Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
My Review of Delta Jenny Lind 3-in-1 Convertible Crib - White
From Infant Crib to Toddler Bed, this Jenny Lind crib from Delta Luvs brings timeless elegance to any nursery, featuring traditional colonial styling and a solid wood frame with fully-turned spindles in a beautiful white finish. The Crib features patented safe sturdy construction with no tools nee...
More Than What I Had Expected!
Megan the First Time Mommy Savannah, GA 5/27/2009
Pros: Durable, Stable, Easily Assembled, Sturdy, Easy To Clean
Cons: Rough paint texture
Best Uses: Infants, Toddlers, Preemies, Newborn
Describe Yourself: First Time Parent
I have not used the crib YET but will soon as our baby will be coming in about 2 months! This crib is more worth it than I thought it would be! It was TOO easy to put together, no instructions were needed...I don't know if that is because of the crib itself or my smart boyfriend! (he knew where to put all the pieces without even looking at the instructions!) Overall it is sturdy and really great product! Cannot wait for our baby to try it out! :)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Haven't Written In A While . . .
. . . and I apologize to all my Blogger friends and readers! I have not been a very loyal Blogger, so I hope you all can forgive me. This pregnancy can really get the best of me at times and I can, well I have to admit that I can be SO lazy LOL!
I do not have that much new news, but here we go.
Remember the Immigration process I was going through with my ex-husband? (Yes, you read right! EX! I'll explain that in a minute...) Well anyways, he was denied and cannot come back to the U.S. unless he crosses that border himself.
I was a bit disappointed AT FIRST because of ALLLLL the money that was put into the process, but sabes que? That disappointment went away fast and I realized that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I truly believe that. And I am happy that he was denied.
Now onto the explanation! Turns out his divorce lawyer told him that him and I are NO LONGER married! (as of January 2009!) There is a law in Honduras that states something like since we haven't had physical contact in TWO YEARS our marriage is basically null and void. Interesting, and yet surprising! So right now, I am NOT married!
STILL, since I [stupidly] changed my name here in the U.S., I have to wait for paperwork with an apostille (a special seal so it will be valid here in the U.S.) in the mail and God knows how LONG that will take! But it will be worth the wait! :)
Okay, what else can I tell you? Baby Salazar is doing fine. No names have been picked out yet. We have a list but have decided to keep it private UNTIL the day baby comes, and then EVERYONE will know his name!
Ah, I do have more news, but it is on Cele's side. Remember his situation? The other woman back in Mexico? Well the TRUTH has finally come out. Now we call her his "ex" because she FINALLY knows everything!
Thankfully all she does is yell at him on the phone each time he talks to her to ask to speak with his kids. I thought FOR SURE she might have pulled something like preventing him from speaking with his kids. Thank God she is smart and realizes if she did that, well that wouldn't be too smart of her because she needs his $$$ to help her support those kids.
Do I feel bad for her? Of course! It is NOT her fault, actually it is in a way BOTH mine and Cele's fault. I knew he had another woman back in Mexico, but I let love get in the way, and kept pursuing the relationship on.
But I told him: "Someday Cele, she WILL find out the truth. All of it. Whether YOU tell her, someone in your family tells her, or she just hears it through the grapevine."
And that certainly wasn't a threat. Not at all. That is how life is. You lie, and whether it is a major or minor lie, it comes back. Maybe not right away. It could be a week from when you told the lie or less, or it could be years before the truth comes out. Bottom line: The truth WILL come out.
He acts better now though. I see a change in him, a BIG one. Even though there WERE some obstacles in the way of our relationship, well I couldn't ask for a better guy.
He spent four days with me and my family and his true colors really showed through. He is so sweet and not to mention HELPFUL! Our relationship is 50/50, which I love, and I really am happy. Sure, I might not feel well and need my space at times (as most of us do, right?) but overall, I really am happy. Just have my moods sometimes. But as a Cappy, that's just how it is LOL.
Well, one more new piece of new news! I've been accepted to a new college and even though it is only for 9 months, I am SO excited! I finally get to study Medical Transcription again and after 9 months I will be able to find employment at home! (they have job placement and everything!)
So needless to say I feel as though I am being given another chance and this time I am NOT going to screw it up! :)
Well that's all for now! I hope everyone is doing good and again . . .
Can you PLEASE forgive me? Perdoname? Please?
~Megan :)
I do not have that much new news, but here we go.
Remember the Immigration process I was going through with my ex-husband? (Yes, you read right! EX! I'll explain that in a minute...) Well anyways, he was denied and cannot come back to the U.S. unless he crosses that border himself.
I was a bit disappointed AT FIRST because of ALLLLL the money that was put into the process, but sabes que? That disappointment went away fast and I realized that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I truly believe that. And I am happy that he was denied.
Now onto the explanation! Turns out his divorce lawyer told him that him and I are NO LONGER married! (as of January 2009!) There is a law in Honduras that states something like since we haven't had physical contact in TWO YEARS our marriage is basically null and void. Interesting, and yet surprising! So right now, I am NOT married!
STILL, since I [stupidly] changed my name here in the U.S., I have to wait for paperwork with an apostille (a special seal so it will be valid here in the U.S.) in the mail and God knows how LONG that will take! But it will be worth the wait! :)
Okay, what else can I tell you? Baby Salazar is doing fine. No names have been picked out yet. We have a list but have decided to keep it private UNTIL the day baby comes, and then EVERYONE will know his name!
Ah, I do have more news, but it is on Cele's side. Remember his situation? The other woman back in Mexico? Well the TRUTH has finally come out. Now we call her his "ex" because she FINALLY knows everything!
Thankfully all she does is yell at him on the phone each time he talks to her to ask to speak with his kids. I thought FOR SURE she might have pulled something like preventing him from speaking with his kids. Thank God she is smart and realizes if she did that, well that wouldn't be too smart of her because she needs his $$$ to help her support those kids.
Do I feel bad for her? Of course! It is NOT her fault, actually it is in a way BOTH mine and Cele's fault. I knew he had another woman back in Mexico, but I let love get in the way, and kept pursuing the relationship on.
But I told him: "Someday Cele, she WILL find out the truth. All of it. Whether YOU tell her, someone in your family tells her, or she just hears it through the grapevine."
And that certainly wasn't a threat. Not at all. That is how life is. You lie, and whether it is a major or minor lie, it comes back. Maybe not right away. It could be a week from when you told the lie or less, or it could be years before the truth comes out. Bottom line: The truth WILL come out.
He acts better now though. I see a change in him, a BIG one. Even though there WERE some obstacles in the way of our relationship, well I couldn't ask for a better guy.
He spent four days with me and my family and his true colors really showed through. He is so sweet and not to mention HELPFUL! Our relationship is 50/50, which I love, and I really am happy. Sure, I might not feel well and need my space at times (as most of us do, right?) but overall, I really am happy. Just have my moods sometimes. But as a Cappy, that's just how it is LOL.
Well, one more new piece of new news! I've been accepted to a new college and even though it is only for 9 months, I am SO excited! I finally get to study Medical Transcription again and after 9 months I will be able to find employment at home! (they have job placement and everything!)
So needless to say I feel as though I am being given another chance and this time I am NOT going to screw it up! :)
Well that's all for now! I hope everyone is doing good and again . . .
Can you PLEASE forgive me? Perdoname? Please?
~Megan :)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My Review of Da Vinci Jenny Lind Changer in White
Classic Jenny Lind changing table comes with two shelves, a safety belt, changer pad, and metal support bracket underneath top shelf for added safety.
Just set it up last night!
Megan, Soon-To-Be Mommy Savannah, GA 5/7/2009
Pros: Sturdy, Easy to Assemble, Cleans Easily
Cons: Scratches Easily
Best Uses: Newborn, Preemies, Infants
Describe Yourself: First Time Parent
I have not used the product yet, but to me it looks like a good and safe one. At first, the directions were a bit confusing, as there are only pictures shown with few written-out directions. But after a while, I was not confused anymore and it became easier. (note: towards the end though, for ME, it got harder again) I feel that it is overall a sturdy changing table and worth the price, though putting it together I was not sure. After seeing the end result though, I am satisfied and cannot wait to use it in a few months, when baby will come! Overall, it really is a pretty piece. :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Okay, the new blog is up!
I was a bit bad, as I gave you the wrong page on purpose lol!
But here is the link! It is up and ready! Hope you all enjoy it!!
http://bebesalazar.blogspot.com/
But here is the link! It is up and ready! Hope you all enjoy it!!
http://bebesalazar.blogspot.com/
Monday, March 23, 2009
As Most Of My Readers Know . . .
