What is with this guy!? I am literally SHOCKED at all this.
He tells me that when I called him up back in February and told him all that stuff, well it confused him because I had not called him in SUCH a long time (a year or two) and well, he was confused and didn't know what to think, much less what he wanted.
His cell phone supposably did break and he didn't get a new one for one month but also during that one month, he thought A LOT about what I had told him.
And now he knows what he wants. "I want YOU, Megan."
Sure, it sounds all sweet and like a fairy tale-type thing, but hey! What am I going to do about the Chivito? I REALLY REALLY like him.
My ex asked me what do I think about all this? Wellll...I told him that I do still like him (b/c I do) but I think it is best that we see each other to see if the "spark" is still there and to see if we still have the same feelings.
I honestly think that is the ONLY way I will ever know and the ONLY way to get closure, IF I don't feel anything for him.
That is what happened with my last 2 ex's. My second boyfriend, the one I loved so much and lost my virginity to (mistake, but we all make them, right?)...Anyways, about a week I will say after we were intimate together, he ups and goes to Mexico because he thought I was PG! What a moron, now that I look back on it. But at the time I was devastated, hurt, confused and totally smitten with this guy. And he gave me a ring too after we were intimate and I thought "Yup, he's the one" and all that mumbo jumbo stuff.
Sooo 2 years later, I am up in NY visiting my grandfather with my mom and I get a phone call from my stepdad (who had to stay home) saying "a Hispanic came to the door" and he was "short and wanted to talk to you" OMG! I was shocked.
My stepdad also said that this guy gave him a # for me to call and he thinks it was my ex, Elidio.
Of course, I called him and he said "Te quiero con todo mi corazon" and that he wanted to see me and was back in NC....yadda, yadda, yadda. I was SO happy! Finally after 2 years, he was back.
Sure, I thought it would be simple: We would continue our relationship right where we left off. I was wrong. He had changed. BIG TIME. He looked like he had been through a lot and he was a BIG drinker. Something I didn't want in my life. I tried for about a week or so to make it work, but I couldn't.
Bottom line: I didn't feel the same way about him. That was my closure and that was that.
THEN, there's Felix. He was my first boyfriend and I was totally smitten with him, but then again I had just turned 17 and he was 23 going on 24! I know, I know. Bad idea. But we were together only 3 months. He probably had a wife or other woman on the side and kids, ¿quien sabe?
Sooo let's see, at the time I was getting to know my ex, yes, Marcial, the one who called me up yesterday and early early this mañana. I am going to say about 3 years later, Felix came to my door telling me that he treated me wrong and bad but he has changed and he wants to marry me. He also tells me "You know I need papers, right?"
Uh, hello! I think I know that.
I invite him into my house (we were sitting on my front porch) and he goes "No thank you, if I go inside I won't be able to kiss you" OMG of course that sounded SO good and romantic coming from him en español.
So I stood up and we said our goodbyes after I told him I was getting to know someone and that he treats me well (after being asked by him "Does he treat you better than I did? Because you deserve to be treated good.") He asks to kiss me and I say in my head "What the heck."
So we kiss, but there is NADA there. No connection, nothing. The kiss had no spark. He asked me if I felt anything. I told him "No sé" (I don't know) and he told me "well you have my # right?" I tell him "Yes" and he goes "If you felt something, call me."
OMG. Sorry, Felix! Won't be calling you! (lol--no I didn't tell him that I just left it as I didn't know)
So as you can see, the best thing right now is to see Marcial again and see if there IS still a spark, connection or what have you between us. There could be or there could not be.
The thing that scares me is What if there is? :/
4 comments:
I wondered what the big news was ... oh lord. (Poor Celestino)
I can relate with the way you feel though because I have this one ex that crumples my feathers too.
When we were together things were soooo good but he wasn't able to make a commitment. Wouldn't you know that AFTER I married my current husband he called me up begging me to divorce ... WTF?
To this day when I see him I think "idiot". I do care about him and what happens to him, not enough to give up what I have though.
After making so many mistakes when I was younger I decided to implement a two week rule to keep from making any quick decisions.
Maybe you should sleep on this one for two weeks, really weigh it out and if you feel compelled to see him; do it.
I don't know who to cheer for though; the ex or pobre Celestino! lol
Good luck on this one,
-Lisa :)
I was browsing through some Honduras-related blogs and came across a link to your post. After reading your latest post, I couldn’t help but to go back and read your prior entries as well. Here are a few observations:
1. First, I want to say that I truly feel sorry for you. Your vivid and candid description of past relationships point to the naïve and immature woman looking for “love, acceptance, and self-esteem” with the wrong people!
2. Second, please take a moment to reflect on your past relationships. Try to rescue some self-respect! I guess the fact that you are overweight gives rise to personal insecurities that the male Hispanic community has been able to easily and continually exploit.
3. Finally, do yourself a favor and resolve your “marriage” before getting seriously involved in another relationship. This can come back to haunt your relationship if things proceed to a different level.
Not long ago, through church-based community service, I observed quite a few relationships similar to yours (illegal immigrant-Anglo overweight/insecure woman) and the common denominator was a relationship of convenience and a means to an end (i.e. meal ticket and/or green card). I guess some of some folks felt comfortable confiding in me the fact! You see, I’m Hispanic and originally from Honduras. During my time doing community service, I don’t think I came across a single healthy, nurturing, synergistic, and loving relationship. This is not to say that all relationships under similar circumstances are of convenience. I’m sure there are some successful relationships of this kind out there; however, I haven’t come across one yet!
Interestingly, I’ve been described as someone that internalizes everything and a cold pr*ck. You used the same language to describe your Honduran husband. Hahaha...I guess deep down inside, I still have some catracho lingering around! Ughhhh....
this message is for URDUN,
I happen to read your comment, and here are a few observations:
1.first, I would like to say, that if you don't have anything nice to say, you should mind your own business..
2.your life has to be pretty boring to find fault in someone's posting's. I think you should take a moment to reflect your LIFE.. and that we truly feel sorry for YOU.. and as finding love, and acceptance, and self esteem, well, how do you think people learn that it's the wrong person.
3.take a moment to reflect how unhappy you are in life, to be able to write such things to people you don't even know, beable to judge them. but, I guess you being from honduras, goes to show EXACTLY what she's talking about. I can see how you call yourself a cold pr*ck. only people like yourself think women are insecure..maybe you should really think about moving back there.. and start observing your own life, maybe you'd learn more......I truly hope you get the help you need to get a better attitude in life..
I just wanted to say, that I didn't mean for it to sound like all people from honduras are rude.
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