The Ex, New Family, Mom, College, & the Catracho

I must warn you: THIS BLOG IS VERY LONG.


So this post is about MORE news of my "soap opera-ish life" that I've got going on down here in the South. When will the madness stop lol? It always seems when 1 door closes, well even before it is completely shut that 2nd puerta just HAS to open and I mean open W-I-D-E! Ugh.

So where shall I begin first?


First piece of news: The ex.


Yes, let's start with my ex...*sigh*...again. You know I really thought that he might have given up since there was this period of a few days of not hearing from him. He was calling me everyday and pouring out his corazón to me with each phone call up until those few days of silencio.


OMGSH where do I begin with him? Well, we talked for 3 HOURS that night he called me. The most time I have ever talked to A-N-Y-O-N-E in my life!


What did we talk about? Well what did we not talk about? Here's a list of what our convo mostly consisted of......


~His life; how he came to this country; his not-so-good past; his goals; his dreams; his plans...etc. We also talked about my life; our beliefs about immigration (with/without documents); a little bit of my past; my goals; my dreams; my plans, etc.


He told me that he used to be a "bad boy" long ago when he was 18,19,20. But he dropped those friends, stopped drugs, drinking and smoking and has turned his life around. This was all before I met him and we dated when I lived in NC. He also told me that he studies the Bible for 1 hour on Mondays and 2 hours on Wednesdays.


He told me how he came to this country. He came here on a VISA! That means his status here, is well, documented. He tells me how he feels SO bad for the ones that come here sin documentos and sometimes he lies and says he is undocumented as well because a couple of times, he has told the truth and his friends would call his racist because he is here documented.


He renews his visa every 3 years. Each time he goes back to Mexico and stays there for 5 days.


He also told me that when I confessed how I loved him and wanted to be with him and only him forever about a couple of months ago (before all this stuff with Cele started, mind you) well, it made him confused and there was 1 whole mes where we didn't talk. I said "the heck with it" and left him alone. Then he calls me up, well you read the blog right? And then there was the other one too.


Anyways! He told me that he finally knows what he wants. "You." He says. He wants me! And he says that after all these years (I have known him for 6 years, almost 7) well, there's a reason why we keep coming back and talking right? We agree that maybe God has a plan for us to be together. He goes "Well, someone wants us together!" I thought that was cute lol.


So he thinks I am working. I know I shouldn't lie to him, but it really is no concern of his if I'm working or not. Besides, I don't know what or IF anything is going to happen between me and him. Anyways! He told me that he would make plans to come see me and see where things go between us in July or August. If I "couldn't get time off from work" lol then in November he would definitely come.


He mentioned me moving up there. I could live with him, he would buy me a car and he'd find me a job.


OMG! Sounds like a fairytale, but I can't just pick up and leave!


I told him that too, I said


ME: "I would need to find a job there first."


HIM: "Well you can find one on the computer, right?"


ME: *hesitantly* "Umm, well yeah, probably. But then I would need a lot of money to go there. I would need a car -- "


HIM: "I would buy you your car."


ME: "Really? Well, that is very nice of you but it is more than that. I would need to find a place to live and -- "


HIM: "You can live with me."


The conversation continued on a bit longer but I don't really remember all the details lol. I am still in shock that he is saying what I've wanted him to say TWO FREAKIN' YEARS AGO!


He also mentioned that when he comes to see me here in GA....


HIM: "I will come to see you and stay 5 days. Maybe I will never go back to NC because I don't want to just see you for 5 days. I want to wake up next to you and go to sleep next to you and see you for the rest of my life."


I am tearing up as I write this blog because again, I am torn between 2 lovers. Isn't that a song? It is isn't it? I swear that is like my theme song for my life. It always seems that I am always having to CHOOSE between 2 or 3 guys.


My mom is right. I have come to that conclusion. She is right. She says "Megan, you will never be alone."


My God she is right. I have all these guys that like me. I remember this older co-worker of mine when I worked as a limpieza in the hotel. He goes "Megan, how come everyone wants to marry you/go out with you? What do you got that these guys want? Something that I don't have. Oh, if I was younger." Yes, he liked me too, but he was older and well, I already had an experience with the Viejo, that freakin' 40-yr-old and NEVER again will I continue to make a mistake like that one again.


So if the Chivito is 40 or even CLOSE to 40, well "Adios" to him because you know he would have SOME kind of baggage back in Mexico!




Now onto the second piece of news: Family Reunion.


Yup. It is all about reuniting and getting reacquainted with my real father's family. The family that I really never kept in touch with. Anyways, there is a reunion in July 2009. It is very nerve-wracking and exciting all at the same time. I have all these different emotions. I mean I have sisters (half-sisters) but anyways, they are blood-related and they are out there and I will possibly be meeting them! I have always thought of myself as an only child, well no more I guess lol! More on that in another blog though.........


The third piece of news: College


Yes, it is that time. Back to school for moi. My plans are to apply and send out my application next month. I would have done it THIS month, but I need to pay some bills and get this STUPID waiver packet thing out for the Catracho. How am I going to pay these bills if I don't have a job? Well, mi mamá is generous and kind and just WONDERFUL enough to pay me to do certain things around the house everyday. I really appreciate that she has always stuck by me....I am just REALLY sad that she will be giving me money to pay for her Mother's Day gift! I owe her BIGTIME. :( I honestly do not know what I would do without her.


The fourth piece of news: The Catracho.


I am wiping my hands clean of all this immigration bullsh*t once and for all. I am sending this hardship letter (HSL) and waiver packet to him on Saturday whether it is good or not. I worked on it as much as I could and half the lovey dovey parts in the letter are phony since I wrote it a long time ago when things were good between us.


But I told him after I send this out, THAT IS IT. I'm done. I'm not sending no money to him (haven't anyways and don't plan on it) and if it gets approved, good for him. If not, better luck next time. I know I might sound cold, but you have NO idea what I have gone thru with this Catracho! And to think that I MARRIED him?! Ugh, what in the world was I thinking.


That no one else would marry me? He has had it "drilled" in my head for the longest time that HE is the ONLY one that has EVER loved me. Marcial, that ex I mentioned first in this blog, "Oh he just used you. He wanted papers." That's what the Catracho said! All my exes had feelings for me. The Catracho just thinks that HE is the ONLY one that can and will EVER love me. WRONG!


It's obvious all my exes had feelings for me, I mean they all came back. But of course, I knew better and was strong enough to say "No, ya had your chance. Ya blew it." I didn't really say it in those words, after all, actions speak louder than words right? Right.




Now as for the Chivito. He is either lying or telling the truth. I am going to keep my heart safe, yes, BUT I am NOT going to keep a brick wall over it. If I get hurt with this one, then I take it as he was just a stepping stone until Marcial came to his senses and it is meant to be with him.


Who knows what life will bring to me tomorrow, the next day, next week, next month or even this or next year? But I'm up for the challenges. After all, God never gives you too much that He knows you cannot handle, right? Exactamente.


I'm just happy to have made the decision about studying again, and this time my passion: Spanish! :o)