Employment Crossing

It has the most jobs everywhere!

It's a really nice site. Of course, you do need to sign up for a free trial, but I liked it!

If you are looking for that perfect position that suits you, and you want to look in other locations like if you are moving or even just curious -- this is the site for you.

Unlike searching on many sites all at once, you just need Employment Crossing. The jobs on here are always current and there are constant newsletters and updates.

Try it! Tomorrow could be the first day of the beginning of a new, exciting and rewarding career. :)

Upgrading . . .

You know that weird and kind of obnoxious commercial where the woman's voice is saying "Upgrade!" in regards to every little thing but yet it is just about Tampons LOL?

Well . . . that's what I have going through my head as I write this blog post regarding my little "upgrade". :D

This coming week I should be getting paid quite well I'm hoping and I've talked with my phone company and well, I qualify for an upgrade for a new phone.

And at a great time! I have dropped my phone many times and now I can't turn it completely off. IF I do, well, it won't come back on or I'll have to keep taking the battery out, blowing on the back of it, putting it back in and so on . . . UNTIL my cell wants to come back on! It's QUITE the pain in the culito! :/

So what new cell phone will I upgrade to? I've had my eye on this phone and am pretty sure I'm going to settle on it, but still, there are many phones out there . . . although, I can get this phone for free. That's mainly why I want it. I just have to pay like $10 for the shipping costs. NOT a bad deal. Oh -- And sign up with AT&T for another 2 years. Hmm.

OR I COULD just wait until November and get Verizon? BUT I did just sign up for 2 years with Cele's plan (the family plan) so not sure I can do that. I like AT&T though.

Choices upon choices, huh? :)

So I would like to go from this:

To this:

That's right! A RAZR-V3i to an LG Shine!

On another note, ONLY ONE HOUR has gone by with this job and I WISH it would go faster! Isn't that terrible? I don't know. I like this job, it's just, I don't know...NOT forever, I know that. But still, it's okay. It's not the best...though $12 an hour IS pretty good. And here I am typing on my blog...maybe I'd do better with inbound calls instead? THEY would be calling me. I don't mind calling others, I really don't. It's just you've GOT to have A LOT of discipline with outbound calls. I shouldn't even be NEAR a computer haha, but I've got to since that's where my call log is at! :)


Back to my upgrade. So what do ya think? I'm excited and feel that after almost 2 years w/ the SAME cell phone, heck, I deserve a new one right?

Well, we shall see what this week's pay brings me. If I can pay the $60 that I owe on last month's cell bill, then I will be able to get my new cell!

Yay!

If not, there's always next week :)

Another Conversation

Haha! Too bad there was a rabbit in this pic instead of another lamb. It would make more sense since last night Cele and I talked (blah, blah, blah,) and he is the chivito (little lamb) and I am the conejita (little rabbit). Maybe I'll have to tweak it a bit and cut out the other lamb and add a rabbit, sometime? :)

Anyways . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Cele and I talked for the longest time last night.

He told me his usual "te amos" and "te quieros" con todo his corazones. But then, he told me some other different things...things he had never said yet.

I wrote them down as he told me and asked him to repeat them again because honestly, I didn't know if I was hearing 'em right lol! :)

He told me that "en cambio, tu eres una buena persona". During this convo we were talking about that other mujer of his.

Then he told me that when he goes back to México he is going to tell her about me and him and tell her that he wants to stay with me. We discussed how she could react. I asked if she was the violent type and he told me 'no'. I told him that she could cry. He told me "Maybe" but he is not sure because in all of the years they've been together, she has not ONCE said "I love you" or "I miss you/missed you" or anything cariñoso to him. He told me that he thinks that she doesn't even love him at all and that he wants to be with me. He wants to stay with me because of the way I love him. He told me that I know how to love him and that the way I love him is how he's always wanted to be loved. Same here, I told him. :)

He told me that she is NOT a good person, and on the other hand, I am a good person. A good person for him and that he can feel that in his heart. I told him the same.

Anyways, onto about what more was said! I told him that we need to see each other more, but I understand that it's hard, since neither of us have a car. I told him that before I get a car I'd like to pay off this credit card because I owe them money and then once I get it paid off, I can maybe take out a loan for a good car...but I told him I wasn't sure if that was going to happen the way I'd like it to. I told him I owed the credit card company over $2,000!

He was shocked. He asked me what happened to the money and I told him: I spent it on a lawyer for the Catracho as well as sent him money for the "apartment" he was supposed to get down in Honduras AS WELL AS the "honeymoon" we were supposed to have.

I then told him what REALLY happened to the money that I sent to Daniel. The apartment and the honeymoon NEVER happened AND he had given it to his FAMILY!

Cele started crying (lol) and told me that he can't believe how ese tipo hurt me and how good of a woman I really am, especially my parents too, since I told Cele about how my parents and I have given and given and given to this Catracho. But no more, I told him. No more.

I could hear in his voice that there was still sadness and he told me that he doesn't like that I was hurt like that and how Daniel lied to me was wrong. He kept saying "No, no, no." I agreed.

He told me that he could NEVER take money from a woman, never and told me that "A woman's money is a woman's money."

Cele really is a good guy. You can tell how much respect for women he has. I know what SOME of you might be thinking: "Respectful towards women? He lied to you and is lying to the woman in Mexico. He lied about his kids."

Everyone has problems. He's come clean and I respect him for it. The respect I'm talking about is the things we've talked about. I mean this guy doesn't even like going out to clubs because he says "the people there disrespect the women and it's wrong."

He's a good man and I know this in my heart. I feel it, just like he feels that I am a good woman. This is my last post...AS FAR AS trying to convince future readers who comment regarding his lying, etc. that he IS a good man.

Regardless of what happens, he is a good man.



Okay, anyways. So we changed the topic and he started asking me questions about us possibly thinking about getting a car...and that he'd help me out each month to pay for it.

Then he said, which I thought was cute: "We don't have a car. We only have our hearts for each other. We understand each other."

That translation probably didn't come out right BUT I understand what he is saying lol. :)

Did I tell you what he called Daniel? Hahaha it's TOO funny and TOO true! He called him un estafador.

It means Daniel is a swindler. Kinda funny. I looked up the definition and basically it's when someone takes money and takes takes takes. Yup. Sums him up pretty well.


IF Cele DOES hold his end of the bargain and tells his other mujer about me and him and he says he DOES want to stay with me, well I'm kind of scared. I mean looked what happened to the other relationship with the Catracho? I don't even know if I WANT to get married again...guess I've got a LOT of time to think about that though? Right?

Another Talk With Cele

Cele called me this morning and wanted to come see me. He said he missed me SO much. OMG I miss him SO much too and am counting the days until I see him again! :) <3

I told him today is not really a good time since my step dad's sister (my step aunt, I guess you'd say?) well she is coming into town from Florida this evening.

