MEGITA'S BLOG

You know what is better than Comcast Cable? Why DIRECTV of course!

2010-08-23T11:29:00.001-04:00

Okay, so when comparing Comcast Cable and DIRECTV.....

DIRECTV certainly is above and beyond what I would expect in a cable company.

The reason for this blog post? Well, I am going to be moving my business soon to a different place. Of course, I just HAVE to keep the channels that will interest my clients! So who would I pick when choosing a cable company? Well it would certainly be DIRECTV. DIRECTV for Business.

I am going to give you five reasons why DIRECTV is better for business:

1. 90% of businesses have reported that DIRECTV sports programming increased their business.
2. Watching DIRECTV certainly shortens a customer or client's wait time.
3. Customers and clients will have the opportunity to watch exlcusive programming you just cannot see on regular cable television!
4. The most full-time channels are in HD.
5. And of course -- DIRECTV is #1 in customer satisfaction, as it has been always!

Those are the reasons why DIRECTV is the best choice overall. After all, DIRECTV always will enhance customers and clients' experience with the best news, entertainment, and sports! Your customers and clients will WANT to come back because they will not be dwelling on their wait time while watching DIRECTV. You will be able to keep them engaged, satisfied, and informed.

Every business should have DIRECTV!

*If you are interested in getting a DIRECTV quote, it will only take 15 seconds out of your day to do so. Just go to http://www.directsattv.com/business/ and complete the form on the front of the page!

Happy DIRECTV'ing! :-)

My Review of Fisher-Price Rainforest Melodies & Lights Deluxe Gym

2010-02-11T15:46:00.001-05:00

Originally submitted at Toys R Us

The magical world of the rainforest comes to life with music, lights, nature sounds, and lots of activities and textures to stimulate your growing baby with the Rainforest Melodies & Lights Deluxe Gym from Fisher-Price! The comfy floor quilt has a soft silky border and colorful arches supported...

Awesome and worth buying!

By Megan from Savannah, GA on 2/11/2010

Pros: Easy to Assemble, Entertaining, Worth the money, Holds Baby's Attention, Visually Stimulating, Easy to Clean

Best Uses: Naptime, Playtime, Newborns, Tummy Time, Crawlers, Infants

Describe Yourself: First Time Parent

I bought this for my baby boy when he was close to 4 months old. He still loves it and is going to be 6 months very soon! I am SO happy with this and so is he! I love how you can attach different kinds of toys to it and mix them up. Really keeps the variety going, which my baby boy loves! The music and lights are soothing too (and not as annoying as the Rainforest Jumperoo that I just received today!) This gym may not hold his attention for TOO long, but it is long enough to get some things done or have some "Me time." It is made very sturdy and no offense, but does not even seem like Fisher Price made it!

My baby boy having fun!

Tags: Picture of Product, Using Product

(legalese)

2009-10-15T14:14:00.000-04:00

I have decided to create a new blog. Will update possibly sometime soon.

My Review of Delta Jenny Lind 3-in-1 Convertible Crib - White

2009-05-27T11:58:00.001-04:00

Toys R Us

From Infant Crib to Toddler Bed, this Jenny Lind crib from Delta Luvs brings timeless elegance to any nursery, featuring traditional colonial styling and a solid wood frame with fully-turned spindles in a beautiful white finish. The Crib features patented safe sturdy construction with no tools nee...

More Than What I Had Expected!

Megan the First Time Mommy Savannah, GA 5/27/2009

Pros: Durable, Stable, Easily Assembled, Sturdy, Easy To Clean

Cons: Rough paint texture

Best Uses: Infants, Toddlers, Preemies, Newborn

Describe Yourself: First Time Parent

I have not used the crib YET but will soon as our baby will be coming in about 2 months! This crib is more worth it than I thought it would be! It was TOO easy to put together, no instructions were needed...I don't know if that is because of the crib itself or my smart boyfriend! (he knew where to put all the pieces without even looking at the instructions!) Overall it is sturdy and really great product! Cannot wait for our baby to try it out! :)

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Haven't Written In A While . . .

2009-05-14T12:31:00.003-04:00

. . . and I apologize to all my Blogger friends and readers! I have not been a very loyal Blogger, so I hope you all can forgive me. This pregnancy can really get the best of me at times and I can, well I have to admit that I can be SO lazy LOL!

I do not have that much new news, but here we go.

Remember the Immigration process I was going through with my ex-husband? (Yes, you read right! EX! I'll explain that in a minute...) Well anyways, he was denied and cannot come back to the U.S. unless he crosses that border himself.

I was a bit disappointed AT FIRST because of ALLLLL the money that was put into the process, but sabes que? That disappointment went away fast and I realized that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I truly believe that. And I am happy that he was denied.

Now onto the explanation! Turns out his divorce lawyer told him that him and I are NO LONGER married! (as of January 2009!) There is a law in Honduras that states something like since we haven't had physical contact in TWO YEARS our marriage is basically null and void. Interesting, and yet surprising! So right now, I am NOT married!

STILL, since I [stupidly] changed my name here in the U.S., I have to wait for paperwork with an apostille (a special seal so it will be valid here in the U.S.) in the mail and God knows how LONG that will take! But it will be worth the wait! :)

Okay, what else can I tell you? Baby Salazar is doing fine. No names have been picked out yet. We have a list but have decided to keep it private UNTIL the day baby comes, and then EVERYONE will know his name!

Ah, I do have more news, but it is on Cele's side. Remember his situation? The other woman back in Mexico? Well the TRUTH has finally come out. Now we call her his "ex" because she FINALLY knows everything!

Thankfully all she does is yell at him on the phone each time he talks to her to ask to speak with his kids. I thought FOR SURE she might have pulled something like preventing him from speaking with his kids. Thank God she is smart and realizes if she did that, well that wouldn't be too smart of her because she needs his $$$ to help her support those kids.

Do I feel bad for her? Of course! It is NOT her fault, actually it is in a way BOTH mine and Cele's fault. I knew he had another woman back in Mexico, but I let love get in the way, and kept pursuing the relationship on.

But I told him: "Someday Cele, she WILL find out the truth. All of it. Whether YOU tell her, someone in your family tells her, or she just hears it through the grapevine."

And that certainly wasn't a threat. Not at all. That is how life is. You lie, and whether it is a major or minor lie, it comes back. Maybe not right away. It could be a week from when you told the lie or less, or it could be years before the truth comes out. Bottom line: The truth WILL come out.

He acts better now though. I see a change in him, a BIG one. Even though there WERE some obstacles in the way of our relationship, well I couldn't ask for a better guy.

He spent four days with me and my family and his true colors really showed through. He is so sweet and not to mention HELPFUL! Our relationship is 50/50, which I love, and I really am happy. Sure, I might not feel well and need my space at times (as most of us do, right?) but overall, I really am happy. Just have my moods sometimes. But as a Cappy, that's just how it is LOL.

Well, one more new piece of new news! I've been accepted to a new college and even though it is only for 9 months, I am SO excited! I finally get to study Medical Transcription again and after 9 months I will be able to find employment at home! (they have job placement and everything!)

So needless to say I feel as though I am being given another chance and this time I am NOT going to screw it up! :)

Well that's all for now! I hope everyone is doing good and again . . .

Can you PLEASE forgive me? Perdoname? Please?

~Megan :)

My Review of Da Vinci Jenny Lind Changer in White

2009-05-07T14:47:00.001-04:00

Toys R Us

Classic Jenny Lind changing table comes with two shelves, a safety belt, changer pad, and metal support bracket underneath top shelf for added safety.

Just set it up last night!

Megan, Soon-To-Be Mommy Savannah, GA 5/7/2009

Pros: Sturdy, Easy to Assemble, Cleans Easily

Cons: Scratches Easily

Best Uses: Newborn, Preemies, Infants

Describe Yourself: First Time Parent

I have not used the product yet, but to me it looks like a good and safe one. At first, the directions were a bit confusing, as there are only pictures shown with few written-out directions. But after a while, I was not confused anymore and it became easier. (note: towards the end though, for ME, it got harder again) I feel that it is overall a sturdy changing table and worth the price, though putting it together I was not sure. After seeing the end result though, I am satisfied and cannot wait to use it in a few months, when baby will come! Overall, it really is a pretty piece. :)

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Okay, the new blog is up!

2009-03-25T13:12:00.002-04:00

I was a bit bad, as I gave you the wrong page on purpose lol!

But here is the link! It is up and ready! Hope you all enjoy it!!

http://bebesalazar.blogspot.com/

As Most Of My Readers Know . . .

2009-03-23T16:18:00.008-04:00

Tomorrow is the BIG day! Cele and I will be finding out whether our baby is a little niño (boy) or a little niña (girl). Me and him are both hoping for a niña, but of course a little niño is always welcome too! :D (It would just be extra special if it were a girl though, because it would be Cele's first and he already has three boys lol!) But regardless we want the baby to be healthy no matter what the gender and it STILL IS his first baby with moi! lol! :)

Not much to update on, really. Just that I have set up and created a new Blogger blog for Baby Salazar and THAT is where you will see the news of what Baby Salazar is tomorrow! I was thinking of some kind of way to surprise every one of my readers and show them in a creative-type way I guess you could say, that Baby Salazar is a boy or a girl.

Sooo whenever you are ready, click on this page http://bebesalazar.blogspot.com/. IF the page is in pink, then it's a niña! IF the page is in blue, then obviously it is a niño!

HOWEVER: IF the page says it is under SOME kind of construction or that it is not valid or whatever, that means that I have not posted the news yet and you must be a little bit more patient! ;)

Until then!

~Meg

UPDATE: My Dr's Appt! :)

2009-02-24T20:12:00.005-05:00

It went well. I had a urine test done as usual, blood pressure taken, and weight checked.

Then we got to hear the heartbeat again! It was just my mom and me this time, as Cele had to work, but it was nice. The heartbeat was even louder this time and stronger. Our Dr. says that it was a very good heartbeat.

He also said that my pregnancy is progressing extremely well and that there are NO problems. He also says that I'm gaining weight just at the right speed and that he doesn't want me gaining to much weight lol. Good thing, as my appetite is VERY low as it is haha, so that works out good. He told me that is normal though and that by 20 weeks the appetite will be picking up its speed.

Urine test was negative for any infection, blood pressure was normal (as it always has been thank God) and as I said before I had lost weight in my first trimester but have gained back what I lost in the second trimester. Lovely, but I'm still progressing well. So overall, NO complaints! :)

I received some nice samples today, my Dr's office is awesome! I received a new magazine called New Parents, a Target Baby Registry book, and a kit called "The First Trimester Kit." Too bad I didn't have that when I was actually in the 1st trimester but that's okay, as it came with a book called "Conception To Birth" which shows pictures of what the embryo and fetus look like as it develops and it tells what happens each month. It is quite cool, so its all good. As they say, "Good things come to those who wait."

Speaking of waiting....we'll find out what the gender is when I am 20 weeks. Blah. I was SO hoping sooner, but ultrasounds cost money as everyone knows, sooo I'm assuming it is THAT reason AS WELL AS my Dr. wants to be really SURE when he says if it is a girl or boy. Cele thinks it is a girl, my mom thinks that it is a girl, amigas that I know think that it is a girl, but me? I have NO idea lol! :) Either one is fine with me, just want the baby to be healthy! :)

But my next appointment is in March and I will update you about more then. I will be having genetic testing done, which is a blood test, and it will be telling me if the baby has any neural tube defects. I am sure all will be well though :)

Ta ta for now! :)

2009-02-20T22:35:00.003-05:00

I don't really have a title for this one. All I can say is that an agreement has been made and I am happy about it and so is Cele.

Real quick, as I don't feel like blogging for TOO long, but Cele and I had a serious talk today and I'm proud to say that my hormones did NOT get in the way and I was not irrational jajaja. :)

The decision: Cele is NOT going back to Mexico...until...AFTER the baby is born. I told him "I don't want you going back to Mexico at all, Cele, BUT if I HAD to choose between you going BEFORE the baby is born or AFTER, I would choose after because I want you to know your baby. So for me, could you PLEASE stay here and then go back to Mexico to fix your stuff AFTER the baby is born?"

We really had an easy talk and I find it more easier to talk to him when I'm not "all out of control" with my emotions. He agreed and even promised me. I believe him too. He even told me that that was the best idea and he had been thinking about it.

So that's that then. Let's hope and pray that Cele does NOT go back to Mexico at all and just ends up spilling all his news on the phone instead! Whatever happens, happens though. It will all work out in the end, somehow some way. :)

I Feel Very Solita En Este Embarazo :'o(

2009-02-18T13:14:00.003-05:00

I feel very alone in this pregnancy. I feel like Cele does not want to be involved or whatever. I mean the GUY wants to WAIT until he tells Lucia and his 3 kids when he decides to go back to Mexico and THEN we'll make plans to move in together. I feel like everything is on HIS terms when in reality shouldn't it be on OUR terms? Shouldn't we be making decisions about this together?

I know he cares about this baby and loves him or her, he has told me so many times. And I know he loves me. But ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I told him last night, well here's how the conversation went:

Him: Megan? You don't sound right. What's wrong?
Me: Well, I don't know if that's really the word for it. But there is something wrong. I really
wanted to tell you this on Valentine's Day but Valentine's Day is supposed to be a really
nice day, so I decided not to tell you but well, I feel very alone in this pregnancy.
Him: *silence*

He didn't even say ANYTHING except:

Him: So is that why you acted that way on Valentine's Day towards me?
Me: Well yeah, I guess. Yeah.

Him: *more silence*

WHY DOESN'T THIS GUY TALK? He has told me many times in the past that he does NOT talk, well it is TIME HE DOES.

I feel like I don't know WHAT he wants. I wish he would just open up to me. I honestly do NOT care if we were to live together and he had to keep talking to Lucia. I don't. What I care MORE about is our baby having TWO parents in the same home.

My mom has a new rule now, do I agree with it? I think it is KIND OF stupid as it will be affecting her grandchild and me, BUT THEN AGAIN, I see her point: Cele CANNOT come over to the house UNLESS an adult (my stepdad or my mom) is present. I know, I know. Kind of silly as I am already pregnant and I AM a gosh-darn adult. The thing is that she doesn't want me and Cele having sex in the house, she thinks that makes it too easy for him.

I agree with her BUT THEN I don't agree. WHAT is going to happen when this baby is born and Cele wants to see the child? He has to WAIT until Saturday or Sunday or my stepdad has a day off (which is every 2 weeks a month)? That is damaging to the child I think.

What I would like is to find my own place, but right now, that is just not practical. Even if I was working, you know???

I just wish there was SOME way that Cele would "step up to the plate" so-to-speak. He goes to each Dr's appt with me though, so I don't know. Is it my hormones once again?

I'm just SO damn sad! :( I need advice people! And I'll write to the ppl who commented me recently VERY SOON! :)

Ok! I Need ALL Opinions!

2009-02-11T13:47:00.002-05:00

Don't you just LOVE the drama-filled life I lead? Well, I guess it could be MUCH worse eh? So anyways, I'm making this post quick and I will be responding to my readers' comments soon too!

So me and Cele have been going back and forth on this and back and forth some more. There is NO convincing him! What about you ask? Welllll, just tell me who is right and what would you do if you were me?

Now, you all know about Lucia, his soon-to-be ex girlfriend back in Mexico. Cele's been with her for 12 years and has 3 kids with her. Remember? Well, this is what Cele wants to do and then I'll tell you what I want to do.

Cele's View: He wants me to live with my parents after the baby is born and he will come visit our baby a few times a week or more (depending on my mom's rules). Meanwhile, he will be planning a trip back to Mexico to break the news to Lucia, his children and his parents that he wants to stay with me and about our baby etc. etc. Then after he returns from Mexico, he wants us all to be a family and live together. He says that IF we lived together BEFORE he goes back to Mexico he is worried about a few things: #1 he does not think it is fair to me if we all live together and he talks to Lucia, #2 he doesn't want to leave me alone in our place when he goes back to Mexico, he wants me to be all safe with my parents.

Okay, now as I'm writing this I just don't know if I trust the situation. I trust him just not the situation. After all the hurt I've been through I'm just afraid that I'll lose him. He assures me that I will not and that he will be gone for 2 months (or a little bit less) and then he will return and we'll live together (him, me and the baby) as a family.

Okay, so now what I would like to happen but now that I wrote his point-of-view out, maybe my idea is not so realistic after all.

My View: For me and Cele to start planning to find somewhere for us to live and then we move in together BEFORE baby comes. I feel that that is the right thing because Cele will miss a lot if he is not living with the baby: The baby's first word, when he or she first walks, etc. AND what about communication with the baby? I'm thinking that the baby will be surrounded with all English, how will Cele communicate with him or her when he doesn't know that much English? Maybe I'm just being hormonal haha. :)

Then I think: What will happen when Cele DOES go back to Mexico? I would have to think of daycare and be able to work and pay the rent for us or risk losing our home and moving back to my parents house for 2 months or a little bit less until he came back.

SO maybe Cele is thinking realistically. I just cannot wrap my head around it though: After I give birth, I'm sure Cele will come back home to my parents' house but then he'll go back to his house at night? WTF. Excuse my language but doesn't that seem dysfunctional or whatever?

He tells me that I have EVERY RIGHT to feel the way that I do but also he is right to feel the way he does too. And he's right.

I'm just really afraid of what might happen in Mexico. I mean him and Lucia, well they have a 12 year history together and what if, well YOU KNOW happens between him and her and she gets pregnant AGAIN. I mentioned this to him and he told me "You don't think I can keep it in my pants for a whole two months?" lol. I also told him that I think maybe me and him should break it off when he is over there, but then that's like giving him the green light to go ahead and mess around with a woman he "supposedly" doesn't love anymore right?

I even have to admit I have had thoughts of marrying him just to feel more at ease when he goes over there. But married to him or not, I told myself common sense: If a man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat.

Then I just push ALL those thoughts out of my head and really just think of his safety and how I hope he comes back safe and sound.

So what do my readers think about this one? I'm curious. I would LOVE to go with Cele to Mexico, but you know, I'm pregnant and going to have a baby, so either way that is out of the question!

Thanks for any comments in advance! :)

A Confession and A Misunderstanding

2009-02-09T15:26:00.011-05:00

So this blog is about two things: A Confession and A Misunderstanding. Hey, now remember: I'm NOT perfect! :)

So Cele and I were chatting today on the phone and everything was going great until he mentioned he might be working somewhere else tomorrow but if not he will be coming to see me. Okay....well I asked him where he was going to be working.

He goes "You know, over there."

I said "No, I don't. Where?"

And I had a curious tone about me because after all, I was curious because he did not tell me.

He goes "You know, over there. Near my house."

I felt sick because I knew he had applied where that jack a$$ Jose works (or used to because honestly, who knows if he does work there anymore) (if you don't know or remember him, check out my previous blogs) :)

Anyways, I asked Cele "Did you apply there before?"

He tells me "Oh yeah, a LONGGG time ago." Oh no, it must be where Jose works.

I mentioned the name of the company and he tells me "No, that's not it." Well okay then, I feel better.

He asked me why I was so worried. I came clean (kind of) and told him that if he were to work with Jose or even come across him then he would know how I caused Jose problems with his wife. And no, my readers do NOT know about these problems that I caused.

Guess it is time ya'll do, hm? They weren't BAD problems, just a BIG lie that last a few weeks and then ended.

You see, when I found out that Jose was LYING to me from day 1, well I was pissed. Usually I would just let the b*stard get away with it, but this time, no. Something had to be done. I was tired of being walked allll over. So I called him up and told him that I thought I was pregnant. I know, I know. A terrible, terrible lie. But I did.

(Cele doesn't know this by the way, and really, is it any of his business? The only thing he DOES know is that I caused problems for Jose. But he doesn't know how I did. It's the past, but he tells me he wants to know...more about WHAT ELSE he said later.)

So anyways, Jose cannot believe what I am telling him and we hang up after I tell him I don't know what I am going to do. And trust me, since I have a heart, I DID feel bad lying to him about that.

His wife calls me back and says "What do you want with Jose now?" I told her that "Listen, I don't want anything with him." Then she asked me "Well then why did you call him?" I told her "Because I think I'm pregnant."

She goes "You're pregnant." Hey, she said it so in a way I "confirmed" it and just said "Yeah." She went on and on and told me that Jose just left the house and took the truck, probably looking for me she said, and that he did not tell her where he was going. She was basically accusing me of telling him to come to my house, yeah right. She then told me that she was going to call the police on him, blah blah blah and that I need to go look for him or call the police on him myself and get some money for the baby.

We hung up and that was that. Jose came to my house and we spent that last night talking. It was January 19th and I remember his wife called my cell phone about 20 times. He told me not to answer it. I really felt that he wanted to be with me and not her, that he was choosing me. I know, naive and stupid of me, but at the time I thought that I wanted to be with him. Then he tells me in the morning that he didn't want to be with me or her. He wanted to be solito to think things through and to just, well think.

I had felt used all over again. He took me to work that morning and didn't even kiss or hug me good-bye. I remember getting out of the truck and shaking my head as I left him, what a loser and a user!

I remember I drank a whole bottle of water while listening to what rooms had to be cleaned that morning, thank God I could occupy my mind with that.

I think that I talked to Jose again about a week after that and told him that I had "lost the baby." He told me that it was a lie. I told him that it was true. And that was that. I also told his wife the same thing, especially when her sister wanted to bring me to my Dr's appointment! Ha! It was turning into a soap opera toooo quickly. That is NOT who I am, so I had to end it and in order to do that, I had to say one more lie and tell them both that I had "lost the baby." I hated doing it but it was better than prolonging the lie.

Besides I wanted NOTHING to do with Jose ever again.

So that's my confession. I know it was a terrible thing to do, but the ONLY reason why I did it was NOT to get Jose. It was to prove to his wife that he WAS sleeping with me because I KNEW he wouldn't have the balls to tell her the truth and I wanted her to know what a SCUM Jose really was.

Stupid, I know.

And now, Cele wants to know how I caused problems with Jose. I'm afraid if I tell him he's going to be the type to think that I'm lying about being pregnant or something like that...but that is REALLY stupid because we heard the heartbeat and we saw the baby on the screen! NO FAKING THAT! :D

Then I'm thinking is it really any of Cele's business? I mean, the past is the past, right?

Let me know if I should be honest with him or not. I mean I'm just thinking that someday he's going to come across Jose somehow SOME WAY and Jose might look at our child and be like "Is that mine?" or something or other since he NEVER believed me that I "lost" the baby I lied to him about.

Or should I just leave it be. I think if I DO tell Cele the truth he has NO reason to react in a bad way, that is the past right? Right.

As for the MISUNDERSTANDING part of this blog, well I thought that Cele told me that if he doesn't like what I did to Jose I could lose him! My hormones are catching up to me, I can feel it because I feel like they are jumping all over the place.

So what does everyone think? Please don't think less of me. What I did could have been MUCH worse and it does NOT make me less of a person. :/

So Now I Am Selfish?

2009-02-01T17:11:00.009-05:00

Okay, so I admit that sometimes I can be selfish, but sabes que? I think ALL people whether male or female can be selfish at least ONE point in their lives. I have two people, I will not mention any names of course, but they are saying that I am selfish!

HA!

That is too damn funny. I have a very good heart and try to make people happy and smile as much as I can.

Here are the reasons that were just told to me why I am selfish. Are you ready for this STUPIDITY and DRAMA?

1. I am selfish because I am sitting here on the couch with a new laptop that I bought with my own money and I've got the baby on the way.

My thoughts on this: This does NOT show that I am selfish! I bought this laptop for one, with my own money, the money that the college sent to me. Number two, I feel all non-productive when studying in my room with my desktop and I must say that I have completed close to 5 assignments today when using my new laptop. Four more assignments are done than what I usually would have completed if I were using my desktop computer in my room. And number three, yes I KNOW and I am FULLY AWARE that I have a baby on the way! The reason for my *splurge* is because after baby comes, I will be focusing my 100% and beyond that attention on that baby and doing SO much for him or her and giving him or her things. So overall, this was not a selfish purchase. This was a final splurge for me on something that I have always wanted.

2. Because I would like my stepfather to burn a DVD for me from online, The Uninvited. But you see, my mother does NOT want to see it because it is a scary movie. So I simply said "Well it would be nice if you [meaning my stepfather] would make it for me since you are making all the movies my mom wants and I only really am requesting one, and I have no problem watching it in my room since you both do not want to see it."

My thoughts on this: How the HELL does this seem selfish? It doesn't and that word is irrelevant!

3. Okay, so this next one is because I owe a good friend [well ex-amigo since we never talk anymore] but anyways I owe him $300. So the fact that I am sitting here with my laptop and have not paid him back his money, I am considered selfish.

My thoughts on this: He will get his money, he will. I had plans to pay him off with this money I received from my college, but I decided not to, and yes I will admit it, it MAY seem a teensy bit selfish of me, but again I had my reasons. I wanted to get this laptop for my studies and well, so far so good, as I have completed MORE things than if I were in my room studying.

My Verdict: I AM NOT SELFISH.

So do ANY of these reasons seem selfish? Maybe I am thinking in black and white but you know what? I am NOT selfish and I'm tired of people thinking that I am and saying mean shyt when I AM NOT the one that sits in the chair and plays a stupid video game on my PSP and ignores anyone and anything that is near me or walks by me or talks to me. I am not like that. I am MORE involved with this family than THAT person, again no name will be mentioned.

5 Minute Update!

2009-01-31T00:22:00.002-05:00

So I am literally going to give you a 5 minute update. So here goes....

The main reason why me and Cele were taking a break is because of my messed up hormones. That's what pregnancy will do to ya lol! But everything is good now, I was sick for the past week now and Cele spent three days by my side "taking care of me" and what not.

We both have an understanding now and that's all that needs to be said about that.

