What I Felt Was Going To Be A Good Day

So I thought today was going to be a good day. I'd be home alone (as usual) and get to listen to my music as loud as I'd like (it is an iPod clock radio thingy so it doesn't go up that loud, just to 40) and I'd be able to NOT have ANY negativity in the house...

Well, at least until 5 o'clock.

Boy, was I dead wrong.

I woke up this morning around 10:35, took my shower while listening to Grupo Montez de Durango and singing along to a few of their tunes.

After my shower, I opened up the front porch for the cats, but Helena was already out on the porch! I asked her "OMG have you been out here all night?" No answer from her of course, she just looks at me like she's trying to decipher my words lol. I looked towards my parent's room and I see the screen open. Ah ha, so my step dad must have opened it this morning before going to work.

So I bring my iPod clock radio into the kitchen and listen to some more Grupo Montez while cooking my breakfast.

While my eggs were cooking, I walked by my parent's room and saw the TV on and someone playing a game. OMG, I wasn't alone.

My step dad took the day off today. I knew he was supposed to take my mom to her Dr's appointment, but I was under the assumption that he would take her, bring her to work, come back home, go to work, then go pick her up. Boy, was I wrong.


At first it was an okay start of the day. I sat down with my breakfast to watch a movie that I had taped, The Faculty, and soon after my step dad comes out and greets me cheerfully.

Nice. A positive day, just what I like.


I was wrong, AGAIN.


I hear our home phone ring a couple of times and of course knew it was my mother. A little after 1pm I decide I am hungry for lunch.

My step dad is in the kitchen and mentions to me "Why don't you go upstairs and talk to them?" Meaning the guys upstairs putting in the carpet...of course they are Hispanic.

I tell him "I've got a novio."

"What's a novio?" he chuckles.

I tell him it means boyfriend.

Everything seemed okay from there. I was petting Cotton on the counter and my step dad was cleaning (or spraying down) the oven with oven cleaner...my mom had asked him to do that.

Anyways, we are talking some more and I mention the awful dream I had last night. He asked me what happened. I told him I had a dream that the Chivito had to go back to Mexico. He goes "Well, maybe he has to" Then I explained to him it didn't have anything to do with Immigration or anything like that.

So to explain it better, at that time a song was playing (not loud, you could barely hear it at all) by Los Tigres del Norte and I pointed to my iPod clock radio and said "I had a dream last night that this group singing right now wanted my Chivito to join their music group but he had to go and live in Mexico for a while in order to do it."

You want to know what my Pr*ck of a step-father said to me?

"Oh that's just an excuse to go back to Mexico in order to see his wife."

Man, he's got balls to say something like that. I don't remember WHAT happened after that. I know that I called my mom and told her. She isn't surprised because he's a pr*ck just about all of the time.

THIS is why I HAVE to find a job, save up a bunch of money, get a trailer and move into it and have my Chivito move in with me. I'm NOT saying right along, but eventually would be nice. My household would be POSITIVE and I'd be away from all this negativity.

My mom told me at first maybe he was joking. Nope. Not even close. He said it with such coldness and prickyness (if there is even a word) that I just cried. Then she had mentioned that maybe it was because he didn't feel like cleaning the oven. Right away I said to her that he had no right, I could see if I had done something wrong but basically we both have been minding our own business up until the chatting in the kitchen.

I wanted the Chivito to be with me SO bad at that moment. But I won't tell him what my step dad said because I wouldn't want him to think bad of him or feel uncomfortable around him.

I don't like when my step dad says things to hurt me. I don't like living here. Maybe it seems like I am complaining but I'm not. My family always thinks that I AM the one who is ALWAYS negative and in a bad mood. Why?

I'll tell you why: Because I am NOT happy in this household. I don't know if it is the negativity that Joe (that's the stepfather) gives off or sometimes that my mom's in a bad mood (maybe because she is unhappy in her marriage?) I don't know. All I know is I can't wait to get a job and save up money. Because I'm gone.

The only thing that will be left of me will be a trail of dust...because that's how fast I'll get out of here when I have the cash and when the time is right.

I know this won't be for a while, but I am anxious for that day to come.



Does that sound bad? I mean my mom is great, she really is. I just feel (and ALWAYS have felt) that she can do better. I wanted to say SO bad when the guy was like at their wedding "If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace." OMG I wanted to say something so bad. But I didn't. It was my mom's day. She loves him or whatever. So I kept that trap of mine shut.

Oh well. I'm going to have to stay in my room for the rest of the day to avoid all this drama.



On another quick note, I received an email today from a job that I sent my resume for data entry clerk at home. I had to submit some more info to them if I wanted to take this online test and of course, I made sure that there was no extra cost involved like paying for a job lol. There's not and I would probably start work in August. Which kinda stinks BUT is okay because August will be here before I know it.


Anyways, for your viewing pleasure below is a picture of when my step dad flipped me off. (he didn't know I was taking his pic w/ my cell phone)

It's the only picture I really have that shows his "true colors". How nice, isn't it? *rolls eyes*

(Okay so he's not those things ALL the time, just most)