He told me that he could take a bus there and then a taxi or bus home in the evening. Damn. It sounded like SUCH a great plan. . . of course, I was half asleep when he called me lol!

So I asked my mom just to make sure but unfortunately there was no green light with this one, I didn't really feel like walking down to the end of the street to meet Cele either, as I said before I was half-asleep! LOL :)

He was really disappointed because he was told he was getting off work very early and he was SO proud to finally know how and what bus to take in order to get off right near my house. He wanted to try it out on his own and feel proud, I'm quite sure.

But I had to turn down the offer. Of course, if I had lived alone you can bet your bottom dollar he would have been able to come over, but I live under my parents roof and basically if they want someone over, it happens; if not, it doesn't. Simple as that.

Hey, it's not a bad rule though. Could be much worse! I'm quite lucky ;)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A little while after I got up, I called Cele again and the poor guy was crying a bit and was really sad! He told me that he really wanted to see me today and that probably he won't ever be allowed in my casa again -- I told him that's not true. He feels REALLY bad for lying and I can hear it in his voice and when I was with him last Saturday and early Sunday morning, well I could see how bad he felt for lying to me for 6 months.

I told him that my mom (and step dad sometimes) freak out a bit when him and I talk SO much (I'm talkin AT LEAST 10 times a day or more LOL) because she knows his situation (as do I) and well, I told him that she is afraid that this is going to basically be a waste of my time and that he'll end up staying with HER.

He told me again that he loves ME and wants to stay with ME and not her. The main reason is because he really likes my "forma de ser" and that I really know how to love him the way he wants to be loved.

I told him I feel the same way and that I've been waiting for someone to treat me like this. He told me that he doesn't want to lose me and he doesn't want me or my parents to think bad of him. I told him to stop worrying and that he is welcome in our home, just today was not a good day.

He told me that he will stop worrying and that he feels better now. I told him that I am not going to be worrying about it either and that I feel fine as well. Besides, I told him, what is, is.


Work is quite boring today. Quite slow. I've talked to a couple of rude people too, not VERY nice I tell ya!

But it's a job, will help pay my bills, etc. Mejor que nada as me and Cele always say :)

Can't WAIT until I get to start studying! I need to get this brain working and thinking about OTHER things, eh? ;)

Bleeding Love

This song, Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, really describes how I am feeling during this time after reading all the comments from people and hearing the truth from Cele's lips. But more on that later. :)

I appreciate all opinions, you all know that, even though I may not agree with some, still, comments are welcome. :)

I was talking with my step father tonight after going to the bank and I said something aloud that just made sense to me. And to me (don't know about others), well it's true. So true.

"If you base your past relationships on your present or future relationships, then you are never going to be able to move forward."

Yup. I said it. And to me it makes sense. Every situation is different. I believe that Cele is genuine regarding his feelings for me. It is just something that others may not understand but since I am the one living this relationship with Cele, I can see how he feels for me. I can feel it, hear it, and see it.

Yes, he lied. I agree that that was disrespectful. Any lying is. But I forgive others. You have to forgive others in life, if you don't, you will live one heck of a miserable life. :/

With that said, I have decided that if I can forgive Cele for the lies he has told, well then I can certainly forgive Daniel (the Catracho) for all the things he has said to me and has done to me. No, I won't forget. But I forgive him.

And I forgive Cele, just haven't said anything to him yet. I will when the time is right. But in my heart I forgive him and I am interested in seeing how things go with me and him. If they go good, awesome. If they go bad, hey, another lesson learned.

Just because I have had bad experiences and just about all my exes have treated me bad and lied to me, DOES NOT mean that just because Cele lied that I'm automatically scratching him off my list. Uh uh. If I did that, I would not know what could be possible out of this relationship.

He treats me good and is still the best boyfriend yet. Yeah, I know some of you might be cringing and saying maybe things like I'm naive, desperate, or [fill in the blank with whatever ya got]. But you don't know. You only know what I've told you, you know? I'm not saying that there is more to this story, but well you know what I mean.

I feel like I'm rambling now lol.

I will leave you with this: In regards to my quote that I wrote up there, well it's true. And you know it.

Think about it. Just because past situations seem the same as a present situation DOES NOT mean that it is. EVERY and I mean EVERY situation is different. If you think that each and every situation is the same, well I'm sorry then you have a closed mind. My mind is open with every situation/relationship and I can tell you right now: Sure, they've got their similarities, what relationship doesn't? BUT they are ALL different. They all began different and they all ended different. All situations in life MAY have similarities BUT they are NEVER the exact same.

A good example would be with my first boyfriend. He never called me and I was the one always calling him. After him, my next boyfriend hardly ever called me either. Basically the same situation. But I pursued the relationship because I just wanted to see where it would go. We got along well. Hardly ever argued and I found out one of the qualities that I truly need in a relationship: Laughter. I can't have a relationship that is all serious and no humor or laughter. No way, just can't do it. I need someone that knows how to be serious when and if the time arises, but overall knows how to be easy-going and fun and playful. :)

An another great example would be my amiga Ojos Verdes: Her and I have an almost similar situation. BUT are they the EXACT same?

Nope. You want to know why?

Re-read this whole blog and you'll find the answer.

:) *sarcastic smile

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love lyrics

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

Ooooh...

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking 'round
Thinking I'm going crazy

Chorus:
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Oooh, oooh...

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal
Is to keep me from falling

Hey, yeah!

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe

Chorus:
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love



Song lyrics | Bleeding Love lyrics

So let's talk about this song real quick. Basically, it describes me, totally and what I am about to write was written by some people who posted on the song's website, but it is totally true and exactly my thoughts.

It is about how she has been hurt in the past by love and then she stopped trying. She meets this guy and falls fast and totally opens herself up to him. All of her friends thinks she's being crazy because of how fast she's going but her heart has been crippled because she keeps closing it, but this guy cuts it open and she doesn't try to make it stop. She lets it keep bleeding and bleeding because she's in love with him, despite what anyone else says.

Love it love, no matter what people think. Basically, despite the fact that you've been closed off for so long, and no matter how you try to fight the feeling, it's there. And it doesn't seem to end.

Okay, so where are the comments? I know you've got some! :)

The Other Woman

I was the other woman once . . . and just may be once again.

It was quite the interesting lesson. For those who don't know about the affair I had with José, who turned out to be as married as they get, let me fill you in:

I was working at the Westin as a housekeeper. That is where José and I met. It started out innocent. Waving to each other 10 times a day. Then one day, the day before he was supposed to leave, that's when it happened.

I was sitting in the cafeteria and saw him walk by and waved to him. He did the same. I told myself "Go ahead and get his name. What could it hurt?"

Instead he did EXACTLY what I had in my thoughts to do. He came over, introduced myself and immediately when we held hands (we didn't shake, just held) I had felt this bolt of electricity go through me and I felt an immediate connection.

