I Feel Really Weird About This

So I am trying to figure out why I feel kind of weird when talking to the Chivito. I mean we had this 'argument' or whatever; if you really want to call it that, since we didn't even yell at each other. It just consisted of both of us crying.

Anyways, he called me up this afternoon and he said "¿Que tienes?" which basically means "What's going on with you?" since I know my voice sounded a bit different b/c I REALLY feel weird talking to him now.

I don't know, maybe I am making a big deal about this than it really is? I still feel bad that I made him cry. He is a sensitive person and he told me this way in the beginning before ever crying in front of me!

I guess maybe I feel weird because I know I was wrong with the things I said. I have to learn to trust others. It is just ever since the Viejo lied to me about practically todo, well I just am very leery with any other guy that I meet. I mean with my ex Marcial, I feel hesitant/weird with him too and I knew him before and even longer than the Viejo!

How can I stop feeling weird with the Chivito? We have talked many times and I've told him perdoname but he just says "Megan, I'm not going to forgive you for something that you didn't even do. It's fine, don't worry."

Why can't I just let it go?!

Maybe it is because I haven't seen him since that little 'spat' on the phone between us?

If anyone has any ideas (or whatever), throw 'em out at me, whether negative or positive. :)

OMGSH I Feel SO Bad!

I talked to the Chivito today, this evening and tonight MANY times.

The last time we talked he told me that he would call me in 5 or 10 minutes. Well, I look at the clock and it is after 10! He told me he'd call me back when it was 7 something!

I decide to call him up since I wanted to say goodnight to him since he's back to work after working 1 long hard week last week, but our conversation turned into something I really didn't think it would.

So when I called him, he answered and I said "Chivito. 10 minutes, eh?" But I didn't sound mean or mad (at least I don't think I did) and I meant it jokingly. Right away he asks me if I am mad.

I tell him "Mad? No! I'm not mad. I just think it's funny, that's all"

So we get into talking and everything is fine but then I bring up that he sounds different. And he did. ALL the conversations today except for the first one, he sounded different. His voice was hyper and fast, he was talking so fast that it sounded like he was mumbling. And with each phone call he'd ask the same question "¿No saliste hoy?" ("You didn't go out today?") After the THIRD time of him asking me this, I started to get a bit bothered I guess you could say and well I said "I already told you, I didn't go out today". I mean honestly, how many times can a person be asked the SAME question over and over again until they answer it a bit bothered?

Sooo I came right out and told him. ¿Que te pasa? (What's up with you?) Why are you different? You are talking very fast and mumbling and I can't understand you. And you are saying my name with every sentence that you speak? It's not normal.

I swear it! In each and every sentence of his was my name! It was getting a bit tiring listening to his voice speak Spanish a mile a minute.

I mean I was accustomed to his slow-speaking voice that is always that way and that is speaking Spanish so I can understand it. I was accustomed to him saying my name a couple times per conversation on the phone. Not in every sentence!

I just felt something was up with him. No, nothing to do with another woman. I thought either he was drunk or had some kind of buzz or maybe, he had used drugs.

Now, the Chivito told me that he does not do drugs and does not drink. Well, he drinks just on only special occasions, like I do. Hey, drinking is fine, as long as it doesn't begin to get out of hand. You know what I mean.

But drugs? NO WAY. Does NOT fly with me. I won't put up with that and as much as I care for the Chivito, I would be saying 'Adios' to him as fast as you can say, well, "Adios"! :)

He did ask me? "Don't you like it?" Meaning the way his voice was. I was like "Well, if it was normal, yes. I'm not accustomed to you voice being so fast and you saying my name a lot." I also told him "There IS something different about you. It's your voice. I don't know why it's different but I am going to find out why. I'm very smart you know."

Maybe those were not the right things to say. I guess it was the 'Hurt Megan' coming out thinking about all the hurt that happened with all those losers in my past and how I couldn't trust them. I am not good with words, I'm the first to admit it. But I had to tell him what I was feeling because communication is important, right?

Well then he starts crying, and I don't mean whimpering. He starts llorando. I don't have a problem with it and I start to tear up too. He told me that I have every right to tell him what I told him, he loves me with all his heart and soul but I don't trust him. I don't believe him and it hurts. He also said "Ay Dios mio, por que no confias en mi?" I believe that means "Oh my God, why don't you trust me?" At least that is how I interpret it! :)

I start to feel really bad and I tell him "Chivito, I do trust you. I do believe you. Just forget what I said. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me. Forgive me."