I am typing from my laptop right now. That's right. I went out and splurged a bit on myself because I figure when this baby comes, there will be NO splurging on ME lol, just on baby, so hey, this will be my LAST splurge for QUITE a while. Which is awesome. It was a great purchase. I just got it tonight from Best Buy. Would have bough it from Circuit City but hey, they are closing down if not have done that already and well, that's another blog in itself right? :)

So what else can I tell you? Oh yeah, I am 12 weeks today! And counting......;)

And I have a job interview this coming Wednesday.

OMG and my last OBGYn appt went well! Sorry about the typo, this keyboard is awesome though even though I'm not used to it, wouldn't change it for anything in the world hehe.

Anyways, we heard the heartbeat. So since we've seen the heartbeat, heard the heartbeat, and I'm now at 12 weeks without ANY problemas, the miscarriage rate goes down by SO MUCH, so that is all good news.

My little baby's heartbeat. It was an awesome thing. And the Dr. says that I am progressing wonderfully and that he is very pleased with everything too!

That's all for now. Have to catch some zzz's as I am still a bit sick and feeling under the weather.

Will check in again soon! Ok, ok, so my update was 6 minutes. So sue me! Oh and one other thing, the movie Gran Turino is a great one, so WATCH IT if ya can! ;)

~M~

Taking A Break

2009-01-25T14:28:00.003-05:00

Yep. Me and Cele are taking a break. This started yesterday actually, which was our 1 year anniversary mind you! So needless to say I never thought that this would be happening, but whatever.

It was my idea and really, I'm actually not going to get into the details of what happened because I don't need the stress of talking about it especially in my condition. I just told him that during this time he needs to think of what is important to him and what his priorities are.

We still are keeping in touch on the phone, just not seeing each other for a long while. The ball is in his court so-to-speak and when he decides what is important to him, if he wants me in his future, and if he is going to change, then that's when we'll see each other again.

He told me that he never thought I would do this. I told him that I never thought that I would have to!

He cries each time on the phone when we talk. (And they are genuine tears, not manipulating tears or whatever as some have mentioned in the past). Crying is how he deals with things when he is hurt instead of burying it inside him. I'd much rather have him be a "cry baby" or whatever than bury it inside him and have it come out FULL FORCE when we argue or what not.

Anyways, I hope that this separation is very short because I DO miss him. He's a good guy, just well, you know. He's a stubborn guy. Like most of them! :)

I am replaying Akon's "Right Now (Na Na Na)" over and over again. It kind of describes how I am feeling a LITTLE bit but it also has an awesome beat.

I'll keep everyone updated on what happens. Hoping and praying for the best with EVERYTHING.

WOW! Shocking News For You!

2009-01-23T14:27:00.010-05:00

And it was shocking news but not surprising news of course, as I already felt it in my heart that it was going to happen or that it might have already happened.

What am I talking about you ask?

Daniel is with someone else. Just like me and is also in my same situation. The guy is going to be a father! I know, I know. I am shocked just like you. A tiny bit of me feels hurt in a way and disappointed, like now this is really the end of us. Just have to get divorced.

I'm happy for him though, don't get me wrong. He knew this girl, her name is Dulce, and she was his "first love" so to speak. They dated back when he was 15 years old. He's 26 now and she is 21. She is due in March and they are having a baby girl.

Daniel knows about me too. My parents think that he lied about it all because I was the one who told him about my situation first. I didn't mean to, but he STILL has his way of getting me to talk lol. It was weird when he was asking me questions and I was asking him questions. It was like, I don't know just downright weird.

He wants to marry her too. He asked me if I love Cele. I told him yes, I do. He didn't say anything about Dulce, nothing about loving her or anything. When I asked him what was her name? He hesitated and then told me. Kind of weird to hesitate, but whatever.

They live together too and he says that me and Cele should live together too. It is the right thing.

Daniel does not seem to happy about the pregnancy, I mean Dulce's, not mine. He was shocked and said "I can't believe that you are pregnant Megan." and he kept asking me if I was taking care of myself. He asked about my prenatal vitamins, if I'm showing yet, have I had an ultrasound, etc.

It was weird talking to him about it all because we talked like we were friends. I secretly am hoping that his waiver doesn't get approved, but only because I selfishly do NOT want to see him because I know how I am, yes I love Cele SO SO SO MUCH, there is NO denying that. But to see Daniel again, especially in MY situation and with his situation? Nah, I'd rather not see him again. I think we'd both feel crappy. Maybe not though, as people DO change.

He told me that he wishes my baby was his or Dulce's baby was his with ME. I couldn't believe he said that. I think he is just being a man and "stepping up to the plate." I don't think he really loves her loves her. Hey, I give him credit though for being man unlike little boys out there who don't want the "responsibility", etc. lol (no one in particular mind you, just in general!) :)

And Dulce knows about me. He told her upfront when they started talking again. It is just SOOO weird how me and Daniel are in basically the same situations. I really am surprised at him though because he was always wanting to use condoms. Maybe he feels she is the one though.

My situation was not like that though. I think I've said this before, but Cele was SUPPOSED to be a rebound guy lol. But I fell for him and I honestly did NOT think that I could get pregnant, because when me and Daniel were a couple, it may be TMI so sorry about this ahead of time, but we had it unprotected all the time and nada. No baby was conceived lol. So I honestly thought that I could not conceive. (but then again, everything happens for a reason doesn't it?)

I know, I know. How naive! But the reason why I post basically my 'life story' is because someone out there may be reading it someday or even now and might say to themselves: "Hey, that sounds just like me!" So if ANYTHING I write sounds like your situation or how you have felt or feel, contact me! (that reminds me, I have comments I have to respond to lol! Forgive me!) :)

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So tomorrow it will be 1 year for me and Cele. I have been thinking of how to celebrate it. I am just going to get him a card in Spanish and write him a love letter telling him how much I love him, etc. etc. Ya know, all that mushy stuff.

Oh! And I'm 11 weeks today. Can't believe it. Time is going slow though. I would like to start showing already haha! :D I don't know if I am yet, could be bloating lol, but I can't fit comfortably into my regular pants or shirts anymore, already in maternity clothes! But they are pretty nice, thanks to my Mommy and Joe! :) *kisses and hugs*

Well what an update, huh? I am sure I will have plenty more and hopefully they are POSITIVE ones! I go back to my OBGYN soon and hopefully get to meet him! I also have been researching apartments and may have found one for CHEAP CHEAP rent!

Oh and spoke with immigration, and well, no decision will be made until at the end of March. I also asked Daniel when he was going to tell me about him and Dulce and the baby. He told me in person and when he came back.

I remember him telling me way long ago that he had something to tell me but he wanted to do it in person. I bet that was it.

One thing is for sure though: I don't believe that he is being honest with how long he's been with her because shortly after I got back from Honduras, he had changed. That is when I began questioning myself why I had married him, etc. AND that's why I went out with Jose and then after he "broke my heart" [lol] I went out and continued a relationship with Cele. I believe he was with her when we were still together.

So really regardless, NEITHER of us are innocent and both cheated as far as I'm concerned because we may be "broken up" but we are still legally married. I mean we are not even legally separated. But that's water under the bridge now and I feel as long as me and him can remain friends and/or civil, then things should be okay. SO WEIRD though that he's going to be a father and I'm going to be a mother! It is like this was God's plan. It's a weird one but I trust in Him, most definitely I do! :)

P.S. I remember praying to God after Daniel and I had broken up and I was with Jose. This was all before I even knew my precious Cele existed, but I prayed to God hard and said: "Dear God, Please let me conceive a baby someday with the man that I am supposed to be with. With the man that will make me happy."

Well...I know that He heard me, because I believe in Him and all that. So weird how I have had SO many chances conceiving and well, no baby was conceived until now. With Cele. So I think I might have gotten my answer, hm? :)

Ok, enough of all this. Time to go study.

First Ultrasound!!!

2009-01-06T17:43:00.004-05:00

Wow, it was a good day, at least FOR ME it was. For Cele, I really do not know what he is feeling, as he really does not TALK that much.

But it is all reality now!

Below is a picture of my ultrasound. Both my mom and Cele were present for it, Cele cried a little bit hehe. We both saw it moving too as well as its little heart beating...it was a flashing light! It was so cool! I have never seen anything like it in my life!

My mom does not seem too thrilled though, she did not even see the baby move nor did she see the heartbeat. I really do not think she agrees with it and does not want to be involved because of the situation, I could be wrong though as I received many cute outfits for the baby for my birthday! She got really mad at me and told me that she is tired of being a mother. I would never say that to my child, I know she was just angry at me though, so really, never say never. Yeah, I know she is stressed or WHATEVER about this. What about me? Ya think I'm not? I'm going to try and find some type of housing though so I can get the heck out of here, I'm tired of people not being HAPPY for me and feeling SORRY for me instead!

If you don't agree with this: Keep it to yourself. There are SO MANY things that I do NOT agree with that people do, have done, or are still doing. I don't go and say anything because I don't want to hurt others, ya know? (and please DO NOT think that this is meant for ANYONE in particular because it really is not. Just warning you AHEAD of time what I think. And to my close friends [ya'll know who you are!] ANY feedback that I receive from you, well you know I appreciate you not sugar-coating it! :) Love ya'll!

But I am REALLY tired of PEOPLE saying "What ifs" and "What could bes" WHAT IS, IS PEOPLE! GET THE F*CK OVER IT! And that's the LAST time I am swearing lol, that kind of stress is NOT good for my little one.

On another note, below is an ultrasound picture. The technician was really sweet. I really like my OBGYN place, still have not met the "big guy" or Dr. Dueno lol! Seems like he is invisible though I hear his name (or "Dr. D") being called while I am there. Have not seen him yet though!

I have another appointment towards the end of this month. I was told I would not have another ultrasound until I am 5 months!!! WOW! Long time!

Ok, so I think that is enough of an update for now. I have to go study again. I'm still behind but thankfully I won't be soon! :D

So I leave you with my little miracle!

The Agreement and The Result of Being Told

2009-01-02T12:28:00.004-05:00

Well, you are probably wondering what exactly is the agreement and what exactly is the result of being told, I'm sure right?

To start out: Cele and I talked on 30th and immediately I knew something was up. He told me that he was downtown in the city and watching the ships go by with his uncle Adolfo, and he was also thinking.

Hmm. Ok: So Cele is watching the ships go by and thinking? Not like him at all. The silence is then broken and he goes "You're right, Megan. Everything that you have said. You are right."

I was stunned and shocked. Here was a MAN who was telling a WOMAN that EVERYTHING she said was RIGHT. To make sure I was not hearing what I wanted to hear lol, I basically made him repeat it: "I am right about what?"

He told me everything that I have been telling him. About how his sister should know about me and him and how long we've been together, how I'm PG, etc.

He also apologized to me and asked me to forgive him because he has kept a secret of what we have.

The agreement: So that's what it was. Cele agreed with me and planned on telling his sister at her house on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. But of course, it seems like life planned something different.

The evening of the 30th, Cele's sister dropped by to talk with Cele. You see, Cele was supposed to call me at 9-9:30pm that night, but did not call me until a bit later. NEVER like him. He's always early or on the dot. Therefore, I knew something was up.

I really thought he was drinking again or something like that, but it wasn't. Not at all. I could hear in his voice that something had happened and of course, you know how I am, I was curious!

I told him "What's up? You are very quiet. Something happened, is everything ok?"

He laughs while telling me that "nothing is wrong" blah blah blah

If there's one thing I know: When Cele is lying or fibbing or trying to pull one over on me, he laughs. Any kind of chuckle or laugh. Even a nervous laugh. (You THINK he'd realize this and try to cover it up LOL!)

So after trying to convince him that I know otherwise, he goes "Ok, I tell you?"

I said "Ok."

Then he goes: "But I'm ONLY going to tell you if you stop asking me to do things like this."

I said "Ok, ok." (you KNOW I didn't fully promise that, right?) :)

So he tells me what happened: "She showed up. My sister. And we started out talking nicely...."

When he told me that I just KNEW it did not end well. And I was right.

He continues: "We started talking nicely and then I broke down and told her about you and she knows that you are my girlfriend and that we've been going out for almost a year."

Wow! It was music to my ears.

"So she knows everything?" I asked him. "She knows that I am pregnant too?"

The music to my ears fades when he tells me "not yet." I was a bit mad but I couldn't be. He was crying and crying hard because I mean he and his sister had just fought and she left very angry with him.

She asked if Lucia knew about me and him and he told her the truth: NO. She was REALLY mad by that and told him "Cele, you know what you are doing. You are not a kid anymore. You know exactly what you're doing. It's your life."

He then goes on to tell me that she left angry and that he is worried that his parents could find out and if THEY do, then Lucia will.

I did not say anything just gave him sympathy for him and his sister fighting and also told him "thank you."

So that's all that has happened. We got into a pretty good-sized fight on New Year's Eve and we both said "Good luck and Good Bye." I even told him that I did not want to have this baby.

16 minutes later he called me back and said "I'm going to the city and you do your thing and I'll do mine."

Another "Good Luck and Good Bye" was said and that was that.

That was around a little after 7pm. Then around 10pm he called back and was literally in tears! He told me "Forgive me Megan for all that I told you. I'm sorry. Forgive me, but you too said some things that I will never forget."

I asked him for forgiveness as well and told him that I am scared that he is not going to be in this baby's life.

He told me "How can you say that? And how could you say that you do not want to have this baby when I already love it so much?"

Wow. I was shocked when he said that, I tell ya.

So we made up. He fell asleep while the New Year rang in, but that's ok. I got to hear him snoring hahaha to start the New Year. I really wanted to be WITH him while starting the New Year, but beggers can't be choosers, or so-to-speak LOL.

Everything is ok now...we are still a bit quiet with one another after that big fight. It was terrible. I've never cried SO MUCH in my life I do not think.

We shall see what happens. I go for another OBGYN appt on the 6th. I think we get to hear the baby's heartbeat and also get to see it on the ultrasound! Maybe I will have a picture for you if all goes well! :)

I'm still all nervous about this thing though and wonder: Can I really do it? Can I be a mother?

The Time Has Come To Choose . . . PART 2!

2008-12-28T12:08:00.001-05:00

Ok, so change of plans. I did not want to give him a LONG ultimatum and so I explained to him that he has 14 DAYS to tell either Lucia about everything or his sister about everything.

He can choose.

Either way I want to have faith that Lucia will find out.

I told him that I still want to be with him and I REALLY do NOT want to be this way, but I have to, as he is not doing ANYTHING to help or move this situation along. I also told him that it is NOT fair to this baby, NOT fair to his family nor Lucia, and it's NOT fair to me.

Lastly, I told him that IF he has NOT said anything to Lucia OR his sister by the 14 days, I am sorry but him and I cannot be together until something changes.

Just wanted to update lol! MAN THIS GUY CAN BE STRESSFUL!!!! :(

The Time Has Come To Choose . . .

2008-12-28T11:09:00.003-05:00

So I have been thinking a lot lately regarding Cele's behavior and well, it sucks. I did not expect this at all, but now I am thinking this is why Lucia is the way she is!

*Make mental note to self (and for others!): The next time you get involved with a man who has another woman and claims SHE is to blame and that's the reason why he "loves" you, check with the other source somehow some way BEFORE believing him.*

The reason why *I believe* Lucia is the way she is, is because of Cele's drinking. I have to admit he is not into the party scene thankfully, but ya know something? It still is not good.

I am having a long talk with him today and giving him 3 choices to make. He can do all of them or 2 of them, but he MUST do one and he MUST do one before January 24, 2009.

Here are the choices:

1. Tell Lucia, his other "woman" in Mexico about me and him, that he wants to stay with me (supposedly) and that he is having a child with me. (I don't care HOW he does it, he just needs to do it.)

2. Tell his sister, who lives right down the road from him, about me and him and that he wants to stay with me (supposedly) and that we are having a child together. I also would like to meet her too.

3. Stop drinking OR AT LEAST stop getting drunk each time he wants to drink. (I can understand a few beers to relax, like a few times a month, but he does NOT need to get drunk each time he wants a beer. I'm talking he ALWAYS has to drink 6, 7, or 8 beers, but NEVER drinks more than 8!)

The decision is his. If he does NOT do at least ONE of these things BEFORE January 24, 2009 then I will have to decide from there. It will MOST LIKELY be over between us until he gets his shyt together.

I have told him that I have done this "drinking thing" before with my soon-to-be-ex and he had PLENTY of times to change, but he chose not to. The drinking became more important. NOW there is a child involved and I DO NOT want my child to suffer or be subjected to that type of environment.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now lol! Let me know what you think and if I'm being fair.

Note: Whether it matters or not, his drinking did not start until he started having less work. He used to work 7 days a week, now it is just 2 days a week, IF he's lucky! He opened up to me and told me that when he drinks his problems go all away but then after he is sober again, bam! His problems are back and reality has returned.

Update On My Little Bun in the Oven!

2008-12-26T14:29:00.002-05:00

The Prenatal Visit:

Wow! It was quite a long visit. I am going to say right away that I did not get to see my little "bun" lol on an ultrasound/sonogram. :( Was disappointed but have another appointment scheduled in January.

I got my blood taken, about 5 test tubes of it! Nearly fainted and they had to lock me in the chair, give me orange juice, and put cold washcloths on my forehead and neck lol! Thankfully, I found out that I was NOT the only one that did that!

I am going off my One A Day Prenatal vitamins today and getting my new ones, I think they are called, PreCare or something or other like that, well I'm getting those tonight and starting them tonight as well.

I still cannot believe and I am still shocked about this. Cele is not really taking it well, considering his situation with not working as much AND his other woman nor his immediate family knowing about me/the "bun".

It is not the most ideal situation, but honestly, what situation is? You can be rich and be stable by yourself or with someone else, and still, having a baby STILL might not be wise for you to do. And no one is ever ready.

Am I nervous? Yes. Am I scared? Definitely. Am I excited? At times, yes. Am I sick? The nauseous is ALWAYS there it seems now. REALLY thought I was gonna be one of the lucky ones lol! Knocked on wood too soon I guess! :)

Am I trying to be positive and stay optimistic in this situation? Of course, but it most definitely is NOT easy.

What about my motivation? Has it come back? NOT YET. I really want it back soon because I HATE having to push myself to get up in the morning, shower, eat, study, you name it: I have to push myself.

Other than that, the nurse did a pelvic exam and told me that my uterus is measuring 8 to 10 weeks. Last time I had my uterus felt it was measuring at 7 to 8 weeks, so it's growing lol!

I will be 10 weeks (give or take) this Sunday coming up. 2 more weeks and I'm out of the "danger zone."

We shall see what happens. Will try to update again. Xmas was nice by the way too.

Until then,

Do Not Want To Keep You All In Suspense....

2008-12-10T11:29:00.007-05:00

........so here goes. Here is my BIG and SURPRISING NEWS.

I found out on Sunday, well....

that there is a little bun in the oven! I cannot believe it and it does not seem at all real to me. I am just ecstatic and excited and, well me and Cele both are. We both are very pensive and nervous though as we truly do not have a pot to pee in nor a window to throw it out of. But I trust in God's decisions and what will be, will be. For now, I am enjoying this beautiful time of a woman's life!: Pregnancy! Embarazo! :)

(I know, I know. It couldn't have come @ a "better" time with mine and his situation, huh? Well, it did and maybe God has different plans for me and him?)

I'm 7-8 weeks and wow! DO I FEEL IT! lol And yes, I know most people wait until they are 12 weeks or above, but I am the type of person that I share exciting news and whatever happens, happens. As that is life! Hoping and praying for all the best of course though! Prayers and blessings are certainly welcome!

As are all comments too! I appreciate positive comments of course, but understand the reason for not-quite-positive ones too! Just throw 'em @ me lol!

Thanks and I will update again! :D

~Megan :)

BIG and SURPRISING NEWS!!!

2008-12-07T10:46:00.002-05:00

I REALLY want to share this news but I unfortunately have to wait things out a bit. Will be back to update soon! Lisa, I am SURE I will hearing my cell ring haha! For anyone or everyone who wants to know my news (AND has my cell #) well feel free to drop me a line! :D

Much love,

Why So Many Questions?

2008-12-01T17:09:00.006-05:00

So a lite bulb has gone off. It went off after hearing Cele asking me so many questions. There is no pattern to the questions and actually, I used to convince myself that this guy is just downright insecure and terrified on being cheated on again, for the third time! But a lite bulb went off and I know that he does not ask me these questions all the time because he is insecure. Here let's take a look at the questions that usually drive me nuts!!! Then we'll get into WHY they drive me nuts!!! and WHY he really asks them.

The usual questions:

What are you doing?
Are your parents home yet?
What's that noise?
What are you going to do today?
What will you do after you do _____?
Are you going anywhere today?
Did you eat breakfast? Lunch? Dinner?
Are you going to have a snack/dessert?
What are you going to do tomorrow?
How was your day and what did you do?
Are you mad or bothered by me?
Did you work/study today?
Have you talked to your husband or _____ at all?
Have you talked to your mom today?

Okay, so those are the main "snapshot" of the questions I am usually asked. And man, does it drive me NUTS!!! I used to think and was convinced it was because Cele was insecure and wanted to know my every move, but I am convinced otherwise: Well, we'll discuss it after.

Let's take a trip down memory lane. Actually as I look back on it, it was definitely no "memory lane!" Try a "fire pit down Hell's lane" haha! Yeah, I'm talking about Daniel. I remember the majority of our time spent together (here in GA, not talking about in NC and the "honeymoon stage.") well anyways, the majority of his time he was working and I was of course at home.

I remember being at my computer all day, usually studying and looking/applying for jobs, and he'd come home from work and expect me to warm up his dinner and then ask how I was and say hi. Then he'd hop online and play Solitaire or watch his STUPID Primer Impacto, Noticieras or soccer stations. Ugh, nice relationship! I still don't know why he wasn't kicked to the curb because really he was a piece of work, a roommate and certainly not a "lover" or even boyfriend material! Ah, live and learn I guess!

So my point out of all this is, is that I am not upset when Cele asks me those questions, do I get a bit bothered and feel nuts? Yes! But it is not because I do not care about Cele, because I love him so much, but when the lite bulb when off I realized it is because I am not used to being asked questions and Cele only asks questions because he cares! Daniel never cared and was a self-centered prick, a$$hole, etc.! It is SO obvious now.

I think even a part of me feels like all this treatment is "foreign" to me and that I do not deserve it because I am so used to being treated like shit.

That's all I had to say. On another note, I started my two classes today. English Composition 102 and Humanities 101. Received my final grade pt. averages for last semester: B+ in ENC 101 and A- in SOS. I thought for SURE it would have been reversed but hey, I'm not complaining and plan on doing MUCH better this semester because I want A+ in BOTH classes lol!

That's all for now. Still trying to pound the computer and earn some bucks to pay bills. That's about it.

I'll check back and update if something new later in the week!

~Megs :)

Just A Quick Update For My Readers

2008-11-25T23:34:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I now I do not update as much, but I really AM busy and not just lazy. Ok, so maybe it's a combo of both lol.

I have many work at home jobs that I have been doing. Here is just a list and I'm not getting into detail b/c it is just too much lol. So message me if you want to know more but some things I cannot and will NOT disclose as I have signed contracts and I do not want to lose my job! :)

1. iDictate -- Transcription whether medical or general; no voicemails like below though.
2. Quicktate -- Transcription but of voicemails only.
3. Mturk -- Not really a job per se, just mainly to grab income when I need it lol.
4. Text121 -- I really like this job A LOT. It's easy and they pay well. It is a texting job.

Now for pending interviews or training:

1. ACD Direct -- I have training scheduled with them Dec 1st.
2. Idapted -- Interview with them tomorrow, at 10pm. It is teaching Chinese students English, which is quite cool and thank God they are not Hispanic students because me talking to guys? Umm, I would be in trouble hahaha. Just kidding ;)

Still applying to work at home jobs and outside jobs. Going to the city tomorrow to fill out apps, get 'em notarized and hand them in to apply for two county jobs. We shall see what luck I have.

That is pretty much it. On my vacation or break from college right now until Dec 1st. I will start English Composition 102 and Humanities 101 then. Books are already on there way--thanks to Mommy! She'll be paid back though, for sure!

Next year's plans: Buy a laptop as I have always wanted one and also a desktop. Might even buy a new bed. Not sure yet, but DEFINITELY a laptop. They are just too handy lol.

That's all for now. Cele and I are doing well. I notice he always wants to know about what kind of products I use. Kinda scares me, but maybe it is because he's loco for me? I mean for example, I use Caress soap right? Well, I go over to his house one day and now HE is using it. Another example to convince you? Ok. He knows that I take vitamins, so we went to Wal-Mart to pick him out some. They are One A Day Men's, ok fine, they are good, almost like mine. Want to know what he says? He tells me that these are good for now BUT when he comes to my house again he would like me to take him to the GNC store to buy the EXACT vitamins that I bought b/c he wants those. LMBO. Too funny.

How about one more example to convince you? I drink Lactaid because I cannot really stomach regular milk too well, right? Well, guess what kind of milk he drinks now? Yep! You guess it! Lactaid.

I'm not really complaining because he really doesn't fit the profile of a stalker lol, but can you imagine if he was? Uh uh, I'd have to move out of state for sure! ;)

It is kind of flattering though, as I have NEVER had any guy do that before!

Other than that, things are good. 10 months passed on the 24th. That's how long we've been a couple! Crazy how fast time goes. Still haven't started on his scrapbook, but will soon. :)

Hope everyone reading this is doing well! :)

Talk to you again soon!

Until then.

P.S. Lisa, girl sorry I did not call you back! I hope you are not offended. I wrote ya a msg on Twitter, not sure if ya got it though. Whenever you wanna go out, just say the word, and I'm giving me and Cele the green light, so to speak. He already says he's fine with it, so it's allll good! :D Miss you!

So Where To Begin?

2008-11-10T20:18:00.008-05:00

Not too much to update with. I know some of you may be waiting for me to update on the psychic visit...ah, maybe some other time, as I have plans tonight and want to get in and out of this blog fast. Don't have time to linger lol.