Tomorrow is the BIG day! Cele and I will be finding out whether our baby is a little niño (boy) or a little niña (girl). Me and him are both hoping for a niña, but of course a little niño is always welcome too! :D (It would just be extra special if it were a girl though, because it would be Cele's first and he already has three boys lol!) But regardless we want the baby to be healthy no matter what the gender and it STILL IS his first baby with moi! lol! :)
Not much to update on, really. Just that I have set up and created a new Blogger blog for Baby Salazar and THAT is where you will see the news of what Baby Salazar is tomorrow! I was thinking of some kind of way to surprise every one of my readers and show them in a creative-type way I guess you could say, that Baby Salazar is a boy or a girl.
Sooo whenever you are ready, click on this page http://bebesalazar.blogspot.com/. IF the page is in pink, then it's a niña! IF the page is in blue, then obviously it is a niño!
HOWEVER: IF the page says it is under SOME kind of construction or that it is not valid or whatever, that means that I have not posted the news yet and you must be a little bit more patient! ;)
Until then!
~Meg
Not much to update on, really. Just that I have set up and created a new Blogger blog for Baby Salazar and THAT is where you will see the news of what Baby Salazar is tomorrow! I was thinking of some kind of way to surprise every one of my readers and show them in a creative-type way I guess you could say, that Baby Salazar is a boy or a girl.
Sooo whenever you are ready, click on this page http://bebesalazar.blogspot.com/. IF the page is in pink, then it's a niña! IF the page is in blue, then obviously it is a niño!
HOWEVER: IF the page says it is under SOME kind of construction or that it is not valid or whatever, that means that I have not posted the news yet and you must be a little bit more patient! ;)
Until then!
~Meg
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
UPDATE: My Dr's Appt! :)
It went well. I had a urine test done as usual, blood pressure taken, and weight checked.
Then we got to hear the heartbeat again! It was just my mom and me this time, as Cele had to work, but it was nice. The heartbeat was even louder this time and stronger. Our Dr. says that it was a very good heartbeat.
He also said that my pregnancy is progressing extremely well and that there are NO problems. He also says that I'm gaining weight just at the right speed and that he doesn't want me gaining to much weight lol. Good thing, as my appetite is VERY low as it is haha, so that works out good. He told me that is normal though and that by 20 weeks the appetite will be picking up its speed.
Urine test was negative for any infection, blood pressure was normal (as it always has been thank God) and as I said before I had lost weight in my first trimester but have gained back what I lost in the second trimester. Lovely, but I'm still progressing well. So overall, NO complaints! :)
I received some nice samples today, my Dr's office is awesome! I received a new magazine called New Parents, a Target Baby Registry book, and a kit called "The First Trimester Kit." Too bad I didn't have that when I was actually in the 1st trimester but that's okay, as it came with a book called "Conception To Birth" which shows pictures of what the embryo and fetus look like as it develops and it tells what happens each month. It is quite cool, so its all good. As they say, "Good things come to those who wait."
Speaking of waiting....we'll find out what the gender is when I am 20 weeks. Blah. I was SO hoping sooner, but ultrasounds cost money as everyone knows, sooo I'm assuming it is THAT reason AS WELL AS my Dr. wants to be really SURE when he says if it is a girl or boy. Cele thinks it is a girl, my mom thinks that it is a girl, amigas that I know think that it is a girl, but me? I have NO idea lol! :) Either one is fine with me, just want the baby to be healthy! :)
But my next appointment is in March and I will update you about more then. I will be having genetic testing done, which is a blood test, and it will be telling me if the baby has any neural tube defects. I am sure all will be well though :)
Ta ta for now! :)
Then we got to hear the heartbeat again! It was just my mom and me this time, as Cele had to work, but it was nice. The heartbeat was even louder this time and stronger. Our Dr. says that it was a very good heartbeat.
He also said that my pregnancy is progressing extremely well and that there are NO problems. He also says that I'm gaining weight just at the right speed and that he doesn't want me gaining to much weight lol. Good thing, as my appetite is VERY low as it is haha, so that works out good. He told me that is normal though and that by 20 weeks the appetite will be picking up its speed.
Urine test was negative for any infection, blood pressure was normal (as it always has been thank God) and as I said before I had lost weight in my first trimester but have gained back what I lost in the second trimester. Lovely, but I'm still progressing well. So overall, NO complaints! :)
I received some nice samples today, my Dr's office is awesome! I received a new magazine called New Parents, a Target Baby Registry book, and a kit called "The First Trimester Kit." Too bad I didn't have that when I was actually in the 1st trimester but that's okay, as it came with a book called "Conception To Birth" which shows pictures of what the embryo and fetus look like as it develops and it tells what happens each month. It is quite cool, so its all good. As they say, "Good things come to those who wait."
Speaking of waiting....we'll find out what the gender is when I am 20 weeks. Blah. I was SO hoping sooner, but ultrasounds cost money as everyone knows, sooo I'm assuming it is THAT reason AS WELL AS my Dr. wants to be really SURE when he says if it is a girl or boy. Cele thinks it is a girl, my mom thinks that it is a girl, amigas that I know think that it is a girl, but me? I have NO idea lol! :) Either one is fine with me, just want the baby to be healthy! :)
But my next appointment is in March and I will update you about more then. I will be having genetic testing done, which is a blood test, and it will be telling me if the baby has any neural tube defects. I am sure all will be well though :)
Ta ta for now! :)
Friday, February 20, 2009
I don't really have a title for this one. All I can say is that an agreement has been made and I am happy about it and so is Cele.
Real quick, as I don't feel like blogging for TOO long, but Cele and I had a serious talk today and I'm proud to say that my hormones did NOT get in the way and I was not irrational jajaja. :)
The decision: Cele is NOT going back to Mexico...until...AFTER the baby is born. I told him "I don't want you going back to Mexico at all, Cele, BUT if I HAD to choose between you going BEFORE the baby is born or AFTER, I would choose after because I want you to know your baby. So for me, could you PLEASE stay here and then go back to Mexico to fix your stuff AFTER the baby is born?"
We really had an easy talk and I find it more easier to talk to him when I'm not "all out of control" with my emotions. He agreed and even promised me. I believe him too. He even told me that that was the best idea and he had been thinking about it.
So that's that then. Let's hope and pray that Cele does NOT go back to Mexico at all and just ends up spilling all his news on the phone instead! Whatever happens, happens though. It will all work out in the end, somehow some way. :)
Real quick, as I don't feel like blogging for TOO long, but Cele and I had a serious talk today and I'm proud to say that my hormones did NOT get in the way and I was not irrational jajaja. :)
The decision: Cele is NOT going back to Mexico...until...AFTER the baby is born. I told him "I don't want you going back to Mexico at all, Cele, BUT if I HAD to choose between you going BEFORE the baby is born or AFTER, I would choose after because I want you to know your baby. So for me, could you PLEASE stay here and then go back to Mexico to fix your stuff AFTER the baby is born?"
We really had an easy talk and I find it more easier to talk to him when I'm not "all out of control" with my emotions. He agreed and even promised me. I believe him too. He even told me that that was the best idea and he had been thinking about it.
So that's that then. Let's hope and pray that Cele does NOT go back to Mexico at all and just ends up spilling all his news on the phone instead! Whatever happens, happens though. It will all work out in the end, somehow some way. :)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I Feel Very Solita En Este Embarazo :'o(
I feel very alone in this pregnancy. I feel like Cele does not want to be involved or whatever. I mean the GUY wants to WAIT until he tells Lucia and his 3 kids when he decides to go back to Mexico and THEN we'll make plans to move in together. I feel like everything is on HIS terms when in reality shouldn't it be on OUR terms? Shouldn't we be making decisions about this together?
I know he cares about this baby and loves him or her, he has told me so many times. And I know he loves me. But ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I told him last night, well here's how the conversation went:
Him: Megan? You don't sound right. What's wrong?
Me: Well, I don't know if that's really the word for it. But there is something wrong. I really
wanted to tell you this on Valentine's Day but Valentine's Day is supposed to be a really
nice day, so I decided not to tell you but well, I feel very alone in this pregnancy.
Him: *silence*
He didn't even say ANYTHING except:
Him: So is that why you acted that way on Valentine's Day towards me?
Me: Well yeah, I guess. Yeah.
Him: *more silence*
WHY DOESN'T THIS GUY TALK? He has told me many times in the past that he does NOT talk, well it is TIME HE DOES.
I feel like I don't know WHAT he wants. I wish he would just open up to me. I honestly do NOT care if we were to live together and he had to keep talking to Lucia. I don't. What I care MORE about is our baby having TWO parents in the same home.