I felt SO bad. He starts to cry a bit harder and I can barely understand him now because he is crying more. He tells me again that he loves me with all his heart and soul but the things that I had told him really made him hurt and feel bad.

So after me apologizing even more, we said our goodbyes and he said we will talk tomorrow.

I called him back 5 minutes later to apologize again. And then, guess what? I start crying!

It's one big cry fest! :'( It was so sad and I felt SO bad for hurting him. He told me there is nothing to forgive because I had right to ask him about why he was different. (maybe because he knows how much I have been hurt in the past with my exes, especially the last ex, José)

I have been asking the Chivito to see his I.D. lately too. He automatically says that I don't trust him and how can I love him so much when I don't trust or believe him.

I do care about him A LOT it is just I am SO scared of getting hurt again. I even told him (this I.D. stuff was when I last saw him). Anyways, I told him that if he is older than he says he is (25, soon to be 26 in May) like if he was in his 30s or 40s, just tell me. It is fine. Don't lie because I don't like lies and it will be no more between me and him.

I now know I have to be careful how I say things to him. I believe the stuff I mentioned about his I.D. and as well as how I said it to him, really hurt him as well. And then I go and say something about his voice and him acting different. ¡Mi pobre novio! :(

Anyone know any Taurus' that are really sensitive? I have read that they are.

I just hope that the Chivito doesn't think that I am one Cold Capricornio.

UPDATE: Wow! I just went in the kitchen to put a bowl of Chinese in and guess what # I see on the microwave? 19! How weird is that, since that is the Chivito's birthday (May 19th) and we had, well kind of our first "argument" tonight? Weird. I feel that in some way that is my grandparents way of telling me that everything is going to be alright between me and him. :)

Something That Has Been Bothering Me

This is kind of a venting post, so please bear with me.

I was skimming through Yahoo Answer pages (it is one of my most-read sites) and well, it was a pretty interesting question and answer that I found.

Q: "Do Latino and Mexican Men...Like Caucasian Women...?"

Many people seem to think and automatically assume immediately that when they see a Mexican/Hispanic/Latino with a Caucasian woman, that that guy is "illegal" and is using that woman for papers and to get some legality. (I don't believe in the word "illegal" as I have said many times before and really it should be undocumented)

I AM DREADFULLY TIRED OF THIS BULLSH*T. It comes down to the point where it is a broken record with these people who think this sh*t. I am SO tired of it.

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To The People Who Believe What I Mentioned Above:

Just because you see a Hispanic/Latino/Mexican with a white woman, does NOT mean that he is "just out for papers and legality" with her. Did you ever just stop and think that maybe, just maybe he loves her? And I mean truly loves her without any added bonus? Love comes in all different colors, races, religions, etc. You name it.

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On Yahoo! Answers, a girl who has a boyfriend that is Mexican, answers the question that I wrote above and I must say that I couldn't have written it any better than this:

"I think a lot depends on what area they are from....where my boyfriend is from, they are extremely fond of "gringas"...lol, and despite everyone who told me "Oh, Mexican guys have no respect for white girls, they just use them...", I have not found that to be true of him at all.

In fact, just the opposite could be said, I don't think I've ever been with any man who treated me with more respect than he does. He is the kindest, most honest, and most passionate person I have ever known, but maybe that has nothing to do with his race, just who he is.

I don't know why the combination is not well accepted, but I have a few theories...I think Mexicans have gotten a bad rap in a lot of cases because some are big time players, or just come here to fool around for a while then go back home [to] the wife their girlfriend never knew they had...I think as a result, a lot of people have a negative view of Mexican-American relationships...I know a lot of people have said negative things to me since we began dating, but you just have to let it go....[.........................]....

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You can find the rest of her answer here.

I didn't put the rest since it didn't really have anything to do with this blog post. :)

Anyways, when she mentions in her answer that everyone has told her that basically all Mexican guys disrespect and use white girls, to me that is FALSE!

I do agree however, when she said that some Mexicans (or Hispanics/Latinos) are players and mess around with other women until they go back to their wives back home.

