Friday, July 25, 2008

Something Else IS Going On


Cele and I talked for a LONG time last night. He cried and I cried a little bit.

I asked him flat out that I know it's obvious he's going to go back to México again, I mean it's his country. I totally understand that and support that. BUT I asked him what's going to happen with us? I asked him if he is just passing the time with me until he goes back to México OR if what we've got is something serious?

You wanna know what the cabrón told me?!?!

"Necesitamos conocernos más, Megan."

Now if my translation is correct, that means: "We need to get to know each other more, Megan." Right?

I was shocked and actually thought MAYBE he would say OF COURSE this is something serious! I mean AFTER ALL he's brought up marriage (not right away, in a couple of years), having kids...our exact convo about THAT:

Me: "Cotton (my cat), our son is here on my bed. He says 'Hello' jaja"

Him: That's nice. But I need to make a real son with you, not just have a cat.

I asked him the next day about this convo and asked him if he was serious, he said 'Yes'.

SO NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN WE NEED TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE?!?!

*shocked look!*

Well, I think we know each other PRETTY WELL already if you don't know what I'm talking about. No more of that. I honestly thought that we were something serious. He talks about marriage, having children and living together!

Like my good amigo Johnnie says "Megan, those are just words. Some Mexicans will say anything b/c they know you are easy -- not in a physical way, but 'easy prey' to get you to go along with each and every word they say to you. It's the actions that count, words are just words. You need to play the game that he's playing."

I'm not one for games, because I've been played before and let me tell you, it hurts.

I'm just wondering if I'm being played ONCE AGAIN.

So from this day on, I'm not even THINKING about anything long term with Cele. He's just going to be someone that I care about and spend a day or two out of the week with. That's it. I am concentrating on saving up money and getting my license, fixing my credit and getting a car.

Did I tell you I am starting college in September? How exciting! And my first day of work went quite well last night. I like it so far . . .

Cele's a nice guy, but right now, I cannot afford to get my heart broken again. So I am going to TRY and not get TOO attached.


Then I'm thinking MAYBE he is just scared? It IS a possibility. He kept saying "What if the Catracho doesn't want to divorce you?" and "Are you SURE that you are going to be getting a divorce?" and "Are you SURE that he will be willing to give YOU a divorce?"

Just stuff like that.

By reading what I just wrote I can kind of see that he COULD be scared and that's why he has to get to know me more. I have to get to know him more too! So far so good though as far as me being happy when I'm with him and happy the way he treats me.

I just don't like that when I asked him (just to see) if I go go with him when he goes to Mexico. You wanna know what he said to THAT?!

"I'm going to come back, Megan. I've got many things that I have to take care of over there. But I'm going to come back."

Then he said . . .

"I'm going to come back and forth. I'm going to get a visa, but first I need to save money for one."

Wow. A VISA?! How can he do that? He told me he could and he sounded quite sure of it.

THEN he asked me . . .

"How long were you single for before meeting me? Like a year right?"

Basically he was asking that I wait a YEAR for him! OMG. I don't think so. I told him the most that I'd wait would be 2 months. I told him that in the beginning of the relationship he told me that he would go back to México and when he gets to his home, he'd call me and then I'd make plans to fly there and visit him. I told him this and he goes . . .

"I told you that?"

OH MY FREAKIN' LORD! I'm starting to think that this relationship or WHATEVER it is, is NOT going to work. He told me his 2nd to last girlfriend and him didn't have the same thoughts and that's why they broke up.

His last girlfriend, he wanted to be with her forever and marry her, but she cheated on him and maybe married that guy.

I'm seeing a pattern. Maybe Cele really is NOT married because maybe he is REALLY hard to live with and hard to understand.

I love him, I'm crazy about him and I really care about him. But if he can't answer a straight question to "Is he just passing time with me or is what he have something serious?" then HOW IN THE WORLD can I be serious?

He cried on the phone today when he got home from work. I asked him why he was crying and he goes "Because you didn't call me at lunch."

(Ya see, I usually call him up right as I know he's in the cafeteria to say "enjoy your meal")

Maybe he really DOES care? But for him to have a hard time giving me a straight answer, I'm sorry, but whether he's scared or not, it's kind of pushing me away because I don't want to think of this as something SERIOUS when in reality it's not.

Ah, and I forgot this also. He also told me something like "You are hearing things that I say that aren't really what they are." I think his Spanish was something like this ". . . las cosas que no son." I don't remember all the words before that, only a few more, but heck, I don't remember.

I am DEFINITELY writing up a cell phone contract NOW!


1 comment:

chicadedios25 said...

First of all - Congrats on your new job. How exciting!

Second of all- Stop stressing. Why stress about being serious with someone when you know you still have baggage (the catracho) that has to be taken care of first anyways? You are going to give yourself an ulcer child.

I know this because you sound exactly like me.

I think that Cele is hiding more than just his age. I am not trying to make you stress more...I am just being honest with you.

My experience with Hispanics is that when you find one who won't give you a straight answer it is because they are hiding SOMETHING...whatever that something might be. It could be a different relationship,it could be a wife,it could be a warrant for their arrest,it could be that they have been deported once,etc....but there is generally SOMETHING when they won't give you straight answers.