Whether it was because he knew how to play the game, just an intense attraction or because he was Pisces and I'm a Cappy, I don't know. All I know is that there was a connection.

We talked. I remember his opening line and laugh now, kind of feel sorry for the schmuck lol. He asked me, pointing to the water bottle on the table I was sitting at "Is that water for me?" His accent was broken English and I remember telling him "You can have some if you like. Just grab a cup over there, put some ice in it and I can give you some."

He didn't have a CLUE what the heck I was saying.

We talked some more and then that was that. As he walked out I memorized the back of his shirt.

I ended up calling up the company to where he worked and left a message for him to call me. He called me back and I remember I jumped up in the air SO high when I heard his message on my voicemail.

He came to my work the next evening, picked me up and took me to a nice Chinese restaurant. We got along smashingly well I thought. . . He was funny too.

We dated from the end of October until about December-January. I was the other woman for about a month or so, didn't even KNOW it. I was SO naive that I couldn't put two and two together. I thought I was going to marry this guy, have kids with him, etc.

Nope. Turned out he was L-I-A-R. He wasn't 29 as he claimed, but 40 going on 41. He DID have a wife, as he told me, just like I had a husband. MY husband was in Honduras but his wife? No, she was NOT in Mexico. Never was. She was here the WHOLE time he was screwing around with me. P-I-G.

He told me he had 3 kids. Turned out he had 5 kids, two of them were right here with his wife. A 5 year old and a 6-month year old. How sad. How very sad.

He had told me everything I wanted to hear. He knew how to play the game. But eventually the "game" caught up with HIM and well, his wife found out about me. She said she wanted nothing to do with him. She and I argued on the phone a few times until she called me up to apologize -- we talked for about an hour and well, she told me that it was all HIS fault because of all the lies he told.

P-I-G. I felt bad for his wife, I really did. And his poor 5 kids. He KNEW what he was doing all along. He knew.

Shortly after he asked me to be friends with him. I told him I was seeing someone else and basically to piss off.

Do I regret this? No. It taught me a very valuable lesson, as each relationship usually does.




I wrote this blog because I listened to this recording on Earfl and well, I liked it because it shows that there are women out there that are NOT perfect and that HAVE made mistakes, just like I have and did and might continue to do, as I myself, am NOT perfect.

I am in another relationship right now. He is NOT married but does have a woman back in Mexico, I didn't have to find out the HARD way though. He came clean about it which makes me think more of him. Am I regretting continuing on with him? Not one bit. Whatever comes of this relationship, good or bad, will be another lesson. I'm not thinking any long term plans with him because I discovered that THAT is how I get more hurt; if I have thoughts of marrying the person, having kids, etc. The big whole "white picket fence" deal is what gets you into trouble lol, or at least me! :)

I encourage you to check out this recording and more at www.earfl.com! It's a great site! :)

Un-Freakin Believable!

So before I found out the whole truth about Cele, I consulted a psychic, a very good one that I know through my Work At Home forum but never got around to consulting in.

Wow! She REALLY is good. Here was my question to her and then below is her answer:






Q:

Good evening *****,

I found your email address from www.*****************.com, as I am megita85 on there. I love it there lol! I feel SO blessed to have found that site too! Anyways, I read your blog regarding "One Free Question" and I was wondering if you were still doing that?

I have this question that I keep wracking my brain with and I am SO stressed. I need help because this is basically all I think about and how can I find the answer. :0/

Anyways, if you are still doing the One Free Question, my question is: (if you are not doing the One Free Question, I apologize ahead of time and thank you anyways!) :)

"I met this man, he is 12 years older than me and at first he lied to me about his age, but 6 months after we met he finally came clean, as I told him I was not giving up. Subconsciously I just knew he was older, just by the way he treated me and acted. Anyways, he says that the only reason why he lied to me because I am 23, and says that he is NOT lying about anything else (like having a wife back in Mexico or even kids).

My question is, is this true? He's not bad looking, is a sweet guy and is a good catch, but I can't help this feeling, maybe a gut feeling, that he DOES have a woman back in Mexico or kids or both. This just seems too good to be true."

Talk about drama huh?

Thank you for your help that you can give me.

Megan *******




And here was her answer! Talk about whoa! (Now keep in mind this message to her was written on 7/22 and her response came today, 7/27 and I found out the rest of the truth from Cele on 7/26, just yesterday! Weird, eh?




A:

Hello Megan,

I hope all is well over your way. Thank you for contacting me! The forum seemed to be like a good site but I cannot even access it or post on the boards! I think its because of the characters in my screenname. I have been so busy that I have not even tried again. Hopefully I can later in the week. I'll be happy to address your concern for you. Yes I am still doing one free question. Thanks again.

I feel that there is so much going on with you honey. Not just in the romance department but in other areas of your life. Anyone can automatically assume that you are working from home lol but I feel that you are also trying to further educate yourself and better yourself in a lot of ways. I feel that you will be coming up to a time where you will be able to get this in motion after waiting for so long, so I commend you for that.

As far as the male you are asking about. Let's first make sure that I am connecting to the right person. I feel that he is not bad looking at all like you stated. With a beautiful smile! And I don't know why but when I try to pull a name on him, I keep seeing Celestial Stars LOL ... I don't know what that is all about. Maybe he likes looking at stars??? I hope this is him. In any case, I do feel that there is another woman who has his heart set on him back in Mexico. However, this is not a marriage situation. He is not legally bonded to anyone at this time. He acts too nervous when it comes to things so I know you can sense it. Just know that your relationship or ties to him are not going to be short-lived. You two have a lot more to experience together.

If you would like a full more detailed reading if you feel that you and I have connected, please let me know as I will be online for the rest of the evening. . . . . . . . .[her payment information, etc.] . . . . . . . . . .

Hope to talk soon -- With Hugs & Love From *****!



UNBELIEVABLE! She REALLY knows! When I get some more money, depending on if my budget lets me...well, I'm going to contact her again and see what more info she's got for me! IF ANYONE wants her information I'll give it to you, she's good, really good. And hey, why not? ONE FREE READING! Just let me know . . . It was my first psychic reading and I'm convinced and 'hooked' LOL :D

Anyways, I highlighted some things above in her answer and below I went into a little more depth. (I'm sure you're wondering what is true, right?)


1. "Trying to further educate yourself and better yourself"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True! She hit that head on! I am trying to further educate myself and will be studying at TESC in September! I also am trying to better myself (get rid of my debt, get my license FINALLY and get a car, etc.)

2. "Beautiful smile!"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True again! Cele does have a beautiful smile.

3. "Celestial Stars"

TRUE OR FALSE?

Wow! True again and amazing! You see how she capitalized the C and S? THOSE are HIS initials! And his name is Celestino, gotta say it just to show you how ACCURATE and scary and odd this reading was! Celestial of ALL words? Weird huh? Plus, Cele's name is NOT that common. :)

4. "Another woman"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True again! I didn't even KNOW this was true until yesterday when Cele came clean with everything. Weird.