My mom has a new rule now, do I agree with it? I think it is KIND OF stupid as it will be affecting her grandchild and me, BUT THEN AGAIN, I see her point: Cele CANNOT come over to the house UNLESS an adult (my stepdad or my mom) is present. I know, I know. Kind of silly as I am already pregnant and I AM a gosh-darn adult. The thing is that she doesn't want me and Cele having sex in the house, she thinks that makes it too easy for him.
I agree with her BUT THEN I don't agree. WHAT is going to happen when this baby is born and Cele wants to see the child? He has to WAIT until Saturday or Sunday or my stepdad has a day off (which is every 2 weeks a month)? That is damaging to the child I think.
What I would like is to find my own place, but right now, that is just not practical. Even if I was working, you know???
I just wish there was SOME way that Cele would "step up to the plate" so-to-speak. He goes to each Dr's appt with me though, so I don't know. Is it my hormones once again?
I'm just SO damn sad! :( I need advice people! And I'll write to the ppl who commented me recently VERY SOON! :)
I know he cares about this baby and loves him or her, he has told me so many times. And I know he loves me. But ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I told him last night, well here's how the conversation went:
Him: Megan? You don't sound right. What's wrong?
Me: Well, I don't know if that's really the word for it. But there is something wrong. I really
wanted to tell you this on Valentine's Day but Valentine's Day is supposed to be a really
nice day, so I decided not to tell you but well, I feel very alone in this pregnancy.
Him: *silence*
He didn't even say ANYTHING except:
Him: So is that why you acted that way on Valentine's Day towards me?
Me: Well yeah, I guess. Yeah.
Him: *more silence*
WHY DOESN'T THIS GUY TALK? He has told me many times in the past that he does NOT talk, well it is TIME HE DOES.
I feel like I don't know WHAT he wants. I wish he would just open up to me. I honestly do NOT care if we were to live together and he had to keep talking to Lucia. I don't. What I care MORE about is our baby having TWO parents in the same home.
My mom has a new rule now, do I agree with it? I think it is KIND OF stupid as it will be affecting her grandchild and me, BUT THEN AGAIN, I see her point: Cele CANNOT come over to the house UNLESS an adult (my stepdad or my mom) is present. I know, I know. Kind of silly as I am already pregnant and I AM a gosh-darn adult. The thing is that she doesn't want me and Cele having sex in the house, she thinks that makes it too easy for him.
I agree with her BUT THEN I don't agree. WHAT is going to happen when this baby is born and Cele wants to see the child? He has to WAIT until Saturday or Sunday or my stepdad has a day off (which is every 2 weeks a month)? That is damaging to the child I think.
What I would like is to find my own place, but right now, that is just not practical. Even if I was working, you know???
I just wish there was SOME way that Cele would "step up to the plate" so-to-speak. He goes to each Dr's appt with me though, so I don't know. Is it my hormones once again?
I'm just SO damn sad! :( I need advice people! And I'll write to the ppl who commented me recently VERY SOON! :)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Ok! I Need ALL Opinions!
Don't you just LOVE the drama-filled life I lead? Well, I guess it could be MUCH worse eh? So anyways, I'm making this post quick and I will be responding to my readers' comments soon too!
So me and Cele have been going back and forth on this and back and forth some more. There is NO convincing him! What about you ask? Welllll, just tell me who is right and what would you do if you were me?
Now, you all know about Lucia, his soon-to-be ex girlfriend back in Mexico. Cele's been with her for 12 years and has 3 kids with her. Remember? Well, this is what Cele wants to do and then I'll tell you what I want to do.
Cele's View: He wants me to live with my parents after the baby is born and he will come visit our baby a few times a week or more (depending on my mom's rules). Meanwhile, he will be planning a trip back to Mexico to break the news to Lucia, his children and his parents that he wants to stay with me and about our baby etc. etc. Then after he returns from Mexico, he wants us all to be a family and live together. He says that IF we lived together BEFORE he goes back to Mexico he is worried about a few things: #1 he does not think it is fair to me if we all live together and he talks to Lucia, #2 he doesn't want to leave me alone in our place when he goes back to Mexico, he wants me to be all safe with my parents.
Okay, now as I'm writing this I just don't know if I trust the situation. I trust him just not the situation. After all the hurt I've been through I'm just afraid that I'll lose him. He assures me that I will not and that he will be gone for 2 months (or a little bit less) and then he will return and we'll live together (him, me and the baby) as a family.
Okay, so now what I would like to happen but now that I wrote his point-of-view out, maybe my idea is not so realistic after all.
My View: For me and Cele to start planning to find somewhere for us to live and then we move in together BEFORE baby comes. I feel that that is the right thing because Cele will miss a lot if he is not living with the baby: The baby's first word, when he or she first walks, etc. AND what about communication with the baby? I'm thinking that the baby will be surrounded with all English, how will Cele communicate with him or her when he doesn't know that much English? Maybe I'm just being hormonal haha. :)
Then I think: What will happen when Cele DOES go back to Mexico? I would have to think of daycare and be able to work and pay the rent for us or risk losing our home and moving back to my parents house for 2 months or a little bit less until he came back.
SO maybe Cele is thinking realistically. I just cannot wrap my head around it though: After I give birth, I'm sure Cele will come back home to my parents' house but then he'll go back to his house at night? WTF. Excuse my language but doesn't that seem dysfunctional or whatever?
He tells me that I have EVERY RIGHT to feel the way that I do but also he is right to feel the way he does too. And he's right.
I'm just really afraid of what might happen in Mexico. I mean him and Lucia, well they have a 12 year history together and what if, well YOU KNOW happens between him and her and she gets pregnant AGAIN. I mentioned this to him and he told me "You don't think I can keep it in my pants for a whole two months?" lol. I also told him that I think maybe me and him should break it off when he is over there, but then that's like giving him the green light to go ahead and mess around with a woman he "supposedly" doesn't love anymore right?
I even have to admit I have had thoughts of marrying him just to feel more at ease when he goes over there. But married to him or not, I told myself common sense: If a man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat.
Then I just push ALL those thoughts out of my head and really just think of his safety and how I hope he comes back safe and sound.
So what do my readers think about this one? I'm curious. I would LOVE to go with Cele to Mexico, but you know, I'm pregnant and going to have a baby, so either way that is out of the question!
Thanks for any comments in advance! :)
So me and Cele have been going back and forth on this and back and forth some more. There is NO convincing him! What about you ask? Welllll, just tell me who is right and what would you do if you were me?
Now, you all know about Lucia, his soon-to-be ex girlfriend back in Mexico. Cele's been with her for 12 years and has 3 kids with her. Remember? Well, this is what Cele wants to do and then I'll tell you what I want to do.
Cele's View: He wants me to live with my parents after the baby is born and he will come visit our baby a few times a week or more (depending on my mom's rules). Meanwhile, he will be planning a trip back to Mexico to break the news to Lucia, his children and his parents that he wants to stay with me and about our baby etc. etc. Then after he returns from Mexico, he wants us all to be a family and live together. He says that IF we lived together BEFORE he goes back to Mexico he is worried about a few things: #1 he does not think it is fair to me if we all live together and he talks to Lucia, #2 he doesn't want to leave me alone in our place when he goes back to Mexico, he wants me to be all safe with my parents.
Okay, now as I'm writing this I just don't know if I trust the situation. I trust him just not the situation. After all the hurt I've been through I'm just afraid that I'll lose him. He assures me that I will not and that he will be gone for 2 months (or a little bit less) and then he will return and we'll live together (him, me and the baby) as a family.
Okay, so now what I would like to happen but now that I wrote his point-of-view out, maybe my idea is not so realistic after all.
My View: For me and Cele to start planning to find somewhere for us to live and then we move in together BEFORE baby comes. I feel that that is the right thing because Cele will miss a lot if he is not living with the baby: The baby's first word, when he or she first walks, etc. AND what about communication with the baby? I'm thinking that the baby will be surrounded with all English, how will Cele communicate with him or her when he doesn't know that much English? Maybe I'm just being hormonal haha. :)
Then I think: What will happen when Cele DOES go back to Mexico? I would have to think of daycare and be able to work and pay the rent for us or risk losing our home and moving back to my parents house for 2 months or a little bit less until he came back.
SO maybe Cele is thinking realistically. I just cannot wrap my head around it though: After I give birth, I'm sure Cele will come back home to my parents' house but then he'll go back to his house at night? WTF. Excuse my language but doesn't that seem dysfunctional or whatever?
He tells me that I have EVERY RIGHT to feel the way that I do but also he is right to feel the way he does too. And he's right.