You have your bad eggs and your good ones, so-to-speak.

The thing that I despise the most is when someone sees you are in a relationship with a Mexican/Hispanic/Latino and says something out of the way like...Oh, I can think of a million responses:

1. "Just make sure he isn't using you for papers"

OR

2. "He just wants papers"

OR

3. "He probably has a wife/girlfriend/kids back home"

OR

4. "He just wants a free ride" (especially if he is a little bit older than you)

OR

5. "Make sure he has some kind of legality before getting involved with him"

Because basically, if I don't, then he will use me for papers right? Rrrrright.

OR

6. "Are you sure he is who he says he is?"

OR

7. "Any guy that says 'I love you' too fast is just out for one thing: Legality"

I could go on and on and on of the bullsh*t that I have heard from people, especially lately!

Sure, I haven't had the BEST relationships with the Mexicans/Latinos I have dated, but I've learned from those relationships and I know now that no, not everyone is who they say they are.

BUT

Another lesson that I have learned (well basically I have believed no matter what anyone else says) is that Mexicans, Latinos, Hispanics, etc. all have the same feelings and want the same things as us Americans. Do you ever stop and think that maybe someone crosses that border for a better life, of course, but also because maybe they are looking for someone to love them possibly? Someone for them to love in return?

ANYONE who says ANYTHING out of the way as far as Mexicans/Hispanics/Latinos who are with white women and have no legality and automatically say that they are using them to get papers without knowing the people or their situation or what and how much they have been through together? Well, you are on my sh*t list. As far as I'm concerned, you are just jealous because you lucked out and are not happy with your own life.

Put yourself in my shoes or in any woman's shoes for that matter: You have a Mexican/Hispanic/Latino boyfriend or husband and people always assume he is going to use you, is using you or has used you. How would you feel? I GUARANTEE that you would stick up for the man you are with, right?

Next time you see a couple that consists of a "Mexican" (could be a Hispanic or Latino you know too!) and a Caucasian woman, I would think twice before you say "Oh he's just using her for [fill in the blank]"

Thank you for letting me vent and if you read this long blog post, thank you! :)

So I Think I Have Found It!

Found what you ask? Why the school that I would like to study with for my Bachelor's in Foreign Language.

What foreign language you ask?

Why, Spanish!

And no, it's not just because I adore Mexican (or Hispanic, Latino, etc.) men! No, no. It is because ever since...well I'll tell you the quick story of how my love of Spanish came to be:

"It was a cold winter night..."

Just kidding!

Actually, I have no idea what the weather was during that time, but I was studying French in junior high. My parents had come up with the idea of moving to a different city, about a 1/2 hour away, and of course I was completely against it. I mean after all, how could they do this to ME?! Their daughter!

So anyways, we ended up moving after nights of crying myself to sleep and screaming back and forth/arguing about EVERYTHING with my parents. Okay, so maybe I wasn't that bad, but I remember I was devastated.

Of course, if I knew what I knew now heck I would have been the first one in the moving truck ROFL!

Okay so we got all settled in our new home and my mom and I went to check out my new school. I did really great and got all A's in my French class in my last school and had planned on taking French at my new school. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Bad news: Turns out, this new school of mine did not have French. I could not believe my luck!

I hated the move even more.

Well, so I went along with the new guidance counselor, remember those everyone? :) She suggested Spanish. What could I use THAT for?

(As close-minded as this will sound, I didn't even know what a Hispanic, Latino or Mexican was! I had not ever seen any that lived in NY where I came from until I moved to NC.)

So anyways, I ended up taking Spanish. And Spanish 2 and 3...when I moved to NC my Spanish wasn't advanced enough so I had to go down one level, but that's a different story in itself.

On my first day of Spanish class in that new school, I was very hesitant about whether I would like it or not.

Turns out Spanish came to me naturally. Turns out it was my passion. (still is, even though it can frustrate me when I don't get the words right/understand what people are saying!) But practice makes perfect.

When I moved to NC, I became friends with this nice girl from Mexico and I would visit her house a few times on the weekends and she and I would practice my Spanish and then I would teach her parents English a bit.

Anyways, wouldn't you know she asked me a couple of times: "Are you part Spanish?" and "Are you sure?" She really thought my accent was good and sounded just like a native.