5. "Not a marriage situation"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True, OMG again! Cele told me that he was not married and that's when he did that kiss thing with his fingers (I believe what you say Jenn;o), I do believe he is telling the truth that he is NOT married!)

6. "Not legally binded"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True! Cele told me "I'm not married like how you are with papers from Honduras."

7. "Acts too nervous"

TRUE OR FALSE?

True again! He did act nervous before he came clean with me. I don't have any gut feelings anymore though, I feel relieved. Even if I TRIED to have a gut feeling it just is NOT happening. Cele sounds SO much better too and I believe that he is being genuine about it. He told me to ask my parents to forgive him and I told him we do and he said "Thank you so much. I am still so very sorry." :)

8. "Not going to be short lived" and "Have a lot more to experience together"

TRUE OR FALSE?

Not sure yet! Hoping to be true! We shall see!




This was an exciting thing to read, I'll tell ya! I can believe still how dead on she was. I will post again when and if I can do a more in depth reading with her!


P.S. I forgot to mention regarding the last "Cele coming clean" post: I FINALLY saw his I.D.! Ha! Funny how things happen...I'm still saying "WOW" also, just like all my previous comments!

I was right! Cele came clean FINALLY!

Well, Cele and I spent the whole day together yesterday and he finally came clean about TWO MAJOR THINGS. I could be a LOT worse than I had thought but I still am not thinking about anything long term with him just to prevent heartbreak in case it happens. I am not going to go into detail with EVERYTHING that we talked about and ALL the other questions I asked him. I am just going to tell you the TWO MAJOR THINGS that he FINALLY came clean about!

Well. . .

Cele and I were on his bed and were talking and I told him that it was OBVIOUS that he was hiding something else. I said I just know it, I can feel it. I told him that when I was pushing him to tell me about his TRUE age, he would laugh and change the subject. And I told him "Cele, you are doing the SAME thing in regards to me talking with your mom. It's obvious there is some reason why you don't want me talking with her. So TELL ME. Please! I'm going CRAZY here!"

I kept telling him to tell me and then I said "Listen. It's going to be the same thing just like with me seeing your I.D. I'm NOT going to stop asking you."

Finally, he goes "Okay, I'll tell you. You are going to be VERY mad and hurt."

We are laying side by side and I just felt my heart do something in my chest.

He grabbed me gently and pulled me close and told me "Come here."

I said "OMG! I'm really worried. I have NO idea what you are going to tell me."

He tells me "I'm NOT married. . . but. . ."

I started tearing up and so did he.

"But what?" I asked. I already KNEW the answer. I had all along.

He goes with tears starting to come down his face "I do have a woman in Mexico, BUT we are not together and she doesn't love me like you do. I want to be with you. I'm NOT happy with her, never have been for a long time. She is very cold towards me, hardly talks to me or my parents. Forgive me, Megan. Forgive me."

OMG. Tears start coming down my face so quickly and Cele grabs me and holds me and keeps saying "Forgive me" over and over again while crying right along with me and over and over as well he kept say "The only reason why I didn't tell you is because I didn't want to lose you. I'm SO sorry that I hurt you and your parents too. I'm so sorry that I lied."

I then ask him "Children?"

He goes "Yes, three."

OMG. (again)

I ask what there names and ages are. He tells me.

I ask what her name is. He tells me.

I ask how long they've been together. He tells me.

I ask many more questions and he tells me the answers to those too.

Then he tells me that the reason he is building a house is for his sons when they get older. He is NOT building the house for him and his woman. He calls her "La Señora" or in English, "The Mrs."

But he swears to God and did this weird kissing thing where he put his fingers to his lips and then up above, saying that he is NOT married. I asked him why after all this time with her didn't they get married. She doesn't have a birth certificate so they couldn't.

He doesn't want to be with her and they are only "together" for the kids. Him and her are not "together" for each other.

I felt a BIG relief and finally knew why I had to suffer a bit with the old man José. It was a lesson and I had to learn from it and learn to read the signs when someone is hiding something. Man! I am SO proud of myself because I really paid extra close attention in this relationship and did NOT let up. I listened to my gut feeling and boy! I was RIGHT.

I told Cele that it was SO obvious. With the large amount of calls to Mexico (he hardly ever talks to the woman, just regarding the kids, and he talks to his kids and parents a lot), him asking me twice "You like kids, right?", him sending money every 15 days (turns out it IS for his kids and for the land he's paying on), and with him changing the subject of me talking to his mom (his parents don't know about me yet, but he told me that they want him to be happy and know that he is not happy with this other woman). These were ALL obvious signs. But he's come clean! And I told him it was better of him to come clean with me (whether it's 2 months, 3 or 6 or 9) than for me to find something out another way.

Just a note for anyone who just starts dating a Mexican: "If Mexican is lying about ANYTHING, you will find out in 6 to 9 months."

My good friend who is Mexican told me this and he is right. He knows because he is a Mexican himself and he has told me all the secrets to how Mexicans work. And boy, is he RIGHT! Just unbelievable.

The only thing Cele kept telling me is that I am very smart. I said "Cele, us gringos are. All the signs were there, anyways." Then we laughed and then my mom called me and I told her all about it. She's not shocked nor mad at him either. Neither of us are and he's still welcome in our home. When my parents picked me up this morning, Cele was about to leave at 4 something and waiting for his ride, my mom said "I haven't seen Cele so happy. He looks like he has 'relief' all over his face. He looks the happiest I've ever seen him since we know everything."

OMG. It's so true. I asked him and he says he feels so much better. He's not a liar, he told me. He doesn't like to lie because it hurts people and even though he feels so much better, he feels VERY bad that he lied to me and my parents and hurt us. Then he told me again that the only reason why he lied was that he was scared he was going to lose me.

Like I told him: It was obvious. The signs were all there. AND FINALLY I know the truth. I feel so relieved too.


Cele and I are still together. He's asked me to forgive him. I didn't answer and then he goes "I understand that it will be hard for you to trust me now, since I've lied so much. You are probably thinking bad of me, that I'm a liar. And I understand that it will be hard to forgive me, but I just ask that you do, and if you can't now, then please someday."

I didn't answer him on whether I forgive him or not. But I did keep asking him questions late on until the night (I stayed until the next morning, a little after 4 am I went home...but for a different reason which will be in a blog post later).

We shall see what happens. We shall see.

AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME: "Well, if he lied about these things you know he's lying about something else." OR "This relationship started out as a lie so it will probably end in a lie."

I really don't want to hear it. It takes GUTS to lie about anything especially in a relationship, BUT it takes even MORE GUTS to come clean and not by coming clean when you are caught another way.


On another note! The work at home job is going good and I found out I'll be hitting the books (starting college) lol, in September! :D

Something Else IS Going On

Cele and I talked for a LONG time last night. He cried and I cried a little bit.

