I've received MANY opinions over the past couple of days of how to handle this "Shyt or Get Off The Pot" situation with Cele.My heart is torn in both ways.
Here, let me explain to you how I feel . . .
Here's a little bit of background on Cele and this Lucía in México:
He's been with her for 12 years. He has 3 kids with her, ages 12, 9 and 7, names are Luis Miguel, Giovanni, and . . . won't ya believe it I forgot his other son's name. How terrible am I? Well, I am under lots of stress, so I will think of it. So I called him up to ask him (how embarrassing) and he told me and laughed. It's Ivan. Hey, I work with LOTS of different names, so how am I supposed to remember? LOL
Anyways, I'm off topic now. Let's go back to the beginning.
He's been with Lucía for 12 years. Has 3 kids with her. That's a long time to be with someone. He has told me many things about their relationship. Do I believe them? I don't know. His track record is not that good w/ the lying, eh?
So this is what he has told me: She doesn't love him. She doesn't know how to love him the way he wants to be loved. They argue over every little thing even if it has no importance in the relationship. Whenever she talks with him she only asks two questions: Is he still working? And has he drank beer on that specific day? She has never said "I love you", "I miss you", and has never shown him any affection. The day he left to come to the U.S. she wasn't even there. She didn't even say goodbye to him. When he returned she didn't even greet him with a kiss or hug. She didn't even say she missed him.
Again, do I believe all this? Well, not sure really. As I said before, his track record w/ lying has not been the best. But like all situations have their pessimistic sides, some have their optimistic sides as well, and this my Blogger amigos/as could be one of them. :)
So I have been doing a lot of thinking. Trying not to let "love blind me" as they always say that it tends to do. I found myself thinking of letting Cele just continue on with his plan of telling Lucía about me and him when he goes to Mexico. Of course, while thinking those thoughts I was doing the dishes and thinking lovey dovey thoughts of me and him. I had to brush those thoughts away for the time being and concentrate on really, what is best for ME and for him. As MUCH as I really want to just think of me, me, and ME, well I can't be selfish; Cele has had 12 years with this woman and has 3 kids with her. I am really in no place to step up and say "You've got to do this and you can't do it this way." That to me just doesn't seem right.
But then again, I do have to stand my ground with this.
See how I am torn?
#1. Should he call her up and tell her and get it all out in the open?
#2. Or does he go to Mexico (in a year or a bit less) and tell her, his kids, and his parents altogether...his original plan?
I think that there MAY (not sure YET) be a solution to this problem that will help him and help myself get "our own ways" so-to-speak.
Someone actually suggested it on Yahoo! Answers.
Basically they said . . . and let me know what you think please:
"I mention to Cele that we can do it "his way" and that I understand that he's had 12 years with her with 3 kids and that I wouldn't want someone that I've been with for 12 years and had 3 kids with to break up with me on the phone. It is a bit disrespectful. So I think I have a solution, Cele. Let's save up money together so we can get you back to Mexico ASAP to get this done and over with and I will go with you. I will stay in a hotel (and he'd be right there with me of course too) while you do what you have to do/say what you have to say to Lucía, your kids and your parents. Then I would make my presence and meet your parents and kids."
Cele says that he would be staying 2 months. I wouldn't be able to do that and wouldn't want to. I just would like to make my presence known, you know what I mean?
So what do you think? I traveled to Honduras alone and that is MUCH farther than traveling to México. And another thing -- I would make sure to get phogne numbers and addresses of where he is living in Mexico, so I KNOW FOR SURE he's not gonna go to Mexico and then never contact me again. (I'd make sure the #s were legit and real too b/c BEFORE HE WENT back to Mx, I'd have him personally make a phone call enfrente de mi to see if he could communicate w/ someone over there.)
Sooo what do you all think? Maybe I should do a poll for ya'll to take? LOL :D
The Best Decision
You've read this blog post, now give me your opinion! What is the BEST decision for BOTH me and Cele? Put yourselves in my shoes AS WELL AS his!
What's the BEST decision for BOTH me and Cele?
Create your own myspace poll
1 comment:
Ay, Megita, Megita, Megita...I think you are gettin' WAY ahead of yourself with this, especially this grand plan 'o yours to go with him to Mexico and stay in a hotel while he tells her....I think that he should tell her if and ONLY IF the 2 of you are a for sure deal....if the 2 of you are making a commitment to be together FOR SURE (sin mas mentiras) then he should call her and tell her ON THE PHONE IN FRONT OF YOU SO YOU HEAR THE WHOLE plactica, on speaker phone so you for sure know she is really on the other end and he is not just pretending to have the conversation (I would not put this past him).
No, telling someone this info. on the phone is not the best way, but considering the circumstances and that he is HERE and who knows when he will be going back to Mexico (and if he does go back, how hard will it be for him to re-enter the U.S.?) the phone is the only way to go.
In terms of whether or not he is tellin; you la verdad en cuanto a su relación con Lucia....I think in Mexico and in other poor countries, people stay together for the pure and simple reason of ECONOMICS not necesarily happiness. Even if she has no ROMANTIC feelings anymore for him, she relies on him for ECONOMIC support, that is the entire reason he is here in the U.S. Para ganar dinero para mandar a Mexico. He happened to meet you and fell in love, etc. So- bottom line- mis consejos- be sure that the 2 of you are really gonna make this work- that it is for real-and I think u still need some more time to discover if that is the case. Once you decide that, insist that he calls her IN FRONT OF YOU ON SPEAKER to break the news. Do not rely on his word that he will tell her "someday" when he returns....COMPLICADO, yo sé....
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