Hey, now that was a compliment. :)

So now, that story brings me to the reason for this blog post. I have always wanted to major in Spanish and get either my Bachelor's, Master's or Doctorate.

I am not 100% sure on the school yet, but I have found one. 3-4 years it will take to get my Bachelor's in Foreign Language. Then si Dios quiere I will transfer to another college and get my Doctorate.

The doctorate plan is really up in the air right now, but going back to college is not. I really want to do this!

I will keep you all updated!

:o)

An Update To The Big News

Well, my ex called me again twice. Once around 11pm and another time at 2am!

What is with this guy!? I am literally SHOCKED at all this.

He tells me that when I called him up back in February and told him all that stuff, well it confused him because I had not called him in SUCH a long time (a year or two) and well, he was confused and didn't know what to think, much less what he wanted.

His cell phone supposably did break and he didn't get a new one for one month but also during that one month, he thought A LOT about what I had told him.

And now he knows what he wants. "I want YOU, Megan."

Sure, it sounds all sweet and like a fairy tale-type thing, but hey! What am I going to do about the Chivito? I REALLY REALLY like him.

My ex asked me what do I think about all this? Wellll...I told him that I do still like him (b/c I do) but I think it is best that we see each other to see if the "spark" is still there and to see if we still have the same feelings.

I honestly think that is the ONLY way I will ever know and the ONLY way to get closure, IF I don't feel anything for him.

That is what happened with my last 2 ex's. My second boyfriend, the one I loved so much and lost my virginity to (mistake, but we all make them, right?)...Anyways, about a week I will say after we were intimate together, he ups and goes to Mexico because he thought I was PG! What a moron, now that I look back on it. But at the time I was devastated, hurt, confused and totally smitten with this guy. And he gave me a ring too after we were intimate and I thought "Yup, he's the one" and all that mumbo jumbo stuff.

Sooo 2 years later, I am up in NY visiting my grandfather with my mom and I get a phone call from my stepdad (who had to stay home) saying "a Hispanic came to the door" and he was "short and wanted to talk to you" OMG! I was shocked.

My stepdad also said that this guy gave him a # for me to call and he thinks it was my ex, Elidio.

Of course, I called him and he said "Te quiero con todo mi corazon" and that he wanted to see me and was back in NC....yadda, yadda, yadda. I was SO happy! Finally after 2 years, he was back.

Sure, I thought it would be simple: We would continue our relationship right where we left off. I was wrong. He had changed. BIG TIME. He looked like he had been through a lot and he was a BIG drinker. Something I didn't want in my life. I tried for about a week or so to make it work, but I couldn't.

Bottom line: I didn't feel the same way about him. That was my closure and that was that.

THEN, there's Felix. He was my first boyfriend and I was totally smitten with him, but then again I had just turned 17 and he was 23 going on 24! I know, I know. Bad idea. But we were together only 3 months. He probably had a wife or other woman on the side and kids, ¿quien sabe?

Sooo let's see, at the time I was getting to know my ex, yes, Marcial, the one who called me up yesterday and early early this mañana. I am going to say about 3 years later, Felix came to my door telling me that he treated me wrong and bad but he has changed and he wants to marry me. He also tells me "You know I need papers, right?"

Uh, hello! I think I know that.

I invite him into my house (we were sitting on my front porch) and he goes "No thank you, if I go inside I won't be able to kiss you" OMG of course that sounded SO good and romantic coming from him en español.

So I stood up and we said our goodbyes after I told him I was getting to know someone and that he treats me well (after being asked by him "Does he treat you better than I did? Because you deserve to be treated good.") He asks to kiss me and I say in my head "What the heck."

So we kiss, but there is NADA there. No connection, nothing. The kiss had no spark. He asked me if I felt anything. I told him "No sé" (I don't know) and he told me "well you have my # right?" I tell him "Yes" and he goes "If you felt something, call me."

OMG. Sorry, Felix! Won't be calling you! (lol--no I didn't tell him that I just left it as I didn't know)

So as you can see, the best thing right now is to see Marcial again and see if there IS still a spark, connection or what have you between us. There could be or there could not be.

The thing that scares me is What if there is? :/

Oh My Word!