I asked him flat out that I know it's obvious he's going to go back to México again, I mean it's his country. I totally understand that and support that. BUT I asked him what's going to happen with us? I asked him if he is just passing the time with me until he goes back to México OR if what we've got is something serious?

You wanna know what the cabrón told me?!?!

"Necesitamos conocernos más, Megan."

Now if my translation is correct, that means: "We need to get to know each other more, Megan." Right?

I was shocked and actually thought MAYBE he would say OF COURSE this is something serious! I mean AFTER ALL he's brought up marriage (not right away, in a couple of years), having kids...our exact convo about THAT:

Me: "Cotton (my cat), our son is here on my bed. He says 'Hello' jaja"

Him: That's nice. But I need to make a real son with you, not just have a cat.

I asked him the next day about this convo and asked him if he was serious, he said 'Yes'.

SO NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN WE NEED TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE?!?!

*shocked look!*

Well, I think we know each other PRETTY WELL already if you don't know what I'm talking about. No more of that. I honestly thought that we were something serious. He talks about marriage, having children and living together!

Like my good amigo Johnnie says "Megan, those are just words. Some Mexicans will say anything b/c they know you are easy -- not in a physical way, but 'easy prey' to get you to go along with each and every word they say to you. It's the actions that count, words are just words. You need to play the game that he's playing."

I'm not one for games, because I've been played before and let me tell you, it hurts.

I'm just wondering if I'm being played ONCE AGAIN.

So from this day on, I'm not even THINKING about anything long term with Cele. He's just going to be someone that I care about and spend a day or two out of the week with. That's it. I am concentrating on saving up money and getting my license, fixing my credit and getting a car.

Did I tell you I am starting college in September? How exciting! And my first day of work went quite well last night. I like it so far . . .

Cele's a nice guy, but right now, I cannot afford to get my heart broken again. So I am going to TRY and not get TOO attached.


Then I'm thinking MAYBE he is just scared? It IS a possibility. He kept saying "What if the Catracho doesn't want to divorce you?" and "Are you SURE that you are going to be getting a divorce?" and "Are you SURE that he will be willing to give YOU a divorce?"

Just stuff like that.

By reading what I just wrote I can kind of see that he COULD be scared and that's why he has to get to know me more. I have to get to know him more too! So far so good though as far as me being happy when I'm with him and happy the way he treats me.

I just don't like that when I asked him (just to see) if I go go with him when he goes to Mexico. You wanna know what he said to THAT?!

"I'm going to come back, Megan. I've got many things that I have to take care of over there. But I'm going to come back."

Then he said . . .

"I'm going to come back and forth. I'm going to get a visa, but first I need to save money for one."

Wow. A VISA?! How can he do that? He told me he could and he sounded quite sure of it.

THEN he asked me . . .

"How long were you single for before meeting me? Like a year right?"

Basically he was asking that I wait a YEAR for him! OMG. I don't think so. I told him the most that I'd wait would be 2 months. I told him that in the beginning of the relationship he told me that he would go back to México and when he gets to his home, he'd call me and then I'd make plans to fly there and visit him. I told him this and he goes . . .

"I told you that?"

OH MY FREAKIN' LORD! I'm starting to think that this relationship or WHATEVER it is, is NOT going to work. He told me his 2nd to last girlfriend and him didn't have the same thoughts and that's why they broke up.

His last girlfriend, he wanted to be with her forever and marry her, but she cheated on him and maybe married that guy.

I'm seeing a pattern. Maybe Cele really is NOT married because maybe he is REALLY hard to live with and hard to understand.

I love him, I'm crazy about him and I really care about him. But if he can't answer a straight question to "Is he just passing time with me or is what he have something serious?" then HOW IN THE WORLD can I be serious?

He cried on the phone today when he got home from work. I asked him why he was crying and he goes "Because you didn't call me at lunch."

(Ya see, I usually call him up right as I know he's in the cafeteria to say "enjoy your meal")

Maybe he really DOES care? But for him to have a hard time giving me a straight answer, I'm sorry, but whether he's scared or not, it's kind of pushing me away because I don't want to think of this as something SERIOUS when in reality it's not.

Ah, and I forgot this also. He also told me something like "You are hearing things that I say that aren't really what they are." I think his Spanish was something like this ". . . las cosas que no son." I don't remember all the words before that, only a few more, but heck, I don't remember.

I am DEFINITELY writing up a cell phone contract NOW!

First Day of Work!

So I just finished my training yesterday with my boss, and I am SOOO nervous because I start my job today! OMG. :0 (that's supposed to be a shocked face lol)

So they had me on the schedule from 3-9, but I just checked it again and it says 4-9. Hey, that's okay. More time to get nervous right? Ha ha ha. :) Wish me luck!





Onto other things, like Cele:

I think we're growing apart or something else is going on. I don't know yet, but it's either me that has changed my attitude towards him, or him towards me, or both! *shrugs*

This sucks. :( We were fine on Saturday. We spent the WHOLE day together. I don't know. Maybe it's me. I've got mi amigo telling me that Celestino's got a wife back in Mexico and probably 2-3 kids, because ALL Mexicans do (and no, he doesn't like me like that, he's getting married soon lol!) but I can't agree with THAT statement because I know people who have had luck and had no baggage with their Mexican men...

Then I've got others (and I mean this in a good way lol!) saying to me: You've gotta talk to his mom.

Well I asked Cele for the number and he told me that there is NO direct phone to call (he doesn't talk to her directly), it's a caseta that he calls. Looked that up and it turns out it is like a phone booth. He went on to tell me that when he calls the caseta, he tells someone to go get his mom, then they hang up. The person gets his mom and Cele calls back and talks to her. He also told me it gets disconnected a lot.

He then tells me that IF his mom had a direct phone line, he'd give me the number. But unfortunately it doesn't. He goes on to tell me that "Hablamos con mi mamá un día". We will talk with her one day? WELL WHEN??????

I know, I know. I'm a woman of determination and I get impatient, ESPECIALLY when it comes to THESE things. Things that I could POSSIBLY find out that could break my heart



And ya know how we are on the same phone plan now right? He pays his 1/2 and I pay mine?

Wellll...he tells me that he will have the money on Saturday, the bill is due today...I'm NOT complaining about THAT though b/c I don't even have MY share for the bill. He tells me that he doesn't have enough money because he just bought land. I said "Where?", "In Mexico" he goes. OMG. He tells me he just started paying on this land.

I know he is going to be building a house soon after the land is all paid off. So I ask him "Will you build a house for your parents, or just you or...?" He tells me "I don't know, Megan." then he goes on to say how I have changed.

My mom was thinking that maybe this house building was for me and him but he says he doesn't know b/c I've changed. Hmm. It's a thought, BUT a TOO-good-to-be-true thought. :/ I wish it were that. I wouldn't mind moving there...if all was good and I was prepared! :D

And I just called him up to say "Enjoy your meal" and he acted kinda nervous or something and then the phone "disconnected" and he hasn't called back. NO WAY am I calling him back. I just wonder if he might be seeing someone else?

