This song, Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, really describes how I am feeling during this time after reading all the comments from people and hearing the truth from Cele's lips. But more on that later. :)I appreciate all opinions, you all know that, even though I may not agree with some, still, comments are welcome. :)
I was talking with my step father tonight after going to the bank and I said something aloud that just made sense to me. And to me (don't know about others), well it's true. So true.
"If you base your past relationships on your present or future relationships, then you are never going to be able to move forward."
Yup. I said it. And to me it makes sense. Every situation is different. I believe that Cele is genuine regarding his feelings for me. It is just something that others may not understand but since I am the one living this relationship with Cele, I can see how he feels for me. I can feel it, hear it, and see it.
Yes, he lied. I agree that that was disrespectful. Any lying is. But I forgive others. You have to forgive others in life, if you don't, you will live one heck of a miserable life. :/
With that said, I have decided that if I can forgive Cele for the lies he has told, well then I can certainly forgive Daniel (the Catracho) for all the things he has said to me and has done to me. No, I won't forget. But I forgive him.
And I forgive Cele, just haven't said anything to him yet. I will when the time is right. But in my heart I forgive him and I am interested in seeing how things go with me and him. If they go good, awesome. If they go bad, hey, another lesson learned.
Just because I have had bad experiences and just about all my exes have treated me bad and lied to me, DOES NOT mean that just because Cele lied that I'm automatically scratching him off my list. Uh uh. If I did that, I would not know what could be possible out of this relationship.
He treats me good and is still the best boyfriend yet. Yeah, I know some of you might be cringing and saying maybe things like I'm naive, desperate, or [fill in the blank with whatever ya got]. But you don't know. You only know what I've told you, you know? I'm not saying that there is more to this story, but well you know what I mean.
I feel like I'm rambling now lol.
I will leave you with this: In regards to my quote that I wrote up there, well it's true. And you know it.
Think about it. Just because past situations seem the same as a present situation DOES NOT mean that it is. EVERY and I mean EVERY situation is different. If you think that each and every situation is the same, well I'm sorry then you have a closed mind. My mind is open with every situation/relationship and I can tell you right now: Sure, they've got their similarities, what relationship doesn't? BUT they are ALL different. They all began different and they all ended different. All situations in life MAY have similarities BUT they are NEVER the exact same.
A good example would be with my first boyfriend. He never called me and I was the one always calling him. After him, my next boyfriend hardly ever called me either. Basically the same situation. But I pursued the relationship because I just wanted to see where it would go. We got along well. Hardly ever argued and I found out one of the qualities that I truly need in a relationship: Laughter. I can't have a relationship that is all serious and no humor or laughter. No way, just can't do it. I need someone that knows how to be serious when and if the time arises, but overall knows how to be easy-going and fun and playful. :)
An another great example would be my amiga Ojos Verdes: Her and I have an almost similar situation. BUT are they the EXACT same?
Nope. You want to know why?
Re-read this whole blog and you'll find the answer.
:) *sarcastic smile
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love lyrics
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
Ooooh...
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking 'round
Thinking I'm going crazy
Chorus:
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
Oooh, oooh...
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal
Is to keep me from falling
Hey, yeah!
But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe
Chorus:
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
Song lyrics | Bleeding Love lyrics
So let's talk about this song real quick. Basically, it describes me, totally and what I am about to write was written by some people who posted on the song's website, but it is totally true and exactly my thoughts.
It is about how she has been hurt in the past by love and then she stopped trying. She meets this guy and falls fast and totally opens herself up to him. All of her friends thinks she's being crazy because of how fast she's going but her heart has been crippled because she keeps closing it, but this guy cuts it open and she doesn't try to make it stop. She lets it keep bleeding and bleeding because she's in love with him, despite what anyone else says.
Love it love, no matter what people think. Basically, despite the fact that you've been closed off for so long, and no matter how you try to fight the feeling, it's there. And it doesn't seem to end.
Okay, so where are the comments? I know you've got some! :)
It is about how she has been hurt in the past by love and then she stopped trying. She meets this guy and falls fast and totally opens herself up to him. All of her friends thinks she's being crazy because of how fast she's going but her heart has been crippled because she keeps closing it, but this guy cuts it open and she doesn't try to make it stop. She lets it keep bleeding and bleeding because she's in love with him, despite what anyone else says.
Love it love, no matter what people think. Basically, despite the fact that you've been closed off for so long, and no matter how you try to fight the feeling, it's there. And it doesn't seem to end.