** I have some interesting news. I'm going to the library and I'll be back to blog about it soon **

Okay, so turned out the library was closed! Darn it! :o(

So here is my news:

My ex called me today. Otro mexicano. Otro tauro. A guy that I had called when I hadn't fallen for the Chivito yet and told him that he was my "one and only" and that I wanted to marry him, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I was shocked when I heard his voice on the other end. I never expected him to call, after all it had been since the end of February since we last had spoken. He told me he wanted to spend time with me at Myrtle Beach for Spring Break, those plans never came about and he never called me.

He told me that he was "sorry he hadn't called in such a long time." It was because he broke his cell phone and he had lost my number. But then, 'magically' he had found my number in his pants pocket. So he never had washed those pants then? That's what I wanted to ask him, but I would have said it and I know it would have sounded rude.

He told me that his friend that he works with was asking him about his ex novias and that he was talking about me all day with his friend. His friend called him estupido for letting me go and also because when I moved, my parents had invited him to go and live with us, but he had said 'no'. Estupido move, his amigo tells him.

My ex also tells me that his amigo has been basically bugging him and asking him "Why haven't you called her?" and "Why don't you call her?" He told his friend that he'd be calling me today.

And he did.

A part of me believes that he does still care about me, but then the other part of me believes that he is kicking himself and being pressured by his amigo.

Quien sabe though?

I really need a psychic lol! I've got all these guys who want to marry me: the Catracho I'm already married to, well he wants to 'get back with me' and save our marriage. The Chivito, the sexi mexicano that I have fallen for, well he told me right in the beginning of meeting "Megan, ya me estoy enamorado de ti, so don't make me suffer." THEN he asked me if I would marry him!

Of course I told him that #1, I'm already married and have to fix that problem y #2, I need to AT LEAST date and get to know him a year or 2 before I think about otro marriage!

Then I have this ex, his name is Marcial by the way. He tells me that he doesn't want to be lonely anymore and that he wants a change. That he wants to move down here to Georgia, get us an apartment together and share a car together.

Umm, WOW!!!

This is ALL too much right now. My ex also tells me that whenever he thinks about going back to Mexico, he stops and says "I can't because my wife is already here. You." OMG. I was like what the heck is going on?

This vida is sure throwing me some interesting things lately. Things could be much worse, I know. But this always seems to happen to me.

Why is it that when I find some guy that I am interested in, and I mean really interested in, an ex pops up from out of the woodwork.

I hate that.

I think maybe I should make a list of pros and cons with each one or algo. I am going to go loca, I can tell you that.

It's hard, one is here documented (I despise that word legal y illegal, no such thing in my book. God didn't make anyone legal or illegal. Todo el mundo is igual), and the other hombre is undocumented.

I KNOW that shouldn't make a difference, but the one who is undocumented could be caught by Immigration and shipped off back to Mexico...and I could go through todo what I went through with the Catracho that I am married to.

Ay, ¿Qué puedo hacer?

Or should I say: ¿Qué voy hacer?

The Talk

Okay, maybe the wrong title for this. Just didn't know what to name this blog post.

Anyways, the Chivito and I talked tonight and I was just going to talk to him face to face about the comment he made to me regarding my weight, but I decided tell him now because if I tell him later he will probably end up getting confused as to why didn't I tell him sooner.

So I told him. He goes "Did that bother you?" I said "Yes a little bit. It hurt my feelings." There is A LOT of silence through the conversation and I start to hear him sniffling. Now mind you this guy is sensitive.

He told me he wasn't crying but I think he was. I've seen him cry before (I know and I've only known him 3 months!) But hey, if he is comfortable crying in front of me/showing me his emotions, then that's a good thing right? :)

So he tells me that he will call me back at 9. Then he asks if I wanted to call him back. I said "sure" and that was that. We hang up and 9pm comes.

I call him and there is still silence and then I hear him say "Megan?" in this tiny and sad voice. I say "Yes?"

He says "Forgive me for what I said to you about your weight. I'm sorry."

I wasn't really expecting him to apologize but it is much better than what the Catracho would have said. "You're just hurt b/c I tell the truth and you don't like the truth." Nice huh? Yep, that's what the Catracho has always said.

I certainly didn't expect the Chivito to cry though. I'd much rather have someone who can show me their emotions though and who is sensitive then someone who keeps it all inside and is a cold pr*ck like the Catracho I'm married to.