I HATE to throw those accusations out there, but I STILL don't know this guy. He could be even MORE slicker than that jerk José. José REALLY knew how to play the game and Cele might too, who knows?

I think that's what I am terrified of. I just want to have LUCK this time. Him and I connect really well and we have the same beliefs, values, morals...everything just about. <3

Maybe it's all in my head and I'm just TRYING to find something wrong with this relationship, maybe preparing myself for the worst b/c I have had bad luck with many Mexicans (Latinos, etc.) already?

Yep, it's all in my head.

Yep, it's all in my head. He just called back. He said that the signal wasn't very good in the cafeteria. OMG, I SO remember those days when I worked there. He told me he finished up his lunch and is now walking back to the golf course.

He asked me if I thought he hung up on me. I said "Yes, I did." and he goes on to tell me about the signal thing (what I wrote above) and told me that he's sorry. *gushes* I love it when he speaks English lol. I tell him it's NOT his fault since I remember the signal thing when I worked there.

He also asked me "Do you miss me like I miss you?"

I told him "Cele, you don't even KNOW how much I miss you!"

He goes "If it's the same as I miss you, then yes, I do."

Then we go on to talking and I tell him that I want to get a car so we can see each other more. We then say that this is SO difficult. And it really is. Just seeing each other once or twice a week really sucks. I really miss him :(

He wishes me luck on my work today and then tells me he'll call me later. The BEST part about this relationship though is when he says he'll call me or he'll see me, HE DOES IT. No ifs, ands or buts about it. HE DOES IT. Even though I haven't talked to his mom (yet) I have faith that I will.

I mean I got his age out of him right? JUST THINK: If I had pushed him for his age months and months ago, I would have already known! But then my readers wouldn't have had a good novela lol! :D

Well I am going to go eat breakfast and shower and then watch some T.V. I AM SO NERVOUS!!! about working today.

But then I think "Megan, 12 hours from now you will be done with work and sleeping, ready to start tomorrow all over again."

:)

Confessions, Secrets, Addictions

Awesome site!  Everyone should check it out! 

Here are five videos just to get your attention!

The Other Woman:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3267

Forgot To Tell My Dad:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3601

Confessions Of A Middle Aged Librarian:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3006

Confessions Of A Cheater:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3048

I Failed Out Of College:

http://www.earfl.com/listen/3063

This site is awesome!  I love it!  You guys have to check it out! :)

www.earfl.com

Los Tigres del Norte!

Noche De Estrellas

It's on at 8pm, in a few minutes on Univision! I'm really excited because me and Cele are going to watch it together...unfortunately por telefono but hey, it's better than nothing!

Well, SO much for "watching it together" lol. Couldn't get a hold of him. Oh well, asi es.

It wasn't that interesting or good as I thought it would be. Los Tigres sang a couple of songs, played a game show and this comedian tried to get Los Tigres to laugh. Only one did, casi.

So much for that. Now I remember why I don't watch Univsion anymore like I used to. El Fuego en La Sangre DOES look good though and so I might start watching that to brush up more on my Spanish.

His Mysterious Ways

So I am sitting here and I couldn't really sleep this morning, got up around 5:30.

I think I could be stressed because I haven't started work yet and well, money is tight. Isn't it always though with everyone? Except the people that are rich.

Ever since I had quit my job at the Westin though, I must tell you, I have been blessed with some kind of money in some form or another. I will not tell you that it is just based on luck, because I truly believe that God has used his mysterious ways to help me during this hard time.

I read once in my Sylvia Browne book, a quote that went something like this:

"If you are not happy and do not like your job, quit it. Don't worry about financial problems because God will help you and provide for you."


And you know what? She is right! God has been there for me and has provided money for me through many ways, whether it be through the help of my parents, a friend, an odd job around the neighborhood, or simply as a technology situation at my bank.

Let me tell you: Last Christmas I didn't work that many hours so I only really had enough money to pay for my terribly large amount of a cell bill and maybe buy two Christmas cards.

Well I remember that I called my bank and told them that I wasn't going to have the money in my account to be taken out for my credit card payment. (I did have the money it is just I wanted my parents to have a nice Christmas). My bank told me that hopefully I could have someone put the money in there for me because regardless the system is automated and it would be taken out on the date it always is, regardless.

So I left my money in there and prayed and hoped I could still give my parents a nice Christmas. Ugh, I even bought José two things too. Sheesh.

Well after that date the money was supposed to be taken out, I checked my bank account like I always do and guess what?

The payment WAS taken out BUT it was taken out FROM the credit card I am paying on itself! NOT from my checking account!

OMG.

At first I thought "Okay, no biggie they will just correct the mistake and then it will be taken from my checking account" WRONG! Never happened!

And now from that day on and I just knew it was an act from God.

Well let me tell you this one: It has happened again! (doesn't happen each month either, just when God feels I need help from above) :)

I have been worried a lot lately regarding money and if I'd have the $$$ I need to pay for my cell phone bill.

Well I get on my bank account this morning and the SAME thing has happened again.

I just cannot believe it! God really does know when you need help and if I start work this week I will just make enough to pay my bill.

I don't know exactly how religious some of you are, I don't ever go to church, which I know I should start and sometime soon I will. I was reading a devotional Bible every day but that fizzled out quickly and I'd like to start doing it again...

But this is just simply amazing and how incredible :)

Emotions All Over The Place

So these really irritable and moody emotions started yesterday. I read my horoscope and supposedly the planet Pluto is responsible for these moods of mine and they supposedly will last for a couple more days.

Do I believe it? Maybe. My horoscope was dead on about how I am feeling right now though, so who knows? I've always been interested in Astrology but don't rely on my horoscopes all the time.

I don't know WHAT is wrong with me. I've been feeling SO nauseous, dizzy, irritable, depressed and just downright mean. I feel like I hate EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I don't want to be like that!

Why am I feeling this way? I thought maybe it was because I didn't get any sleep that night before picking up my mom to bring her home (update on her is on the way too, promise!).

But that wasn't it.

Then I thought it was because I was hungry.

Nope, not that either.

It is coming up to be that time of the mes, but I don't ever have nausea and I'm never dizzy! OMG. I have all these thoughts of why I could be feeling this way going through my head.

Cele called me and told me that he doesn't feel good either, his stomach hurts.

Hmm.

I don't feel like writing anymore, think I will go eat something b/c I am feeling very nauseous. I'll update soon with my mom and other things.

Final Thoughts

. . . Well, at least I think they are lol.