Cele and I are still together. Seems the more I see him, the more I wanna be with him. Ha! Is that really a surprise? I don't think it is lol. Little things can get on my nerves sometimes, but ya know what? He's SO much better than Daniel (the Catracho husband) as far as the respect part and gentleness part and sweetness part . . . need I go further lol? :) *sigh*

So what can I enlighten you with? 10 months for me and Cele the 24th of this month. I STILL haven't started on his surprise yet either. It has to be done by January 24th. That's the deadline I gave myself and I also told him it would be done by then too.

He's not leaving for Mexico any time soon. He's waiting for me to get divorced first, then he's on his way to Mexico and telling Lucia that he is happy with me and wants to be with me. He is first talking with his parents, then Lucia and the kids.

Am I holding my breath? Well, as much as I want to believe this hombre, I am not putting allll my eggs in one basket. I'm separating them into separate piles: 50 in one basket and 50 in the other. Ya got me? Know what I'm saying lol?

He hasn't been talking to Lucia as much though, which is nice! I get soooo jealous lol so obviously there's something there, eh? :D

On a different note. I received my midterm for college back! Woohoo! I cannot BELIEVE it but I got 100%! Totally unexpected! I thought I would have gotten a 90 or a bit more, but NO ERRORS! Awesome! My other midterm I received a 90 something I think, not remembering correctly.

Did I tell you I lost my job? I trained for another at home job...was supposed to start today actually. I decided not to. It was a job w/ incoming calls back to back w/ no break in between and only a 15 minute break within a 4-hr sitting on my butt-kind-of shift! AND to top that off, if I had to go to the bathroom I would have to ASK whoever was in charge FIRST to see if I could go! WHAT?! *the kind of Yahoo icon that has a shocked face* Uh uh. They are crazy. That's nuts! What if someone had that kind of condition where they had an overactive bladder? What would happen then? After all, isn't that WHY they would want an at-home job? :/

Let's see...oh! Another think about college: I already registered for two more classes. I am on WEEK 11! Cannot BELIEVE that I've been in college for 11 weeks! How many months IS that?....OMG it's almost FOUR months?! How is that possible! Wow, time sure flies. Cannot believe it is almost 2009 too!

I sure will be having a great Thanksgiving, Xmas, News Yrs, another great Valentine's Day....I love holidays with Cele. He's just SO much fun and down-to-earth and well, after all he is a Taurus.....

Speaking of the other Taurus, Marcial, well I am going to be completely honest: Me and him talk on and off. Nothing serious though. Wellll I am talking nothing serious. He on the other hand is making allllll these plans saying he is looking for a job for me and is going to get an apartment for me and him and we're going to start a family, etc.etc.

Sheesh. I tell him to basically "slow it down." He knows I see Cele, but he really doesn't know how much and how serious it is. We never really discuss it and basically me and him are friends.....*shrugs* I feel really guilty about it though, talking to Marcial on and off I mean. There are days where I block him on my phone. But then I take him off b/c I feel bad. Heck, maybe I like to keep my options open in case it doesn't work out with me and Cele. I always like to be prepared I guess. *shrugs*

So Cele and I had a nice weekend together. We actually played two kiddie games! Crazy fun, I tell ya! First one we played was Perfection. Ya know that game with the pieces and timer and ya gotta put each piece in its designated spot before the 60 secs are up? Yup! We played that. Had a blast actually. He loved it. Especially since he never had seen something like that in his life. God, I adore him. That game was nice since we played it together and it kind of showed me (a little bit, since it really was just a game) what it would be like if me and Cele had to work on something together. We did quite well.

Okay, so second game was the Game of Life. I've never seen the "greedy" side of him before, but it was all in fun of course and we had crazy fun with that game too! He won and got to "retire" at the Millionaire Estates. Little stinker!

I got some pics though of him playing the Game of Life though....so that will be nice to put in his scrapbook. That is his surprise by the way, in case ya'll were wondering or if I never mentioned it. :) I am giving it to him on our 1 year and ya know what the crazy thing is? I am not really afraid afraid of mentioning our 1 year because I just know we'll make it then. It's something that I do not doubt. So weird.

Before all the game playing though, I took Cele to my fav Mexican restaurant here on the island, Cancun Cafe II. He really liked it! Mis padres no saben esto pero....tomamos esa noche: I had my first fresa margarita and he had tres Coronas! We were quite "crazy" when we got back to my house lol. We even talked about going out to Charley's again and he wants to, and as long as it doesn't get "mucho loco" as he always says, then we will stay. But the second it gets too "mucho loco" for him, we're outta there. Hey, fine with me. I explained to him that I need to go out at least 1-3 times a month to my little "fix." lol!

Anywhoooo

Wednesday is a busy day for me. I am going downtown and taking clerical testing in order to apply for two jobs. Then Thursday (if I do well on the clerical testing) I will be going back to the same place and getting what I need to notarized and submitting those applications. Wish me luck!

And on Thursday night, I have an interview for a company. Working @ home of course. I always like to keep my options open . . . ha ha ha guess when it comes to all things, eh? Even the men! Haha. Sorry. That wasn't that funny, was it?

So classes end on November 22nd and then I'm on break until I start my classes again, which will be on December 1st.

Oh -- did I tell ya I applied @ my fav. store, Barnes and Noble? Well, the first interviewer was a be-otch. The second one? A flake. Both were kinda snobs as well as the employees who worked there. I got accepted and they offered me a position. I turned them down and lied and said I went with another job. I told her that I would give her my answer on Wednesday or before, since I had "other interviews pending." Ya wanna know what she told me when I called her to turn down my offer on Wednesday? "Oh well I've already moved on."

Be-otch! Hey, B&N will be my favorite store still. I'm just glad I don't work @ it b/c it probably would have turned into a store I would have NEVER walked into again lol!

Quick Update!

2008-10-25T23:46:00.003-04:00

Cele and I are doing G-R-E-A-T! We all (my parents and me and him) went to SC for the day and got home a bit late but overall, GREAT time!

Cele and I have been together 9 months! Wellllll...9 months and 1 day, today! LOL

What more can I tell you? I plan on moving out, either on my own or Cele will move in with me, in about 6 months if all goes as planned.....

Cele is waiting to go back to Mexico to tell Lucia about me and him AFTER I get divorced. Hey, he wants to make SURE I'm divorcing Daniel and can ya blame him? I sure don't.

Cele's uncle is going back to Mexico tomorrow morning. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Mauro and I pray you arrive there safely and return here safely as well. He is supposed to come back next year sometime, prolly around the time Cele returns for 2 months. Butttt that ALL depends on how long the divorce will take.

I still think about Daniel off and on, but hey, I'm only human. And I weigh the Pros and Cons and still Cele seems like a perfect match.

What else can I tell ya? I saw a psychic for the 1st time ever in my life and let me tell ya, SHE IS GOOD! I will update about that later.

2mro I'm seein' my Cele again, so I must rest up for another day of fun tomorrow!

I adore him SO much. He is so gentle, romantic, sweet, considerate and protective. I just love him SO much! It's crazy. Especially since I REALLY did not think me and Cele would get this far. It's terrible to say this, but I REALLY thought Cele was gonna just be a "rebound" to get over Jose.

Well, looks like the Heavens above had a little bit MORE planned for me that I had planned on and hey, I'm SURE AS HECK NOT hatin' it! ;)

That's all for now! Oh--College is going good. Almost finished with my 2 classes. Already took my midterms. Grades are pretty high.

AH--I also lost my job with NRT Insurance! Applying like there's no tomorrow, so basically my "job" now is working for iDictate, a transcription company. It's not HIGH paying money, but it's okay. I also take surveys and get paid 3 bucks soooo I'm doing okay. I applied with other companies so let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

I must say though that I truly enjoy NOT working for NRT anymore. They are jerks. But hey, live and learn and like the saying goes: "1 door closes and another one opens."

BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-03T20:01:00.012-04:00

So I feel that there is change in the air, and it's going to be change where two or at least one person gets hurt.

Ya see, I had one of my urges that I acted on impulsively and I do NOT know why but for some reason in ALL of my relationships, it always comes back to this one guy. He even told me before "Megan, how come it always comes back to us? We always stay in touch one way or the other and it always comes back to us. Why is this? I think someone up there wants us together."

And I think it could be true.

But I have a problem. I have a HARD time letting go. I have been very confused lately and so as impulsive as I am sometimes, well I called him. I called me ex.

He didn't answer . . .

THE FIRST TIME! After about 5 minutes of calling him and no one answering, I received a call back. But it only rang twice. So I called him back. No answer again. That's fine. Whatever. Maybe he realized it was MY number and hung up quick thinking "I surely don't want to talk to her." I mean it HAS been FIVE months since we last spoke!

About 5 minutes after thinking those thoughts, well my phone rang. I answered it and it was my ex's friend! He goes "Megan! It's been a LONG time since we've chatted! How have you been?"

I told him "Hi, I know! A long time! I have been good. You?" And then he goes "I have been good and Marcial (that's my ex) is in the bathroom and he will call you back after."

Then in the background I hear many Hispanic guys and white guys shouting "Oooh it's Megan," and "Hiiiiiii Megan." I even heard someone shout in Spanish "Marcial loves youuuuu!"

Sheesh. I was stunned. I didn't realize that EVERYONE at Marcial's workplace KNEW about ME! What a shocker!

So me and Marcial's friend hang up and about a 1/2 hour later Marcial calls me! I am surprised because I really did not think he would.

But he did. And we talked for a LONG time. I told him that I heard people in the background of his work shouting my name and that I was surprised about it. He told me "Oh yeah, they know about you. I talk about you."

Talks about ME? Wow. Stunned still lol.

So needless to stay, to make a long blog post shorter. . . . . After talking to Marcial, all the old times and REALLY good times we had came up. He told me that he always feels like something is missing in his life. Like there is a hole in his life. I feel the SAME way! It's really weird. He also told me that sometimes he is alone and cries a little and is sad because he feels really lonely. He told me his friends always tell him he is stupid for letting me go. :)

I know he still loves me and before talking to him, well I didn't think I had feelings for him still, but the truth is? Ugh, I do. And I also have some feelings for Cele as well. Am I "in love" with two people? I don't think so. If I were to weigh the Pros and Cons though, my ex is the better match. And yes, I know. "Megan, he's an ex and exes are exes for a reason."

Welllll technically, we didn't break up because he or I did something wrong. I moved with my parents to here. To Georgia. Marcial even brought up how we would STILL be together if he had not have been stupid and had come with us to Georgia. We invited him to live with us! But hey, ya live and learn right? And it's obvious he is kicking himself for it. Anyways, he told me "So Megan, how many kids do you think we would have right now?"

Okay, now onto poor Cele! :'( *sniffles*

OH GOD! The BIG NEWS. Something TOTALLY unexpected and I have NO idea what I am going to do! Let's just say that this is something that I had NOT planned on!

And no, I'm not having an hijo lol! (I know I scared you all before haha)

Lucia, you know Cele's woman back in Mexico? Welllll she finally has an idea that he is with someone else. Me.

They talked recently and she told him that she had a dream that he was with a gringa. He immediately told her "Oh yeah? Well, it's highly possible that that dream is really a reality."

OMG!

She goes "Why would you say something like that?" And he goes "Because you don't know how to love me."

As far as I know, those were the only words that were spoken between them. I asked if he cried, and he told me no. That he "felt great telling her."

But this is NOT what I planned! It FIGURES it has to happen this way. I realize that I am officially confused and thinking about my ex again and he goes and tells her THIS!

OMG. I don't want to hurt him. I feel like I am obligated to pursue this relationship now, because he could lose me and her.....I don't want him to be alone at the age of 37. I would feel like it was allll my fault.

So I still am just taking day by day. My ex wants me to come up there to NC. He told me "Just make plans, save money and come see me."

Then he informed me "When you come I am NOT letting you leave. You will have to stay here." LOL. We both laughed. He is so funny.

Ah heck, enough about both of them. I don't know WHAT I'm doing. Maybe I am just going to cool it with EVERYONE and be by myself for a bit. But HOW on earth can I break THAT to Cele? Poor, poor Cele! :(

Just A Bit of Awareness

2008-09-25T17:08:00.019-04:00

So here I am typing and working when my phone vibrates.

(305) area code appears and of course, with all the "wrong #s" I've received lately, I answer it, knowing quite well that it will most likely be another "wrong #".

And viola! It is. His name is Hector. But he tells me the truth, which is nice. He tells me that he got my # from Juan.

Ah! Good 'ol Juan Rivera. Ugh. I told him quickly "Well, my # is circulating quite a bit down there in Miami!"

I told him this in English and he goes "Miami, yes, Miami." I knew he had no idea what exactly I had just said in English, so I translated what I said into Spanish.

Then he goes "No, no. Only I have your #."

Really? "Then how did you get it?"

"Juan Rivera gave me your #," he says. "Well, then you are NOT the only one that has my #, then are you?"

Ha! Silencio. I love it. :) He knew I was right. So like I always do when I'm peeved, I went on and on.

I tell him "So, let me get this straight: Juan has my #. Rafa has my #. And now you, Hector, have my #. Wow. I bet many men down there in Miami are going to have my #. What do you want Hector?"

He told me "What's your name?"

"My name? You want to know my name? You should already know it."

He tells me "No, I don't know it. Juan just gave me your #, that's all."

"Well, Juan knows my name, you can ask him for it then!"

More of our convo:

Him: I saw your picture and let me tell you, you are a princess, a beautiful doll.
Me: Oh, why thank you very much. That's sweet.
Him: How old are you?
Me: 23.
Him: 23?
Me: Mhm.
Him: Where you live?
Me: In Georgia.
Him: I live in Miami.

(*Uhh duh, I already gathered that, thanks to Mr. Juan Rivera!*)

Him: Can you send me your picture and I send you mine?
Me: Umm I thought you already saw my picture?
Him: Yes, but I want one. And I'll send you mine.
Me: Sorry, I can't do that. I have a boyfriend.
Him: Aw, you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
Him: But we can be friends?
Me: Friends? What is up with this friends thing? No, we can't. My boyfriend is very jealous.
Him: He's really jealous? Where's he from?
Me: He is from Mexico.
Him: Ah, Mexico.
Me: Yup. And let me guess, you are from Guatemala?
Him: Yes.
Me: Mhm.
Him: Can't we be friends?
Me: I already told you, no we can't. I have a boyfriend. And it wouldn't be right.
Him: Just FRIENDS though.
Me: Listen, if I didn't have a boyfriend, then it would be different.
Him: Send me your picture then, please?
Me: I'm sorry, can't do that either.
Him: Okay, well take care.
Me: Thanks, you too.
Him: Bye.
Me: Bye.
Him: Bye.
Me: Bye.

So as I am thinking of my relationship with Cele, I think subconsciously I already know that it is not going to work out. And I don't believe it is because of him, well maybe, but I don't know.

You are going to laugh when I tell you this, but I have a small box where I have all the #s of what I like to call my "future prospects." I have even gone as far as thinking of calling up my ex-boyfriend, Marcial. Just to see what he is up to.

Is it for attention? No way. But when we last spoke, he told me something that I will never forget: "Megan, why is it that we never have lost touch? I mean something always brings us back together. Someone wants us to be together, Megan."

I'll never forget those words. I have always thought of Marcial as my "Jack." lol Think Titanic if you have NO idea what I mean!!!! ;D

But if I was so "stable" or sure about Cele, WHY would I think this? Only a relationship where I was sure, well I wouldn't be keeping #s of guys I don't know (besides my ex) for "future prospects" in a small box like that...UNLESS I subconsciously knew that it wasn't going to work out.

I have been thinking on whether I break up with Cele now or before he goes to Mexico or just keep on. Guess it's my fear of thinking "What if?" and not wanting to have that in the back of my head.

I have even had thoughts of repairing my relationship with the husband....yep, I've spoken to him lately, and it was NICE for a change of pace lol. We kept it civil and he still asked me if I was seeing Cele. Sure, I am, but who knows what will happen, I tell him. We didn't argue either, which was nice. But deep down I know I can't "reconcile" with him. I still feel our relationship will always be toxic b/c of the hurtful things that have happened between us. Trust would DEFINITELY be an issue.

I love Cele, I really do. But there are times lately where I just want to be ALONE. Away from everyone. There are times where I think "I need a man who doesn't have baggage."

There are EVEN times where I want to dig out this old # that I have from this fine sexy Latino, Luis, and call him up, just to see what he is up to. IF that # is still in service lol! Who knows! It has been like since 2003! So like 5 years?

There are ALSO times where I want to look up my first boyfriend. Felix Madero Medin. I'm SURE he is with someone, but he is the only ex that I truly respect. He is the only one that came back to apologize.

He had actually came that night to ask me to marry him. To get back with him and then we'd get married and have kids.

He also told me flat out that he needed papers. Well, hey he was honest. He could be back in Mexico for all I know though!

My mom says this relationship is heading no where either and that he is NOT going to leave Lucia. Man, does THAT hurt hearing those words. I could cry right now.

It hurts because I AM FUCKING TIRED OF MY MOM BEING RIGHT ALL THE GOSH DAMN TIME! WHY CAN'T I JUST FIND A MAN WHERE MY MOM IS NOT RIGHT ABOUT! JUST FOR ONCE?

Sorry for the language. I'm just SO depressed about this. Well, I think it has come to that time again. For an ultimatum lol! Gotta love those.

I'll give him enough time to tell her, IF he choose to, and it will be until January 1st 2009.

He has until THAT DATE to tell her. And if he doesn't, well then that means that he isn't sure about me and him nor abt leaving her. Sooo I figure Adios!

Another thing, re: his kids! He claims he doesn't want to lose his kids, well really? He LIED to me about those kids. He kept it a secret for SIX months and he doesn't want to lose 'em? If he can lie to me for 6 months about having NO KIDS, SURELY he can tell Lucia and his kids over the phone that he "plans" to stay with me, right? They surely don't mean THAT much to him or he would have came clean in the beginning!

So.......wish me luck with este tipo!

I'm Still Alive! LOL

2008-09-24T19:27:00.013-04:00

Just a quick update for everyone:

I'm alive and well. Still kickin' ROFL. :D

Things are going semi-okay. Lately, I have been feeling depressed and just, well having no motivation what-so-ever. :(

I do not know what is wrong with me. Feeling a TINY bit better today. Maybe because I got out of the house this morning. Before this morning, I have literally been "chained" (haha) to my home! I work at home, study at home, and hardly EVER get out of the house unless it is to see Cele, which is like 1-2 days a week!

Lately, him and I have been spending our time A-L-O-N-E on Sundays, which is really nice. I really enjoy spending time with him.

He notices a change in me too. One minute I'm happy, the next I have a "serious tone" as he likes to call it. My mom says I could be bi-polar and I say "No way."

I think it could be because 1 or 2 things (or both of 'em together):

#1: I NEVER get out of the house anymore. Like I said: Working and studying @ home almost 24/7.

#2: Cele's situation.

#3: Both of those mentioned above.

I try not to think about Cele's situation, but literally, there are times where I feel that I either want to end things with him and have him straighten his "shyt" (b/c that is EXACTLY what it is) out, or I want to continue the relationship w/ him and see what could possibly happen.

I am trying not to think black and white with this situation. I really am. I am trying to be what I have read, a "grey thinker." Ha! Easier said than done.

So I think that is why my moods are up one minute and down the next. I saw this commercial yesterday . . . three women were discussing how their moods have changed, they are more happier, etc. and it's all because of Sam-E Complete. Well, I am going to try it for 1 month and see how it affects me. 1 month couldn't hurt me, right?

Anyways, onto news about college. Doing really good in my classes. First paper I wrote I got an 88% and the second one? Ready for this?

98%!

Holla! LOL

Work is going good. I have another WAHJ in the works and I start training for the job next weekend. I get to finish up some assessments Friday through Sunday and then the BIG stuff starts. I am hoping all works out so EVENTUALLY it can work out where I can get my own place ;) OR get some money coming in! :)

AND I just received live feedback from my boss, she says I am doing a great job: My dials are up, my quotas are very good and I am following the script to a T. How lovely! I really love my job! :)

Well, that's all for now. OH! And Cele and his uncle will be moving out of his trailer SOON towards the end of this month and MAYBE (not sure yet!) I might start spending the night there on weekends, just to get a feel and see if Cele and I could possibly get along living together and whether I'd get sick of him or not HAHA! Hey! You never know! :)

Until then . . .

I'm Back!

2008-09-08T19:46:00.002-04:00

So . . .

Nothing happened with Hanna, thank God. :)

It bypassed us and was quite close but luckily and thankfully we just got rain and no thunder nor ANY type of storm at all. We were LUCKY!

As for Ike, poor people in LA. How sad. Muy triste and I wish them the best and I am praying that no one dies or is severely injured.

On another note, this new weight loss plan that I am on is working wonderfully. :) I am proud to say that I have already lost some weight and it has only been since Saturday since I started my new way of eating. (I haven't even worked out either.) Though I plan on doing that soon.

I am not posting how much I have lost YET though. After all, it is ONLY because my body is in shock & also b/c I am eating a lower amt. of calories as well as losing the water weight.

An update to me and Cele: We are doing SUPERB! I totally adore him STILL and realize, yes, he has his little flaws or whatever, but MOST of us do. He is a SWEETHEART and I know that he loves me. It is SO obvious with these little things that he has done. I won't share 'em here though (unless you ask me to and/or are curious) but they are a TAD bit personal, but in every single way A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E.

As for work with NRT, it's okay. I like it and I dislike it. Just like with any job. I did complete job training with another WAHJ and I did a voice test for ANOTHER WAHJ!

The 1st one if I pass the bilingual test, I can make up to $13 an hr! For the other one, it is on the phone but calling and scheduling interviews. I did that A LONG time ago so I've already got experience.

As for college! OMG I finished and turned in my FIRST writing assignment last Sunday. It was close to 700 words and my fingers are crossed that I pass it and do good on it -- since I am NOT the best writer.

I love all my classes though, well I only have TWO but they are awesome!

Life is sure good and it just seems to get better and better! I am losing weight, losing my debt, gaining my B.A. in my favorite subject, and have a great guy. <3

That's all for now. Just wanted to quickly update you all.

And uh Ojos Verdes? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BLOG? I miss reading your juicy love stories and updates about your life! :( Hope all is okay with todo!

And I hope all is okay with ALL of YOU! :D

I Think I Officially Need A Sign . . .

2008-09-04T19:00:00.000-04:00

(I posted this back in July...Looks like things never change!) :o/

*sigh*

Why do people enter my room when they KNOW that my hours for working are from 4pm until 9pm with an hour break if I choose, in between those hours?

I think I officially will be making a sign saying that I am working and please DO NOT come in and to call my cell phone (which is on vibrate for emergencias) if they need me and leave me a message.

Hmm.

What to do, what to do? Thank God I don't have children yet! My gosh! :/ *shrugs*

My Last Post Until After Hanna

2008-09-02T11:37:00.002-04:00

This will be quick since I am going to work in about 20 minutes.

As most of you know (I think) Hurricane Hanna has turned into a Tropical Storm once again but it's projected path is right towards us or near us.

I am very worried and my parents, Cele and I have been keeping track of its projected path and any new info that comes up.

We might be evacuating (minus Cele -- *cries*) tomorrow evening or Thursday. It is supposed to turn into a Category 2, which could put our home and island under water. We could lose everything.

This is just awful. Cele just called me up sounding so sad. I told him that we could lose everything and we might have to go to live in another state, like NY or somewhere b/c we would have NO WHERE to live.

He told me that me and my parents could come live with him and his uncle. I MIGHT take him up on it, depending on WHAT EXACTLY happens, BUT my parents wouldn't.

Cele started crying saying that as soon as we find out if we are evacuating or not, he wants to come see me to say good bye. He doesn't know what is going to happen between me and him and he started crying SO hard. Which then made ME start crying.

This is NOT fair. I am thinking many thoughts:

(here is a messed up translation in Spanish of que kiero hacer)

Que kiero hacer es . . . quedar con mi hombre. No kiero ir con mis padres, no kiero dejar mi hombre. Lo quiero y lo amo mucho mucho, con todo mi corazon.

Pero mi madre va enojar conmigo. Pero sé que toda va estar bien con mi madre y con mi padrastro. Ellos no necesitan preocupar por mi.

Solo sé que kiero quedar aqui con mi hombre. No importa que pasa.

Am I wrong to think and feel this way? What would YOU hacer en mi situacion? Cele is much safer where HE lives then where WE live.

Que piensas?

That's all for now! Must start work! Hey, and I started college yesterday. English Comp 101, it's hard but VERY interesting!

I love you ALL and please keep us ALL in your prayers!!!!!!

BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-31T23:34:00.005-04:00

Wow, so after the call on my cell last night, I didn't think much of it until today.

I think it has something to do with Lucia, as well as POSSIBLY those "wrong #s"

Someone is watching Cele quite closely and even he agrees.

I called up Cele and couldn't get a hold of him for a lot of rings until he picked up. I could tell he was crying.

What's up? I asked him.

He told me "Nothing." and I said "Cele, I KNOW you. Tell me."

So he tells me that he just got off the phone w/ Lucia and they argued A LOT. Problems back in Mexico. He would have just left it at that but you know good 'ol Megan, so I pryed him for more answers and didn't let up.

He told me Lucia knows. WHAT?! She knows WHAT?

She knows that Cele was at the dance club.

OMG. That was THREE months ago. In June. She JUST found out?

He told me he was crying because they yelled really bad and he cried b/c he was so angry. He asked how she knew and who told her. She would NOT give up the information.

So put 2 and 2 together: The phone call I get with a lot of questions and THEN Lucia finds out the next day.

Cele told me that Lucia's brothers live in Atlanta, GA. Guess where that phone number is from that called me yesterday? Ha! In Milleridge and guess where THAT place is located!?

Yup! Right outside Atlanta. Quite odd if you ask me.

I don't know but I have this feeling Lucia is going to find out A LOT more and soon find out that Cele is with me because like I told Cele: When you tell a lie, it ALWAYS comes out. It always finds a way to come out whether it is a day from now, week from now, month from now, years from now. And because Lucia KNOWS that he was at the club, well let's just say that I'm SURE she's going to have someone be watching him.