I'm just really afraid of what might happen in Mexico. I mean him and Lucia, well they have a 12 year history together and what if, well YOU KNOW happens between him and her and she gets pregnant AGAIN. I mentioned this to him and he told me "You don't think I can keep it in my pants for a whole two months?" lol. I also told him that I think maybe me and him should break it off when he is over there, but then that's like giving him the green light to go ahead and mess around with a woman he "supposedly" doesn't love anymore right?
I even have to admit I have had thoughts of marrying him just to feel more at ease when he goes over there. But married to him or not, I told myself common sense: If a man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat.
Then I just push ALL those thoughts out of my head and really just think of his safety and how I hope he comes back safe and sound.
So what do my readers think about this one? I'm curious. I would LOVE to go with Cele to Mexico, but you know, I'm pregnant and going to have a baby, so either way that is out of the question!
Thanks for any comments in advance! :)
Monday, February 9, 2009
A Confession and A Misunderstanding
So this blog is about two things: A Confession and A Misunderstanding. Hey, now remember: I'm NOT perfect! :)
So Cele and I were chatting today on the phone and everything was going great until he mentioned he might be working somewhere else tomorrow but if not he will be coming to see me. Okay....well I asked him where he was going to be working.
He goes "You know, over there."
I said "No, I don't. Where?"
And I had a curious tone about me because after all, I was curious because he did not tell me.
He goes "You know, over there. Near my house."
I felt sick because I knew he had applied where that jack a$$ Jose works (or used to because honestly, who knows if he does work there anymore) (if you don't know or remember him, check out my previous blogs) :)
Anyways, I asked Cele "Did you apply there before?"
He tells me "Oh yeah, a LONGGG time ago." Oh no, it must be where Jose works.
I mentioned the name of the company and he tells me "No, that's not it." Well okay then, I feel better.
He asked me why I was so worried. I came clean (kind of) and told him that if he were to work with Jose or even come across him then he would know how I caused Jose problems with his wife. And no, my readers do NOT know about these problems that I caused.
Guess it is time ya'll do, hm? They weren't BAD problems, just a BIG lie that last a few weeks and then ended.
You see, when I found out that Jose was LYING to me from day 1, well I was pissed. Usually I would just let the b*stard get away with it, but this time, no. Something had to be done. I was tired of being walked allll over. So I called him up and told him that I thought I was pregnant. I know, I know. A terrible, terrible lie. But I did.
(Cele doesn't know this by the way, and really, is it any of his business? The only thing he DOES know is that I caused problems for Jose. But he doesn't know how I did. It's the past, but he tells me he wants to know...more about WHAT ELSE he said later.)
So anyways, Jose cannot believe what I am telling him and we hang up after I tell him I don't know what I am going to do. And trust me, since I have a heart, I DID feel bad lying to him about that.
His wife calls me back and says "What do you want with Jose now?" I told her that "Listen, I don't want anything with him." Then she asked me "Well then why did you call him?" I told her "Because I think I'm pregnant."
She goes "You're pregnant." Hey, she said it so in a way I "confirmed" it and just said "Yeah." She went on and on and told me that Jose just left the house and took the truck, probably looking for me she said, and that he did not tell her where he was going. She was basically accusing me of telling him to come to my house, yeah right. She then told me that she was going to call the police on him, blah blah blah and that I need to go look for him or call the police on him myself and get some money for the baby.
We hung up and that was that. Jose came to my house and we spent that last night talking. It was January 19th and I remember his wife called my cell phone about 20 times. He told me not to answer it. I really felt that he wanted to be with me and not her, that he was choosing me. I know, naive and stupid of me, but at the time I thought that I wanted to be with him. Then he tells me in the morning that he didn't want to be with me or her. He wanted to be solito to think things through and to just, well think.
I had felt used all over again. He took me to work that morning and didn't even kiss or hug me good-bye. I remember getting out of the truck and shaking my head as I left him, what a loser and a user!
I remember I drank a whole bottle of water while listening to what rooms had to be cleaned that morning, thank God I could occupy my mind with that.
I think that I talked to Jose again about a week after that and told him that I had "lost the baby." He told me that it was a lie. I told him that it was true. And that was that. I also told his wife the same thing, especially when her sister wanted to bring me to my Dr's appointment! Ha! It was turning into a soap opera toooo quickly. That is NOT who I am, so I had to end it and in order to do that, I had to say one more lie and tell them both that I had "lost the baby." I hated doing it but it was better than prolonging the lie.
Besides I wanted NOTHING to do with Jose ever again.
So that's my confession. I know it was a terrible thing to do, but the ONLY reason why I did it was NOT to get Jose. It was to prove to his wife that he WAS sleeping with me because I KNEW he wouldn't have the balls to tell her the truth and I wanted her to know what a SCUM Jose really was.
Stupid, I know.
And now, Cele wants to know how I caused problems with Jose. I'm afraid if I tell him he's going to be the type to think that I'm lying about being pregnant or something like that...but that is REALLY stupid because we heard the heartbeat and we saw the baby on the screen! NO FAKING THAT! :D
Then I'm thinking is it really any of Cele's business? I mean, the past is the past, right?
Let me know if I should be honest with him or not. I mean I'm just thinking that someday he's going to come across Jose somehow SOME WAY and Jose might look at our child and be like "Is that mine?" or something or other since he NEVER believed me that I "lost" the baby I lied to him about.
Or should I just leave it be. I think if I DO tell Cele the truth he has NO reason to react in a bad way, that is the past right? Right.
As for the MISUNDERSTANDING part of this blog, well I thought that Cele told me that if he doesn't like what I did to Jose I could lose him! My hormones are catching up to me, I can feel it because I feel like they are jumping all over the place.
So what does everyone think? Please don't think less of me. What I did could have been MUCH worse and it does NOT make me less of a person. :/
So Cele and I were chatting today on the phone and everything was going great until he mentioned he might be working somewhere else tomorrow but if not he will be coming to see me. Okay....well I asked him where he was going to be working.
He goes "You know, over there."
I said "No, I don't. Where?"
And I had a curious tone about me because after all, I was curious because he did not tell me.
He goes "You know, over there. Near my house."
I felt sick because I knew he had applied where that jack a$$ Jose works (or used to because honestly, who knows if he does work there anymore) (if you don't know or remember him, check out my previous blogs) :)
Anyways, I asked Cele "Did you apply there before?"
He tells me "Oh yeah, a LONGGG time ago." Oh no, it must be where Jose works.
I mentioned the name of the company and he tells me "No, that's not it." Well okay then, I feel better.
He asked me why I was so worried. I came clean (kind of) and told him that if he were to work with Jose or even come across him then he would know how I caused Jose problems with his wife. And no, my readers do NOT know about these problems that I caused.
Guess it is time ya'll do, hm? They weren't BAD problems, just a BIG lie that last a few weeks and then ended.
You see, when I found out that Jose was LYING to me from day 1, well I was pissed. Usually I would just let the b*stard get away with it, but this time, no. Something had to be done. I was tired of being walked allll over. So I called him up and told him that I thought I was pregnant. I know, I know. A terrible, terrible lie. But I did.
(Cele doesn't know this by the way, and really, is it any of his business? The only thing he DOES know is that I caused problems for Jose. But he doesn't know how I did. It's the past, but he tells me he wants to know...more about WHAT ELSE he said later.)
So anyways, Jose cannot believe what I am telling him and we hang up after I tell him I don't know what I am going to do. And trust me, since I have a heart, I DID feel bad lying to him about that.
His wife calls me back and says "What do you want with Jose now?" I told her that "Listen, I don't want anything with him." Then she asked me "Well then why did you call him?" I told her "Because I think I'm pregnant."
She goes "You're pregnant." Hey, she said it so in a way I "confirmed" it and just said "Yeah." She went on and on and told me that Jose just left the house and took the truck, probably looking for me she said, and that he did not tell her where he was going. She was basically accusing me of telling him to come to my house, yeah right. She then told me that she was going to call the police on him, blah blah blah and that I need to go look for him or call the police on him myself and get some money for the baby.
We hung up and that was that. Jose came to my house and we spent that last night talking. It was January 19th and I remember his wife called my cell phone about 20 times. He told me not to answer it. I really felt that he wanted to be with me and not her, that he was choosing me. I know, naive and stupid of me, but at the time I thought that I wanted to be with him. Then he tells me in the morning that he didn't want to be with me or her. He wanted to be solito to think things through and to just, well think.
I had felt used all over again. He took me to work that morning and didn't even kiss or hug me good-bye. I remember getting out of the truck and shaking my head as I left him, what a loser and a user!
I remember I drank a whole bottle of water while listening to what rooms had to be cleaned that morning, thank God I could occupy my mind with that.