I have done a LOT of thinking since I've found out that Cele is really 35. Since it has only been a week or maybe less since I found out the truth (honestly though, I already KNEW he was older) well, I have read all my comments that I have received on the topic and I've come to the conclusion and really liked one comment that I received: (don't worry, I like EVERYONE'S opinions/comments, just this one comment is true, just like all the others too, but this one I couldn't have said it better than myself!) :)


". . . most likely he is scared to tell you as many hispanics are in shaky footing with relationships at best and im sure he is scared. bottom line, he needs to be honest, and you need to realize that no matter what happened there, he is here now and move forward. if you catch him in any future lies, then that would be a different matter. like the commercial says WHAT HAPPENS IN MEXICO, STAYS IN MEXICO. no matter how much you babysit a person , all you can do in the end is trust till you have a concrete reason not to trust anymore. if he treats you good, and you are happy, go with it slowly."


I am going to think realistic. Most likely he does have a wife (or was married) and has kids. He's been on this earth for 35 years. That's a LONG time! And I DO believe that he is afraid to tell me. I was afraid to tell him that I was married. Luckily, he understood my situation but DID tell me that it isn't normal in his culture for a woman or man to be married (or even have a girlfriend/boyfriend) and be with someone else. He told me that each family does believe in different things, just like here, but in his family having a wife or husband and then another girl or guy on the side is just wrong.

I told him just like here in the states, everyone does their own thing, has their own beliefs. I told him I don't believe in cheating, and even though I am legally married on paper being with Cele or another man is definitely still infidelity. And I still feel bad about it, but at least the Catracho knows and I'm not like leading him on right?

This post will be quite shorter than the rest of 'em lately.

For now, since I am happy with Cele and I am being treated better than ever before than I have in my past, I'm just going to go day by day and continue on being his novia. Call me crazy or tell me I have no self-respect, but I do have self-respect and I am NOT crazy.

It has been a LONG time since I've been happy like this and I've never felt number one in someone's life (meaning a guy's life lol!) and so I'm hanging onto it.

What happened in Mexico, happened. He came clean about his age and swears up and down with straight answers that he's got no woman over there (no wife or girlfriend) and no kids. I asked him questions last night though about his past girlfriends, etc. and he had NO problem giving me answers. Didn't cry either, probably because I didn't sound mean or accusatory.

For now I'm believing him but I'm still watching and listening for signs. I won't be totally naive lol.

I'm just trusting him for now until I have concrete evidence that he IS telling the truth or that he is NOT telling me the truth. Regardless, I am going to be very careful and not get my hopes up.

Life is too short to not be happy; and with Cele, I'm happy. I enjoy spending time with him and talking with him. He treats me good and respects me (besides the lying about the age part). We have a lot of fun together and I feel like we "get each other" or understand each other.

I am not really thinking in "forever" at the moment since #1 I still need to get my divorce out of the way and #2 I just don't know if I will get married anytime soon again.

For now I'm living in the moment and living life, what is, is and what will be, will be. :)

Hmm . . . That Is All That I Can Say For Now

Okay, so for anyone that is wondering, the update with my mom will come soon. I took some pics but haven't put them in my computer . . . yet. She is feeling a tiny bit better though but is still in pain.

Okay onto Cele: OMG. Where do I start? I think he has mental problems or is slow or something. I don't want that to come across as "mean" or what have you, but he just seems to have a LOT of problems and how come I always find the ones that have problems lol? Am I supposed to "save" them or something? Whatever.

So last night I talked with my Mexican amigo who told me that basically I am easy when it comes to Mexicans. Not easy in a sexual way, but in a way that I fall for these guys too quick. And he is right, well kind of. I am fallen for too.

Anyways, getting off topic. So mi amigo tells me what I need to do and I'll post on that later on in another post, as it is not really regarding this post.

So Cele and I talk last night and he is sober mind you when we talk. I had just gotten off the phone with mi amigo, so I guess I was a little wound up and felt like I was "on a role". I hate it when I get that way because I usually end up hurting people with my words that I don't want to hurt.

Cele tells me that he doesn't want to lose me. I tell him: "Cele, you aren't going to lose me. But I will tell you this and this is the last time that I am bringing it up to you: Now keep in mind Cele that this is just for example: IF you have ANYTHING more to tell me, no matter what it may be, tell me NOW because IF I find out that you have lied to me about ANYTHING else, you will lose me."

He starts crying and tells me "Megan, I don't understand why you can't trust me. I love you very much but -- maybe we shouldn't continue this relationship if you can't trust me."

I tell him "Cele. I was just saying for example, please don't cry."

He continues crying and says "Megan, I already told you why I lied about my age. It was very hard for me to tell you b/c I really thought that I was going to lose you. When you say things like I am still lying to you it makes me feel bad. I get really hurt because I only lied to you about one thing, my age, and you already know why. I do understand why you feel this way and you have every right to, but it still hurts me knowing that you don't trust me."

Now I start to cry. So now we are both crying like babies lol. He tells me "Don't cry. It hurts me to hear in your voice that you are sad and crying."

We eventually both stop crying, say "love you" and "forgive me" and then we hang up, he says he will call me later.

He calls me maybe an hour later and I immediately know that he has been drinking and I'm a bit pissed because we did have any agreement, and basically he broke it. I keep quiet until he tells me that he has been drinking.

And he does. A few minutes into the convo he goes "Megan? If I tell you something will you get mad?" I say "No, tell me." I already knew what he was going to tell me. Funny, how it hasn't been 6 MONTHS yet and we already basically know how we are.

He goes "I've had a few beers." I tell him "Cele, I already knew that you had been drinking, but not just a few beers, more than that." He tells me 6. OMG! This hombre is nuts!

We talk some more and he starts crying again and saying things like "Megan, I am not going to leave you, so don't worry." I tell him I'm not going to leave him either and not to worry.

Then there is more talking, most of what I can't remember.

OH HANG ON, I forgot a part! We were talking (when he was sober, mind you) about children. He goes can I ask you a question? Sure, why not?

I will tell my readers this: This is the weirdest question that I have EVER heard especially coming from a 35-year-old and you would THINK he would know the answer! I mean no he doesn't have the best memory and has even told me that, and it's true, he doesn't. But not to know the answer to this? OMG.

His question? You ready for this?

"Megan, how does a woman get pregnant?" Now before everyone says this is a red flag or whatever let me tell you that we were talking about a woman's health, my health and pregnancy. He just didn't ask me out of the blue, there were topics that we talked about that lead into this question :) and I had NOT mentioned ANYTHING about lying to me about him having children, a wife or girl back in Mexico either, this was before I said "You are not going to lose me unless you have lied . . ."


Okay, I am literally stunned and shocked at what I am hearing. He is THIRTY FIVE YEARS OLD and doesn't have the slightest bit idea of how a woman gets pregnant?! OMG.

So I tell him and I mention the word "Ovulation" and he goes "Uh, what is that?" He goes "You probably think I'm stupid but I'm not a woman and I don't remember what I learned in school"

So I explain to him as much as I know of the process of how a woman conceives. Throughout the convo he goes "Mmhm, that sounds familiar now that I've heard the word. I think I remember hearing it in school now that you mention it."

