. . . It is over.
I am really stressing over this. And I know I shouldn't, but I really didn't think that I cared about him this much. I mean, sure I had fallen for him. He's a sweetheart. But he's not MY sweetheart and I can't stand him having basically TWO NOVIAS (gfs)! It is just NOT right! :/
I am SO nauseous and of course I had a scare . . . you know what I'm talking about! :/ Gracias a Dios que no! That would have been quite something though, another stressful thing to add to my plate. Would have been my own fault though.
Hmph. >:/
I am very peeved about this (I'm trying to stop swearing lol. I feel if I swear, I'll just attract negative things into my life) Plus, I don't like swearing. I have been told it makes me look like a mean person, and ya know what? I'm sure it does :/
Anyways, I'm thinking of just telling Cele "Look, I love you so much and I really want to be with you. Yes, I still need a divorce like you told me on the phone today, but basically I still have already proved to you that I want to be with YOU and NOT ese tipo en Honduras...b/c HE KNOWS ABOUT YOU AND ME. It is obvious to me that you are not going to choose me, that you are going to stay with Lucia. It is obvious because IF you wanted to be with me at all, even just a little bit, you would have already told Lucia. So I really don't want to say this, but maybe it is better that we end this now instead of prolonging it any longer. I really do not feel good because of this. It is affecting my health waiting for you to make a decision when it is already obvious what your decision will be."
Whew.
I don't though. There are times I feel good about this and there are times where I just want out. Well, like they say "When the going gets rough, the rough get going"...something along those lines. Maybe I'm that kind of person?
It's only like 14 or 13 more days until he has to decide. Maybe I should just let him have his time to decide. I just want to get this done and over with though. The more we prolong it the worse I could feel, ESPECIALLY IF he ends up picking Lucía. *sigh* Asi es la vida. :/
What do you all think? Leave the ultimatum the way it is or try and feel him out to see if he could choose a BIT SOONER than the 1st?
But selfishly I really want to put ME first. I am suffering bad here. Having diarrhea (lol sorry if tmi, but ya'll are my readers lol and ya'll love me....right???) and I'm also have nausea REALLY REALLY bad. I didn't think this would affect me THAT much.
I must be really crazy over him. I can eat though and I CAN sleep, no it's not like that "can't eat, can't sleep" ordeal. Uh uh, gotta eat and I gotta sleep!
But this is REALLY stressing me out. I don't want to wait until the 1st. I want to know the decision now and if he chooses her, we part ways and I can concentrate on getting ready for college. (I've got school shopping to do! Yay!) :)
BUT IF he chooses me, then he can call her, tell her and I can be there for him, he can cry on my shoulder, etc. and I can STILL get ready for college and do my shopping.
What do you all think? Leave it the way it is and learn to be PATIENT? Or tell him how I am feeling, how this is affecting me and mention us parting ways now?
5 comments:
I think you need to let him know that this asunto is making you PHYSICALLY ILL and that he must take action. You hate to give ultimatums but he needs to make a choice- either he tells her (por teléfono, b/c u sure can't wait until he saves up the $ to go back to Mexico to do it and it does not seem that this man takes quick action, Megita, look at the weeks it took him to come clean on the age, the mujer and the niños) or it is over- terminado-contigo. You cannot continue to live this way. If you are physically sick over it, the time has come. You have a lot of other things to concentrate on, chica :) Is HE feeling physically sick over it? He should be the one sweatin' not YOU.
I am curious.,, do you 2 always speak Spanish or is some of this in English? WIth a second language, it is even harder!! Even though my Spanish is very, very good (if I do say so myself-lol) arguing or having a serious discussion in another language is HARD. It is hard enough to express yourself in your own language when it comes to matters of the heart.....so ,much really is lost in translation. MUY DIFICIL. Jorge and I almost ALWAYS spoke Spanish. His English was OK but the only time we spoke English was when there were other latinos around and he did not want them to understand what we were saying.
At any rate, whether it is en inglés o en español, you have got to demand an end to this MIERDA.
Chica, you are RIGHT! It is time for him to shyt or get off the pot and yeah, I gave him an ultimatum but for me if I REALLY wanted to be with someone and loved them MORE than my current SO (sig. other) heck, it would ALREADY be done and the person I supposedly LOVE would NOT be physically ill over it.
I have to end this madness now before disease comes from it. Ya know what they say...stress brings disease. That REALLY runs in my family. My abuelita was in remission w/ Leukemia and was doing great UNTIL the day my abuelito was basically "kind of" (the Drs weren't sure) possibly diagnosed w/ lung cancer. My abuelita stressed over it and passed away about a few mos. later cuz her leukemia went out of remission and came back full force. It was awful.
I don't need to be getting physically ill over this hombre! You are right: The time HAS come.
Yes, always speak Spanish. It's weird, like whenever I'm not arguing or pissed or expressing my opinion that I feel is important (in Spanish of course) I still have to think of the words to say and translate from what I want to say in English to Spanish. BUT if I am mad, pissed or hurt or want to say something of importance to ME, well that Spanish FLIES off my tongue and comes out quick just like a native speaker. Loca, eh? :)
Yes, it DOES take him a while to decide. I'm NOT waiting any longer. I'm gonna tell him after I get off work (9pm) what I wrote in my blog w/ the quotes and then I will blog about what happened after that.
Thanks for the consejos, I really appreciate them! :D
~Megita :o)
Hey, that is what we are ALL here for, even if it IS just in cyber world. I often think how fun it would be to meet en persona someday, I think la gringa mas bella should plan a "Chicas who love los Latinos" weekend-lol. NO, en serio- it would be so awesome and HILARIOUS I am sure. :)
OV
Megita- You have already made your decision, you just don't want to accept it yet. It is hard to let go. You have so much going for you: you're young, you're getting out of a marriage, you're going back to school. Though you care about him, DO NOT SETTLE! This is someone who has lied to you about his age, his other woman and his three children!
I am resentful toward him for crying when you confront him-- whether he intends it to or not, it manipulates you and makes you too forgiving. You're a good person and I hate to see you taken advantage of. As I said, you have already made your decision... it hurts to let go, but you have too much going for you to continue to put up with someone who is not open and honest with you. I am worried that if you go to him to tell him it's over, he will cry and tell you he's changed. I would not be convinced.
You need to make the BEST decision for MEGAN. Put your feelings for him aside and evaluate the situation: is this someone you can TRULY trust and are you willing to let him get in the way (by having to deal with all of challenges) of fulfilling your other dreams?
Make the best decision for YOU.
I agree with this angel de la guardia. 100% You deserve better than a liar. Don't jump back into the boat you took sail in with Daniel.
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