Okay, so where are the comments? I know you've got some! :)
4 comments:
I love that song and watched her perform on American Idol a few months ago. The Mexican fell in love with her legs!
Yeah the song kinda shows how she's been dooped before, how she's falling quick for this guy, and all of her friends think she's crazy ... but it doesn't say why they think she's crazy.
We don't know what the other guys did to her either; they could have cheated on her. Maybe this guy is doing it too and her friends have reason to be bad-mouthing him?
Maybe she's been so unlucky with love and wants to feel it soooo badly that she'll take anything now?
This song relates to so many people, that's why it is so popular too.
I agree that EVERY situation is different and not EVERY situation will end up the same; I get what you're saying.I feel the need to explain why I posted negatively about Cele 'coming clean' though.
I'll try! LoL
There are patterns for lots of things. If you look up "Signs of Cheating" on the www you get a lot of similar info on many different sites because it's true; there are a lot of similarities when it comes to men/women cheating. A pattern.
So like when I say negative things about Cele from past experiences of myself or someone else, it's information.
Let's say I suspected my husband was cheating on me and I looked up the signs and noticed a pattern.
Maybe the person who wrote those signs was experienced because it happened to them. They also posted at the end of the article that they believe anyone who cheats is a dog and they divorced their cheating spouse.
I don't have to do that just because they did, maybe my marriage can endure. Who knows?
The point is that it is my decision to end it or not.
Just the way that it's your decision to make on what will happen between you and Cele.
On the flip side, based on experiences, most men who have a woman and kids (I think) will remain with the woman and kids.
That doesn't mean it's gonna happen to you though.
I feel that you are in a better position than most women in this particular circumstance because:
#1. You know there's a woman.
#2. You have lots of opinions from other people that could help you out with your decision.
#3. You are self aware enough to know that you have to see this through to be able to move on, whichever way the cards fall.
You may move forward with Cele or someone else, but you are prepared with lots of information.
And that alone makes me happy because you have lots of support and knowledge.
Remember the other day when I said I wish you could walk out to check the mail and find Mr. Right? He could be Cele! LoL
So I changed my wish for you.
My wish for you is to be happy no matter what happens, and I think that's better than the first wish!
Good luck and you know I'm rooting for you, but don't get a big head cuz you have a fan club! :)
~Lisa
Megita, I think you are correct on many points you posted here. Some people think in very "black and white terms"- in other words- if one thing has happened, that automatically, in their minds, means that another thing WILL happen, or MUST happen, regardless of other circumstances, feelings or situations. Por ejemplo, if a man has lied to you about something major in the relationship. that automatically means he will do it again, that he is a bad person and that the relación debe terminar. PERIOD. And that is of course, their right to feel that way and perhaps it serves them well- I am not judging that attitude, just pointing it out.
On the other hand, some of us are more "grey" thinkers, taking each relationship and set of circumstances for what they are on a case by case basis, which is what it appears you are doing with Celestino.
I do not believe that he lied to you with the intention of being deceitful or trying to hurt you.
I believe he was, like all the rest of them here, lonely and thrilled to pieces that someone nice was giving him the time of day here in this country, making him feel special and important and loved and wanted to do everything he could to protect the lovely thing (you!) he had been so lucky to find. He did not tell you about his age or family in Mexico from the get go, because he assumed that if he had, you would not have been interested in him and would have gone running the other way. He probably had no idea that the relationship would last as long as it has and then as time went on, was really "stuck" being that he had told you another story at the beginning. I do not think that these lies make him a BAD person or a DECEITFUL person. He was dishonest, yes, but he was not trying to pull one over on you in a mean way. There is a lot of stuff out there about the importance and power of FORGIVENESS (Loiuse Hay is one of my very favorite self-help authors- You Can Heal Your Life is a very powerful book- get it and read it!!!!). It is says that you can never feel inner peace or happiness if you do not forgive and that if you go around resentful and angry at someone for wronging you, you are really hurting YOURSELF as much, if not more, than the other party. Another very important aspect of forgiveness is to understand that forgiveness does not mean you are CONDONING or accepting the poor behavior. It means that you are letting it go and moving on with your own journey.
Whew!! That stuff is deep, but helpful I believe and applies to your situation here.
