So yesterday wasn't a surprise. I had just found out that Cele was 35 and of course it was normal to have all these thoughts (just like the pic to your left, thanks to mark sebastian) running through my head:Okay, so he's 35. That's 12 years apart. Does he have a wife? Is he married? Did he have a wife? Was he married once? He did tell me that the past is the past and what happened, happened. Does he have any kids? Is he really talking with his parents or could it be another woman.
I have to take into consideration what people say about this situation, BUT I can't dwell on it and have stuff in the back of my head anymore. Like my amiga Lisita said: "What is is, you can't change it. If he's got other baggage, he's got it. If he doesn't, then he doesn't." And she is right about that. I can't change the past just like he can't change the past.
Am I going to be naive in this situation? No. I am going to be SO careful that it is not even funny. I have to protect my heart and yes, ONE WAY to do that would to just call things off altogether. But what if I did that and he turned out to just have had a past (just like everyone does) and he was really a decent guy? That would suck.
So like I told him last night: Yes, I'm scared of getting hurt again. Who isn't? But I've got to take a chance. Life is too short to be scared of taking chances. Two main questions that I answered were:
Am I happy with him?
YES!
Does he respect me and treat me right and do I feel loved by him?
OMG, YES!
So that is all there is to it. I told him that "Regret is worse than fear" and if I, or we, don't take a chance on this relationship, then I'll, or we'll, never know what will happen.
If it works out where Cele and I are together forever, awesome. If not, another life lesson will be learned.
There's a decent guy out there for me. I hope Hispanic and preferably a guy from México lol, but no matter what culture he is from, he is out there.
And whether that is Cele or not, no matter what his past is, well time will tell and I'm not going to beat myself up about it.
I will be careful. Most definitely. But no more accusations unless I REALLY think that they are reasonable. I am going to enjoy this relationship while it lasts and like I said, if it lasts forever? The more the merrier.For now, I've got a sexy Mexican who buys me my very own tortillas. I'ma takin' advantage of that lol!
:)
1 comment:
Megita, the issue is not whether or not he has "a past" or "baggage"- I mean, who, walking this earth (especially someone that has been on it for 35 years!) does not? The issue is that he has only come clean about a very few details about his personal life and past. Most Mexicans tend to marry and have babies young. So, chances are that he has both of these (esposa or novia and/or bebes) somewhere is, in my opinion pretty good. I think you need to decide in your head (as you did with the age thing) if it matters to you if he has kids and their mamá at home and of course what the relationship IS with mamá (if there is one). Get clear first on how you feel about that. If, for example, he has kids and maintains a relationship as CO- PARENTS ONLY with the mamá (as is the case with MMN) then are you OK with that? if so, there is less of a problem. If he IS married and she is expecting him home and with her one day, then THAT is a big problema, see the difference? If you are OK with kids and no relationship with mamá, tell him that and make it safe for him to tell you the truth as he did with the age. Family he is not telling you about a bigger lie though than the age thing (not that any lies are good). You know I just like to give you food for thought -lol.
And don't be in a big hurry to get married again!! You are so young, and what you think you want now may not be what you want 15 years from now! I was married at 24 and by 32 was not happy - I did not know myself well enough at 24 to make a life long commitment. Lots to think about :)
PS)- One way to tell if he has kids at home- is he sending $ back to Mexico on a regular basis? MNM sends $ via Western Union each week for his hijas, which, of course I'd expect him to do. I'd be concerned if he were not supporting them. So- this may be one clue.
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