I think that I talked to Jose again about a week after that and told him that I had "lost the baby." He told me that it was a lie. I told him that it was true. And that was that. I also told his wife the same thing, especially when her sister wanted to bring me to my Dr's appointment! Ha! It was turning into a soap opera toooo quickly. That is NOT who I am, so I had to end it and in order to do that, I had to say one more lie and tell them both that I had "lost the baby." I hated doing it but it was better than prolonging the lie.
Besides I wanted NOTHING to do with Jose ever again.
So that's my confession. I know it was a terrible thing to do, but the ONLY reason why I did it was NOT to get Jose. It was to prove to his wife that he WAS sleeping with me because I KNEW he wouldn't have the balls to tell her the truth and I wanted her to know what a SCUM Jose really was.
Stupid, I know.
And now, Cele wants to know how I caused problems with Jose. I'm afraid if I tell him he's going to be the type to think that I'm lying about being pregnant or something like that...but that is REALLY stupid because we heard the heartbeat and we saw the baby on the screen! NO FAKING THAT! :D
Then I'm thinking is it really any of Cele's business? I mean, the past is the past, right?
Let me know if I should be honest with him or not. I mean I'm just thinking that someday he's going to come across Jose somehow SOME WAY and Jose might look at our child and be like "Is that mine?" or something or other since he NEVER believed me that I "lost" the baby I lied to him about.
Or should I just leave it be. I think if I DO tell Cele the truth he has NO reason to react in a bad way, that is the past right? Right.
As for the MISUNDERSTANDING part of this blog, well I thought that Cele told me that if he doesn't like what I did to Jose I could lose him! My hormones are catching up to me, I can feel it because I feel like they are jumping all over the place.
So what does everyone think? Please don't think less of me. What I did could have been MUCH worse and it does NOT make me less of a person. :/
Sunday, February 1, 2009
So Now I Am Selfish?
Okay, so I admit that sometimes I can be selfish, but sabes que? I think ALL people whether male or female can be selfish at least ONE point in their lives. I have two people, I will not mention any names of course, but they are saying that I am selfish!
HA!
That is too damn funny. I have a very good heart and try to make people happy and smile as much as I can.
Here are the reasons that were just told to me why I am selfish. Are you ready for this STUPIDITY and DRAMA?
1. I am selfish because I am sitting here on the couch with a new laptop that I bought with my own money and I've got the baby on the way.
My thoughts on this: This does NOT show that I am selfish! I bought this laptop for one, with my own money, the money that the college sent to me. Number two, I feel all non-productive when studying in my room with my desktop and I must say that I have completed close to 5 assignments today when using my new laptop. Four more assignments are done than what I usually would have completed if I were using my desktop computer in my room. And number three, yes I KNOW and I am FULLY AWARE that I have a baby on the way! The reason for my *splurge* is because after baby comes, I will be focusing my 100% and beyond that attention on that baby and doing SO much for him or her and giving him or her things. So overall, this was not a selfish purchase. This was a final splurge for me on something that I have always wanted.
2. Because I would like my stepfather to burn a DVD for me from online, The Uninvited. But you see, my mother does NOT want to see it because it is a scary movie. So I simply said "Well it would be nice if you [meaning my stepfather] would make it for me since you are making all the movies my mom wants and I only really am requesting one, and I have no problem watching it in my room since you both do not want to see it."
My thoughts on this: How the HELL does this seem selfish? It doesn't and that word is irrelevant!
3. Okay, so this next one is because I owe a good friend [well ex-amigo since we never talk anymore] but anyways I owe him $300. So the fact that I am sitting here with my laptop and have not paid him back his money, I am considered selfish.
My thoughts on this: He will get his money, he will. I had plans to pay him off with this money I received from my college, but I decided not to, and yes I will admit it, it MAY seem a teensy bit selfish of me, but again I had my reasons. I wanted to get this laptop for my studies and well, so far so good, as I have completed MORE things than if I were in my room studying.
My Verdict: I AM NOT SELFISH.
So do ANY of these reasons seem selfish? Maybe I am thinking in black and white but you know what? I am NOT selfish and I'm tired of people thinking that I am and saying mean shyt when I AM NOT the one that sits in the chair and plays a stupid video game on my PSP and ignores anyone and anything that is near me or walks by me or talks to me. I am not like that. I am MORE involved with this family than THAT person, again no name will be mentioned.
HA!
That is too damn funny. I have a very good heart and try to make people happy and smile as much as I can.
Here are the reasons that were just told to me why I am selfish. Are you ready for this STUPIDITY and DRAMA?
1. I am selfish because I am sitting here on the couch with a new laptop that I bought with my own money and I've got the baby on the way.
My thoughts on this: This does NOT show that I am selfish! I bought this laptop for one, with my own money, the money that the college sent to me. Number two, I feel all non-productive when studying in my room with my desktop and I must say that I have completed close to 5 assignments today when using my new laptop. Four more assignments are done than what I usually would have completed if I were using my desktop computer in my room. And number three, yes I KNOW and I am FULLY AWARE that I have a baby on the way! The reason for my *splurge* is because after baby comes, I will be focusing my 100% and beyond that attention on that baby and doing SO much for him or her and giving him or her things. So overall, this was not a selfish purchase. This was a final splurge for me on something that I have always wanted.
2. Because I would like my stepfather to burn a DVD for me from online, The Uninvited. But you see, my mother does NOT want to see it because it is a scary movie. So I simply said "Well it would be nice if you [meaning my stepfather] would make it for me since you are making all the movies my mom wants and I only really am requesting one, and I have no problem watching it in my room since you both do not want to see it."
My thoughts on this: How the HELL does this seem selfish? It doesn't and that word is irrelevant!
3. Okay, so this next one is because I owe a good friend [well ex-amigo since we never talk anymore] but anyways I owe him $300. So the fact that I am sitting here with my laptop and have not paid him back his money, I am considered selfish.
My thoughts on this: He will get his money, he will. I had plans to pay him off with this money I received from my college, but I decided not to, and yes I will admit it, it MAY seem a teensy bit selfish of me, but again I had my reasons. I wanted to get this laptop for my studies and well, so far so good, as I have completed MORE things than if I were in my room studying.
My Verdict: I AM NOT SELFISH.
So do ANY of these reasons seem selfish? Maybe I am thinking in black and white but you know what? I am NOT selfish and I'm tired of people thinking that I am and saying mean shyt when I AM NOT the one that sits in the chair and plays a stupid video game on my PSP and ignores anyone and anything that is near me or walks by me or talks to me. I am not like that. I am MORE involved with this family than THAT person, again no name will be mentioned.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
5 Minute Update!
So I am literally going to give you a 5 minute update. So here goes....
The main reason why me and Cele were taking a break is because of my messed up hormones. That's what pregnancy will do to ya lol! But everything is good now, I was sick for the past week now and Cele spent three days by my side "taking care of me" and what not.
We both have an understanding now and that's all that needs to be said about that.
I am typing from my laptop right now. That's right. I went out and splurged a bit on myself because I figure when this baby comes, there will be NO splurging on ME lol, just on baby, so hey, this will be my LAST splurge for QUITE a while. Which is awesome. It was a great purchase. I just got it tonight from Best Buy. Would have bough it from Circuit City but hey, they are closing down if not have done that already and well, that's another blog in itself right? :)
So what else can I tell you? Oh yeah, I am 12 weeks today! And counting......;)
And I have a job interview this coming Wednesday.
OMG and my last OBGYn appt went well! Sorry about the typo, this keyboard is awesome though even though I'm not used to it, wouldn't change it for anything in the world hehe.
Anyways, we heard the heartbeat. So since we've seen the heartbeat, heard the heartbeat, and I'm now at 12 weeks without ANY problemas, the miscarriage rate goes down by SO MUCH, so that is all good news.
My little baby's heartbeat. It was an awesome thing. And the Dr. says that I am progressing wonderfully and that he is very pleased with everything too!
That's all for now. Have to catch some zzz's as I am still a bit sick and feeling under the weather.
Will check in again soon! Ok, ok, so my update was 6 minutes. So sue me! Oh and one other thing, the movie Gran Turino is a great one, so WATCH IT if ya can! ;)
~M~
The main reason why me and Cele were taking a break is because of my messed up hormones. That's what pregnancy will do to ya lol! But everything is good now, I was sick for the past week now and Cele spent three days by my side "taking care of me" and what not.
We both have an understanding now and that's all that needs to be said about that.
I am typing from my laptop right now. That's right. I went out and splurged a bit on myself because I figure when this baby comes, there will be NO splurging on ME lol, just on baby, so hey, this will be my LAST splurge for QUITE a while. Which is awesome. It was a great purchase. I just got it tonight from Best Buy. Would have bough it from Circuit City but hey, they are closing down if not have done that already and well, that's another blog in itself right? :)
So what else can I tell you? Oh yeah, I am 12 weeks today! And counting......;)
And I have a job interview this coming Wednesday.