I am still shocked at this.

Which brings me to my next question: Is it possible for a 35-year-old guy, especially from Mexico where usually the men marry SO young, is it possible for him not to have any kids?

I am starting to think it is. He is SUCH a "cry a$" as my step dad calls him that I think the woman that he was with for almost 2 years left his a$ to marry someone else because he is so "sentimental" as he calls it.

AND OMG HE IS. Now I have NO problem if a guy cries or is sensitive, it's just the stuff he has been telling me. Not knowing how a woman gets pregnant? Come on.

Do I believe that? Not sure, yet. He acted quite interested as I told him how a woman conceived and kept apologizing that he didn't know too much. OMG! Did I mention when he was over at my house and I was peeling potatoes he watched me and asked me "Wow! What is that?" (referring to the potato peeler in my hand) I said "It's a potato peeler." He was mesmorized and it wasn't fake either, I thought he was joking. He asked me questions like "How much does it cost in stores?" and "Where could I buy it do you think?" I never thought to let him try it out, but I think I was just STUNNED that a 35-year-old didn't know what a potato peeler was.

Maybe he came from a poor home and I mean hey, he is much older. I guess I just thought he would have more experience. He didn't graduate either. Dropped out in 8th grade to help his family earn money.

Anyways, I bited the bullet and asked on Yahoo! Answers last night:

"For those with experience or even knowledge, what are signs that a man is married back in Mexico? I am dating this guy and he says he is single, has no kids and is 35. I just don't know if this is even POSSIBLE.

Anyone know anything on this topic or maybe know any man who is 35 and is not married with no kids?

Thanks and PLEASE no racist or immigration-related comments! Thank you in advance! :)"

I received many answers that were not just what I wanted to hear, but really opened up my eyes. The ones that opened up my eyes are in yellow. :)

Answer #1: " my uncle actually two of my uncles are in there forties with no kids and never been married its sooo possible"

Answer #2: "Believe it, he's single!! He hasn't been looking or just doesn't know where to meet anybody. And probably doesn't have the time. And if you believe in a higher power maybe it was just time that he met someone that just clicked with him."

Answer #3: "It is very possible for a man to be 35 and not married or have kids. Nothing wrong with it. He just has not found or wanted the right woman."

Answer #4: "I have some Mexican in me (and very proud of it, BTW) so I can't make racist comments. I think you should really try to get to know this guy first. Go back to his hometown in Mexico and visit his family. It is very possible that a 35-year-old guy is not married and has no children, why not? Maybe he just chose not to be in a committed relationship before he met you. If he has a wife back home, just mentioning the idea of visiting his hometown will -surely- make him nervous. Watch his reaction and to also ask him questions about his life, what he's done so far, what his family does and where they live, etc."

Answer #5: "meh, give him time.. he will get comfortable and show his true colors and it will become obvious why he was never married."

Answer #6: "Of course its possible. Not everyone gets married.

Answer #7: "Ya, some people just haven't found who they want to marry yet. He could be telling the truth, it depends how believeable he is and if he is a good liar"


Honestly? I don't know what is going to happen between me and Cele. It is great the way he treats me and I really do care about him. Lo quiero, lo amo. Just taking it day by day and going from there. It could be a mistake but I won't know either way. I am also going to concentrate on building up my credit, getting my license and taking out a loan to get a car. Forget about moving out! I need to get my license and get out on the roads and drive lol!

Then maybe Cele and I can try and have some dates and see how that goes instead of just chilling at my house all the time.


I am going back to sleep. I only got LESS THAN ONE HOUR of sleep last night because Cele was being SO immature. I told him so too. I must have sat on that phone calling out his name and asking if he was there for about a good 20 minutes. No response. So just in case he was listening, I told him: You are being VERY RUDE. This is NOT like you but it is because you are drinking. We had an agreement and you told me that you wouldn't drink anymore unless we were together. You are also being VERY IMMATURE. For a 35-year-old, well I can't believe how you are acting. You need to grow up. I am hanging up this phone because you are NOT saying ANYTHING to me and it's rude. AND I need to get some sleep.

So I hung up. 10 minutes later or less, he called me back three times. The third time I answered it and the guy is IN TEARS!!!! OMG. Not again. So I thought to myself: No wonder he was alone and says he doesn't have anyone else back in Mexico. NO WOMAN IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would put up with this! Needless to say I was PISSED! :o/

He asks me through his tears why did I hang up on him? I didn't want anything to do with him anymore?

I told him that I was sorry but it was rude for him to not answer me and not say anything. I told him I still want to continue this BUT we had an agreement and he broke it and I was pissed.

I told him that I needed to get some sleep and THAT was THAT.

Everything is okay now, but we are going to have A LONG A$ TALK when we see each other IN PERSON again, probably next week because I am DONE taking buses at least I think for now.

Second Thoughts

So yesterday wasn't a surprise. I had just found out that Cele was 35 and of course it was normal to have all these thoughts (just like the pic to your left, thanks to mark sebastian) running through my head:

Okay, so he's 35. That's 12 years apart. Does he have a wife? Is he married? Did he have a wife? Was he married once? He did tell me that the past is the past and what happened, happened. Does he have any kids? Is he really talking with his parents or could it be another woman.

I have to take into consideration what people say about this situation, BUT I can't dwell on it and have stuff in the back of my head anymore. Like my amiga Lisita said: "What is is, you can't change it. If he's got other baggage, he's got it. If he doesn't, then he doesn't." And she is right about that. I can't change the past just like he can't change the past.

Am I going to be naive in this situation? No. I am going to be SO careful that it is not even funny. I have to protect my heart and yes, ONE WAY to do that would to just call things off altogether. But what if I did that and he turned out to just have had a past (just like everyone does) and he was really a decent guy? That would suck.

So like I told him last night: Yes, I'm scared of getting hurt again. Who isn't? But I've got to take a chance. Life is too short to be scared of taking chances. Two main questions that I answered were:

Am I happy with him?

YES!

Does he respect me and treat me right and do I feel loved by him?

OMG, YES!

So that is all there is to it. I told him that "Regret is worse than fear" and if I, or we, don't take a chance on this relationship, then I'll, or we'll, never know what will happen.

If it works out where Cele and I are together forever, awesome. If not, another life lesson will be learned.

There's a decent guy out there for me. I hope Hispanic and preferably a guy from México lol, but no matter what culture he is from, he is out there.

And whether that is Cele or not, no matter what his past is, well time will tell and I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

I will be careful. Most definitely. But no more accusations unless I REALLY think that they are reasonable. I am going to enjoy this relationship while it lasts and like I said, if it lasts forever? The more the merrier.

For now, I've got a sexy Mexican who buys me my very own tortillas. I'ma takin' advantage of that lol!

:)