It will leak out soon that he's with another woman. Me. And when it does, I'm sorry but I AM THROWING THE PARTY OF THE CENTURY lol!

I KNOW that sounds terrible! But I've been WAITING for something like this to happen! It is TIME SHE KNOWS!!!!!

(And if ya ask me, I think the Heavens up there agree w/ MY beliefs and are workin' over time lol) :)

That's all for now! I start college tomorrow! Woohoo!

Everyone have a GREAT Labor Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. You know what's weird? Those guys from Miami have NOT called me at all after the last time I told them that I was with a guy, 37, and he's got a woman in Mexico w/ 3 kids and he says he wants to be with me and NOT her, but who knows what's gonna happen.

Rafa was calling me A LOT after I told him that and now the calls have stopped.

Weird.

I don't know . . . :/

I did receive ANOTHER call from Florida, Florida Keys actually. It was a Hispanic woman's name.

Think It MIGHT Be Break Up Time . . . Possibly

2008-08-30T21:41:00.028-04:00

Not really sure though.

I'm gonna make this a painless and quick blog entry, b/c I really don't feel like blogging.

I told Cele recently that my husband (the Catracho) well he called to update me about the Immigration process, but my mom talked to him, not me. And that's the truth. I did NOT talk with him by phone.

He asked me "Give me his # so I can call him up and tell him to stop calling my girlfriend."

Uh hello! He's NOT calling to get BACK with me! He is calling to update me about the Immigration process! After all, it DOES concern me since I signed all these papers (as well as my parents too) and invested ALLLL this moolah in it.

Well fast forward to this evening. He asks me again in person for the #. Uh uh. Nope. Not giving it. You give me the # to Lucia and then I'll give ya the # to my husband. LOL THAT sure as heck wasn't happening so he was SURE AS HECK NOT getting the Honduras #!

Fast forwarding a bit more, Cele is on the bus going to his house after spending time with me. I am in Kmart with my parents and immediately after hanging up with Cele, I get a phone call. I answer it. It's the area code for where I live so I call it back.

It's this Mexican-American guy, who AT FIRST I thought was Marcial. Remember him??? My ex who supposedly "wanted me back" but for a change in his life. I said "Who is this?"

He told me that his name was Arcter. What the hell? Excuse my language but what kind of name is that? NEVER heard of it!

So fast forwarding a bit more . . . He speaks English, no Spanish w/ this one and I ask "How did you get my #?"

The convo goes a bit like this:

Him: I saw you at that club, on 17.

*Thinking of how I went to Charlie's, it's a club, and it's on 17, which is Ogeechee*

Me: What club? What's the name of it?

Him: Umm, I don't remember what it was called.

Me: Charlie's? *Yes, I know. My mistake of giving the name up to him.*

Him: Yeah, I think that was it. Anyways, I saw you at the club that night and wanted to get to know you. I really liked you. So, I asked my friend for your number and who you were.

Me: What? Who is your friend? (Since he did have a Spanish broken accent, I said....) Well, the only one I know that would have this number is Jose Melquiades.

Him: I don't know no Jose Melquiades. I don't hang out with Mexicans, I only hang out with Americans. The guy who gave me your number is American. His name is Spat.

Me: Who? Spat? I don't know him. How does he know my number? Do you even know my name?

Him: Yes, it is Megan.

Me: Wow, I don't know who you are or how in the world you got my number. I don't even know a Spat.

Him: You don't know me, I got your number from my friend.

Him: So what's up? You got a boyfriend?

Me: Yes, I do. I am with someone.

Him: Aww, that's a shame. I wanted to take you out tonight.

Me: Well, I'm sorry. I've got a boyfriend.

Him: Oh. Hey you got a camera phone?

Me: Uh yeah.

Him: Send me your picture (*WHY would he want my pic if he "already knows" what I look like?*)

Me: Umm, no I'm not sending you my pic. That would be cheating on my boyfriend. Sorry, not doing that.

Him: Well when you break up with your boyfriend, give me a call. So save this number.

Me: Umm, I don't plan on breaking up with my boyfriend.

Him: Well, you don't know what's going to happen. Life changes.

Me: Yeah, that's true. But I'm not planning on breaking up with him.

Fast forward to when after the call ends and then Cele calls me and I ask if he is near his street (because he has gotten off at his bus stop and is walking home) and I start to say that name of the street and he goes "Charlie's?"

WHOA! What? I tell him "Charlie's? Why did you say that?"

He goes "That's the name of the street, isn't it?"

I say "No, it's Sh*** L****." He goes "Oh, okay. I forgot."

Fast forward to later LATER on where I call Cele up when I get home and then we hang up, my mom tells me that maybe Cele is the one who put this guy up to all this to see if I will be honest with him and tell him that some guy called me.

So I call up Cele again and tell him. I am VERY surprised to hear that he acts all calm about it and asks questions like "What did he tell you?" and "What did you tell him?" "How long did you talk with him?" etc. etc.

Cele tells me that he doesn't know the guy and that I need to change my number. Yeah, yeah. But it's hard b/c I LOVE my #. I mean it's my #. My own unique #. LOL

I really don't want to change it. If I get a "bad" call like the previous ones I've blogged about, I've got a Reject Call List and so far, I've got 3 on there. I can add as many as I want and IF they call me, their call is AUTOMATICALLY rejected and goes to voicemail. Whether they leave me a message is up to them, not me. :) I LOVE that feature and didn't even KNOW that I had it on my LG Shine! :D

So anyways, the fact that Cele is USUALLY very jealous and concerned (and I can hear it in his voice) when it comes to his jealousy, well THIS time he wasn't. Quite weird.

So I have come to the conclusion:

#1. Either it is him and he wanted to see if I would tell him and it's his way of "testing" me.

#2. He did this to make me change my # b/c his REAL motive is to NOT have my husband (The Catracho) call me anymore.

#3. It's Jose and he's up to his old tricks again. Messin' around with me. Pendejo.

#4. OR This is REAL and some white guy HAS my number and now this twurp has it and GOD KNOWS who else! (even people in Miami, ugh).

IF IT IS Cele. Well, the outcome will NOT be good. That will mean that he doesn't trust me and is a bit controlling in a way, and THAT-WILL-BE-IT.

Time shall tell, as with EVERYTHING else. :/

Another One!

2008-08-27T23:19:00.004-04:00

Okay, so I thought Juan called me up again....ya know? Wrong # Guy?

WRONG! We are talking and then he starts asking me questions that, ahem, Juan already knows! Turns out it is someone TOTALLY different that just sounds like Juan!

OMG.

He goes "Don't be mad, but my friend gave me your number."

I'm like "Who? Juan Rivera? He gave you my number?"

He's like "Umm, who is Juan Rivera?"

I tell him what happened and he goes, no a friend of my friend Carlos gave me your number.

What the hell? Who the heck is Carlos? (Yeah, yeah I know, hell and heck, what's the point in even writing heck right?) LOL

Turns out this guy's name is Rafa. Rafael Corio. And it's the truth b/c after talking with him I checked my caller I.D. and there was his name.

This guy is from Guatemala as well and is 21! Well, supposedly. I think he's lying b/c I asked him how old he was and he told me "Ahhh, you tell me first."

Ha! I told him I've already played THAT game once. You tell me first.

He told me "Ahhhh, I'm 21." And I lay right into him (stern but in a nice tone) "Well, how come it took you a second to think how old you are."

He laughed. I'm SURE this guy is in his 30s. Probably. Who knows? Maybe more? Maybe he is 21. But he's a Hispanic and NO OFFENSE but with ALL the experience I've got, ha! I know better to think that he is REALLY 21.

He goes "Aww 2 years less than you."

Ha! Too funny!

He also tells me that he's not married nor has a girl, but he does have 1 child with a woman. He asked me a suspicious question that not even Wrong # Guy knew, he goes "Well, you're married, right?"

I didn't know HOW to answer that question b/c HOW the HELL did he know that??? (Unless, my husband is messing with me and knows these guys....) Hmm.

Or maybe these guys know me and I don't know it yet? Whatever. I tell him my situation and then he says something weird like "Oh, well our situations are the same too!" He acted all excited that we supposedly had something in common. I asked him what he meant by that and he told me that we're "escondidos". What the HELL does that mean? I left the convo on that one and started a new one . . . needless to say I was too lazy to grab my diccionario, which was sitting right next to me. I only grab my dictionary if Cele needs help ;) LOL When I translate it now it means "hidden"? Whatever. Someone help me out please!

He also tells me that he thought I was Mexicana. He thought I was Mexican? Jeez, is my Spanish that good? I tell him "No. I'm an American." He goes "Oh, you're a Citizen." Yep. I'm a citizen. I wanted to say 'What's it to ya?' but I was nice, as I always am. LOL

He tells me "Well, that's good that you know Spanish then."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Soooo I guess my number is being circulated in Miami. Good to know ;)

P.S. This guy Rafael has called me about 100 times already. I hate to be mean but it just does NOT feel right talking with anyone while I am with Cele. Soooo I put him on my Reject list and deleted his # and info from my cell and other phone.

I also deleted Juan's pic. He's wasn't THAT cute. LOL

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ojos: I don't know WHERE La Gringa is. I think she started back up working at school though. So maybe she is all busy with that? I DID talk to her recently, about a week ago.

Wow! You've got some drama and "one thing after anothers" too! Ha ha! It IS fun! IF I was single :( There are days I'm happy with Cele and other days I want to "do my own thing" and be left the HELL alone! :D

I really don't know why I wrote ya back here lol. :)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Debbie: Hi! *waves* So I ended up doing what you said, but he's got baggage just like Cele. I'd MUCH RATHER stick w/ my Cele. This other guy, can't believe it! My # is going from hand to hand (or text to text, who KNOWS how they do it lol!) in Miami!!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

P.P.S. I was even thinking that maybe it's Daniel, ya know the Catracho I married?, havin' people he knows in Miami mess around with me....or MAYBE he wants to see if I will go for the green light w/ one of these guys to see how serious this relationship with me and Cele is? To see if he's got a chance w/ me still? WHO KNOWS!!!! (his aunt is there right now, actually) So kind of weird just outta the blue I start getting these calls.

Coincidence???

Wrong Number . . . One Final Last Time

2008-08-27T18:21:00.003-04:00

So he called me again. First time using his friend's phone, next time using his cell.

I was kind of rude to him (lol) and told him I had to begin work...while I was chatting w/ Juan, Cele was calling!

Talk about one thing after another ALL at the same time! Computer probs, have to print a new script for work, ran out of ink, had to borrow my mom's ink from HER printer, rebooted my computer, Wrong # Guy called me twice, and then Cele calls!

I did end up calling Juan back and apologizing for being rude. He asked me what I do for work, how much $ they pay me, and if I could send him a pic to his cell. I already sent it. He said he will send his.

Whatever.

He also has a woman back in Guatemala along with 2 kids. Nope, NO THANKS! Already dealing with THAT lol. I'm keepin Cele ha ha ha!

Hey, at least I know and at least he was up front with me about it.

Juan says we can be amigos. Isn't that what they ALL say and then they end up fallin' for ya the next day? Sheesh. :/

A Tragic and Sad Story

2008-08-26T13:25:00.003-04:00

Man dies after falling on knife

06:36 AM EDT on Monday, August 25, 2008
By NewsChannel 36 Staff
E-mail Us: NEWS@WCNC.com

CHARLOTTE, N.C.-- Charlotte homicide detectives are investigating what police are calling a tragic accident.

Officers were called to an apartment on Flagstaff Drive around 3:30 p.m. on Sunday for a reported stabbing.

Police say Miguel Angel Rivera Lemus of Charlotte was running errands with his common-law wife. They stopped at the apartment to pick something up, and accidentally locked their car keys and their two young children in the car.

Lemus went into the apartment and grabbed a butcher knife to try and pry open the car window. As he was going down the stairs out of the apartment, he fell on the knife, stabbing himself in the chest.

He was able to crawl back into the apartment and told his wife to call 911. Lemus was taken to Carolinas Medical Center where he later died.

http://www.wcnc.com/news/local/stories/wcnc-082408-sjf-knifedeath.bf17b4c.html

Final Review of the LG Shine

2008-08-24T12:18:00.004-04:00

Hey they entered me to win $1,000. So I did my review one last time.

(Should have just waited and posted this one for the final review of my LG Shine lol!)

*Note: You may have to click this to make it bigger in order to read it.

Wrong Number . . . Again?

2008-08-23T22:03:00.007-04:00

LOL This is too funny. So here I am with Cele and we're chillin' in my room talking and stuff. Suddenly I hear the phone ring.

I hear it ring again. And again. And again. Obviously it is someone that my mom or step dad do NOT want to talk to.

Or could the ringing phone just be on the movie my mom was watching at that time?

Nope! Guess who it was?

Juan. The "wrong #" guy. OMG. What's a chica to do?

Yes, I adore Cele but it's hard when there are a few cons (or whatever the word is) and I'm still SO young and this guy was nice and it was something new . . .

Oh God, this is terrible but I would like to call him and well, maybe get to know him. I mean maybe we could chat through email or something?

But then the "Good Megan" comes out and says 'Uh uh, Megan. You know what would happen. It always does. You will talk to him, end up giving your cell phone # to him and you will get caught, hurt Cele OR NOT get caught and you will be confused ALLLLL over again and it will NOT be good."

Then the "Bad Megan" says to me "C'mon, Megan. You are young and you are with this 37-year-old who has THREE kids and has this OTHER woman in Mexico and he's been with her for TWELVE years. Just call him up. It's NOT like you and Cele are really exclusive exclusive, because after all, he does have another woman back in Mexico. Just call this wrong # guy and see what's up. Live life!"

Oh God. What do you all think? I mean ya only live once. I can't help but wonder if there is something even better out there . . . w/ possibly less baggage? Oh, I DO love and adore Cele though. He's SUCH a sweetheart. And he adores me. It's obvious he does, to me, to my parents . . .

But I just find it ODD that out of ALL the #s this Juan, well his amigo called MY number and out of all the races out there, he's from Guatemala, he's from the race I prefer the most.

It's just SO weird. I would LOVE to find out his birthday just to see if Astrologically we click. lol

CALL ME LOCA AND WEIRD, I KNOW!!!!!

To call or NOT to call?

That is the question! :/ I'm NOT making a move until I get advice from ya'll though. My mom knows me best and SHE thinks I should call him. Because she thinks that it is weird and odd also that he ended up calling MY #. And he's EIGHT HOURS away from me so it's not like he'd be showing up at my door or anything like that.

Argh, what to do?! OMG Cele would F-L-I-P O-U-T! :/

UPDATE: What am I thinking? I'm here talkin' to Cele right now. I can't call this Juan guy. I won't. Ah, the little tests life gives ya, eh? I am going to PASS THIS ONE!! :)

A Wrong Number Turned Into Something A Bit More

2008-08-21T22:23:00.004-04:00

So as I was just hanging up with Cele this evening around 10pm, someone called our house phone.

My step father answered and no one on the other line said anything, so he hung up. They called back again and the same thing.

Well, I decided to call back this number and it rang about 10 times when someone finally answered it.

Me: "Umm, you called my phone?"
Guy: "Me speak Spanish. No English."

He was about to hang up when I said "Como?" to make sure he knew I spoke his language.

He tells me in Spanish that his friend had called the wrong number.

I say "Okay" and then he goes "But I can call you again if you'd like?" Oh my God, these Latin boys are charmers aren't they? :)

He goes (in Spanish of course) "Oh, you speak Spanish?"

Me: Yes.

We started talking and let me tell you this has NEVER happened to me before. He told me that his amigo was just messing around with his phone and was punching in all kinds of numbers. One of them was mine.

Lucky me! LOL :)

Anyways, the conversation progresses and we talk for about 15 minutes. Towards the end of the convo, his friend goes "Man, I can't believe I just dialed a wrong number and you are talking to her like you know her."

LOL It was too funny. Really made my night.

From what I know about him, his name is Juan. He is from Guatemala. I told him I had a boyfriend and he goes "Leave your Mexican boyfriend and be with me" and then we both laughed. It was crazy! lol

He is 30. Lives in Miami, Florida. I told him that I live in Georgia and he told me that he had never heard of it. I told him it's about 8 hours from Miami and he acts all disappointed and says "I'm too far to come see you then."

LOL!

He asks if he can send me his picture and if I have a webcam. So I'm sure he's got the computer thing down a bit.

He asked me if I was going to continue with my boyfriend and I told him "Yes, but if I don't have a boyfriend (if we don't work out) then I'll give you a call."

That's how it ended. He said "Okay! and he acted all excited lol. Too funny.

Well that really made my noche. That was the first time that had EVER happened! Quite fun! :)

Use The Stars To Get What YOU Want

2008-08-21T13:34:00.003-04:00

And no, I'm not talking about the celebrities, though that would be fun, wouldn't it?

Well, here's the article, thanks to SpiritNow.com!

Do you need more money? Are you looking for true love? Here is how to use the stars and astrology to get what you want.

The first thing you need to do is get an ephemeris or look one up online. These are basically just tables or charts that tell you what the positions of the planets are, but are very important in astrology. This is crucial because using the stars to get what you want is based very much on timing and the position of the planets as well.

Mostly, this is about learning when to act and when to not act. The first thing you need to be aware of is the position of the moon. When the moon is going from new to full is the best 14 day period during which to pursue anything that you possibly need to. When it's going from full to new, it is known as a dark moon. This is not the best time to manifest results, especially if you are trying to do it metaphysically.

The next astrology planet you want to watch is Mercury. When Mercury is retrograde for twenty or so days, as it regularly is three or four times a year, then this is not the time to act. During these periods, it is best for you to settle down and work on things in the background. It is not the time to pitch projects or go after a romance, as it is less likely to work out. Romances, job hunting, and apartment hunting tend to go much better when Mercury goes forwards.

The best time of year of you to manifest anything and accomplish what you need to do from an astrology standpoint is when the Sun is actually in your sign. This is the first thirty days after your birthday. This is the time to act, make proposals, and pitch things as the Sun is in your first house and you will be the focus of positive attention.

The worst time of year for you to manifest anything is in the thirty days before your birthday. Many people find themselves besought by setbacks and they feel less lucky and more tired. This is because the Sun is in your twelfth house of endings and trials.

Using astrology, the best time to try and get more love into your life is when Venus is in your sign. Focus on another aspect of your life if you see that Venus is retrograde. These retrograde periods occur about every one and a half years and are not conducive to relationships.

The best time to manifest money is when Jupiter or Mercury are in your sign. Mars is another planet that can help with finances. If you see these planets are in your sign, then that is the period of time in which you should look for a job, make pitches, or try to better your career.

Last Post Regarding Me And Cele . . .

2008-08-20T19:51:00.006-04:00

So, my Blogger friends! This is my last post that will talk about me and Cele.

I know what you are thinking "Good for you, Megan! You broke up with him! Ya kicked him to the curb! Etc.! Etc.!" :)

Au contraire.

You may call me "loca", "naive", or [fill in the blank], but this is my life after all, right? Exactly.

Though I have appreciated all the negative/positive feedback I have received lately.

So anyways, I am staying. With him. After having a LONG talk with my mother (who knows me best and who can feel certain vibes if someone is a good or bad person) and also a good friend of mine, well I can't make Cele tell Lucia over the phone, mainly because of his kids. I DO now believe that this is a type of thing to tell someone in person. And in a way, I kind of think he is right to do it all in person. Breaking up over the phone, text, email, or instant messaging...ANY form of electronic communication when it involves a breakup is just wrong. I wouldn't want to be broken up over the phone either, and especially if I had 3 kids by the guy.

And look at me, my poor husband who I broke up over the phone with. Well, all is said and done. Do I feel bad? Heck, each and every day I do. But I cannot change what has been said. I can only move forward. Plus, he knows I can't just jump on a plane go there. Besides, that would be $700 or more down the drain just to tell him 'it's over' and get back on the plane and fly back here. WASTE-OF-TIME. Though, I still feel REALLY bad. :(

Do I like this situation with Cele? Nope. Not one bit. But I am willing to make this relationship work. And please no negative feedback, as I will just delete it, because you can't tell me that you've ALWAYS left a negative-looking relationship and never looked back. You are either in one right now and you know it but continue to stay for your personal reasons OR you have been in one before. Either way, no one on this Earth, in this life, is perfect are they? And God forgives us in the end. :)

I know the majority of responses from most of you (not all) are to leave Cele. I've already made my decision and I told him that I am going to stick by his decision. Support his decision and believe his word.

And hey, it's not like MY life is clear from baggage. After all, I still have to finish this Immigration process AND get divorced! And I know that Cele would stick by me if the situations were reversed. I know he would.

Sure, he's lied. Three major lies, I know. I am intelligent to realize that. BUT people DO make mistakes and people DO lie for other reasons.

Cele did NOT lie to hurt me. He did NOT lie to do that, nope, don't believe it. He's a sweet and caring guy and I do believe that he loves me. No, scratch that. I KNOW that he loves me. I can feel it.

Do I know what is going to happen in our future together? No, no one does. Solamente Dios. This could after all, be another lesson for me to learn. If not, wonderful. If so, bring it on. I love a challenge and have learned SO much at SUCH a young age, but I wouldn't change ANY of it for nothing. I do not regret ANYTHING in my past. After all, at the time I wanted to do it anyways, right? :)

So for a while, you won't see any updates regarding me and Cele. I might post about him and I here and there, but for the most part I will be posting about things on my Soon-To-Be-Debt-Free blog and I will also be posting things on here about college (I start Sept 1st, woohoo!) and my job, etc. But nothing regarding me and Cele for a while, unless something DRAMATIC and quite interesting happens.

To wrap this up, Cele has already talked to his friends in Mexico and they are going to help him. Cele's plans are to go back to Mexico in the beginning of January for 2 months. During that time, he will be telling Lucia and his children his plans as well as breaking the news to his parents. I am not sure if I will be visiting him the second month, but we shall see. I do know that after he breaks the news to Lucia, the kids and his parents that I will finally be able to talk to his mom. That will be nice. But like I always say, time will tell with everything.

He is also going to take care of some other paperwork, the paperwork to the land he is buying and the house he would like to build. Right now he is paying on the land, but he is still not sure if he will build a house or something else. This is what he has told me, time shall tell . . . ;)

For now, with blog posts about me and Cele, it's the "Season Premiere". You know how they end your all time favorite show for the season? That is what this is. :)

Well, that's all for now. I appreciate any positive feedback (again, anything negative will be ignored). Please remember that as you post a comment, to be nice and understanding (lol) because you either have been or still are in a negative-seeming relationship.

Thanks! :)

Own A Blog? Want Free Speakers?

2008-08-19T22:35:00.007-04:00

See All Computer Speakers

You can click on the link below too!

http://www.myfreespeakers.com/

Pleasantly Surprised or Shockingly Splitting Up?

2008-08-19T19:36:00.003-04:00

I spoke with a client this evening, actually about 20 or 10 minutes ago.

I asked for her husband, Mr. Barnacles* and she told me that he wasn't there.

"May I ask who is calling?", she asked me.

I told her that I was with NRT Insurance, a part of Coldwell Banker and the reason for why I was calling: It was regarding homeowners insurance. Regarding the home that he is purchasing through us.

OMG the silence on the other end was awful.

I thought maybe she was taking notes or something, but then she said "This is his wife. I was not aware that he was purchasing a home."

Since I get these "wrong # calls" a lot lately, well I told her that maybe I had the wrong Mr. Barnacles*. She told me that he was the only one in that area.

Oh God. Did I just get myself into trouble here?

She asked me who I was again and I told her my name, etc. etc. all of my information.

I even asked her if she wanted to know the purchasing address, as I felt it was her right to know. I gave that to her and she told me "Oh I know exactly where that is."

She sounded like she was about to cry, and NOT happy tears, mind you.

So the question is: Did I just ruin a surprise or some sort? Or something much worse? Is he cheating on her and getting a condo ($250,000 mind you!) to screw around in or for a mistress of his?

Or are they splitting up and she had NO IDEA.

Either way I feel awful. But as they say, EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

I really am still hoping that I had the wrong Mr. Barnacles* but after speaking w/ my boss about this sticky situation, well, it looks like I don't :(

*Name changed for privacy.

Thinking Of Telling Him . . .

2008-08-18T16:31:00.006-04:00

. . . It is over.

I am really stressing over this. And I know I shouldn't, but I really didn't think that I cared about him this much. I mean, sure I had fallen for him. He's a sweetheart. But he's not MY sweetheart and I can't stand him having basically TWO NOVIAS (gfs)! It is just NOT right! :/

I am SO nauseous and of course I had a scare . . . you know what I'm talking about! :/ Gracias a Dios que no! That would have been quite something though, another stressful thing to add to my plate. Would have been my own fault though.

Hmph. >:/

I am very peeved about this (I'm trying to stop swearing lol. I feel if I swear, I'll just attract negative things into my life) Plus, I don't like swearing. I have been told it makes me look like a mean person, and ya know what? I'm sure it does :/

Anyways, I'm thinking of just telling Cele "Look, I love you so much and I really want to be with you. Yes, I still need a divorce like you told me on the phone today, but basically I still have already proved to you that I want to be with YOU and NOT ese tipo en Honduras...b/c HE KNOWS ABOUT YOU AND ME. It is obvious to me that you are not going to choose me, that you are going to stay with Lucia. It is obvious because IF you wanted to be with me at all, even just a little bit, you would have already told Lucia. So I really don't want to say this, but maybe it is better that we end this now instead of prolonging it any longer. I really do not feel good because of this. It is affecting my health waiting for you to make a decision when it is already obvious what your decision will be."

Whew.

I don't though. There are times I feel good about this and there are times where I just want out. Well, like they say "When the going gets rough, the rough get going"...something along those lines. Maybe I'm that kind of person?

It's only like 14 or 13 more days until he has to decide. Maybe I should just let him have his time to decide. I just want to get this done and over with though. The more we prolong it the worse I could feel, ESPECIALLY IF he ends up picking Lucía. *sigh* Asi es la vida. :/

What do you all think? Leave the ultimatum the way it is or try and feel him out to see if he could choose a BIT SOONER than the 1st?