I Need A Change

I am seriously thinking about studying online. I have NO idea where to begin though. Any advice on good schools to study online with?

I was enrolled with a Medical Transcription site...M-Tec and I really liked it but I was at a time during my life where I couldn't concentrate. The Catracho I married was doing whatever the h*ll he wanted (drinking a lot, partying at any hour of the day/night, and God knows what else)...anyways, I was worried about "saving" my relationship with him at the time.

But right now, him and I are not together. I am unemployed (still searching for a job and applying, but no luck yet) and well, I don't have any other commitments. I only see the Chivito once a week now since we don't work together anymore.

Any advice? Ideas? Help me out readers! I'm SURE you all know of some good place that I can study with! Right???

Quizzes From La Gringa! Thanks! :)

It is 8:44 in the morning and I'm up and at it and...taking quizzes already LOL!

Hey, someone's gotta do it, right? LOL

Here are some interesting and fun quizzes I took. Thanks again, La Gringa!


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Capricornio:

Lets101 Quizzes - Quizzes for Fun

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Okay, I agree with all of the above but...what in the world does "love to bust" mean? Does that mean something like "love to joke around all the time" or....?

Any thoughts? Okay, moving on. :)

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A witch? Hmm...interesting...

Megita was a Simple Witch in a past life. http://www.quizmeme.com/pastlife/quiz.php

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The Rat:

Lets101 Quizzes - Fun Quiz

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Any for more fun... Best Compatible Zodiac Signs

Lets101 Quizzes - Fun Quizzes

From what I can see the top 3 zodiac signs best compatible with me are...

Pisces, Taurus, and Cancer.

Well, I have had my share with a Pisces, that was the 40 year old (el Viejo) who lied to me, well MANY lies! "A dirty Mexican" as my best amigo mexicano said. And he was right. Ugh.

As for Taurus, used to date one back when I lived in NC and we connected quite well, except he was VERY indecisive and well, had a hard time sticking to whether he wanted to be with me or not.

Chivito is a Taurus. I find I get along with Taurus' better than any zodiac sign, well for now since I have not met ALL zodiac signs LOL!

One last quiz. Sorry I went all out with 'em! :)

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Glad to see my blog is not badly rated!

This Page is Rated

PG-13

theguera.blogspot.com/

Lets101 Quizzes - Fun Quiz

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My First *Venting* Post

So the Chivito called me up today and well, here's how the convo that bothered me went (please keep in mind that this was all in Spanish between me and him):

Him: So what did you do today?

Me: I exercised, washed the dishes, vacuumed, you know the usual, my chores and stuff.

Him: Exercise, eh? Why?

Me: Because I want to lose weight.

Him: Why? Because you are getting fatter?

Me: Yes, I think I am. I mean -- well, what do you think?

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*The convo really should have just stopped right then and there before even asking him what he thought about my weight. But noooo, Megan always has to keep on talkin*

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Him: Yes, I see that you have gained some weight.

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My thoughts: OMG! Did he just say that?

So that really bothered me tonight and here's the rest of the convo. After that comment of him "seeing I've gained some weight" well, it heated up a bit from there.

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Him: Well, I have to get some sleep since I get up very soon.

Me: Yes, sleep. You have to get up early.

Him: You need to sleep too.

Me: Why? It's still early. I'm going to go to bed by 11 tonight.

Him: *in a joking voice* You are not going to obey me?

Me: Whoa, wait a minute! Obey you? I'm not going to obey you! I'm going to sleep when I want to.

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It's funny when I get mad or hurt about something and I have to say it in Spanish, it comes up faster than Speedy Gonzalez. It's like I don't even have to think about what I want to say, it just comes flowing out lol.

Anyways, back to the convo.

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Him: *acts surprised that I said I wasn't going to obey him and laughs a tiny bit* Well, I'm going to sleep now. I will call you tomorrow or when I leave for work.

Me: Okay, goodnight and take care.

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We hang up and then about 3 minutes later he calls me back and asks if it is okay if he asks me a question. I said sure, and tell him he can ask me whatever he wants, after all we are a couple.

Here's another part of the convo that is interesting, not bothersome but interesting cultural wise.

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Him: Do the women here, when they are married, do they do what they want to do.

Me: Well, it depends. I don't know, it is hard to explain it to you when I don't know that much Spanish.

