Sorry to vent again, usually my readers read about me and the Chivito or about my college or about other things, but I don't really have anyone to talk to here at home, unless it's my Chivito but that's hard because I have to think in Spanish lol.
Today started out nice (and it will start out nice again after my shower). I got up and made my step dad (yes the one I previously talked about) a Father's Day card on my computer as well as some eggs.
Everything was going great and I thought after my mom got up it might continue that way. Ah, how I love to be wrong.
Joe loved my card and said he didn't care about getting a gift from me or not. He also enjoyed his eggs.
My mom gets up and after her shower wants me to change it to the Weather Channel. Now mind you, I asked her if she would like eggs too, she said "No" and that she just wanted her waffles.
Sooo I change it to the Weather Channel and at the same time drop a piece of my banana. That puts me in a tiny bad mood b/c I HATE to drop things lol especially in the seat cushions and when it's food. It's just gross LOL!
She immediately says she sensed me in a bad mood. I told her "What? No I'm not."
Then she says she doesn't know if she's going anywhere today b/c of her headache. I immediately tell her I better call the Chivito and tell him then. She goes "Why?" I said because he was going to leave soon.
"Well I wish you would have told me or have waited for me to decide what time," she goes. She had told me yesterday that I'd see him tomorrow and I didn't think things would change so I told him to just get on the bus and call me when he's on the island.
She goes on to say things about how I'm still married and she doesn't agree with this anymore. She told me to get a divorced and then see the Chivito. Well getting a divorce when I got married in Honduras is A LOT OF MONEY and HARD. I'd have to go there and who the heck has the money for THAT?
She tells me: "Well, you had the money to go there in the first place?"
That must REALLY still bother her. That I went to Honduras and got married without any of my family there. Well I AM SORRY. I can apologize till I'm blue in the face. It won't do any good. I CANNOT change the past. I can ONLY go forward. If getting a divorce was EASY (most are not) then I would be divorced right now!
What makes my mom and Joe's situation any different though? Honestly. My mom was with Joe and he wasn't divorced yet. They were separated but not legally divorced. My mom and Joe were together during that time, even moved in together!
So honestly, WHAT THE HECK MAKES MY SITUATION ANY DIFFERENT? I'm NOT leading the Catracho on. I haven't. I came clean with just about everything. We are broken up and have gone our separate ways. He KNOWS I am seeing the Chivito, even knows his name.
Honestly, I could care LESS about the marriage response and what she said about that. What really hurt me is when she said "I bet if I told you you couldn't see the Chivito today you wouldn't have made breakfast for Joe." I was SHOCKED. I made breakfast for Joe because it's Father's Day, something to do to be nice. She goes "You didn't make me breakfast on Mother's Day?" REALLY?!
Joe even backed me up. We both remembered that I DID SO make her breakfast on Mother's Day! :'o(
Well, just wanted to vent. I am in my room once again and really sad. I don't like feeling this way and I can't WAIT until I get SOME SORT of job. I am SO ready to get my own place and get RID of all this negativity. :(
This proves that Sylvia Browne might have a point after all. :/
2 comments:
hi megan,
what do you mean by sylvia browne having a point after all? I don't think I heard about that one.. please don't stay sad!!! you did a wonderful thing by cooking joe eggs, and making him a card, I think it's absolutely wonderful.. you have to some how not let the negativity bother you. I think finding your own place is the best thing to do, not because of your mom or joe, just because you have your own space. I missed crystal like crazy when she moved, and still do of course, but I had to understand that she wanted her own space, at least you can visit every day, I don't get to do that with her living so far away.. your mom love's you so,so very much, and would do anything in the world for you(I alway's thought she spoiled you to much) just kidding....but moving out isn't a bad thing, it's called growing up I guess. and i've learned that being away, teaches us more respect, and teaches us the value of love more. so... no more being sad, think only happy thought's about the future o.k??? and megan, remember your mom isn't feeling well, and alot of times people say things they don't mean.. I know she wouldn't intentionally hurt you for anything in the world..
love ya,deb
Hey Megita! Don't be soooo sad girlfriend. I've been over here and read about the comment your stepdad made, your efforts looking for a job, and the upteen companies you've applied to. I just haven't been commenting a lot anywhere because I haven't really felt good.
I've been meaning to call you and I think I will tonigh, thurs.
Things seem to be going down hill ever since we went out that Saturday. At least things are still going well with you and Celestinito :)
I think the best thing you can do, honestly, is to break down and go hug your mom and tell her how much you love her.
My mom gets worried and turns into a screaming witch on wheels, it's just her way to handle things though. I'm positive that your mom is worried about you and your situation right now.
A hug will break the tension building and be good for both of ya. I'll call you later. Take care!
~Lisa
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