But selfishly I really want to put ME first. I am suffering bad here. Having diarrhea (lol sorry if tmi, but ya'll are my readers lol and ya'll love me....right???) and I'm also have nausea REALLY REALLY bad. I didn't think this would affect me THAT much.

I must be really crazy over him. I can eat though and I CAN sleep, no it's not like that "can't eat, can't sleep" ordeal. Uh uh, gotta eat and I gotta sleep!

But this is REALLY stressing me out. I don't want to wait until the 1st. I want to know the decision now and if he chooses her, we part ways and I can concentrate on getting ready for college. (I've got school shopping to do! Yay!) :)

BUT IF he chooses me, then he can call her, tell her and I can be there for him, he can cry on my shoulder, etc. and I can STILL get ready for college and do my shopping.

What do you all think? Leave it the way it is and learn to be PATIENT? Or tell him how I am feeling, how this is affecting me and mention us parting ways now?

Introducing . . .

2008-08-17T15:47:00.000-04:00

The NEW LG Shine!

(I keep forgetting to post this blog!)

I received my LG Shine about 2 weeks ago. Totally smitten with it, it's awesome! Here are the pics that I took that day of receiving the box from FedEx:

Well, the fotos REALLY don't do this cell phone justice! It looks SO much better in person, but well, you'll have to see it for yourself . . . and you will . . . that is, IF you decide to buy one lol! ;)

It's a good buy and I'm really glad that I researched it as thoroughly as I did.

Here is a little bit of what I think of this cell phone:

PROS
-It's a nifty-looking phone, quite pretty. The name matches it well, b/c it really does shine.
-Doesn't scratch up that much.
-The back of it is made of stainless steel.
-Feels very sturdy.
-I can hear really good on it.
-I have NOT had a dropped call since I switched from the Motorola RAZR V3i to the LG Shine.
-It has awesome features (some of my favorites: Notepad, Tip Calculator, Tasks, Calendar)
-The keypad automatically locks when you close the phone after 30 seconds or less. (you have the option of having it not lock though).
-It's also a mirror! (when the screen goes dark) LOL ;)
-I received it for FREE w/ just $9.99 shipping/handling!
-The camera takes good pics in bright daylight and as well close up.
-You can change the font color on your phone (when dialing) and you can also change the background to applications (I'm NOT talking about the wallpapers either).

CONS
-Have to charge it every night or the battery gets low quite quickly!
-Not a very good selection of ringtones.
-Has a joystick button that sometimes clicks on the thing I didn't want.
-Not the best wallpapers.
-The wall charger seems a bit plastic and fragile-like; my Motorola charger was more durable.
-Camera is NOT the best when taking fotos in dark places. It has a flash but to me it doesn't work that well....might have to read up on it a bit lol. (I NEVER read my manual I just "dive in" and start playin' around w/ my phone until I get accustomed to it!)

RATING from 1-5 STARS (1 being poor choice and 5 being awesome choice)

****

WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT?

Yes! But check it out first! A cell phone like this MAY be great for me, but may NOT be great for you!

It's a good buy and I really like it. My FAVORITE thing about it is it has the Notepad feature where I can write down a grocery list, etc. and then there is a Tasks feature where I can put certain things that NEED to be done that have a deadline and I can put a certain task at a certain type of level of importance.

Overall, great buy! :D

The Countdown Is On!

2008-08-17T00:30:00.003-04:00

That's right! You read it correctly! Cele just left my house. We've been talking ALLLL day and crying, laughing at the crazy things we usually do, talking some more, hugging each other tightly and crying some more.

It has been one heck of a day, evening, night and early morning!

He is MOSTLY worried about him telling Lucia over the phone and having her take off with the kids and Cele never see them again.

He really wants to tell Lucia when he goes to Mexico so he will be able to tell his kids face to face as well and KNOW exactly where they will be.

It makes sense. But Cele doesn't want to lose me either.

He has until September 1st 2008 to tell me his decision. I asked if he needed more time and he told me "Of course I do." Well, nothing more was said on that b/c I told him he can think all he wants to from now until Sept 1st and that is PLENTY enough time.

I told him that I do NOT want it to be this way, but I HAVE to do this, to protect my heart. He told me that he doesn't deserve to have two women, especially not a wonderful woman like me. He told me that I don't deserve to suffer. THAT got me crying and then he cried too, b/c he is RIGHT I don't deserve this. But like I told him, I believe in giving people chances. (But not TOO many lol!)

So check out the countdown I put on my blog. The countdown is ON!!!

Let's pray and cross our fingers that Cele will make the right decision! :) I told him regardless of his decision, I want him to be happy. He told me "Really?" and I told him "Of course I want you to be with me, but regardless b/c I love and care about you, I just want you to be happy. And IF you are MORE happier w/ Lucia, then what can I do? Nada."

He then cried again lol and hugged me really hard.

From everything that we talked about today, this evening, tonight and early this morning, well I think he MAY choose the decision I am crossing my fingers for. It was weird. This evening we were sitting on my floor and I told him "Te amo" which means "I love you" in Spanish and then I couldn't help it and tears just started coming down my cheeks, right when those words came out of my mouth.

I was questioning it before if I really TRULY love him, and I do. I believe that I HAVE fallen for him.

We shall see what happens, as I always say :)

OH -- I DID mention going to Mexico w/ him too and staying in a hotel while he says what he's gotta say to Lucia, the kids and his parents. He had NO problem w/ it either. He didn't try changing the subject or said 'no' either. He basically agreed, which made me feel that he isn't hiding anything else.

(I'd rather have him just tell her over the phone though about me and him and get it done and over with. I gave him QUITE A FEW scenarios and you could really tell that what I told him he was really listening to and will take those scenarios into consideration. :) )

Thanks to ToniVC for the above pic!

What Are You Doing?

2008-08-15T20:01:00.004-04:00

You can come check out what I am doing on Twitter!

I don't know if any of you have heard of it. It is NOT a chat application but kind of like a diary, but not so diary-like either.

Just tell Twitter what you are doing, then follow your friends and see what they are doing and IF you'd like, you can do this from your computer or your cell phone! It's completely up to you! :)

Follow me on Twitter! My name is Megita85. See you there!

*waves*

My Heart Is Torn. What Is Best For This Situation?

2008-08-15T17:18:00.021-04:00

I've received MANY opinions over the past couple of days of how to handle this "Shyt or Get Off The Pot" situation with Cele.

My heart is torn in both ways.

Here, let me explain to you how I feel . . .

Here's a little bit of background on Cele and this Lucía in México:

He's been with her for 12 years. He has 3 kids with her, ages 12, 9 and 7, names are Luis Miguel, Giovanni, and . . . won't ya believe it I forgot his other son's name. How terrible am I? Well, I am under lots of stress, so I will think of it. So I called him up to ask him (how embarrassing) and he told me and laughed. It's Ivan. Hey, I work with LOTS of different names, so how am I supposed to remember? LOL

Anyways, I'm off topic now. Let's go back to the beginning.

He's been with Lucía for 12 years. Has 3 kids with her. That's a long time to be with someone. He has told me many things about their relationship. Do I believe them? I don't know. His track record is not that good w/ the lying, eh?

So this is what he has told me: She doesn't love him. She doesn't know how to love him the way he wants to be loved. They argue over every little thing even if it has no importance in the relationship. Whenever she talks with him she only asks two questions: Is he still working? And has he drank beer on that specific day? She has never said "I love you", "I miss you", and has never shown him any affection. The day he left to come to the U.S. she wasn't even there. She didn't even say goodbye to him. When he returned she didn't even greet him with a kiss or hug. She didn't even say she missed him.

Again, do I believe all this? Well, not sure really. As I said before, his track record w/ lying has not been the best. But like all situations have their pessimistic sides, some have their optimistic sides as well, and this my Blogger amigos/as could be one of them. :)

So I have been doing a lot of thinking. Trying not to let "love blind me" as they always say that it tends to do. I found myself thinking of letting Cele just continue on with his plan of telling Lucía about me and him when he goes to Mexico. Of course, while thinking those thoughts I was doing the dishes and thinking lovey dovey thoughts of me and him. I had to brush those thoughts away for the time being and concentrate on really, what is best for ME and for him. As MUCH as I really want to just think of me, me, and ME, well I can't be selfish; Cele has had 12 years with this woman and has 3 kids with her. I am really in no place to step up and say "You've got to do this and you can't do it this way." That to me just doesn't seem right.

But then again, I do have to stand my ground with this.

See how I am torn?

#1. Should he call her up and tell her and get it all out in the open?

#2. Or does he go to Mexico (in a year or a bit less) and tell her, his kids, and his parents altogether...his original plan?

I think that there MAY (not sure YET) be a solution to this problem that will help him and help myself get "our own ways" so-to-speak.

Someone actually suggested it on Yahoo! Answers.

Basically they said . . . and let me know what you think please:

"I mention to Cele that we can do it "his way" and that I understand that he's had 12 years with her with 3 kids and that I wouldn't want someone that I've been with for 12 years and had 3 kids with to break up with me on the phone. It is a bit disrespectful. So I think I have a solution, Cele. Let's save up money together so we can get you back to Mexico ASAP to get this done and over with and I will go with you. I will stay in a hotel (and he'd be right there with me of course too) while you do what you have to do/say what you have to say to Lucía, your kids and your parents. Then I would make my presence and meet your parents and kids."

Cele says that he would be staying 2 months. I wouldn't be able to do that and wouldn't want to. I just would like to make my presence known, you know what I mean?

So what do you think? I traveled to Honduras alone and that is MUCH farther than traveling to México. And another thing -- I would make sure to get phogne numbers and addresses of where he is living in Mexico, so I KNOW FOR SURE he's not gonna go to Mexico and then never contact me again. (I'd make sure the #s were legit and real too b/c BEFORE HE WENT back to Mx, I'd have him personally make a phone call enfrente de mi to see if he could communicate w/ someone over there.)

Sooo what do you all think? Maybe I should do a poll for ya'll to take? LOL :D

The Best Decision

You've read this blog post, now give me your opinion! What is the BEST decision for BOTH me and Cele? Put yourselves in my shoes AS WELL AS his!

What's the BEST decision for BOTH me and Cele?

Create your own myspace poll

Another Blog For My Readers!

2008-08-14T21:37:00.002-04:00

This will be a quick blog post. Just letting you all know that I have a new blog up!

Check it out if you'd like!

CLICK HERE TO READ MY LATEST POST NOW!

Either Shyt Or Get Off The Pot

2008-08-13T19:56:00.015-04:00

Okay, so I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Well, here goes:

I told Cele tonight that I don't think it is fair to me nor to Lucía (his woman in Mexico), that she does not know about me and him.

I told him flat out...well here's out our convo went. We just hung up. (Before telling him all this I prayed to God to give me the strength to find the right words to tell Cele)

Cele: "How are you feeling? Are you feeling any better?"
Me: "A little better, more or less."
Cele: "Why?"
Me: *Being a chicken* "I don't know."
Me: *Not being a chicken anymore and telling him exactly how I feel* "There are a lot of things going through my head right now."
Cele: "Like what?"
Me: "Things about us."
Cele: *His voice gets serious and sounds kind of worried* "Things about us? What kinds of things?"
Me: "Well, I just don't think it is fair to me that my husband knows about you and me and that your woman in Mexico, Lucía, does not know about you and me. I don't think it is fair to me nor to her."
Cele: "Uh huh."
Me: "You need to tell her. Ese tipo en Honduras already knows about you and me, I told him the second month we were together. He knows that I don't want to be with him. He knows that I want to be with you. But Lucía knows nada about us. She still thinks that you want to be with her and that you are only with her."
Cele: "But I already told you that I am going to tell her when I go to Mexico. I need to do it in person."
Me: "Why?"
Cele: "Because."
Me: "But why? I told my husband about you over the phone. It is going to take you a LOT of money to save up to go back to Mexico, you know it is. You won't be going back for a year or so!"
Cele: But you told me that you'd wait for me those two months that I will be gone."
Me: "Yes, and when you go, of course I will wait for you. BUT you need to tell Lucía about us and not wait a year or more to do it. You need to tell her now."
Cele: "Maybe what you are really saying is that you don't want to continue our relationship? You don't want to be with me anymore?"
Me: "I never said that. I do want to continue this relationship with you and I do still want to be with you. But you need to tell her. She still thinks that you are with her and only her. But really you are with me and her! You have two girlfriends!"
Cele: "Yes, you are right."
Me: "Yeah, and I think it is better if you tell her now than tell her much later on (like a year or so or more) and make her think that you are with her and only her. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to her."
Cele: "This is all my fault."
Me: "What is your fault?"
Cele: "It's all my fault that I fell in love with you."
Me: "It's not your fault. It just happened."
Cele: *silence*
Me: "For example, what if my husband didn't know about you and me? What if I was talking to him almost every day and he still thought we were together? I don't think you would like that very much, would you?"
Cele: "No, I wouldn't. You are right."
Me: "And what if for an example I get pregnant? That is just another thing to worry about!"
Me: "Or maybe you aren't going to tell her because you aren't sure yet if you really want to be with me or not?"
Cele: "I already told you. I want to be with you and stay with you. I already told you that she doesn't love me."
Me: "Welllll, then IF she doesn't love you like you say she doesn't, well then it should be NO problem telling her that you want to be with me."
*silence between the both of us*
Cele: "So what do you think?"
Me: "I think that you need to tell her."

There is a bunch of silence and I hear him crying and I'm crying a little bit and then he asks if I am mad. He always asks that. I told him "No" just that he needs to tell her.

More silence and then I hear him rummaging through some things, have NO idea what. And then there are a few sighs and more silence. Then he tells me:

Cele: "Can you call me later?"
Me: "Yeah."
Cele: "Adios."
Me: "Adios."

Click.

That was the end of our convo. So Blogger buddies, whatcha think? Think he'll tell her? I don't think he will. ¿Quien really sabe?

All I know is that I ALSO told him that if he loves me and adores me like he says he does, that he will tell her. There should be no problem.

Cute T-Shirts

2008-08-11T14:04:00.009-04:00

www.snorgtees.com

Another Secret

2008-08-11T10:46:00.007-04:00

My mom already knows about this secret. It is about...

Well, who else?

Cele!

I don't know if it should be bad or not. Anyways, my mom was a little peeved I think, but either way she supports my decision to stay with Cele or not. (More on that later in this post)

I'm just going to get right to the secret and not leave ya hanging or with lots of spaces in between like I usually like to do...

Here goes!

Cele is NOT 35. I've kept this from my Blogger amigas for too long. Yes, Cele told me that he was 35. But I found out the TRUTH when I saw his I.D. that day I found about the other woman and his 3 kids.

He's 37. Yeah, I know, I know. Here comes (maybe) all the negative remarks. That's FOURTEEN years between us. I've already done the math and I've also thought about IF we decide (or should I say if I decide to pursue this even further) well, our children would be YOUNG and he'd be really old.

It's a BIG decision and a decision that I truly DO NOT know if I'm ready for. I don't know if I'm ready to settle down . . . *sigh* again.

I adore Cele either way and we truly can't keep our hands off each other. We are always kissing (or even "stealing kisses", as they say), hugging, holding hands and/or having his arm around me.

And, hey. I'm NOT complaining. I wanted that for SO long between me and Daniel, but he told me that he "wasn't brought up that way". Well, I SO feel bad for the next woman who actually stays long like I did, keeps taking him back or even marries him. He told me that he is only marrying me. He will NEVER marry again. Well, good for him. I don't think there is any woman out there who is nice and give, give, giving like me and who will put up with his shyt. I STILL can't believe that I put up with it.

Well, we live and learn right?

Cele asked to see pics of him, well asked me if I had any pics of him. I kind of fibbed to him and said that I do have pics but it is on a site that I "pay" for and I cannot "delete" them. I think he bought it since he doesn't know that much about computers lol. Gosh, I feel bad for lying but what am I going to tell him? That I am not ready to get rid of my pics yet of Daniel?

Gosh, that would sound terrible!

I am all confused. My mom says IF I was on my own, had my own car and was financially ready, well maybe I'd feel fine settling down with Cele.

It could be that. After all, mom knows best. But I feel it is something more. Perhaps how old he is?

I mean, I adore him, I do, it's just...I guess I am afraid. Bottom line: I am afraid. There are SO many guys out there, it's like "Yes, I am happy with Cele and I enjoy spending time with him...but is there something even better out there?"

I guess you could say that when I chose to "settle down" with Daniel, well, I really settled. That's for sure. I thought that Daniel would and could be the only guy who would love me. It wasn't love. It was comfort and a little bit of control. He MIGHT have loved me and yes, I loved him, but overall we were just comfortable with each other.

I think I stayed with him for so long because, well he knew all my flaws and he knew me inside and out. But there is ONE BIG thing he did NOT know: He did NOT know how to treat me. No WONDER I was such a b*tch to him, I mean WHY would I be all nicey nice when I was getting absolutely NADA in return?

Okay, enough. What I REALLY want to do is start divorce proceedings NOW and NOT wait for the answer for this waiver. But I feel bad b/c Daniel is counting on having a good life. I guess I will just wait until we hear a "Yes" or "No" with this waiver thing. If it's "No", well NOT my problem and even though I DID say that I would do an appeal and write a new letter....NO WAY, uh uh, no appeal letter.

Gosh, I'm tearing up now, I don't know WHY I am feeling this way. I just got off the phone with Cele, he always calls me after his lunch to tell me how it went (or I call him sometimes before his lunch to say "Buen provecho")

I really, REALLY like him. Nah, it's more that just like. I adore him! <3 I just, well we've been talking a LOT lately and he's been saying he is going to be going to Mexico and is going to tell Lucía (his woman or ex, or whatever), his children and his parents about me and that he no longer wants to be with Lucía and that he wants to be with me.

It's like...I don't know, I guess I feel that he is going to leave this 33-year-old woman, his 3 kids and his parents like I don't know, behind. Not really his kids or parents though. I know he will continue to support them and see them when he can as well as his parents. But for him to just give it all up for me, I mean I'm 23. I just don't -- maybe I feel guilty? :/

I try not to think long-term thoughts with Cele but it's hard when wherever we go if he sees a woman who is pregnant he gives me a look and then says something like "Someday we'll have children".

Maybe I feel this way too because I'm going to be starting college again and really NOT financially ready for anything? Could that be it?

I don't know! Input please!

I keep telling Cele that being 12 years with the same woman, well he's got a history with her and I told him that I know he is probably accustomed to her. I asked him "Why didn't you leave her if you weren't happy with her? Don't tell me it is JUST for the kids, it's MORE than THAT."

He told me that there was never anyone else. Then he met me, fell for me and is very happy with me. The happiest he has EVER been in his life with anyone and he wants to be with me. He wants his future to have me in it. That she doesn't know how to love him the way he wants to be loved, but I do.

That's A LOT to handle though, don't you think?

I can feel it now, my inbox could possibly be LOADED with comments soon! LOL :)

Free Magazines?

2008-08-10T21:16:00.003-04:00

Yup! It is true! I just earned enough credits to get a FREE 1-year subscription to my favorite magazine!

Check it out!

Watch videos, earn credits, and get as many FREE 1-year subscriptions as you wish! :)

To Work At Home or To Work Outside The Home?

2008-08-06T18:10:00.016-04:00

That is the question.

I have a possible other job opportunity that is still available. I am not sure what to do.

I need your help Blogger friends! :)

I don't know if I mentioned this a while back, but before I "thought" I had "broken" my toe there was this job right on Cele's street that had a job opening and I received a call almost and they told me that I would be the "perfect fit". I scheduled an interview and viola! I ran to get my cell phone the day before and thought I broke my toe. I called and told them I had to cancel because I broke my toe. She said "Feel better and call us when you are back up on your feet."

Well, I checked the ads today on the Staffing website and OMG the position has been posted again. Hmm. Should I go for it? Shall we weigh the Pros and Cons with this Work At Home Job I currently have with this Work Outside The Home Job that I am thinking about?

Okay, let's weigh them then! :)

Let's call my current job, with NRT Insurance, #1 and let's call the possible outside job #2.

PROS for #1:
-I get to sleep in, catch up with household chores, etc. that need to be done before starting my shift.
-I don't have to worry about gas money
-It is $12 an hour!
-Many people would LOVE to find a legit work-at-home job.
-Weekly pay.
-I could study in the day, then work in the evening.

CONS for #1:
-I only work from 4-9 with an hour break in between that is not paid for.
-The work is monotonous: I have a script that I must stick by and can't really change it up. Have to stick to it word by word and I am talking about the same thing all the time: Homeowners insurance.
-This job is okay, sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't.

PROS for #2:
-It is near Cele's house and I'd get to see him just about everyday or even everyday.
-The pay goes up to $10 (I'm sure that's based on experience)
-I know how to take the bus now lol!
-More hours than I have now and I assume my check would be a lot MORE!
-I'd get paid every week, since it would be through a temp agency.
-IF my parents ended up moving and I didn't want to go, I could live with Cele and I'd already have a job that I could walk to! :)
-I'd be doing data entry, my passion!

CONS for #2:
-The lowest the pay is, is $8 an hour.
-Taking the bus and maybe having to pay my mom for gas money (she said she'd bring me there personally OR take me to the city to catch the bus from there to work)
-What if I got sick of Cele? LOL I mean is that even possible though?
-I would have to study at night because I would work in the day.

Can't really think of anymore Pros or Cons for either one. If you've got any, pass 'em on here in a comment!

Oh--And you do know why I have a pic of Shakespeare on this post right? If not, read William Shakespeare's Hamlet, Prince of Denmark.

To The People Happy For Me:

2008-08-05T12:56:00.003-04:00

I just want to say thanks. Yes, OV: I know that money is not considered "free". I might just give it back, not sure yet. But I need to start somewhere will saving lol!

We shall see, as I always say.

But to the people that are supportive and happy for me: Cele, my step dad Joe, OV, El Sueño, Lisita (I'm sure I'll see a comment soon!) and all my other Blogger amigas, well thank you!

It means a lot.

My mother just called me back and I told her the great news and that I was registered for all my classes. She didn't even sound the least bit thrilled. I know she might not be feeling well and I know she might hate her job, but you know what? She could have even faked being happy for me! I am really kind of sad now. I feel like maybe what I am pursuing is disappointing her. I know it sounds stupid, but that's how I am feeling.

It just is unbelievable that Cele, who I have known a little over 6 months acted MORE happy for me than my own mother, who gave birth to me. And my step dad, who I really don't get along with ALL the time and who is NOT even my biological father, he was happy for me too.

I just am really surprised with my mother's reaction. :(

I don't believe I said anything wrong to her. Maybe I did and I don't know it? I just don't understand it. If I had a child I would have been saying "OMG that's wonderful!" or even something like "How exciting!"

She's still a wonderful mother and I wouldn't change my choice of a mother for anything, but her reaction to it all really surprised me. :(

UPDATE: My mom called me and well the reason she was the way she was is because she hates her job.

She wants to move to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina! I don't know WHAT I'm going to do NOW. She is NOT talking like in a year, she's talking like RIGHT ALONG. OMG I'm SO sad right now and I'm in tears! What am I going to do? Cele and I would break up. :'o(

As much as I hate Georgia and Savannah at times (okay, fine! A LOT of the times b/c the gente are just rude and slow) well. . ..

I don't want to leave.

I can't leave.

I WON'T LEAVE without my Cele! :'o(

(so either HE comes with us OR I stay with him)

Money and College

2008-08-05T10:34:00.004-04:00

Whew! Just got off the phone with my college and I will be registering this week for my classes and will be starting September! Woohoo!

And guess how much financial aid awarded me? OMG $14,000! And get this: In March and June of next year, I will receive the remaining, which is....

$7,000!

OMG. Too much money. What will I do with it all? :)

I have a few ideas. The first idea is a responsible one:

#1. I will save it and apply for financial aid again next year (b/c you have to apply each year) and then I will wait and see what my award letter says. IF I have enough (once again) to pay for another year of college, awesome! I'll use some of the $7,000 for my books (unless I have other cash that I can use, and if so....then idea #2 . . .)

#2. I'm throwing that $7,000 in the bank and saving it and still taking out $100 each month to put towards it. I'm starting to save money NOW. I think that's the SMART idea to do instead of blowing it all on something that I will only have memories of. Why not be ahead of myself?

Then eventually maybe I can get myself a car OR my own place. I'd like to save for my own place, actually. But time will tell what will happen to that money I get.

I might just have to give it to my college if I don't get enough money in my next award letter. Which is fine. Still leaves me with $1,000 or $2,000. Hey, it's still money to save! But $7,000 would be great. :)

Whatever happens, happens though.

So I start college in September. My first classes are English Comp 101 and Living in Information Age, quite interesting lol.

Overall, I'm quite happy :)

It's A Good Day!

2008-08-01T14:19:00.004-04:00

I start work soon and I kind of am happy about that.

Yesterday I think I was just SO tired because in the morning Cele will call me like close to every HOUR until I get up lol. (Guess I'll never tell him that I'm worried about sleeping in late, haha, he took that too seriously!)

So anyways, I awoke this morning and checked my bank account. Woohoo! Money in there from my new job! I like my job now lol! I think I just had to see the money in the account to want to continue working!

Sooo with that announcement here's a few more:

1. I called AT&T and made sure that I was eligible for my upgrade, told them my plans regarding the LG Shine (El Sueño: Yup! I've decided to get it!) and I told them that I'm paying the rest of my late bill as we speak. I paid it and they told me as soon as I paid it it would come up automatically as paid and everything would be great. I clicked that "Pay" button and it WAS automatic as she told me "Yup! It now says you are eligible for an upgrade!"

YAY! So I quickly called up Wirefly and went through this LONG process lol to get my FREE (yes, I SAID FREE! Just $9.99 for shipping!) LG Shine!

Right now my order is undergoing Quality Assurance. I suppose that means they are testing the equipment and making sure it works good? Awesome.

I think AT&T already approved me too. Gosh, I love that word: APPROVED. Feels good.