Him: How can I explain it to you better... *thinking*... Like if the women want to go to another place, do they need permission or do they just go without asking or saying anything to their husbands?

Me: *A bit baffled by this question, but knew what he was getting at* Well, it still depends on the relationship. You mean if the women want to go to another place, say the store?

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(I got the store idea from the Viejo, he asked me this question before so I knew exactly what the Chivito was getting at)

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Him: Yes, like if they want to go to the store.

Me: Well, yes I think the woman should tell the man that she is going to the store. It's respect. But it goes 50/50 really. Like for example, you are working and the woman is home cooking dinner and you know that you are going to be late. It's respectful that the guy calls the woman and tells her he will be working later than usual. Stuff like that.

Him: Yes, sure.

Me: But then again, it all depends on the relationship.

Him: Yes, of course it does.

Me: Anymore questions for me?

Him: Umm, actually I have SO many questions for you.

Me: Ask me! :)

Him: You might not be able to understand what I am saying and I really don't know the easiest way to ask you and you probably won't understand me.

Me: Well ask me and maybe I will understand.

Him: Umm, let's wait until we are talking face to face, it's better.

Me: Okay.

Him: I have to get to sleep now. I will call you tomorrow when I leave for work.

Me: Okay, goodnight. Take care.

Him: You too, thank you. Goodnight. Te quiero.

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So it seems like we are at the stage of asking each other serious questions about each other's culture. Like what goes and what doesn't go.

I hope we can agree on most things. He really is sweet guy and about the weight thing above, yes it bothered me, but after all I was the one who asked what he thought. I dug myself a hole right there because he has been honest with me since day 1. Welllll as far as I know. I still have to be extra careful. Ever since that thing happened with José, well I've had my guard up since then and honestly? I'm scared a bit. But still just taking 1 day at a time.

Anyone want to shed light on the Mexican culture? (especially anyone who is with a Mexican) But then again, I know all guys are different. Doesn't matter the nationality or culture or wherever they come from, really. I think it matters how they grew up and how their family is. THAT is what I think matters.

All I can say is that the Chivito and I haven't had our first official argument yet. I know we will someday because it's only normal. But until then, time will tell with everything else. If it is meant to happen, then it will. :)

It Has Gotta Be Something Good!

It's my first post. I read many blogs online and I tend to get a bit celosa of all these talented and interesting bloggers out there.

To change it up a bit, each week I'm going to post an interesting article. We shall see how long this lasts though, because I tend to get *scatterbrained* so-to-speak and well, I tend to slack off a bit.

An interesting article I came across on the Internet this evening is quite, well kind of gross if you think about it.

Here's the article:

The German newspaper Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung (FAZ, German only) today published an article on space junk. The shocking image is an eye opener. Humankind continues to repeat the mistake of strewing waste into common spaces (no pun intended) without a thought to the consequences, leaving costs we don't want to pay today for the future generations. The FAS article spurred our curiosity, leading us to find even more spectacular video and potential solutions to the problem (overleaf).

The ESA Space Debris Accumulation video depicts the tragic build up of space debris from 1957 through 2000. According to ESA's resident space debris expert, Walter Flury, the 10,000 pieces of space litter catalogued at the end of 2003 break into the following categories:

• 41% -- miscellaneous fragments


• 22% -- old spacecraft


• 13% -- mission related objects


• 7% -- operational spacecraft


• 7% -- rocket bodies

Doing the math, that is 93% pure junk and only 7% useful satellites circling the earth. More disturbing, 50,000 uncatalogued objects larger than 1 cm (the largest size which modern shielding can likely deflect) are estimated to be spinning through space at hypervelocities.

The whole article is Here


The part about the 7% of rocket bodies...umm, really disgusting actually. You just wonder what is part of that 41% of miscellaneous fragments.


Okay, so it has been a long day. I talked with the Chivito 3-4 times today! Poor thing has to get up in 3 hours to go to work and be there by 2am!

I on the other hand will be going to bed soon. It's like him and I are on opposite sides of the world lol! Really, we are only 19 minutes away from each other!

Speaking of 19....his birthday is May 19th and I have a few things up my sleeve that I hope to plan. More on that later.

Well, going to bed soon. First I need to make a list of things to do tomorrow.

Buenas Noches