OMG and my last OBGYn appt went well! Sorry about the typo, this keyboard is awesome though even though I'm not used to it, wouldn't change it for anything in the world hehe.
Anyways, we heard the heartbeat. So since we've seen the heartbeat, heard the heartbeat, and I'm now at 12 weeks without ANY problemas, the miscarriage rate goes down by SO MUCH, so that is all good news.
My little baby's heartbeat. It was an awesome thing. And the Dr. says that I am progressing wonderfully and that he is very pleased with everything too!
That's all for now. Have to catch some zzz's as I am still a bit sick and feeling under the weather.
Will check in again soon! Ok, ok, so my update was 6 minutes. So sue me! Oh and one other thing, the movie Gran Turino is a great one, so WATCH IT if ya can! ;)
~M~
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Taking A Break
Yep. Me and Cele are taking a break. This started yesterday actually, which was our 1 year anniversary mind you! So needless to say I never thought that this would be happening, but whatever.
It was my idea and really, I'm actually not going to get into the details of what happened because I don't need the stress of talking about it especially in my condition. I just told him that during this time he needs to think of what is important to him and what his priorities are.
We still are keeping in touch on the phone, just not seeing each other for a long while. The ball is in his court so-to-speak and when he decides what is important to him, if he wants me in his future, and if he is going to change, then that's when we'll see each other again.
He told me that he never thought I would do this. I told him that I never thought that I would have to!
He cries each time on the phone when we talk. (And they are genuine tears, not manipulating tears or whatever as some have mentioned in the past). Crying is how he deals with things when he is hurt instead of burying it inside him. I'd much rather have him be a "cry baby" or whatever than bury it inside him and have it come out FULL FORCE when we argue or what not.
Anyways, I hope that this separation is very short because I DO miss him. He's a good guy, just well, you know. He's a stubborn guy. Like most of them! :)
I am replaying Akon's "Right Now (Na Na Na)" over and over again. It kind of describes how I am feeling a LITTLE bit but it also has an awesome beat.
I'll keep everyone updated on what happens. Hoping and praying for the best with EVERYTHING.
It was my idea and really, I'm actually not going to get into the details of what happened because I don't need the stress of talking about it especially in my condition. I just told him that during this time he needs to think of what is important to him and what his priorities are.
We still are keeping in touch on the phone, just not seeing each other for a long while. The ball is in his court so-to-speak and when he decides what is important to him, if he wants me in his future, and if he is going to change, then that's when we'll see each other again.
He told me that he never thought I would do this. I told him that I never thought that I would have to!
He cries each time on the phone when we talk. (And they are genuine tears, not manipulating tears or whatever as some have mentioned in the past). Crying is how he deals with things when he is hurt instead of burying it inside him. I'd much rather have him be a "cry baby" or whatever than bury it inside him and have it come out FULL FORCE when we argue or what not.
Anyways, I hope that this separation is very short because I DO miss him. He's a good guy, just well, you know. He's a stubborn guy. Like most of them! :)
I am replaying Akon's "Right Now (Na Na Na)" over and over again. It kind of describes how I am feeling a LITTLE bit but it also has an awesome beat.
I'll keep everyone updated on what happens. Hoping and praying for the best with EVERYTHING.
Friday, January 23, 2009
WOW! Shocking News For You!
And it was shocking news but not surprising news of course, as I already felt it in my heart that it was going to happen or that it might have already happened.
What am I talking about you ask?
Daniel is with someone else. Just like me and is also in my same situation. The guy is going to be a father! I know, I know. I am shocked just like you. A tiny bit of me feels hurt in a way and disappointed, like now this is really the end of us. Just have to get divorced.
I'm happy for him though, don't get me wrong. He knew this girl, her name is Dulce, and she was his "first love" so to speak. They dated back when he was 15 years old. He's 26 now and she is 21. She is due in March and they are having a baby girl.
Daniel knows about me too. My parents think that he lied about it all because I was the one who told him about my situation first. I didn't mean to, but he STILL has his way of getting me to talk lol. It was weird when he was asking me questions and I was asking him questions. It was like, I don't know just downright weird.
He wants to marry her too. He asked me if I love Cele. I told him yes, I do. He didn't say anything about Dulce, nothing about loving her or anything. When I asked him what was her name? He hesitated and then told me. Kind of weird to hesitate, but whatever.
They live together too and he says that me and Cele should live together too. It is the right thing.
Daniel does not seem to happy about the pregnancy, I mean Dulce's, not mine. He was shocked and said "I can't believe that you are pregnant Megan." and he kept asking me if I was taking care of myself. He asked about my prenatal vitamins, if I'm showing yet, have I had an ultrasound, etc.
It was weird talking to him about it all because we talked like we were friends. I secretly am hoping that his waiver doesn't get approved, but only because I selfishly do NOT want to see him because I know how I am, yes I love Cele SO SO SO MUCH, there is NO denying that. But to see Daniel again, especially in MY situation and with his situation? Nah, I'd rather not see him again. I think we'd both feel crappy. Maybe not though, as people DO change.
He told me that he wishes my baby was his or Dulce's baby was his with ME. I couldn't believe he said that. I think he is just being a man and "stepping up to the plate." I don't think he really loves her loves her. Hey, I give him credit though for being man unlike little boys out there who don't want the "responsibility", etc. lol (no one in particular mind you, just in general!) :)
And Dulce knows about me. He told her upfront when they started talking again. It is just SOOO weird how me and Daniel are in basically the same situations. I really am surprised at him though because he was always wanting to use condoms. Maybe he feels she is the one though.
My situation was not like that though. I think I've said this before, but Cele was SUPPOSED to be a rebound guy lol. But I fell for him and I honestly did NOT think that I could get pregnant, because when me and Daniel were a couple, it may be TMI so sorry about this ahead of time, but we had it unprotected all the time and nada. No baby was conceived lol. So I honestly thought that I could not conceive. (but then again, everything happens for a reason doesn't it?)
I know, I know. How naive! But the reason why I post basically my 'life story' is because someone out there may be reading it someday or even now and might say to themselves: "Hey, that sounds just like me!" So if ANYTHING I write sounds like your situation or how you have felt or feel, contact me! (that reminds me, I have comments I have to respond to lol! Forgive me!) :)
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
So tomorrow it will be 1 year for me and Cele. I have been thinking of how to celebrate it. I am just going to get him a card in Spanish and write him a love letter telling him how much I love him, etc. etc. Ya know, all that mushy stuff.
Oh! And I'm 11 weeks today. Can't believe it. Time is going slow though. I would like to start showing already haha! :D I don't know if I am yet, could be bloating lol, but I can't fit comfortably into my regular pants or shirts anymore, already in maternity clothes! But they are pretty nice, thanks to my Mommy and Joe! :) *kisses and hugs*
Well what an update, huh? I am sure I will have plenty more and hopefully they are POSITIVE ones! I go back to my OBGYN soon and hopefully get to meet him! I also have been researching apartments and may have found one for CHEAP CHEAP rent!
Oh and spoke with immigration, and well, no decision will be made until at the end of March. I also asked Daniel when he was going to tell me about him and Dulce and the baby. He told me in person and when he came back.
I remember him telling me way long ago that he had something to tell me but he wanted to do it in person. I bet that was it.
One thing is for sure though: I don't believe that he is being honest with how long he's been with her because shortly after I got back from Honduras, he had changed. That is when I began questioning myself why I had married him, etc. AND that's why I went out with Jose and then after he "broke my heart" [lol] I went out and continued a relationship with Cele. I believe he was with her when we were still together.
So really regardless, NEITHER of us are innocent and both cheated as far as I'm concerned because we may be "broken up" but we are still legally married. I mean we are not even legally separated. But that's water under the bridge now and I feel as long as me and him can remain friends and/or civil, then things should be okay. SO WEIRD though that he's going to be a father and I'm going to be a mother! It is like this was God's plan. It's a weird one but I trust in Him, most definitely I do! :)
P.S. I remember praying to God after Daniel and I had broken up and I was with Jose. This was all before I even knew my precious Cele existed, but I prayed to God hard and said: "Dear God, Please let me conceive a baby someday with the man that I am supposed to be with. With the man that will make me happy."
Well...I know that He heard me, because I believe in Him and all that. So weird how I have had SO many chances conceiving and well, no baby was conceived until now. With Cele. So I think I might have gotten my answer, hm? :)
Ok, enough of all this. Time to go study.
What am I talking about you ask?