A propósito, just curious....does Cele have ANY idea that you blog about all this stuff? Hopefully he is clueless about it all as I am sure he'd be MORTIFIED if he knew that his personal business, mentiras, love life, coversations, etc. was being read by others on the internet- LOL,
MNM has NO IDEA that I blog about every intimate detail (well, not EVERY intimate detail- ha ha), nor do I ever intend to tell him. Not that they could easily read any of what we write about anyways- LOL AGAIN.
Woohoo! Look at ALL the comments I got about my post, I just KNEW I'd have some! Gracias a todos! I will be addressing each and everyone's comments separately, so please bare with the L--O--N--G comment I'm about to type LOL! :D
Mi Amiga Lisita: Love your MySpace page first of all, awesome layout!
I really like that song too. I agree that it doesn't really go into any detail about how she's been hurt by guys or one specific guy in general.
Yes, I agree. Situations DO have patterns, I'll give ya that one LOL :)
I do agree with what you said also about when a man has kids, most likely he will remain with her. There are certain situations though where it does not happen, for example (and fingers crossed though NOT dwelling on it really) it could happen in THIS situation ;)
He tells me he wants to be with ME and stay with ME, not HER. Time will tell with THAT one. ;)
Yes, I believe that I'm in a SEMI-better position then if I didn't know...at least I know what I'm getting myself into, huh? :)
Yes, I am very happy to have all of this knowledge and support from everyone, so thank you! :)
Yes, Mr. Right COULD be Cele, quien sabe? I'm keeping QUITE the open mind with THIS situation though, and I am being prepared for things to go bad as well as if things are going to go good. Either way I feel prepared and even though IF he DOES choose to stay with HER, well sure I will be hurt, but at least it won't be TOTAL devastation, as I know that this is a possibility. :)
Thanks for changing your wish! I think it's even better too! (especially since on Sundays the wish wouldn't really come true hahaha...)
Thanks for the luck! I know you're rooting for me, and I appreciate that. Don't worry, no big head here! :)
Ojos Verdes: OMG girl, I STILL have yet to comment on your post. I've GOT to get over there tonight or tomorrow. I think I am mostly like a grey thinker.
Gosh, it seems just like yesterday when the Catracho I married would put me down and say to me "Megan, you don't have an open mind. Open your mind, Megan!" He also told me that I always make things too complicated.
He's 1/2 right. But I have tried to change and I am continuing to not think so black and white as I used to. Trying to think grey lol. I still agree though with the making things too complicated lol. :/ I tend to do that still.
OMG what powerful words...Louise Hay has my vote lol, I'll have to get her book or find a library who has it! :) Thanks! It's weird you wrote that though because before I forgave Daniel, I thought that forgiving was basically condoning the behavior, but you're right. It's not!
I agree with you that he was here just like the rest of 'em. (or most of 'em anyways) and he had told me that it hurt him day after day that he lied because he was hurting me, and he didn't like feeling that way. And in a way, I am kind of (KIND OF) thankful that he DID lie to me, because I KNOW I would have said "You're a nice guy but I can't be with you." and I would have never really gotten to know him because of his real age and the baggage he has. But I DO know him, well 6 mos. worth of knowing him, and so far I like what I see. I understand his reason for lying, I didn't want to tell him MY situation RIGHT in the beginning but I did. ONLY because I had experiences with my OWN lies to people before and I realize that it all comes out in the end, whether that's 1 month, day or year from now. It ALWAYS comes out and even though I hadn't known him THAT well in yet in the beginning, I didn't want to hurt him.
I think what REALLY helps is that I had already felt in my gut that he had kids, was older and had some form of a woman over there in MX. It was obvious. All signs were there. Did I want to believe 'em? Nope. But I wanted to think realistically :) So glad I did, it really helps now that I know his situation and he knows mine.
I agree, he wasn't trying to lie to be mean about it. I believe everything that you said, my mom has said the exact thing too. He didn't expect this relationship to go as far as it has and it did and he felt probably even WORSE as time went by and each day that passed, he was basically burying himself in an even deeper hole. He sounds SO much different on the phone now and when I was with him last weekend after him telling me the truth, he acted SO much different. It was amazing how bad he truly felt :(
Ah--Cele has an IDEA that I have a "diario" on here. I sometimes tell him what mis amigas say but assure him that I know these are just opinions...he knows SOME of what I write, but wouldn't be able to read it if he tried lol! I DID tell him algundia when he knows enough English he can read it if he likes. :)
Told ya'll this was gonna be a long comment! :D
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