A Confession and A Misunderstanding

So this blog is about two things: A Confession and A Misunderstanding. Hey, now remember: I'm NOT perfect! :)

So Cele and I were chatting today on the phone and everything was going great until he mentioned he might be working somewhere else tomorrow but if not he will be coming to see me. Okay....well I asked him where he was going to be working.

He goes "You know, over there."

I said "No, I don't. Where?"

And I had a curious tone about me because after all, I was curious because he did not tell me.

He goes "You know, over there. Near my house."

I felt sick because I knew he had applied where that jack a$$ Jose works (or used to because honestly, who knows if he does work there anymore) (if you don't know or remember him, check out my previous blogs) :)

Anyways, I asked Cele "Did you apply there before?"

He tells me "Oh yeah, a LONGGG time ago." Oh no, it must be where Jose works.

I mentioned the name of the company and he tells me "No, that's not it." Well okay then, I feel better.

He asked me why I was so worried. I came clean (kind of) and told him that if he were to work with Jose or even come across him then he would know how I caused Jose problems with his wife. And no, my readers do NOT know about these problems that I caused.

Guess it is time ya'll do, hm? They weren't BAD problems, just a BIG lie that last a few weeks and then ended.

You see, when I found out that Jose was LYING to me from day 1, well I was pissed. Usually I would just let the b*stard get away with it, but this time, no. Something had to be done. I was tired of being walked allll over. So I called him up and told him that I thought I was pregnant. I know, I know. A terrible, terrible lie. But I did.

(Cele doesn't know this by the way, and really, is it any of his business? The only thing he DOES know is that I caused problems for Jose. But he doesn't know how I did. It's the past, but he tells me he wants to know...more about WHAT ELSE he said later.)

So anyways, Jose cannot believe what I am telling him and we hang up after I tell him I don't know what I am going to do. And trust me, since I have a heart, I DID feel bad lying to him about that.

His wife calls me back and says "What do you want with Jose now?" I told her that "Listen, I don't want anything with him." Then she asked me "Well then why did you call him?" I told her "Because I think I'm pregnant."

She goes "You're pregnant." Hey, she said it so in a way I "confirmed" it and just said "Yeah." She went on and on and told me that Jose just left the house and took the truck, probably looking for me she said, and that he did not tell her where he was going. She was basically accusing me of telling him to come to my house, yeah right. She then told me that she was going to call the police on him, blah blah blah and that I need to go look for him or call the police on him myself and get some money for the baby.

We hung up and that was that. Jose came to my house and we spent that last night talking. It was January 19th and I remember his wife called my cell phone about 20 times. He told me not to answer it. I really felt that he wanted to be with me and not her, that he was choosing me. I know, naive and stupid of me, but at the time I thought that I wanted to be with him. Then he tells me in the morning that he didn't want to be with me or her. He wanted to be solito to think things through and to just, well think.

I had felt used all over again. He took me to work that morning and didn't even kiss or hug me good-bye. I remember getting out of the truck and shaking my head as I left him, what a loser and a user!

I remember I drank a whole bottle of water while listening to what rooms had to be cleaned that morning, thank God I could occupy my mind with that.

I think that I talked to Jose again about a week after that and told him that I had "lost the baby." He told me that it was a lie. I told him that it was true. And that was that. I also told his wife the same thing, especially when her sister wanted to bring me to my Dr's appointment! Ha! It was turning into a soap opera toooo quickly. That is NOT who I am, so I had to end it and in order to do that, I had to say one more lie and tell them both that I had "lost the baby." I hated doing it but it was better than prolonging the lie.

Besides I wanted NOTHING to do with Jose ever again.

So that's my confession. I know it was a terrible thing to do, but the ONLY reason why I did it was NOT to get Jose. It was to prove to his wife that he WAS sleeping with me because I KNEW he wouldn't have the balls to tell her the truth and I wanted her to know what a SCUM Jose really was.

Stupid, I know.

And now, Cele wants to know how I caused problems with Jose. I'm afraid if I tell him he's going to be the type to think that I'm lying about being pregnant or something like that...but that is REALLY stupid because we heard the heartbeat and we saw the baby on the screen! NO FAKING THAT! :D

Then I'm thinking is it really any of Cele's business? I mean, the past is the past, right?

Let me know if I should be honest with him or not. I mean I'm just thinking that someday he's going to come across Jose somehow SOME WAY and Jose might look at our child and be like "Is that mine?" or something or other since he NEVER believed me that I "lost" the baby I lied to him about.

Or should I just leave it be. I think if I DO tell Cele the truth he has NO reason to react in a bad way, that is the past right? Right.

As for the MISUNDERSTANDING part of this blog, well I thought that Cele told me that if he doesn't like what I did to Jose I could lose him! My hormones are catching up to me, I can feel it because I feel like they are jumping all over the place.

So what does everyone think? Please don't think less of me. What I did could have been MUCH worse and it does NOT make me less of a person. :/