Daniel is with someone else. Just like me and is also in my same situation. The guy is going to be a father! I know, I know. I am shocked just like you. A tiny bit of me feels hurt in a way and disappointed, like now this is really the end of us. Just have to get divorced.
I'm happy for him though, don't get me wrong. He knew this girl, her name is Dulce, and she was his "first love" so to speak. They dated back when he was 15 years old. He's 26 now and she is 21. She is due in March and they are having a baby girl.
Daniel knows about me too. My parents think that he lied about it all because I was the one who told him about my situation first. I didn't mean to, but he STILL has his way of getting me to talk lol. It was weird when he was asking me questions and I was asking him questions. It was like, I don't know just downright weird.
He wants to marry her too. He asked me if I love Cele. I told him yes, I do. He didn't say anything about Dulce, nothing about loving her or anything. When I asked him what was her name? He hesitated and then told me. Kind of weird to hesitate, but whatever.
They live together too and he says that me and Cele should live together too. It is the right thing.
Daniel does not seem to happy about the pregnancy, I mean Dulce's, not mine. He was shocked and said "I can't believe that you are pregnant Megan." and he kept asking me if I was taking care of myself. He asked about my prenatal vitamins, if I'm showing yet, have I had an ultrasound, etc.
It was weird talking to him about it all because we talked like we were friends. I secretly am hoping that his waiver doesn't get approved, but only because I selfishly do NOT want to see him because I know how I am, yes I love Cele SO SO SO MUCH, there is NO denying that. But to see Daniel again, especially in MY situation and with his situation? Nah, I'd rather not see him again. I think we'd both feel crappy. Maybe not though, as people DO change.
He told me that he wishes my baby was his or Dulce's baby was his with ME. I couldn't believe he said that. I think he is just being a man and "stepping up to the plate." I don't think he really loves her loves her. Hey, I give him credit though for being man unlike little boys out there who don't want the "responsibility", etc. lol (no one in particular mind you, just in general!) :)
And Dulce knows about me. He told her upfront when they started talking again. It is just SOOO weird how me and Daniel are in basically the same situations. I really am surprised at him though because he was always wanting to use condoms. Maybe he feels she is the one though.
My situation was not like that though. I think I've said this before, but Cele was SUPPOSED to be a rebound guy lol. But I fell for him and I honestly did NOT think that I could get pregnant, because when me and Daniel were a couple, it may be TMI so sorry about this ahead of time, but we had it unprotected all the time and nada. No baby was conceived lol. So I honestly thought that I could not conceive. (but then again, everything happens for a reason doesn't it?)
I know, I know. How naive! But the reason why I post basically my 'life story' is because someone out there may be reading it someday or even now and might say to themselves: "Hey, that sounds just like me!" So if ANYTHING I write sounds like your situation or how you have felt or feel, contact me! (that reminds me, I have comments I have to respond to lol! Forgive me!) :)
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
So tomorrow it will be 1 year for me and Cele. I have been thinking of how to celebrate it. I am just going to get him a card in Spanish and write him a love letter telling him how much I love him, etc. etc. Ya know, all that mushy stuff.
Oh! And I'm 11 weeks today. Can't believe it. Time is going slow though. I would like to start showing already haha! :D I don't know if I am yet, could be bloating lol, but I can't fit comfortably into my regular pants or shirts anymore, already in maternity clothes! But they are pretty nice, thanks to my Mommy and Joe! :) *kisses and hugs*
Well what an update, huh? I am sure I will have plenty more and hopefully they are POSITIVE ones! I go back to my OBGYN soon and hopefully get to meet him! I also have been researching apartments and may have found one for CHEAP CHEAP rent!
Oh and spoke with immigration, and well, no decision will be made until at the end of March. I also asked Daniel when he was going to tell me about him and Dulce and the baby. He told me in person and when he came back.
I remember him telling me way long ago that he had something to tell me but he wanted to do it in person. I bet that was it.
One thing is for sure though: I don't believe that he is being honest with how long he's been with her because shortly after I got back from Honduras, he had changed. That is when I began questioning myself why I had married him, etc. AND that's why I went out with Jose and then after he "broke my heart" [lol] I went out and continued a relationship with Cele. I believe he was with her when we were still together.
So really regardless, NEITHER of us are innocent and both cheated as far as I'm concerned because we may be "broken up" but we are still legally married. I mean we are not even legally separated. But that's water under the bridge now and I feel as long as me and him can remain friends and/or civil, then things should be okay. SO WEIRD though that he's going to be a father and I'm going to be a mother! It is like this was God's plan. It's a weird one but I trust in Him, most definitely I do! :)
P.S. I remember praying to God after Daniel and I had broken up and I was with Jose. This was all before I even knew my precious Cele existed, but I prayed to God hard and said: "Dear God, Please let me conceive a baby someday with the man that I am supposed to be with. With the man that will make me happy."
Well...I know that He heard me, because I believe in Him and all that. So weird how I have had SO many chances conceiving and well, no baby was conceived until now. With Cele. So I think I might have gotten my answer, hm? :)
Ok, enough of all this. Time to go study.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
First Ultrasound!!!
Wow, it was a good day, at least FOR ME it was. For Cele, I really do not know what he is feeling, as he really does not TALK that much.
But it is all reality now!
Below is a picture of my ultrasound. Both my mom and Cele were present for it, Cele cried a little bit hehe. We both saw it moving too as well as its little heart beating...it was a flashing light! It was so cool! I have never seen anything like it in my life!
My mom does not seem too thrilled though, she did not even see the baby move nor did she see the heartbeat. I really do not think she agrees with it and does not want to be involved because of the situation, I could be wrong though as I received many cute outfits for the baby for my birthday! She got really mad at me and told me that she is tired of being a mother. I would never say that to my child, I know she was just angry at me though, so really, never say never. Yeah, I know she is stressed or WHATEVER about this. What about me? Ya think I'm not? I'm going to try and find some type of housing though so I can get the heck out of here, I'm tired of people not being HAPPY for me and feeling SORRY for me instead!
If you don't agree with this: Keep it to yourself. There are SO MANY things that I do NOT agree with that people do, have done, or are still doing. I don't go and say anything because I don't want to hurt others, ya know? (and please DO NOT think that this is meant for ANYONE in particular because it really is not. Just warning you AHEAD of time what I think. And to my close friends [ya'll know who you are!] ANY feedback that I receive from you, well you know I appreciate you not sugar-coating it! :) Love ya'll!
But I am REALLY tired of PEOPLE saying "What ifs" and "What could bes" WHAT IS, IS PEOPLE! GET THE F*CK OVER IT! And that's the LAST time I am swearing lol, that kind of stress is NOT good for my little one.
On another note, below is an ultrasound picture. The technician was really sweet. I really like my OBGYN place, still have not met the "big guy" or Dr. Dueno lol! Seems like he is invisible though I hear his name (or "Dr. D") being called while I am there. Have not seen him yet though!
I have another appointment towards the end of this month. I was told I would not have another ultrasound until I am 5 months!!! WOW! Long time!
Ok, so I think that is enough of an update for now. I have to go study again. I'm still behind but thankfully I won't be soon! :D
So I leave you with my little miracle!
But it is all reality now!
Below is a picture of my ultrasound. Both my mom and Cele were present for it, Cele cried a little bit hehe. We both saw it moving too as well as its little heart beating...it was a flashing light! It was so cool! I have never seen anything like it in my life!
My mom does not seem too thrilled though, she did not even see the baby move nor did she see the heartbeat. I really do not think she agrees with it and does not want to be involved because of the situation, I could be wrong though as I received many cute outfits for the baby for my birthday! She got really mad at me and told me that she is tired of being a mother. I would never say that to my child, I know she was just angry at me though, so really, never say never. Yeah, I know she is stressed or WHATEVER about this. What about me? Ya think I'm not? I'm going to try and find some type of housing though so I can get the heck out of here, I'm tired of people not being HAPPY for me and feeling SORRY for me instead!
If you don't agree with this: Keep it to yourself. There are SO MANY things that I do NOT agree with that people do, have done, or are still doing. I don't go and say anything because I don't want to hurt others, ya know? (and please DO NOT think that this is meant for ANYONE in particular because it really is not. Just warning you AHEAD of time what I think. And to my close friends [ya'll know who you are!] ANY feedback that I receive from you, well you know I appreciate you not sugar-coating it! :) Love ya'll!
But I am REALLY tired of PEOPLE saying "What ifs" and "What could bes" WHAT IS, IS PEOPLE! GET THE F*CK OVER IT! And that's the LAST time I am swearing lol, that kind of stress is NOT good for my little one.