UPDATE: The LG Shine is officially on its way! Woohoo! :D

#2. The book I recently got to order that I've wanted for like E-V-E-R came today! What a surprise since it was scheduled to come tomorrow! Woohoo! How excited and ecstatic I am to finally be able to read it! It looked SO interesting and NOW it's in my hands lol!

#3. Cele and I still don't know if it's true or NOT, but something has possibly developed between us.

Are you ready?

You're NOT going to believe this!

I'm telling ya!

Ready?

*Deep breath*

I just wanted to freak ya'll out...who KNOWS what you'd be thinking ja ja ja. Cele received a phone call today as well as text message saying his phone number was chosen and has won $1000. He was ALL excited and says "If it's true, I'm giving you 1/2." How nice!

Do I believe it? I'm kind of leery because who KNOWS how they got his #. I am HOPING it IS true though. I can put that money towards my car I'd like to get...or just put the money in savings for emergencias.

We shall see tomorrow what comes of that.

Well that's all for now! I've got to go lavar los trastes. Cele taught me that. I always used to say lavar los platos but he told me since I am not just washing plates that it is correct to say los trastes. Hmm, who would have thought?

Ciao! :)

Employment Crossing

2008-07-31T22:54:00.002-04:00

It has the most jobs everywhere!

It's a really nice site. Of course, you do need to sign up for a free trial, but I liked it!

If you are looking for that perfect position that suits you, and you want to look in other locations like if you are moving or even just curious -- this is the site for you.

Unlike searching on many sites all at once, you just need Employment Crossing. The jobs on here are always current and there are constant newsletters and updates.

Try it! Tomorrow could be the first day of the beginning of a new, exciting and rewarding career. :)

Upgrading . . .

2008-07-31T16:22:00.009-04:00

You know that weird and kind of obnoxious commercial where the woman's voice is saying "Upgrade!" in regards to every little thing but yet it is just about Tampons LOL?

Well . . . that's what I have going through my head as I write this blog post regarding my little "upgrade". :D

This coming week I should be getting paid quite well I'm hoping and I've talked with my phone company and well, I qualify for an upgrade for a new phone.

And at a great time! I have dropped my phone many times and now I can't turn it completely off. IF I do, well, it won't come back on or I'll have to keep taking the battery out, blowing on the back of it, putting it back in and so on . . . UNTIL my cell wants to come back on! It's QUITE the pain in the culito! :/

So what new cell phone will I upgrade to? I've had my eye on this phone and am pretty sure I'm going to settle on it, but still, there are many phones out there . . . although, I can get this phone for free. That's mainly why I want it. I just have to pay like $10 for the shipping costs. NOT a bad deal. Oh -- And sign up with AT&T for another 2 years. Hmm.

OR I COULD just wait until November and get Verizon? BUT I did just sign up for 2 years with Cele's plan (the family plan) so not sure I can do that. I like AT&T though.

Choices upon choices, huh? :)

So I would like to go from this:

To this:

That's right! A RAZR-V3i to an LG Shine!

On another note, ONLY ONE HOUR has gone by with this job and I WISH it would go faster! Isn't that terrible? I don't know. I like this job, it's just, I don't know...NOT forever, I know that. But still, it's okay. It's not the best...though $12 an hour IS pretty good. And here I am typing on my blog...maybe I'd do better with inbound calls instead? THEY would be calling me. I don't mind calling others, I really don't. It's just you've GOT to have A LOT of discipline with outbound calls. I shouldn't even be NEAR a computer haha, but I've got to since that's where my call log is at! :)

Back to my upgrade. So what do ya think? I'm excited and feel that after almost 2 years w/ the SAME cell phone, heck, I deserve a new one right?

Well, we shall see what this week's pay brings me. If I can pay the $60 that I owe on last month's cell bill, then I will be able to get my new cell!

Yay!

If not, there's always next week :)

Another Conversation

2008-07-31T13:07:00.010-04:00

Haha! Too bad there was a rabbit in this pic instead of another lamb. It would make more sense since last night Cele and I talked (blah, blah, blah,) and he is the chivito (little lamb) and I am the conejita (little rabbit). Maybe I'll have to tweak it a bit and cut out the other lamb and add a rabbit, sometime? :)

Anyways . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Cele and I talked for the longest time last night.

He told me his usual "te amos" and "te quieros" con todo his corazones. But then, he told me some other different things...things he had never said yet.

I wrote them down as he told me and asked him to repeat them again because honestly, I didn't know if I was hearing 'em right lol! :)

He told me that "en cambio, tu eres una buena persona". During this convo we were talking about that other mujer of his.

Then he told me that when he goes back to México he is going to tell her about me and him and tell her that he wants to stay with me. We discussed how she could react. I asked if she was the violent type and he told me 'no'. I told him that she could cry. He told me "Maybe" but he is not sure because in all of the years they've been together, she has not ONCE said "I love you" or "I miss you/missed you" or anything cariñoso to him. He told me that he thinks that she doesn't even love him at all and that he wants to be with me. He wants to stay with me because of the way I love him. He told me that I know how to love him and that the way I love him is how he's always wanted to be loved. Same here, I told him. :)

He told me that she is NOT a good person, and on the other hand, I am a good person. A good person for him and that he can feel that in his heart. I told him the same.

Anyways, onto about what more was said! I told him that we need to see each other more, but I understand that it's hard, since neither of us have a car. I told him that before I get a car I'd like to pay off this credit card because I owe them money and then once I get it paid off, I can maybe take out a loan for a good car...but I told him I wasn't sure if that was going to happen the way I'd like it to. I told him I owed the credit card company over $2,000!

He was shocked. He asked me what happened to the money and I told him: I spent it on a lawyer for the Catracho as well as sent him money for the "apartment" he was supposed to get down in Honduras AS WELL AS the "honeymoon" we were supposed to have.

I then told him what REALLY happened to the money that I sent to Daniel. The apartment and the honeymoon NEVER happened AND he had given it to his FAMILY!

Cele started crying (lol) and told me that he can't believe how ese tipo hurt me and how good of a woman I really am, especially my parents too, since I told Cele about how my parents and I have given and given and given to this Catracho. But no more, I told him. No more.

I could hear in his voice that there was still sadness and he told me that he doesn't like that I was hurt like that and how Daniel lied to me was wrong. He kept saying "No, no, no." I agreed.

He told me that he could NEVER take money from a woman, never and told me that "A woman's money is a woman's money."

Cele really is a good guy. You can tell how much respect for women he has. I know what SOME of you might be thinking: "Respectful towards women? He lied to you and is lying to the woman in Mexico. He lied about his kids."

Everyone has problems. He's come clean and I respect him for it. The respect I'm talking about is the things we've talked about. I mean this guy doesn't even like going out to clubs because he says "the people there disrespect the women and it's wrong."

He's a good man and I know this in my heart. I feel it, just like he feels that I am a good woman. This is my last post...AS FAR AS trying to convince future readers who comment regarding his lying, etc. that he IS a good man.

Regardless of what happens, he is a good man.

Okay, anyways. So we changed the topic and he started asking me questions about us possibly thinking about getting a car...and that he'd help me out each month to pay for it.

Then he said, which I thought was cute: "We don't have a car. We only have our hearts for each other. We understand each other."

That translation probably didn't come out right BUT I understand what he is saying lol. :)

Did I tell you what he called Daniel? Hahaha it's TOO funny and TOO true! He called him un estafador.

It means Daniel is a swindler. Kinda funny. I looked up the definition and basically it's when someone takes money and takes takes takes. Yup. Sums him up pretty well.

IF Cele DOES hold his end of the bargain and tells his other mujer about me and him and he says he DOES want to stay with me, well I'm kind of scared. I mean looked what happened to the other relationship with the Catracho? I don't even know if I WANT to get married again...guess I've got a LOT of time to think about that though? Right?

Another Talk With Cele

2008-07-29T17:59:00.008-04:00

Cele called me this morning and wanted to come see me. He said he missed me SO much. OMG I miss him SO much too and am counting the days until I see him again! :) <3

I told him today is not really a good time since my step dad's sister (my step aunt, I guess you'd say?) well she is coming into town from Florida this evening.

He told me that he could take a bus there and then a taxi or bus home in the evening. Damn. It sounded like SUCH a great plan. . . of course, I was half asleep when he called me lol!

So I asked my mom just to make sure but unfortunately there was no green light with this one, I didn't really feel like walking down to the end of the street to meet Cele either, as I said before I was half-asleep! LOL :)

He was really disappointed because he was told he was getting off work very early and he was SO proud to finally know how and what bus to take in order to get off right near my house. He wanted to try it out on his own and feel proud, I'm quite sure.

But I had to turn down the offer. Of course, if I had lived alone you can bet your bottom dollar he would have been able to come over, but I live under my parents roof and basically if they want someone over, it happens; if not, it doesn't. Simple as that.

Hey, it's not a bad rule though. Could be much worse! I'm quite lucky ;)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A little while after I got up, I called Cele again and the poor guy was crying a bit and was really sad! He told me that he really wanted to see me today and that probably he won't ever be allowed in my casa again -- I told him that's not true. He feels REALLY bad for lying and I can hear it in his voice and when I was with him last Saturday and early Sunday morning, well I could see how bad he felt for lying to me for 6 months.

I told him that my mom (and step dad sometimes) freak out a bit when him and I talk SO much (I'm talkin AT LEAST 10 times a day or more LOL) because she knows his situation (as do I) and well, I told him that she is afraid that this is going to basically be a waste of my time and that he'll end up staying with HER.

He told me again that he loves ME and wants to stay with ME and not her. The main reason is because he really likes my "forma de ser" and that I really know how to love him the way he wants to be loved.

I told him I feel the same way and that I've been waiting for someone to treat me like this. He told me that he doesn't want to lose me and he doesn't want me or my parents to think bad of him. I told him to stop worrying and that he is welcome in our home, just today was not a good day.

He told me that he will stop worrying and that he feels better now. I told him that I am not going to be worrying about it either and that I feel fine as well. Besides, I told him, what is, is.

Work is quite boring today. Quite slow. I've talked to a couple of rude people too, not VERY nice I tell ya!

But it's a job, will help pay my bills, etc. Mejor que nada as me and Cele always say :)

Can't WAIT until I get to start studying! I need to get this brain working and thinking about OTHER things, eh? ;)

Bleeding Love

2008-07-28T22:05:00.006-04:00

This song, Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, really describes how I am feeling during this time after reading all the comments from people and hearing the truth from Cele's lips. But more on that later. :)

I appreciate all opinions, you all know that, even though I may not agree with some, still, comments are welcome. :)

I was talking with my step father tonight after going to the bank and I said something aloud that just made sense to me. And to me (don't know about others), well it's true. So true.

"If you base your past relationships on your present or future relationships, then you are never going to be able to move forward."

Yup. I said it. And to me it makes sense. Every situation is different. I believe that Cele is genuine regarding his feelings for me. It is just something that others may not understand but since I am the one living this relationship with Cele, I can see how he feels for me. I can feel it, hear it, and see it.

Yes, he lied. I agree that that was disrespectful. Any lying is. But I forgive others. You have to forgive others in life, if you don't, you will live one heck of a miserable life. :/

With that said, I have decided that if I can forgive Cele for the lies he has told, well then I can certainly forgive Daniel (the Catracho) for all the things he has said to me and has done to me. No, I won't forget. But I forgive him.

And I forgive Cele, just haven't said anything to him yet. I will when the time is right. But in my heart I forgive him and I am interested in seeing how things go with me and him. If they go good, awesome. If they go bad, hey, another lesson learned.

Just because I have had bad experiences and just about all my exes have treated me bad and lied to me, DOES NOT mean that just because Cele lied that I'm automatically scratching him off my list. Uh uh. If I did that, I would not know what could be possible out of this relationship.

He treats me good and is still the best boyfriend yet. Yeah, I know some of you might be cringing and saying maybe things like I'm naive, desperate, or [fill in the blank with whatever ya got]. But you don't know. You only know what I've told you, you know? I'm not saying that there is more to this story, but well you know what I mean.

I feel like I'm rambling now lol.

I will leave you with this: In regards to my quote that I wrote up there, well it's true. And you know it.

Think about it. Just because past situations seem the same as a present situation DOES NOT mean that it is. EVERY and I mean EVERY situation is different. If you think that each and every situation is the same, well I'm sorry then you have a closed mind. My mind is open with every situation/relationship and I can tell you right now: Sure, they've got their similarities, what relationship doesn't? BUT they are ALL different. They all began different and they all ended different. All situations in life MAY have similarities BUT they are NEVER the exact same.

A good example would be with my first boyfriend. He never called me and I was the one always calling him. After him, my next boyfriend hardly ever called me either. Basically the same situation. But I pursued the relationship because I just wanted to see where it would go. We got along well. Hardly ever argued and I found out one of the qualities that I truly need in a relationship: Laughter. I can't have a relationship that is all serious and no humor or laughter. No way, just can't do it. I need someone that knows how to be serious when and if the time arises, but overall knows how to be easy-going and fun and playful. :)

An another great example would be my amiga Ojos Verdes: Her and I have an almost similar situation. BUT are they the EXACT same?

Nope. You want to know why?

Re-read this whole blog and you'll find the answer.

:) *sarcastic smile

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love lyrics

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

Ooooh...

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking 'round
Thinking I'm going crazy

Chorus:
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Oooh, oooh...

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal
Is to keep me from falling

Hey, yeah!

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe

Chorus:
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love



Song lyrics | Bleeding Love lyrics

So let's talk about this song real quick. Basically, it describes me, totally and what I am about to write was written by some people who posted on the song's website, but it is totally true and exactly my thoughts.

It is about how she has been hurt in the past by love and then she stopped trying. She meets this guy and falls fast and totally opens herself up to him. All of her friends thinks she's being crazy because of how fast she's going but her heart has been crippled because she keeps closing it, but this guy cuts it open and she doesn't try to make it stop. She lets it keep bleeding and bleeding because she's in love with him, despite what anyone else says.

Love it love, no matter what people think. Basically, despite the fact that you've been closed off for so long, and no matter how you try to fight the feeling, it's there. And it doesn't seem to end.

Okay, so where are the comments? I know you've got some! :)

The Other Woman

2008-07-27T23:00:00.003-04:00

I was the other woman once . . . and just may be once again.

It was quite the interesting lesson. For those who don't know about the affair I had with José, who turned out to be as married as they get, let me fill you in:

I was working at the Westin as a housekeeper. That is where José and I met. It started out innocent. Waving to each other 10 times a day. Then one day, the day before he was supposed to leave, that's when it happened.

I was sitting in the cafeteria and saw him walk by and waved to him. He did the same. I told myself "Go ahead and get his name. What could it hurt?"

Instead he did EXACTLY what I had in my thoughts to do. He came over, introduced myself and immediately when we held hands (we didn't shake, just held) I had felt this bolt of electricity go through me and I felt an immediate connection.

Whether it was because he knew how to play the game, just an intense attraction or because he was Pisces and I'm a Cappy, I don't know. All I know is that there was a connection.

We talked. I remember his opening line and laugh now, kind of feel sorry for the schmuck lol. He asked me, pointing to the water bottle on the table I was sitting at "Is that water for me?" His accent was broken English and I remember telling him "You can have some if you like. Just grab a cup over there, put some ice in it and I can give you some."

He didn't have a CLUE what the heck I was saying.

We talked some more and then that was that. As he walked out I memorized the back of his shirt.

I ended up calling up the company to where he worked and left a message for him to call me. He called me back and I remember I jumped up in the air SO high when I heard his message on my voicemail.

He came to my work the next evening, picked me up and took me to a nice Chinese restaurant. We got along smashingly well I thought. . . He was funny too.

We dated from the end of October until about December-January. I was the other woman for about a month or so, didn't even KNOW it. I was SO naive that I couldn't put two and two together. I thought I was going to marry this guy, have kids with him, etc.

Nope. Turned out he was L-I-A-R. He wasn't 29 as he claimed, but 40 going on 41. He DID have a wife, as he told me, just like I had a husband. MY husband was in Honduras but his wife? No, she was NOT in Mexico. Never was. She was here the WHOLE time he was screwing around with me. P-I-G.

He told me he had 3 kids. Turned out he had 5 kids, two of them were right here with his wife. A 5 year old and a 6-month year old. How sad. How very sad.

He had told me everything I wanted to hear. He knew how to play the game. But eventually the "game" caught up with HIM and well, his wife found out about me. She said she wanted nothing to do with him. She and I argued on the phone a few times until she called me up to apologize -- we talked for about an hour and well, she told me that it was all HIS fault because of all the lies he told.

P-I-G. I felt bad for his wife, I really did. And his poor 5 kids. He KNEW what he was doing all along. He knew.

Shortly after he asked me to be friends with him. I told him I was seeing someone else and basically to piss off.

Do I regret this? No. It taught me a very valuable lesson, as each relationship usually does.

I wrote this blog because I listened to this recording on Earfl and well, I liked it because it shows that there are women out there that are NOT perfect and that HAVE made mistakes, just like I have and did and might continue to do, as I myself, am NOT perfect.

I am in another relationship right now. He is NOT married but does have a woman back in Mexico, I didn't have to find out the HARD way though. He came clean about it which makes me think more of him. Am I regretting continuing on with him? Not one bit. Whatever comes of this relationship, good or bad, will be another lesson. I'm not thinking any long term plans with him because I discovered that THAT is how I get more hurt; if I have thoughts of marrying the person, having kids, etc. The big whole "white picket fence" deal is what gets you into trouble lol, or at least me! :)

I encourage you to check out this recording and more at www.earfl.com! It's a great site! :)

Un-Freakin Believable!

2008-07-27T18:21:00.020-04:00

So before I found out the whole truth about Cele, I consulted a psychic, a very good one that I know through my Work At Home forum but never got around to consulting in.

Wow! She REALLY is good. Here was my question to her and then below is her answer:

Q:

Good evening *****,

I found your email address from www.*****************.com, as I am megita85 on there. I love it there lol! I feel SO blessed to have found that site too! Anyways, I read your blog regarding "One Free Question" and I was wondering if you were still doing that?

I have this question that I keep wracking my brain with and I am SO stressed. I need help because this is basically all I think about and how can I find the answer. :0/

Anyways, if you are still doing the One Free Question, my question is: (if you are not doing the One Free Question, I apologize ahead of time and thank you anyways!) :)

"I met this man, he is 12 years older than me and at first he lied to me about his age, but 6 months after we met he finally came clean, as I told him I was not giving up. Subconsciously I just knew he was older, just by the way he treated me and acted. Anyways, he says that the only reason why he lied to me because I am 23, and says that he is NOT lying about anything else (like having a wife back in Mexico or even kids).

My question is, is this true? He's not bad looking, is a sweet guy and is a good catch, but I can't help this feeling, maybe a gut feeling, that he DOES have a woman back in Mexico or kids or both. This just seems too good to be true."

Talk about drama huh?

Thank you for your help that you can give me.

Megan *******

And here was her answer! Talk about whoa! (Now keep in mind this message to her was written on 7/22 and her response came today, 7/27 and I found out the rest of the truth from Cele on 7/26, just yesterday! Weird, eh?

A:

Hello Megan,

I hope all is well over your way. Thank you for contacting me! The forum seemed to be like a good site but I cannot even access it or post on the boards! I think its because of the characters in my screenname. I have been so busy that I have not even tried again. Hopefully I can later in the week. I'll be happy to address your concern for you. Yes I am still doing one free question. Thanks again.

I feel that there is so much going on with you honey. Not just in the romance department but in other areas of your life. Anyone can automatically assume that you are working from home lol but I feel that you are also trying to further educate yourself and better yourself in a lot of ways. I feel that you will be coming up to a time where you will be able to get this in motion after waiting for so long, so I commend you for that.

As far as the male you are asking about. Let's first make sure that I am connecting to the right person. I feel that he is not bad looking at all like you stated. With a beautiful smile! And I don't know why but when I try to pull a name on him, I keep seeing Celestial Stars LOL ... I don't know what that is all about. Maybe he likes looking at stars??? I hope this is him. In any case, I do feel that there is another woman who has his heart set on him back in Mexico. However, this is not a marriage situation. He is not legally bonded to anyone at this time. He acts too nervous when it comes to things so I know you can sense it. Just know that your relationship or ties to him are not going to be short-lived. You two have a lot more to experience together.

If you would like a full more detailed reading if you feel that you and I have connected, please let me know as I will be online for the rest of the evening. . . . . . . . .[her payment information, etc.] . . . . . . . . . .

Hope to talk soon -- With Hugs & Love From *****!

UNBELIEVABLE! She REALLY knows! When I get some more money, depending on if my budget lets me...well, I'm going to contact her again and see what more info she's got for me! IF ANYONE wants her information I'll give it to you, she's good, really good. And hey, why not? ONE FREE READING! Just let me know . . . It was my first psychic reading and I'm convinced and 'hooked' LOL :D

Anyways, I highlighted some things above in her answer and below I went into a little more depth. (I'm sure you're wondering what is true, right?)

1. "Trying to further educate yourself and better yourself"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True! She hit that head on! I am trying to further educate myself and will be studying at TESC in September! I also am trying to better myself (get rid of my debt, get my license FINALLY and get a car, etc.)

2. "Beautiful smile!"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True again! Cele does have a beautiful smile.

3. "Celestial Stars"

TRUE OR FALSE?

Wow! True again and amazing! You see how she capitalized the C and S? THOSE are HIS initials! And his name is Celestino, gotta say it just to show you how ACCURATE and scary and odd this reading was! Celestial of ALL words? Weird huh? Plus, Cele's name is NOT that common. :)

4. "Another woman"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True again! I didn't even KNOW this was true until yesterday when Cele came clean with everything. Weird.

5. "Not a marriage situation"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True, OMG again! Cele told me that he was not married and that's when he did that kiss thing with his fingers (I believe what you say Jenn;o), I do believe he is telling the truth that he is NOT married!)

6. "Not legally binded"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True! Cele told me "I'm not married like how you are with papers from Honduras."

7. "Acts too nervous"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True again! He did act nervous before he came clean with me. I don't have any gut feelings anymore though, I feel relieved. Even if I TRIED to have a gut feeling it just is NOT happening. Cele sounds SO much better too and I believe that he is being genuine about it. He told me to ask my parents to forgive him and I told him we do and he said "Thank you so much. I am still so very sorry." :)

8. "Not going to be short lived" and "Have a lot more to experience together"

TRUE OR FALSE?

Not sure yet! Hoping to be true! We shall see!

This was an exciting thing to read, I'll tell ya! I can believe still how dead on she was. I will post again when and if I can do a more in depth reading with her!

P.S. I forgot to mention regarding the last "Cele coming clean" post: I FINALLY saw his I.D.! Ha! Funny how things happen...I'm still saying "WOW" also, just like all my previous comments!

I was right! Cele came clean FINALLY!

2008-07-27T12:31:00.007-04:00

Well, Cele and I spent the whole day together yesterday and he finally came clean about TWO MAJOR THINGS. I could be a LOT worse than I had thought but I still am not thinking about anything long term with him just to prevent heartbreak in case it happens. I am not going to go into detail with EVERYTHING that we talked about and ALL the other questions I asked him. I am just going to tell you the TWO MAJOR THINGS that he FINALLY came clean about!

Well. . .

Cele and I were on his bed and were talking and I told him that it was OBVIOUS that he was hiding something else. I said I just know it, I can feel it. I told him that when I was pushing him to tell me about his TRUE age, he would laugh and change the subject. And I told him "Cele, you are doing the SAME thing in regards to me talking with your mom. It's obvious there is some reason why you don't want me talking with her. So TELL ME. Please! I'm going CRAZY here!"

I kept telling him to tell me and then I said "Listen. It's going to be the same thing just like with me seeing your I.D. I'm NOT going to stop asking you."

Finally, he goes "Okay, I'll tell you. You are going to be VERY mad and hurt."

We are laying side by side and I just felt my heart do something in my chest.

He grabbed me gently and pulled me close and told me "Come here."

I said "OMG! I'm really worried. I have NO idea what you are going to tell me."

He tells me "I'm NOT married. . . but. . ."

I started tearing up and so did he.

"But what?" I asked. I already KNEW the answer. I had all along.

He goes with tears starting to come down his face "I do have a woman in Mexico, BUT we are not together and she doesn't love me like you do. I want to be with you. I'm NOT happy with her, never have been for a long time. She is very cold towards me, hardly talks to me or my parents. Forgive me, Megan. Forgive me."

OMG. Tears start coming down my face so quickly and Cele grabs me and holds me and keeps saying "Forgive me" over and over again while crying right along with me and over and over as well he kept say "The only reason why I didn't tell you is because I didn't want to lose you. I'm SO sorry that I hurt you and your parents too. I'm so sorry that I lied."

I then ask him "Children?"

He goes "Yes, three."

OMG. (again)

I ask what there names and ages are. He tells me.

I ask what her name is. He tells me.

I ask how long they've been together. He tells me.

I ask many more questions and he tells me the answers to those too.

Then he tells me that the reason he is building a house is for his sons when they get older. He is NOT building the house for him and his woman. He calls her "La Señora" or in English, "The Mrs."

But he swears to God and did this weird kissing thing where he put his fingers to his lips and then up above, saying that he is NOT married. I asked him why after all this time with her didn't they get married. She doesn't have a birth certificate so they couldn't.

He doesn't want to be with her and they are only "together" for the kids. Him and her are not "together" for each other.

I felt a BIG relief and finally knew why I had to suffer a bit with the old man José. It was a lesson and I had to learn from it and learn to read the signs when someone is hiding something. Man! I am SO proud of myself because I really paid extra close attention in this relationship and did NOT let up. I listened to my gut feeling and boy! I was RIGHT.

I told Cele that it was SO obvious. With the large amount of calls to Mexico (he hardly ever talks to the woman, just regarding the kids, and he talks to his kids and parents a lot), him asking me twice "You like kids, right?", him sending money every 15 days (turns out it IS for his kids and for the land he's paying on), and with him changing the subject of me talking to his mom (his parents don't know about me yet, but he told me that they want him to be happy and know that he is not happy with this other woman). These were ALL obvious signs. But he's come clean! And I told him it was better of him to come clean with me (whether it's 2 months, 3 or 6 or 9) than for me to find something out another way.