On another note, below is an ultrasound picture. The technician was really sweet. I really like my OBGYN place, still have not met the "big guy" or Dr. Dueno lol! Seems like he is invisible though I hear his name (or "Dr. D") being called while I am there. Have not seen him yet though!
I have another appointment towards the end of this month. I was told I would not have another ultrasound until I am 5 months!!! WOW! Long time!
Ok, so I think that is enough of an update for now. I have to go study again. I'm still behind but thankfully I won't be soon! :D
So I leave you with my little miracle!
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Agreement and The Result of Being Told
Well, you are probably wondering what exactly is the agreement and what exactly is the result of being told, I'm sure right?
To start out: Cele and I talked on 30th and immediately I knew something was up. He told me that he was downtown in the city and watching the ships go by with his uncle Adolfo, and he was also thinking.
Hmm. Ok: So Cele is watching the ships go by and thinking? Not like him at all. The silence is then broken and he goes "You're right, Megan. Everything that you have said. You are right."
I was stunned and shocked. Here was a MAN who was telling a WOMAN that EVERYTHING she said was RIGHT. To make sure I was not hearing what I wanted to hear lol, I basically made him repeat it: "I am right about what?"
He told me everything that I have been telling him. About how his sister should know about me and him and how long we've been together, how I'm PG, etc.
He also apologized to me and asked me to forgive him because he has kept a secret of what we have.
The agreement: So that's what it was. Cele agreed with me and planned on telling his sister at her house on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. But of course, it seems like life planned something different.
The evening of the 30th, Cele's sister dropped by to talk with Cele. You see, Cele was supposed to call me at 9-9:30pm that night, but did not call me until a bit later. NEVER like him. He's always early or on the dot. Therefore, I knew something was up.
I really thought he was drinking again or something like that, but it wasn't. Not at all. I could hear in his voice that something had happened and of course, you know how I am, I was curious!
I told him "What's up? You are very quiet. Something happened, is everything ok?"
He laughs while telling me that "nothing is wrong" blah blah blah
If there's one thing I know: When Cele is lying or fibbing or trying to pull one over on me, he laughs. Any kind of chuckle or laugh. Even a nervous laugh. (You THINK he'd realize this and try to cover it up LOL!)
So after trying to convince him that I know otherwise, he goes "Ok, I tell you?"
I said "Ok."
Then he goes: "But I'm ONLY going to tell you if you stop asking me to do things like this."
I said "Ok, ok." (you KNOW I didn't fully promise that, right?) :)
So he tells me what happened: "She showed up. My sister. And we started out talking nicely...."
When he told me that I just KNEW it did not end well. And I was right.
He continues: "We started talking nicely and then I broke down and told her about you and she knows that you are my girlfriend and that we've been going out for almost a year."
Wow! It was music to my ears.
"So she knows everything?" I asked him. "She knows that I am pregnant too?"
The music to my ears fades when he tells me "not yet." I was a bit mad but I couldn't be. He was crying and crying hard because I mean he and his sister had just fought and she left very angry with him.
She asked if Lucia knew about me and him and he told her the truth: NO. She was REALLY mad by that and told him "Cele, you know what you are doing. You are not a kid anymore. You know exactly what you're doing. It's your life."
He then goes on to tell me that she left angry and that he is worried that his parents could find out and if THEY do, then Lucia will.
I did not say anything just gave him sympathy for him and his sister fighting and also told him "thank you."
So that's all that has happened. We got into a pretty good-sized fight on New Year's Eve and we both said "Good luck and Good Bye." I even told him that I did not want to have this baby.
16 minutes later he called me back and said "I'm going to the city and you do your thing and I'll do mine."
Another "Good Luck and Good Bye" was said and that was that.
That was around a little after 7pm. Then around 10pm he called back and was literally in tears! He told me "Forgive me Megan for all that I told you. I'm sorry. Forgive me, but you too said some things that I will never forget."
I asked him for forgiveness as well and told him that I am scared that he is not going to be in this baby's life.
He told me "How can you say that? And how could you say that you do not want to have this baby when I already love it so much?"
Wow. I was shocked when he said that, I tell ya.
So we made up. He fell asleep while the New Year rang in, but that's ok. I got to hear him snoring hahaha to start the New Year. I really wanted to be WITH him while starting the New Year, but beggers can't be choosers, or so-to-speak LOL.
Everything is ok now...we are still a bit quiet with one another after that big fight. It was terrible. I've never cried SO MUCH in my life I do not think.
We shall see what happens. I go for another OBGYN appt on the 6th. I think we get to hear the baby's heartbeat and also get to see it on the ultrasound! Maybe I will have a picture for you if all goes well! :)
I'm still all nervous about this thing though and wonder: Can I really do it? Can I be a mother?
To start out: Cele and I talked on 30th and immediately I knew something was up. He told me that he was downtown in the city and watching the ships go by with his uncle Adolfo, and he was also thinking.
Hmm. Ok: So Cele is watching the ships go by and thinking? Not like him at all. The silence is then broken and he goes "You're right, Megan. Everything that you have said. You are right."
I was stunned and shocked. Here was a MAN who was telling a WOMAN that EVERYTHING she said was RIGHT. To make sure I was not hearing what I wanted to hear lol, I basically made him repeat it: "I am right about what?"
He told me everything that I have been telling him. About how his sister should know about me and him and how long we've been together, how I'm PG, etc.
He also apologized to me and asked me to forgive him because he has kept a secret of what we have.
The agreement: So that's what it was. Cele agreed with me and planned on telling his sister at her house on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. But of course, it seems like life planned something different.
The evening of the 30th, Cele's sister dropped by to talk with Cele. You see, Cele was supposed to call me at 9-9:30pm that night, but did not call me until a bit later. NEVER like him. He's always early or on the dot. Therefore, I knew something was up.
I really thought he was drinking again or something like that, but it wasn't. Not at all. I could hear in his voice that something had happened and of course, you know how I am, I was curious!
I told him "What's up? You are very quiet. Something happened, is everything ok?"
He laughs while telling me that "nothing is wrong" blah blah blah
If there's one thing I know: When Cele is lying or fibbing or trying to pull one over on me, he laughs. Any kind of chuckle or laugh. Even a nervous laugh. (You THINK he'd realize this and try to cover it up LOL!)
So after trying to convince him that I know otherwise, he goes "Ok, I tell you?"
I said "Ok."
Then he goes: "But I'm ONLY going to tell you if you stop asking me to do things like this."
I said "Ok, ok." (you KNOW I didn't fully promise that, right?) :)
So he tells me what happened: "She showed up. My sister. And we started out talking nicely...."
When he told me that I just KNEW it did not end well. And I was right.
He continues: "We started talking nicely and then I broke down and told her about you and she knows that you are my girlfriend and that we've been going out for almost a year."
Wow! It was music to my ears.
"So she knows everything?" I asked him. "She knows that I am pregnant too?"
The music to my ears fades when he tells me "not yet." I was a bit mad but I couldn't be. He was crying and crying hard because I mean he and his sister had just fought and she left very angry with him.
She asked if Lucia knew about me and him and he told her the truth: NO. She was REALLY mad by that and told him "Cele, you know what you are doing. You are not a kid anymore. You know exactly what you're doing. It's your life."
He then goes on to tell me that she left angry and that he is worried that his parents could find out and if THEY do, then Lucia will.
I did not say anything just gave him sympathy for him and his sister fighting and also told him "thank you."
So that's all that has happened. We got into a pretty good-sized fight on New Year's Eve and we both said "Good luck and Good Bye." I even told him that I did not want to have this baby.
16 minutes later he called me back and said "I'm going to the city and you do your thing and I'll do mine."
Another "Good Luck and Good Bye" was said and that was that.
That was around a little after 7pm. Then around 10pm he called back and was literally in tears! He told me "Forgive me Megan for all that I told you. I'm sorry. Forgive me, but you too said some things that I will never forget."
I asked him for forgiveness as well and told him that I am scared that he is not going to be in this baby's life.
He told me "How can you say that? And how could you say that you do not want to have this baby when I already love it so much?"
Wow. I was shocked when he said that, I tell ya.
So we made up. He fell asleep while the New Year rang in, but that's ok. I got to hear him snoring hahaha to start the New Year. I really wanted to be WITH him while starting the New Year, but beggers can't be choosers, or so-to-speak LOL.
Everything is ok now...we are still a bit quiet with one another after that big fight. It was terrible. I've never cried SO MUCH in my life I do not think.
We shall see what happens. I go for another OBGYN appt on the 6th. I think we get to hear the baby's heartbeat and also get to see it on the ultrasound! Maybe I will have a picture for you if all goes well! :)
I'm still all nervous about this thing though and wonder: Can I really do it? Can I be a mother?
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