Just a note for anyone who just starts dating a Mexican: "If Mexican is lying about ANYTHING, you will find out in 6 to 9 months."

My good friend who is Mexican told me this and he is right. He knows because he is a Mexican himself and he has told me all the secrets to how Mexicans work. And boy, is he RIGHT! Just unbelievable.

The only thing Cele kept telling me is that I am very smart. I said "Cele, us gringos are. All the signs were there, anyways." Then we laughed and then my mom called me and I told her all about it. She's not shocked nor mad at him either. Neither of us are and he's still welcome in our home. When my parents picked me up this morning, Cele was about to leave at 4 something and waiting for his ride, my mom said "I haven't seen Cele so happy. He looks like he has 'relief' all over his face. He looks the happiest I've ever seen him since we know everything."

OMG. It's so true. I asked him and he says he feels so much better. He's not a liar, he told me. He doesn't like to lie because it hurts people and even though he feels so much better, he feels VERY bad that he lied to me and my parents and hurt us. Then he told me again that the only reason why he lied was that he was scared he was going to lose me.

Like I told him: It was obvious. The signs were all there. AND FINALLY I know the truth. I feel so relieved too.

Cele and I are still together. He's asked me to forgive him. I didn't answer and then he goes "I understand that it will be hard for you to trust me now, since I've lied so much. You are probably thinking bad of me, that I'm a liar. And I understand that it will be hard to forgive me, but I just ask that you do, and if you can't now, then please someday."

I didn't answer him on whether I forgive him or not. But I did keep asking him questions late on until the night (I stayed until the next morning, a little after 4 am I went home...but for a different reason which will be in a blog post later).

We shall see what happens. We shall see.

AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME: "Well, if he lied about these things you know he's lying about something else." OR "This relationship started out as a lie so it will probably end in a lie."

I really don't want to hear it. It takes GUTS to lie about anything especially in a relationship, BUT it takes even MORE GUTS to come clean and not by coming clean when you are caught another way.

On another note! The work at home job is going good and I found out I'll be hitting the books (starting college) lol, in September! :D

Something Else IS Going On

2008-07-25T11:47:00.007-04:00

Cele and I talked for a LONG time last night. He cried and I cried a little bit.

I asked him flat out that I know it's obvious he's going to go back to México again, I mean it's his country. I totally understand that and support that. BUT I asked him what's going to happen with us? I asked him if he is just passing the time with me until he goes back to México OR if what we've got is something serious?

You wanna know what the cabrón told me?!?!

"Necesitamos conocernos más, Megan."

Now if my translation is correct, that means: "We need to get to know each other more, Megan." Right?

I was shocked and actually thought MAYBE he would say OF COURSE this is something serious! I mean AFTER ALL he's brought up marriage (not right away, in a couple of years), having kids...our exact convo about THAT:

Me: "Cotton (my cat), our son is here on my bed. He says 'Hello' jaja"

Him: That's nice. But I need to make a real son with you, not just have a cat.

I asked him the next day about this convo and asked him if he was serious, he said 'Yes'.

SO NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN WE NEED TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE?!?!

*shocked look!*

Well, I think we know each other PRETTY WELL already if you don't know what I'm talking about. No more of that. I honestly thought that we were something serious. He talks about marriage, having children and living together!

Like my good amigo Johnnie says "Megan, those are just words. Some Mexicans will say anything b/c they know you are easy -- not in a physical way, but 'easy prey' to get you to go along with each and every word they say to you. It's the actions that count, words are just words. You need to play the game that he's playing."

I'm not one for games, because I've been played before and let me tell you, it hurts.

I'm just wondering if I'm being played ONCE AGAIN.

So from this day on, I'm not even THINKING about anything long term with Cele. He's just going to be someone that I care about and spend a day or two out of the week with. That's it. I am concentrating on saving up money and getting my license, fixing my credit and getting a car.

Did I tell you I am starting college in September? How exciting! And my first day of work went quite well last night. I like it so far . . .

Cele's a nice guy, but right now, I cannot afford to get my heart broken again. So I am going to TRY and not get TOO attached.

Then I'm thinking MAYBE he is just scared? It IS a possibility. He kept saying "What if the Catracho doesn't want to divorce you?" and "Are you SURE that you are going to be getting a divorce?" and "Are you SURE that he will be willing to give YOU a divorce?"

Just stuff like that.

By reading what I just wrote I can kind of see that he COULD be scared and that's why he has to get to know me more. I have to get to know him more too! So far so good though as far as me being happy when I'm with him and happy the way he treats me.

I just don't like that when I asked him (just to see) if I go go with him when he goes to Mexico. You wanna know what he said to THAT?!

"I'm going to come back, Megan. I've got many things that I have to take care of over there. But I'm going to come back."

Then he said . . .

"I'm going to come back and forth. I'm going to get a visa, but first I need to save money for one."

Wow. A VISA?! How can he do that? He told me he could and he sounded quite sure of it.

THEN he asked me . . .

"How long were you single for before meeting me? Like a year right?"

Basically he was asking that I wait a YEAR for him! OMG. I don't think so. I told him the most that I'd wait would be 2 months. I told him that in the beginning of the relationship he told me that he would go back to México and when he gets to his home, he'd call me and then I'd make plans to fly there and visit him. I told him this and he goes . . .

"I told you that?"

OH MY FREAKIN' LORD! I'm starting to think that this relationship or WHATEVER it is, is NOT going to work. He told me his 2nd to last girlfriend and him didn't have the same thoughts and that's why they broke up.

His last girlfriend, he wanted to be with her forever and marry her, but she cheated on him and maybe married that guy.

I'm seeing a pattern. Maybe Cele really is NOT married because maybe he is REALLY hard to live with and hard to understand.

I love him, I'm crazy about him and I really care about him. But if he can't answer a straight question to "Is he just passing time with me or is what he have something serious?" then HOW IN THE WORLD can I be serious?

He cried on the phone today when he got home from work. I asked him why he was crying and he goes "Because you didn't call me at lunch."

(Ya see, I usually call him up right as I know he's in the cafeteria to say "enjoy your meal")

Maybe he really DOES care? But for him to have a hard time giving me a straight answer, I'm sorry, but whether he's scared or not, it's kind of pushing me away because I don't want to think of this as something SERIOUS when in reality it's not.

Ah, and I forgot this also. He also told me something like "You are hearing things that I say that aren't really what they are." I think his Spanish was something like this ". . . las cosas que no son." I don't remember all the words before that, only a few more, but heck, I don't remember.

I am DEFINITELY writing up a cell phone contract NOW!

First Day of Work!

2008-07-24T10:41:00.007-04:00

So I just finished my training yesterday with my boss, and I am SOOO nervous because I start my job today! OMG. :0 (that's supposed to be a shocked face lol)

So they had me on the schedule from 3-9, but I just checked it again and it says 4-9. Hey, that's okay. More time to get nervous right? Ha ha ha. :) Wish me luck!

Onto other things, like Cele:

I think we're growing apart or something else is going on. I don't know yet, but it's either me that has changed my attitude towards him, or him towards me, or both! *shrugs*

This sucks. :( We were fine on Saturday. We spent the WHOLE day together. I don't know. Maybe it's me. I've got mi amigo telling me that Celestino's got a wife back in Mexico and probably 2-3 kids, because ALL Mexicans do (and no, he doesn't like me like that, he's getting married soon lol!) but I can't agree with THAT statement because I know people who have had luck and had no baggage with their Mexican men...

Then I've got others (and I mean this in a good way lol!) saying to me: You've gotta talk to his mom.

Well I asked Cele for the number and he told me that there is NO direct phone to call (he doesn't talk to her directly), it's a caseta that he calls. Looked that up and it turns out it is like a phone booth. He went on to tell me that when he calls the caseta, he tells someone to go get his mom, then they hang up. The person gets his mom and Cele calls back and talks to her. He also told me it gets disconnected a lot.

He then tells me that IF his mom had a direct phone line, he'd give me the number. But unfortunately it doesn't. He goes on to tell me that "Hablamos con mi mamá un día". We will talk with her one day? WELL WHEN??????

I know, I know. I'm a woman of determination and I get impatient, ESPECIALLY when it comes to THESE things. Things that I could POSSIBLY find out that could break my heart

And ya know how we are on the same phone plan now right? He pays his 1/2 and I pay mine?

Wellll...he tells me that he will have the money on Saturday, the bill is due today...I'm NOT complaining about THAT though b/c I don't even have MY share for the bill. He tells me that he doesn't have enough money because he just bought land. I said "Where?", "In Mexico" he goes. OMG. He tells me he just started paying on this land.

I know he is going to be building a house soon after the land is all paid off. So I ask him "Will you build a house for your parents, or just you or...?" He tells me "I don't know, Megan." then he goes on to say how I have changed.

My mom was thinking that maybe this house building was for me and him but he says he doesn't know b/c I've changed. Hmm. It's a thought, BUT a TOO-good-to-be-true thought. :/ I wish it were that. I wouldn't mind moving there...if all was good and I was prepared! :D

And I just called him up to say "Enjoy your meal" and he acted kinda nervous or something and then the phone "disconnected" and he hasn't called back. NO WAY am I calling him back. I just wonder if he might be seeing someone else?

I HATE to throw those accusations out there, but I STILL don't know this guy. He could be even MORE slicker than that jerk José. José REALLY knew how to play the game and Cele might too, who knows?

I think that's what I am terrified of. I just want to have LUCK this time. Him and I connect really well and we have the same beliefs, values, morals...everything just about. <3

Maybe it's all in my head and I'm just TRYING to find something wrong with this relationship, maybe preparing myself for the worst b/c I have had bad luck with many Mexicans (Latinos, etc.) already?

Yep, it's all in my head.

Yep, it's all in my head. He just called back. He said that the signal wasn't very good in the cafeteria. OMG, I SO remember those days when I worked there. He told me he finished up his lunch and is now walking back to the golf course.

He asked me if I thought he hung up on me. I said "Yes, I did." and he goes on to tell me about the signal thing (what I wrote above) and told me that he's sorry. *gushes* I love it when he speaks English lol. I tell him it's NOT his fault since I remember the signal thing when I worked there.

He also asked me "Do you miss me like I miss you?"

I told him "Cele, you don't even KNOW how much I miss you!"

He goes "If it's the same as I miss you, then yes, I do."

Then we go on to talking and I tell him that I want to get a car so we can see each other more. We then say that this is SO difficult. And it really is. Just seeing each other once or twice a week really sucks. I really miss him :(

He wishes me luck on my work today and then tells me he'll call me later. The BEST part about this relationship though is when he says he'll call me or he'll see me, HE DOES IT. No ifs, ands or buts about it. HE DOES IT. Even though I haven't talked to his mom (yet) I have faith that I will.

I mean I got his age out of him right? JUST THINK: If I had pushed him for his age months and months ago, I would have already known! But then my readers wouldn't have had a good novela lol! :D

Well I am going to go eat breakfast and shower and then watch some T.V. I AM SO NERVOUS!!! about working today.

But then I think "Megan, 12 hours from now you will be done with work and sleeping, ready to start tomorrow all over again."

:)

Confessions, Secrets, Addictions

2008-07-22T11:37:00.006-04:00

Awesome site! Everyone should check it out!

Here are five videos just to get your attention!

The Other Woman:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3267

Forgot To Tell My Dad:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3601

Confessions Of A Middle Aged Librarian:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3006

Confessions Of A Cheater:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3048

I Failed Out Of College:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3063

This site is awesome! I love it! You guys have to check it out! :)

www.earfl.com

Los Tigres del Norte!

2008-07-20T19:57:00.003-04:00

Noche De Estrellas

It's on at 8pm, in a few minutes on Univision! I'm really excited because me and Cele are going to watch it together...unfortunately por telefono but hey, it's better than nothing!

Well, SO much for "watching it together" lol. Couldn't get a hold of him. Oh well, asi es.

It wasn't that interesting or good as I thought it would be. Los Tigres sang a couple of songs, played a game show and this comedian tried to get Los Tigres to laugh. Only one did, casi.

So much for that. Now I remember why I don't watch Univsion anymore like I used to. El Fuego en La Sangre DOES look good though and so I might start watching that to brush up more on my Spanish.

His Mysterious Ways

2008-07-16T07:50:00.004-04:00

So I am sitting here and I couldn't really sleep this morning, got up around 5:30.

I think I could be stressed because I haven't started work yet and well, money is tight. Isn't it always though with everyone? Except the people that are rich.

Ever since I had quit my job at the Westin though, I must tell you, I have been blessed with some kind of money in some form or another. I will not tell you that it is just based on luck, because I truly believe that God has used his mysterious ways to help me during this hard time.

I read once in my Sylvia Browne book, a quote that went something like this:

"If you are not happy and do not like your job, quit it. Don't worry about financial problems because God will help you and provide for you."

And you know what? She is right! God has been there for me and has provided money for me through many ways, whether it be through the help of my parents, a friend, an odd job around the neighborhood, or simply as a technology situation at my bank.

Let me tell you: Last Christmas I didn't work that many hours so I only really had enough money to pay for my terribly large amount of a cell bill and maybe buy two Christmas cards.

Well I remember that I called my bank and told them that I wasn't going to have the money in my account to be taken out for my credit card payment. (I did have the money it is just I wanted my parents to have a nice Christmas). My bank told me that hopefully I could have someone put the money in there for me because regardless the system is automated and it would be taken out on the date it always is, regardless.

So I left my money in there and prayed and hoped I could still give my parents a nice Christmas. Ugh, I even bought José two things too. Sheesh.

Well after that date the money was supposed to be taken out, I checked my bank account like I always do and guess what?

The payment WAS taken out BUT it was taken out FROM the credit card I am paying on itself! NOT from my checking account!

OMG.

At first I thought "Okay, no biggie they will just correct the mistake and then it will be taken from my checking account" WRONG! Never happened!

And now from that day on and I just knew it was an act from God.

Well let me tell you this one: It has happened again! (doesn't happen each month either, just when God feels I need help from above) :)

I have been worried a lot lately regarding money and if I'd have the $$$ I need to pay for my cell phone bill.

Well I get on my bank account this morning and the SAME thing has happened again.

I just cannot believe it! God really does know when you need help and if I start work this week I will just make enough to pay my bill.

I don't know exactly how religious some of you are, I don't ever go to church, which I know I should start and sometime soon I will. I was reading a devotional Bible every day but that fizzled out quickly and I'd like to start doing it again...

But this is just simply amazing and how incredible :)

Emotions All Over The Place

2008-07-15T14:29:00.003-04:00

So these really irritable and moody emotions started yesterday. I read my horoscope and supposedly the planet Pluto is responsible for these moods of mine and they supposedly will last for a couple more days.

Do I believe it? Maybe. My horoscope was dead on about how I am feeling right now though, so who knows? I've always been interested in Astrology but don't rely on my horoscopes all the time.

I don't know WHAT is wrong with me. I've been feeling SO nauseous, dizzy, irritable, depressed and just downright mean. I feel like I hate EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I don't want to be like that!

Why am I feeling this way? I thought maybe it was because I didn't get any sleep that night before picking up my mom to bring her home (update on her is on the way too, promise!).

But that wasn't it.

Then I thought it was because I was hungry.

Nope, not that either.

It is coming up to be that time of the mes, but I don't ever have nausea and I'm never dizzy! OMG. I have all these thoughts of why I could be feeling this way going through my head.

Cele called me and told me that he doesn't feel good either, his stomach hurts.

Hmm.

I don't feel like writing anymore, think I will go eat something b/c I am feeling very nauseous. I'll update soon with my mom and other things.

Final Thoughts

2008-07-13T13:30:00.007-04:00

. . . Well, at least I think they are lol.

I have done a LOT of thinking since I've found out that Cele is really 35. Since it has only been a week or maybe less since I found out the truth (honestly though, I already KNEW he was older) well, I have read all my comments that I have received on the topic and I've come to the conclusion and really liked one comment that I received: (don't worry, I like EVERYONE'S opinions/comments, just this one comment is true, just like all the others too, but this one I couldn't have said it better than myself!) :)

". . . most likely he is scared to tell you as many hispanics are in shaky footing with relationships at best and im sure he is scared. bottom line, he needs to be honest, and you need to realize that no matter what happened there, he is here now and move forward. if you catch him in any future lies, then that would be a different matter. like the commercial says WHAT HAPPENS IN MEXICO, STAYS IN MEXICO. no matter how much you babysit a person , all you can do in the end is trust till you have a concrete reason not to trust anymore. if he treats you good, and you are happy, go with it slowly."

I am going to think realistic. Most likely he does have a wife (or was married) and has kids. He's been on this earth for 35 years. That's a LONG time! And I DO believe that he is afraid to tell me. I was afraid to tell him that I was married. Luckily, he understood my situation but DID tell me that it isn't normal in his culture for a woman or man to be married (or even have a girlfriend/boyfriend) and be with someone else. He told me that each family does believe in different things, just like here, but in his family having a wife or husband and then another girl or guy on the side is just wrong.

I told him just like here in the states, everyone does their own thing, has their own beliefs. I told him I don't believe in cheating, and even though I am legally married on paper being with Cele or another man is definitely still infidelity. And I still feel bad about it, but at least the Catracho knows and I'm not like leading him on right?

This post will be quite shorter than the rest of 'em lately.

For now, since I am happy with Cele and I am being treated better than ever before than I have in my past, I'm just going to go day by day and continue on being his novia. Call me crazy or tell me I have no self-respect, but I do have self-respect and I am NOT crazy.

It has been a LONG time since I've been happy like this and I've never felt number one in someone's life (meaning a guy's life lol!) and so I'm hanging onto it.

What happened in Mexico, happened. He came clean about his age and swears up and down with straight answers that he's got no woman over there (no wife or girlfriend) and no kids. I asked him questions last night though about his past girlfriends, etc. and he had NO problem giving me answers. Didn't cry either, probably because I didn't sound mean or accusatory.

For now I'm believing him but I'm still watching and listening for signs. I won't be totally naive lol.

I'm just trusting him for now until I have concrete evidence that he IS telling the truth or that he is NOT telling me the truth. Regardless, I am going to be very careful and not get my hopes up.

Life is too short to not be happy; and with Cele, I'm happy. I enjoy spending time with him and talking with him. He treats me good and respects me (besides the lying about the age part). We have a lot of fun together and I feel like we "get each other" or understand each other.

I am not really thinking in "forever" at the moment since #1 I still need to get my divorce out of the way and #2 I just don't know if I will get married anytime soon again.

For now I'm living in the moment and living life, what is, is and what will be, will be. :)

Hmm . . . That Is All That I Can Say For Now

2008-07-12T14:05:00.017-04:00

Okay, so for anyone that is wondering, the update with my mom will come soon. I took some pics but haven't put them in my computer . . . yet. She is feeling a tiny bit better though but is still in pain.

Okay onto Cele: OMG. Where do I start? I think he has mental problems or is slow or something. I don't want that to come across as "mean" or what have you, but he just seems to have a LOT of problems and how come I always find the ones that have problems lol? Am I supposed to "save" them or something? Whatever.

So last night I talked with my Mexican amigo who told me that basically I am easy when it comes to Mexicans. Not easy in a sexual way, but in a way that I fall for these guys too quick. And he is right, well kind of. I am fallen for too.

Anyways, getting off topic. So mi amigo tells me what I need to do and I'll post on that later on in another post, as it is not really regarding this post.

So Cele and I talk last night and he is sober mind you when we talk. I had just gotten off the phone with mi amigo, so I guess I was a little wound up and felt like I was "on a role". I hate it when I get that way because I usually end up hurting people with my words that I don't want to hurt.

Cele tells me that he doesn't want to lose me. I tell him: "Cele, you aren't going to lose me. But I will tell you this and this is the last time that I am bringing it up to you: Now keep in mind Cele that this is just for example: IF you have ANYTHING more to tell me, no matter what it may be, tell me NOW because IF I find out that you have lied to me about ANYTHING else, you will lose me."

He starts crying and tells me "Megan, I don't understand why you can't trust me. I love you very much but -- maybe we shouldn't continue this relationship if you can't trust me."

I tell him "Cele. I was just saying for example, please don't cry."

He continues crying and says "Megan, I already told you why I lied about my age. It was very hard for me to tell you b/c I really thought that I was going to lose you. When you say things like I am still lying to you it makes me feel bad. I get really hurt because I only lied to you about one thing, my age, and you already know why. I do understand why you feel this way and you have every right to, but it still hurts me knowing that you don't trust me."

Now I start to cry. So now we are both crying like babies lol. He tells me "Don't cry. It hurts me to hear in your voice that you are sad and crying."

We eventually both stop crying, say "love you" and "forgive me" and then we hang up, he says he will call me later.

He calls me maybe an hour later and I immediately know that he has been drinking and I'm a bit pissed because we did have any agreement, and basically he broke it. I keep quiet until he tells me that he has been drinking.

And he does. A few minutes into the convo he goes "Megan? If I tell you something will you get mad?" I say "No, tell me." I already knew what he was going to tell me. Funny, how it hasn't been 6 MONTHS yet and we already basically know how we are.

He goes "I've had a few beers." I tell him "Cele, I already knew that you had been drinking, but not just a few beers, more than that." He tells me 6. OMG! This hombre is nuts!

We talk some more and he starts crying again and saying things like "Megan, I am not going to leave you, so don't worry." I tell him I'm not going to leave him either and not to worry.

Then there is more talking, most of what I can't remember.

OH HANG ON, I forgot a part! We were talking (when he was sober, mind you) about children. He goes can I ask you a question? Sure, why not?

I will tell my readers this: This is the weirdest question that I have EVER heard especially coming from a 35-year-old and you would THINK he would know the answer! I mean no he doesn't have the best memory and has even told me that, and it's true, he doesn't. But not to know the answer to this? OMG.

His question? You ready for this?

"Megan, how does a woman get pregnant?" Now before everyone says this is a red flag or whatever let me tell you that we were talking about a woman's health, my health and pregnancy. He just didn't ask me out of the blue, there were topics that we talked about that lead into this question :) and I had NOT mentioned ANYTHING about lying to me about him having children, a wife or girl back in Mexico either, this was before I said "You are not going to lose me unless you have lied . . ."

Okay, I am literally stunned and shocked at what I am hearing. He is THIRTY FIVE YEARS OLD and doesn't have the slightest bit idea of how a woman gets pregnant?! OMG.

So I tell him and I mention the word "Ovulation" and he goes "Uh, what is that?" He goes "You probably think I'm stupid but I'm not a woman and I don't remember what I learned in school"

So I explain to him as much as I know of the process of how a woman conceives. Throughout the convo he goes "Mmhm, that sounds familiar now that I've heard the word. I think I remember hearing it in school now that you mention it."

I am still shocked at this.

Which brings me to my next question: Is it possible for a 35-year-old guy, especially from Mexico where usually the men marry SO young, is it possible for him not to have any kids?

I am starting to think it is. He is SUCH a "cry a$" as my step dad calls him that I think the woman that he was with for almost 2 years left his a$ to marry someone else because he is so "sentimental" as he calls it.

AND OMG HE IS. Now I have NO problem if a guy cries or is sensitive, it's just the stuff he has been telling me. Not knowing how a woman gets pregnant? Come on.

Do I believe that? Not sure, yet. He acted quite interested as I told him how a woman conceived and kept apologizing that he didn't know too much. OMG! Did I mention when he was over at my house and I was peeling potatoes he watched me and asked me "Wow! What is that?" (referring to the potato peeler in my hand) I said "It's a potato peeler." He was mesmorized and it wasn't fake either, I thought he was joking. He asked me questions like "How much does it cost in stores?" and "Where could I buy it do you think?" I never thought to let him try it out, but I think I was just STUNNED that a 35-year-old didn't know what a potato peeler was.

Maybe he came from a poor home and I mean hey, he is much older. I guess I just thought he would have more experience. He didn't graduate either. Dropped out in 8th grade to help his family earn money.

Anyways, I bited the bullet and asked on Yahoo! Answers last night:

"For those with experience or even knowledge, what are signs that a man is married back in Mexico? I am dating this guy and he says he is single, has no kids and is 35. I just don't know if this is even POSSIBLE.

Anyone know anything on this topic or maybe know any man who is 35 and is not married with no kids?

Thanks and PLEASE no racist or immigration-related comments! Thank you in advance! :)"

I received many answers that were not just what I wanted to hear, but really opened up my eyes. The ones that opened up my eyes are in yellow. :)

Answer #1: " my uncle actually two of my uncles are in there forties with no kids and never been married its sooo possible"

Answer #2: "Believe it, he's single!! He hasn't been looking or just doesn't know where to meet anybody. And probably doesn't have the time. And if you believe in a higher power maybe it was just time that he met someone that just clicked with him."

Answer #3: "It is very possible for a man to be 35 and not married or have kids. Nothing wrong with it. He just has not found or wanted the right woman."

Answer #4: "I have some Mexican in me (and very proud of it, BTW) so I can't make racist comments. I think you should really try to get to know this guy first. Go back to his hometown in Mexico and visit his family. It is very possible that a 35-year-old guy is not married and has no children, why not? Maybe he just chose not to be in a committed relationship before he met you. If he has a wife back home, just mentioning the idea of visiting his hometown will -surely- make him nervous. Watch his reaction and to also ask him questions about his life, what he's done so far, what his family does and where they live, etc."

Answer #5: "meh, give him time.. he will get comfortable and show his true colors and it will become obvious why he was never married."

Answer #6: "Of course its possible. Not everyone gets married.

Answer #7: "Ya, some people just haven't found who they want to marry yet. He could be telling the truth, it depends how believeable he is and if he is a good liar"

Honestly? I don't know what is going to happen between me and Cele. It is great the way he treats me and I really do care about him. Lo quiero, lo amo. Just taking it day by day and going from there. It could be a mistake but I won't know either way. I am also going to concentrate on building up my credit, getting my license and taking out a loan to get a car. Forget about moving out! I need to get my license and get out on the roads and drive lol!

Then maybe Cele and I can try and have some dates and see how that goes instead of just chilling at my house all the time.

I am going back to sleep. I only got LESS THAN ONE HOUR of sleep last night because Cele was being SO immature. I told him so too. I must have sat on that phone calling out his name and asking if he was there for about a good 20 minutes. No response. So just in case he was listening, I told him: You are being VERY RUDE. This is NOT like you but it is because you are drinking. We had an agreement and you told me that you wouldn't drink anymore unless we were together. You are also being VERY IMMATURE. For a 35-year-old, well I can't believe how you are acting. You need to grow up. I am hanging up this phone because you are NOT saying ANYTHING to me and it's rude. AND I need to get some sleep.

So I hung up. 10 minutes later or less, he called me back three times. The third time I answered it and the guy is IN TEARS!!!! OMG. Not again. So I thought to myself: No wonder he was alone and says he doesn't have anyone else back in Mexico. NO WOMAN IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would put up with this! Needless to say I was PISSED! :o/

He asks me through his tears why did I hang up on him? I didn't want anything to do with him anymore?

I told him that I was sorry but it was rude for him to not answer me and not say anything. I told him I still want to continue this BUT we had an agreement and he broke it and I was pissed.

I told him that I needed to get some sleep and THAT was THAT.

Everything is okay now, but we are going to have A LONG A$ TALK when we see each other IN PERSON again, probably next week because I am DONE taking buses at least I think for now.

Second Thoughts

2008-07-11T05:38:00.004-04:00

So yesterday wasn't a surprise. I had just found out that Cele was 35 and of course it was normal to have all these thoughts (just like the pic to your left, thanks to mark sebastian) running through my head:

Okay, so he's 35. That's 12 years apart. Does he have a wife? Is he married? Did he have a wife? Was he married once? He did tell me that the past is the past and what happened, happened. Does he have any kids? Is he really talking with his parents or could it be another woman.

I have to take into consideration what people say about this situation, BUT I can't dwell on it and have stuff in the back of my head anymore. Like my amiga Lisita said: "What is is, you can't change it. If he's got other baggage, he's got it. If he doesn't, then he doesn't." And she is right about that. I can't change the past just like he can't change the past.

Am I going to be naive in this situation? No. I am going to be SO careful that it is not even funny. I have to protect my heart and yes, ONE WAY to do that would to just call things off altogether. But what if I did that and he turned out to just have had a past (just like everyone does) and he was really a decent guy? That would suck.

So like I told him last night: Yes, I'm scared of getting hurt again. Who isn't? But I've got to take a chance. Life is too short to be scared of taking chances. Two main questions that I answered were:

Am I happy with him?

YES!

Does he respect me and treat me right and do I feel loved by him?

OMG, YES!

So that is all there is to it. I told him that "Regret is worse than fear" and if I, or we, don't take a chance on this relationship, then I'll, or we'll, never know what will happen.

If it works out where Cele and I are together forever, awesome. If not, another life lesson will be learned.

There's a decent guy out there for me. I hope Hispanic and preferably a guy from México lol, but no matter what culture he is from, he is out there.

And whether that is Cele or not, no matter what his past is, well time will tell and I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

I will be careful. Most definitely. But no more accusations unless I REALLY think that they are reasonable. I am going to enjoy this relationship while it lasts and like I said, if it lasts forever? The more the merrier.

For now, I've got a sexy Mexican who buys me my very own tortillas. I'ma takin' advantage of that lol!

:)

My Special Mommy

2008-07-10T11:10:00.004-04:00

Well, so tomorrow in the morning my mother is having surgery. I am nervous for her but mostly excited because she has waited for what seems like forever to feel good for at least one day. I don't think she has ever had a good nor much less perfect day when it comes to her health. She deserves SO much better than that, and finally, I think she has found great Doctors! I know my grandparents, especially my grandmother is smiling down from Heaven because they too, know how long my mom has waited to feel better! It just seems like it has been one thing after another and hopefully this will be IT.

Above is a picture of the liver and gallbladder. In case you were wondering: #1 is the gallbladder, #2 is gallbladder removal, #3 is the cystic duct and #4 is the liver.

OH -- I should mention the kind of surgery my mom is having: She is having a cholecystectomy, which means they are totally removing her gallbladder because it is only functioning 28% (which is really bad) and she also has a hiatal hernia that the surgeon is going to lower and tighten. They tell her she will never be able to throw up again and will only burp a little bit but not A LOT like how regularly people do.

To never throw up again? Wow. That's nice, I guess. I have heartburn right now just thinking about it and actually, I've been having heartburn lately. I hope I don't have anything wrong with my gallbladder and I sure hope I don't have a hiatal hernia.

This is why I have to start eating right! Check out my new post on Walking Away The Pounds...gosh that needs a new name...and I think I've just might have thought of one. Still in the works though lol!

Well PLEASE say prayers for my mom and wish her luck if you'd like! :D

Love you very much mommy! :D <3

OMG! HE TOLD ME!!!!!

2008-07-10T00:24:00.007-04:00

I had to share this with you really quick. He FINALLY came clean and told me how old he is! He is NOT 26! He is 35 and was 34 when I met him.

How do I feel? Since I already thought he was in his 30s, I feel great and like a BIG weight has been lifted off my shoulder!

He told me that he does NOT have a wife or kids in Mexico, he ONLY did not tell me how old he was because he knew he would have lost me and he doesn't want to lose me because he loves me very much.

I told him not to worry, that true love is not an age and that I love him very much. He is worried about me telling my mom, but she had already thought in the beginning that he was 35.

OMG! FINALLY I KNOW THE TRUTH! :D How did I get the truth outta him?

Well we got to talking about my past. He told me that he STILL does NOT understand why I went to Honduras and married the Catracho when I already knew he couldn't come back. He goes "Is there more to the story?"

Since he asked that I told him about the Immigration process and how the Catracho is waiting in Honduras for an answer to see if he can come back or not.

After that discussion he was really quiet but said "the past is your past" and that he still wants to be with me. So I get into bed and we are just about to hang up and say our "goodnight" when I say "Cele, can I ask you a question? Tell me, are you really 26 years old? Yes or no?"

He laughs nervously and I tell him "Can I tell you something then? I think, now I'm not sure, but I think that you are not 26 because you never tell me 'Yes, Megan I am or No Megan I'm not". You never say anything about it."

There's silence but I keep on talking and then finally he says "Okay, Megan. I tell you? Is it okay?"

I tell him "Yes! PLEASE tell me! I also told him again that true love has no age and maybe that he was worried about losing me, but that wasn't going to happen."

He goes "Okay, I tell you. But I want you to know that the only reason why I didn't tell you is because I didn't want to lose you and knew I would have if you had known."

He had a real hard time telling me so I got it out of him. I said: "I think that you are 30-something years old. Am I right?" He goes "Uh huh" and chuckles a bit. And then I say "35?" and he goes "OMG yes! You are right!"

He could not believe that I guessed his age right off the bat lol. Then he started crying saying how he knows I have to tell my mom but he feels as if he's disrespected my parents and me and that he doesn't deserve to show his face in my house ever again. He also asked me when I would tell my mom so he can be prepared if my parents say I can't ever see him again...and then he starts crying saying "He doesn't want to lose me" and that he's "never cried over any woman before" and that he "loves me", etc.

I tell him: "Cele you are NOT going to lose me. I love you so much and Cele, my parents are very accepting people. You don't know how I feel right now! I feel SO much better! My mom is NOT going to be mad, neither is my step dad. You have nothing to worry about. I understand why you lied and I forgive you."

He goes "You swear to me everything will be okay between us all?"

I tell him: "I swear to you."

We hung up as usual, laughing and everything like that. I can't believe this thing is FINALLY over! I don't even know if I'll be able to sleep tonight! :D

Just had to share that!

And I REALLY respect him for coming clean with me on his own instead of me seeing the I.D. and of coming clean that way.

He still told me that he his amigo DOES have his I.D., that that was not a lie and that he is going to get it back Saturday or Sunday and that he will still show me if I want.

My heart feels SO much better!

~Megan :o)

UPDATE: I also meant to say last night but forgot due to all the excitement lol, that I've been finding pennies, nickels and dimes around lately and I believe that my grandparents, or my grandma has been sending them to me (they passed in 2003 and 2004) and I really believe in stuff like that. One night I was making the bed for my mom and her and I were talking about Cele's age and what it could possibly be and I was making the bed I kept adjusting the covers and it didn't hit me until now but each time I adjusted the covers I found coins:

1 coin was a nickel, dated 2004. The other coin was a dime, dated 2000 and the last coin was a penny, which was dated 1972. (I have been finding 1970-dated pennies everywhere for a while, so I think my grandma was trying to tell me that Cele is indeed 30-something lol!)

Anyways, I put the "puzzle" or what have you together today and I think that the nickel and dime, well if you add from the year 2000 to 2004, that's 4 years right? Well FOUR DAYS ago I was making the bed when I found 'em and I found out 4 days later (last night) that he is 35.

And it's weird that the penny is 1972, which would be 36 but is CLOSE to 35.

Just wanted to share that! Bye! :D

NRT Insurance Training

2008-07-09T20:47:00.003-04:00

So I am happy to say that I finished up my training tonight and passed both tests!

*YAY!!!!* (too bad I didn't have one of those sound effects things that sounds like an applause lol!)

That's all I can update you on right now.

Tomorrow is Session Three and I'm kind of nervous. We will be doing "role play" and reading the scripts out loud to each other to see how we sound.

Two more sessions and I'll be making live calls . . . I hope! Fingers crossed! :D

The Dreaded I.D. Discussion

2008-07-09T14:53:00.003-04:00

No, this is NOT Cele's I.D. lol!!! :D

I decided to get a bit "creative" or what have you regarding the I.D. foto. Like it? Haha. I really didn't know I could pull something off like that! :)

Well, so Cele and I talked again about the I.D. I think he knows by now that I mean business. I mean what person wouldn't?

He knows that I'm not going to be putting this issue under the alfombra lol. I am not going to post word for word here what our discussion was, but I'll sum it up for you:

Me: So why can't you call that guy today and get the number today and call your friend today about the I.D.?

Him: Actually I already called that guy but he is not answering. I am going to try later on again. Remember I already told you that it would be 8 to 15 days.

Me: Umm actually Cele you told me that on Monday, July 7th. So that makes it...(me counting) so you have 12 days left.

Him: 12 days left until what? And then no more between you and me?

Thinking of whether I tell him that or just tell him we won't see each other until I hear he's got the I.D. in his hands . . . I decide not to be TOO mean lol.

Me: Now I didn't say it'd be over. We just won't see each other until you can show me the I.D.

Him: Wow.

Thinking MAYBE just MAYBE he is NOW getting the point. Learning that this gringa or guera means business.

Him: You really are in a hurry. Why?

Me: Because I am. It is important to me and you've had enough time already. You've had almost 6 months. That's A LOT of time. And 12 days is a lot of time too. Come on, Cele.

Him: *I hear him count the days*

Me: And don't be sad and don't cry, okay?

Him: No, I'm not. I'm fine.

So there was more to the I.D. discussion but nothing major that needs to be blogged about. I have to go take some tests for NRT Insurance which I PRAY I PASS!!!! Fingers crossed tightly everyone! (thanks!) :D

I'm counting down the days until this whole I.D. mess is over with. I told him flat out today that I think the reason why this I.D. thing has been a big deal is because of his age.

He told me "Well, you will see."

I also told him I know it has something to do with that because he doesn't come right out and say something like "No Megan, it's not my age." He just sits there in silence or says something but not directly related to my question.

Like above? "I will see". Hmm? See what exactly? That he is older than he says he is. I've told him a few times already that "Amor verdadero no tiene edad" ("True love has no age") and he goes "You know what? You are right."

I'm nervous guys about how old he really is! I also told him that IF he DOES NOT get his I.D. before the 12 days are up then it is going to be obvious to me that this relationship doesn't mean anything to him. That is when he got all quiet and started counting the days, I think that this relationship does mean something to him, I just think he is scared shytless with whatever he is hiding.

Like I always say, time will tell.

NRT Insurance and The Dreaded I.D.

2008-07-08T23:10:00.019-04:00

Okay, what shall I enlighten you with first? My job training with NRT Insurance or the Dreaded I.D.? I am sure you are wanting to know about the I.D. right? Well, I suppose I can get to that now.

Nothing new. Just that I AM NOT letting up on it. We talked about it again last night. I feel if I let up he will forget (he tends to forget things unless I remind him a lot). And you know what will happen if he forgets? It will be dragged under the rug and I'll just have to drag it back out again. *sigh* Es la vida.

So anyways, he asked me a couple questions last night regarding his I.D. His first question?

#1. When I show you my I.D. are you going to keep it?

Say what?! KEEP your I.D.? I told him "What are you crazy?! Why in the world would I keep your I.D.? It is YOUR I.D.! No, I'm not going to KEEP your I.D. I just want to see it, my God!"

His next question was . . .

#2. Are you going to put my I.D. on your computer just like you put everything else?

Say what?! Put your I.D. on my COMPUTER? I told him again "Cele are you crazy?! Why in the world would I put your I.D. on my computer? Your I.D. is something very private. I wouldn't put your I.D. on my computer and I sure as heck wouldn't put MY I.D. on my computer. I just want to see your I.D., nothing more."

I thought those were QUITE interesting questions to be asking! It seems to me that either he is still making excuses, hoping I will just say "forget it" or he really and truly is paranoid that I was going to keep his I.D. or put it on my computer. Come on now, Cele.

I asked him again today about him calling this guy to get his amigo's number that has the I.D. He tells me that he will be calling this guy this week and getting his amigo's number this week as well. I told him "And possibly getting the I.D. this week too?" He sighs and says "Yes, Megan."

My mom brings up a good point though. (among many other good points she's got!) She says that maybe since this relationship has prolonged itself for almost 6 months that each time I ask him for the I.D. it gets harder and harder for him because the more time that goes by and I haven't seen the I.D., that means the MORE time he has betrayed me with his age or whatever if that's the case. She makes a good and valid point, I'll tell ya that. :)

So this could be the week. I am quite a little bit nervous. I could find out many things, just one thing or even N-O-T-H-I-N-G this week. I tell ya one thing, if it turns out he is 26 because I AM SORRY but ANYTHING is possible in this life as far as I am concerned, well I am going to apologize to him until I am blue in the face haha and I will trust him until he does something to not make me trust him.

Many people have told me that the majority of Hispanics/Latinos/Mexicans are unfaithful, use drugs/drink/smoke, and disrespect their women and always lie and believe they are better than women.

I have dated 4 Mexicans (not including Cele), 2 Hondurans, and 1 Guatemalan. The only thing that I can tell you is based on my past relationships, not regarding future guys from Mexico, Honduras, Guatemala, etc.

The 4 Mexicans that I dated (again, not including Cele) well, the 1st one was too old for me. The second one was immature and who-knows-what-else, the third one was semi-decent but a bit of a work-a-holic and the fourth one, well was much older as well and well, I don't know why I was with him. I know if I hadn't been, I don't believe I would have been open to meeting Cele. So thanks Viejo! (You do know I'm talking about José, right?) Ugh. :o/

With the Hondurans, the first one I went back and forth with from 2003 until 2006. Then I married him in 2007 and broke it off a little after a year after being married. The other Honduran had a Mexico I.D. believe it or not and threatened to hit me because I wanted to be with the 1st Honduran instead of him.

The Guatemalan first told me he was from Mexico because "everyone likes Mexicans" he said. He was nice but some sort of a rebound, I guess you could say.

Anyways, my point out of all this is: Just because I have had not-so-good experiences with Mexicans and Hondurans, DOES NOT mean that all Mexicans and Hondurans are the same. What about other ethnicities? Caucasians? African Americans? Chinese? Philippians? Muslims? The list goes on and on.

I will tell you: I used to say "Oh I will NEVER date or be with another Mexican again."

Well since that statement, I have been. And yes, I've been hurt. But that doesn't mean I am just going to give up on Mexicans or Hispanics/Latinos altogether just because there seems to be some kind of "pattern" with them.

I often catch myself saying "I will NEVER be with another Honduran again." But I don't know that. I might just fall in love with someone from Honduras someday, Mexico, or even someone who is from here. But my preference is Mexican/Latino/Hispanic in case you haven't figured that out already haha. :D

In closing with this topic, this is my belief: Everyone comes from a different culture and family. Everyone has a different belief system and has certain morals.

I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but in the end, we are responsible for who we become.

In the end, we always have a choice: To choose Path A, the not-so-good or bad path; or Path B, the innocent or good path.

In the end, the choice is up to you or to that person. Just because I have had bad experiences with Hispanics does NOT mean that they are ALL like that, that would be like stereotyping, and that's not right. There is a good person, whether Mexican/Hispanic/Latino or not out there who is not perfect by no means, but just about all the time chooses the "good path" and does not believe in cheating, lying or disrespecting women or others and will love someone and treat them like a queen.

Bottomline: Everybody's different.

Okay, onto my NRT Insurance! I trained with them today and watched a presentation while on a conference call with 'em. It went surprisingly well! It was MUCH better than the two trainings I had with the 2 companies recently. I am extremely impressed with their training techniques and company and it felt like REAL training this time lol! It was a good move and I thank God I met Alice, a Godsend who put a word in for me with the company and gave me the information to apply. Thank you Alice! (though I don't think she will ever read this)

Tomorrow all day I will be doing some job testing and then it is back on a conference call with more job training Thursday afternoon. Some people got their phones and headsets overnighted to them today, but unfortunately a couple didn't (and I'm one of them) because I still have to fiddle with some paperwork, so there will be a delay but not a long one I hope!

I am hoping to be finished with training and starting my job by next week! Fingers crossed! :D

As for college, haven't heard anything yet. Fingers crossed for that too! :D

And as for the other company, Westat, haven't heard anything yet. :( Fingers crossed for that as well!

Could This Finally Be The End?

2008-07-07T00:38:00.005-04:00

Don't ask why I put this pic lol. I just wanted to find something "Mexican-ish" that was related to this whole I.D. charade and quick because I am SO ready for bed.

So I think I will call mi novio Cele, like mi amiga Lisita suggests. The Chivito was nice while it lasted but I like Cele better. Plus, it is quicker to type haha!

Anyways, Cele and I had a nice and interesting chat this evening. Of course, lloró which of course, made me feel bad. But what I told him had to be said. This is just about how our convo went:

Him: So what are you thinking?

Me: About you, of course. And other things. *sigh*

Him: Me too.

Me: You think of other things too? Like what?

Him: I think of you and el amor.

Me: Oh, I think of those things too, but I am talking about other things.

Him: Like what kind of things?

Me: I already told you, Cele. You don't remember?

Him: The same thing that we have been talking about lately?

Me: Yes. You have to understand that it is really important to me that I see SOME FORM of identification from you.

The convo keeps progressing on and somewhat becomes a bit heated.

Him: But why are you asking for my birth certificate? Is it because you want to see if I'm married so then we can get married?

Confused because I didn't KNOW that a birth certificate from Mexico shows if you are hitched or not.

Me: No, I have thought about marriage with you, but that's someday, not now. And I already told you before I can't marry you because I have to divorce my husband, ex-husband, whatever you want to call him first.

Him: Mm hm. But why are you asking for identification all of a sudden? Is it because of your amigas that wrote to you on your blog?

Me: No, not at all. I have had these thoughts in the beginning of our relationship and this is NOT the first time that I've asked for your I.D.

Him: Well, I think it is because of your amigas. And this is so the first time you've asked me for my I.D.

Me: Whoa, no it is NOT. I asked you in the beginning of our relationship and you told me 'okay I'll bring it to show you'. I waited for it, but no I.D. Then I asked for it again and you told me that your amigo had it and that you'd ask for it back or wait for him to bring it back to you. I waited again, no I.D. I asked for it a third time and that time we were sitting on my couch and you told me that it is very possible that your amigo lost your I.D. and that you would call Mexico and ask for your birth certificate.

Me: And another thing, the only reason why I'm asking you for your birth certificate is because you said your amigo lost your I.D.

Him: But I never told you that he lost it.

Me: *shocked* Uh, yeah ya did. You told me that it is very possible that he lost it and that's where the birth certificate discussion came in.

Him: Mm hm.

Of course at this point he starts crying a little bit.

Me: Don't cry, Cele.

Him: Megan, you already know how I am. I am sentimental. The things you have said to me make me feel bad. I have never cried for a woman before, only you and I don't know why. The only thing I do know is that I love you.

Me: I love you too, Cele. And you may not believe me, but I do. I just -- I wish you understood me. The thing is --

Him: What?

Me: I don't really know how to tell you.

Him: Tell me.

Me: The thing is -- is that -- well, sometimes I think that it is possible that you are older than 26 because you respect me much better than my ex-boyfriends.

Him: Your ex-boyfriends didn't respect you?

Me: No, you are the first one.

Him: In what way didn't they respect you?

Do ya see how he immediately changed the subject here?

Me: They would say that they were going to do something, like call me or see me, and they didn't do it.

Him: But I don't know that.

Me: What do you mean YOU don't know that? I do.

Him: But I don't know your ex-boyfriends and how they treated you.

Me: Oh my God Cele! You are NOT understanding me.

Him: I do understand you. It is just that we are different. Very different. In Mexico, a guy is with his girlfriend and she doesn't ask to show proof of who he is and she doesn't ask a lot of questions.

Me: Does that bother you that we are different?

Him: I just don't like to argue, I don't like how I feel when I argue.

Me: Me neither. It's just that you know everything about me: You know my parents, you know that I am married to someone in Honduras but that we are not together anymore, you know that I have no kids, you know that I am 23...you know everything about me.

Him: No, I don't know everything about you. What about that one time in your room when I found a book and you wouldn't let me read it?

Me: I already told you, Cele. It was my personal diary.

Him: But what was in it? I don't know what was in it?

Me: I already told you. I wrote stuff in there about my past and about my ex-boyfriends.

Him: Mm hm. Well why do you want to know my past? I don't ask you questions about your past? What happened, happened. It's my past.

Me: Ah, so are you saying that something happened in your past that you don't want me to know about? Is that what you are saying?

Him: No. Nothing happened in my past.

Me: I don't know, Cele. I don't think that you understand me.

Him: No, I do understand you. I just don't understand WHY you want to see my I.D. I haven't seen your I.D.

Me: Umm, excuse me? Yeah, ya have.

Him: Well not very good.

Me: Well Cele, I have NO problem showing you my I.D. and I'll show it to you anytime you like. And if you want to see my birth certificate, well you know that it is in Honduras, but I'll call up New York and get another one for you to see. You say that you love me, and I believe you, but actions speak louder than words.

Him: Mm hm.

Me: I just don't understand WHAT is the big problem with showing me your I.D.? I know you don't have any secrets, so what is the big deal? To me it seems as if you might have secrets.

Him: I don't have any secrets.

Me: Then what is the big problem?

Him: Mm hm. You're right.

*silence*

Him: I am going to find my amigo and get my I.D. to show you so we can stop arguing over this. Because I see if I don't, we are going to keep arguing over the same thing and I don't know what will happen between us.

Me: Okay. Thank you and don't be sad. I love you and I want to be with you.

And a few other things were said but I can't remember 'em right now. That is pretty much how our convo went. He told me "Adios" and he told me that I can call him tomorrow if I wanted. About a 1/2 hour later, guess who calls me up? Cele! LOL I must say that our spats are quite relaxing than the ones I've had with the Catracho!

So Cele says that he is going to get this I.D. Am I nervous? YES! Will I feel like a complete a$$ if it turns out that he IS 26 and that maybe he just looks and acts older? OMG, yes!

Like I have been saying all along, time will tell and it better be SOON because I am SURE getting impatient! :o/

Lots Of Eggs! *** UPDATED 7/6/08

2008-07-06T19:40:00.001-04:00

So here it is.....a list of ALL the companies that I have applied with so far! I will update this periodically so IF you see this blog appear many times as the first one it is b/c I updated it and the title will be something like this:

Lots Of Eggs! ***UPDATED #/#/08

THE KEY:

T = Training
RQ = Request for Interview
TR = Employed and working for them
W = Waiting to hear something
WL = On the waiting list
AP = Going through application process still
X = No luck/Turned it down

THE COMPANIES:

X 1. Arise
W 2. West @ Home
AP 3. Westat
X 4. Alpine Access
W 5. OnPoint @ Home
T 6. ChaCha
WL7. Great American Opportunities
X 8. Lifebushido
X 9. Savannah Communications
X 10. Sutherland @ Home
X 11. Cloud10
X 12. Diamond Prize Center
W 13. AdviseTech
W 14. CLC
W 15. LiveOps
W 16. ACD Direct
AP 17. ARO
X 18. Google
X 19. Prime Processors, Inc. *Note: Read the forum if you are considering this job, after you might not want to!!!
X 20. Rey Rey
AP 21. NRT Insurance
X 22. Profinity

My "eggs" so far: Westat, NRT Insurance, ChaCha (if I decide to pursue it) and possibly ARO, since I will be applying this evening or tomorrow.

Going Private . . . For Now

2008-07-05T19:24:00.003-04:00

Well someone on here made a comment to me and you know something? They are right and I appreciate them commenting and saying what they did about revealing too much stuff in this blog along with pics and stuff.

So thank you! (you know who you are) :)

To end this blog post quickly because I have other things to do lol, if ANYONE wants to read this blog and get updates PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact me and I will "let you in" so to speak!

Thank you and if all goes well, then this blog will be staying private. IF not, well then I will just edit names and any other information. Maybe I should just do that? I hate to go private b/c I appreciate the outside world's comments and opinions...well, for now this blog is staying private.

UPDATE: I have decided that since I had a few people write to me asking me to keep my blog not private, well I'm am going to keep it public. I have just changed the names and there is a key on the side of my blog to help you out, but it is pretty easy lol to figure out just who I am talking about.